Changing Tomorrow 8
by Danielle
 

** emphasis
// thoughts

Two weeks later, an irritated Spike grabbed Xander as he was leaving the library.

“Do you know what a bloody pain it is to get you alone?” he demanded after pulling Xander into the janitor’s closet.

“Oh I’m sorry, Mr. Let’s-Act-Like-Nothing-Happened! Did my getting on with life inconvenience you?” They were nose to nose in the cramped space and he chuckled. “Am I the only one seeing the funny in this? Xander Harris, just ducked into the famed make-out closet with William the Bloody!”

Spike brushed the human’s body against his own, not missing Xander’s intake of breath. “Nothing funny about it, luv.” He was helplessly drawn to the boy as his palm touched Xander’s cheek. “Not sure what this is, but I think I like it…” He leaned in and pulled the unresisting human into a kiss.

Xander was on fire as soon as the vampire’s lips touched his. He responded enthusiastically, pulling Spike to him by the hips and writhing against him. Cool, soft lips opened, and the human’s tongue invaded. As the kiss deepened, spirals of desire uncoiled through them.

Spike’s surprise at the response was soon overshadowed by pure, unadulterated lust. The hand not cupping the youth’s face snaked down Xander’s back, lingering there to slip under the shirt. Everything about this human was hot and sweet, drawing the boy further and further into the vampire’s heart. Easing out of the kiss, Spike met the boy’s wild eyes.

“I’m going crazy, Spike. The future--I can’t turn it off. You know that guy in ‘Clockwork Orange’? Where they prop his eyes open and make him see the movies? I’m him. Watching everyone die.”

Something inside the vampire twisted at the desperate look in the youth’s eyes. He pulled him close, exchanging comfort.

“I know, luv. We’ll turn it off together, yeah?” Spike felt the tears on his neck and squeezed tighter.

“You’re the only one who knows how it feels! And there’s s-something else. D-dreams.” Xander pulled away as he stammered. “That first night, I dreamt of Drusilla. I--” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. “--I-I woke up with her blood in my mouth…and it’s been one shattering nightmare after the next ever since.”

The unguarded sorrow from Spike told him everything. The vampire had drunk himself into a stupor, trying to burn away the pain with alcohol. His grief at murdering Dru had overtaken him, and he had nearly starved himself. He’d driven to Las Vegas and drank his fill of the lowlifes there, only returning when he was strong. The vampire was in top form, but his heart was still shredded to ribbons. And the human had seen it all.

“You killed her, didn’t you?” Something in the flat tone said that Xander wasn’t judging him. “You don’t have to explain. She was a threat, Spike, and she would have broken your heart, but I also know that it killed you to do it. I felt that in the dreams.”

The vampire closed his eyes and struggled not to cry. “Not sure how it’ll affect us in the end though, mate.” He rubbed his face and backed off.

“Did you dream about me?” Xander asked unsurely.

Spike chuckled, “No, but my dreams were bloody realistic! I was kissing some bint who turned into a mummy…I was dancing in a bra and knickers at a party, fighting some snake man…”

Xander blushed. At Spike’s look, he explained, “My first kiss? Well, she turned out to be a mummy--I swear she looked human! Then Buffy went to a frat party filled with snake demon worshippers and I had to infiltrate--”

“That was your first kiss?” the vampire asked, wonder in his eyes. Purity was such a foreign thing to a 125-year-old Big Bad that he hadn’t considered the youth’s innocence. How the visions must have rocked the human. He smiled smugly and raised an eyebrow. “Would make me your second…unless you got cozy with any of the college boys…”

The youth smiled ruefully. “Not a chance.” The blonde’s surprised look prompted him to continue. “--Not because of the guy thing. It’s just…the only ones who’ve ever been…interested are demons.” He grinned, flustered at sharing this much with the vampire. “That kind of wins out over any orientation issues. You know who almost held the ‘first kiss’ title? Giant bug.”

“Gotta get back to business, then we can snog all you like and I’ll show you what real kissing’s all about.” He shot a wavering smile at the human.

“Halloween--we have to act like normal. Do everything that we would have already,” Xander sighed as he said it.

 

CHANGING TOMORROW 9

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