The Advent of Spander

A Little Christmas Cheer



Christmas at Slayer Headquarters, or rather The Winter Holidays (as the Holiday celebration committee insist they be called), were a riotous mix of colors, language and tradition. Multi-ethnic, religious and overly inclusive was the overriding theme, but Xander preferred to think of it as having a little something for everyone.


For the Wiccans there was a tasteful solstice celebration.  A Christmas tree and the associated decorations and gift-giving for the Christians.  All the SiTs were able to include their own traditions into what became more like the month-long Saturnalia of old, or so Spike and Ethan said, in between endless toasts of mead/mulled wine/eggnog/whatever seasonal alcohol they were ingesting that day.


The point is it was a party.  An apparently never-ending one.  After the last apocalypse, which they just barely won, everyone needed a little stress release.  If that meant Ye Olde Watcher Headquarters had become more like Daytona at Spring Break, then so be it. He was gonna make with the merry and party like it’s 1999 or uh, something, until Giles eventually cracked a dusty tome and exclaimed “Oh dear”.


Although going by the way G-man’s wardrobe now seemed to consist solely of faded jeans and t-shirts of bands on reunion tours, he didn’t think Giles was gonna be cracking the books anytime soon.  And going by the way Ethan was practically in Giles’ lap, their hands in all sorts of naughty places, Xander predicted they would soon be making a hasty exit from the festivities.


He grinned. With Ethan occupied that meant he was no longer wrapped up in whatever we’re-so-very-English-you-couldn’t-possibly-understand conversation that he and Spike had been engaged in for most of the night.  Xander wasn’t stupid.  He knew the surly attitudes were a front designed to keep people away from whatever questionable libations they’d acquired for the evening.  He’d just smiled and left the semi-evil Brits to their booze and dirty talk.


Xander started making his way through the crowd to the alcove Spike had been holed up in when he noticed it was now sans vampire.  He looked around the room, but couldn’t see Spike anywhere.  He noticed Willow by the snack table and started towards her to see if she’d seen the blond menace when a high-pitched shriek pierced the low thrum of conversation.


“Wooohooo Spike!”


Everyone stopped and looked at Buffy who continued to cheer until she noticed the whole room looking at her.  Embarrassed but defiant she explained “He’s gonna sing. He never sings.”  They looked en masse and yep, there was Spike standing on the stage.


It was true, Spike never sang.  Despite the long-standing tradition of Tuesday night karaoke at HQ, no one had ever been able to convince, cajole or threaten Spike into taking a turn.  He hadn’t even had any luck with the promise of many and varied sexual favors.


Spike was always in attendance, (heckling) critiquing the performers - even encouraging some of the shyer, new SiTs to join in on the fun - but he had never participated himself.  So Xander had no idea why his lover would suddenly be pro-karaoke.


He pushed his way to the stage just in time to see Spike sway a bit and blink at the karaoke machine.


“Spike, what are you doing!”


Spike looked over at him although Xander noticed he seemed to be having some trouble focusing.  “Xan? Gonna sing some - sumthin’ Christmassy,” he slurred.


“Oh God.  What were you and Ethan drinking?!”


“‘Not drunk, pet. It’s Christmas! And I’m gonna sing. For you.”


Xander made a move to get on the stage and hussle Spike somewhere private.  But the blonde seemed to remember he was a vampire - made his song selection, grabbed the mic and moved centerstage - before Xander could even blink.


He tapped the mic loudly, “Hello, can you hear me?”


“Yeah Spike we can hear you, wooohooo!!!”  Xander just shook his head at Buffy’s enthusiastic reply.  She was going to regret whatever it was she’d been enjoying this evening.


He turned back to the stage as Spike started speaking.


“This is for my boy. Love you, Xander.”


The crowd awww’d and he couldn’t keep the sappy grin off his face as he looked up at his man.  His beautiful, immortal man that he loved with all his heart.


The grin froze on his face as the first notes of the song began to play.  “No.  Gods no.”


Spike’s smooth baritone filled the room as he sang.


“I don’t want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need”


Not this song.  Spike would never sing him this song if he were in his right mind.  Xander had to something, anything, to stop this.


“I don’t care bout the presents underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own, more than you can ever know”


He looked around for a distraction, but there was nothing.  Everyone was just staring, silent,  mouths agape as Spike - with his leather duster, bleached hair and chipped black nail polish - sang a romantic Top 40 holiday song.  To Xander.


There were a few nervous chuckles and Xander realized it was too late.  Too late to spare his lover the embarrassment and probably endless teasing that was going to result from this performance. It’s too late, this is already happening, so he tried to just relax to enjoy it.


“Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you”


Unlike everyone else, Xander knew the vampire had a lovely voice.  As the beat picked up, Spike seemed to warm to the song and started to really belt it out.  People began to clap along and dance.  Buffy and Dawn ran onto the stage and started singing backup.


Xander was just relieved no one was heckling.  The song was ending and he hoped he wouldn’t have to drag Spike off the stage.


Arms in the air, staring in Xander’s eyes, Spike sang the last notes and the room erupted in thunderous applause.  Xander thought his face might actually crack he was smiling so hard.


The onstage trio took a bow and Spike stepped forward for a solo bow when he suddenly crumpled to the ground.  Xander managed to catch him before he hit anything. When he leaned close to check he didn’t know what - not for breathing or a pulse - he heard a soft snore.  Spike was fine. Just passed out.


Xander sighed, hoisted the vampire onto his shoulder and started towards their rooms.  Merry Christmas to him.




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