The Twelve Days of Spander
by Bunny O'Hare
Everyone was settling down after the 'family' Yule get-together. Xander was filling the dishwasher, Willow was
taking down the decorations, Buffy was tending the fire, Dawn was removing the
temporary color she had put in her hair, and Spike was watching the telly.
Spike went out to the kitchen for a second helping of O-neg. He heard Xander softly hummming the theme to Peanuts.
"From Donutboy to dishwife in one easy step."
"It's funny, all my life I heard my mom gripe about doing housekeeping, 'I found my knight in shining armor, now I have to clean up after his horse,' and 'Starts when you sink into his arms, ends with your arms in his sink,' but I don't mind it. It makes me feel part of the family. Since Joyce... This should be the worst Christmas ever. Buffy and Dawn's first one without Joyce. Tara leaving Willow, Anya leaving me... but it's a heck of a lot better than Christmas with my family ever was."
Spike picked up a dish towel and started to dry off the pots. "Yeah well, I liked Anya. Sorry she ran off like that."
"I try to look on the bright side. Joyce must be in heaven, Willow hasn't done a spell in almost a month, and Anya leaving... It didn't break my heart. Plus, pie. And sympathetic vampires."
Xander flipped the switch for the garbage disposal but it made a horrible, useless grinding noise and then stopped working altogether.
"Crud, the disposal is busted again." Xander crouched down to look under the sink.
"You're all manly fixing the pipes. You've even got plumbers butt!" Spike snickered.
"Hey, since I'm a carpenter, and you seem to be staring at my butt... I guess that means my um, crack is showing. Change that to carpenter's crack, please." Xander toggled the reset switch on the disposal and stood up. He heard a sigh of disappointment from Spike as the carpenter's crack disappeared. Whatever snarky reply the vampire was starting to utter was quickly muted by the sound of the water as Xander turned it back on and flipped the switch. The dulcet tones of a working disposal filled the room.
"These pipes are clean and it's time to run the dishwasher."
Sexy vamp leer, level #11 was used. "I've got some pipes that could use a good cleaning."
"Huh? No dinner, no movie? What kind of a guy do you think I am? Don't answer that. You want me to clean your pipes, you're going to have to woo me. Beer and chocolate will have to be involved and..."
Spike pulled Xander into his arms and kissed him.
"Is that is the only way I can get you to shut up?"
"Yeah, so there need to be dates, real da..."
Spike interrupted this tirade by pulling him closer, muttering, "Right then!" and kissing Xander again and again. Finally Xander broke the kiss, breathless, and Spike agreed that there would have to be many, many dates. "But only if we are home by eleven so we can shag all night."