"So I was thinking about the living room," Spike said as he and Xander sat at
the kitchen table after finishing their dinner.
"What about it?" Xander
"It's dull." He began to draw designs in the gravy on his plate
with his finger.
Xander deliberately didn't look over to see what they
were; if they weren't obscene then they were probably full of murder and mayhem,
and neither way would they be conducive to carrying on a rational
"How exciting does it need to be?" he asked. "It's a living
room. We live there. You know, watch tv, play video games, eat popcorn, read
books, sixty-nine on the couch, sometimes more than one at once. What else do
"Well, you know, you've had that entertainment center for
years, and the walls are just a boring white…"
Xander looked at Spike
"You've been watching Trading Spaces again, haven't
"I admit to nothing," said Spike airily. "I'm just saying that it's
a bit dull is all."
"So what do you want to do?" he
asked. "Paint the walls? Slipcover the couch? Get some throw
"Well, the pillows might be nice for under my knees when I'm
blowing you, but I was thinking more like making a whole-wall shelving unit,
maybe punching a window through into the kitchen, and ripping up the rug to
install a hardwood floor."
"Hey, Vern does it all the
"Aha!" Xander said triumphantly. "I knew you were watching
"I know we can do it. Look, if that goober Ty can
build an entertainment center, how hard can it be?"
"Spike, I build
things all day. You know, with wood and nails. Like Ty, only with a bigger
budget and a longer timeframe. That's my job. The last thing I want to do is
come home and have to rip up carpet and punch holes in the wall because you
think that the living room is a bit dull."
"Well, actually, I
thought I could do the ripping up and punching holes part."
"Oh, I see.
You just want to destroy things, huh? Not put things back together? I have to
clean up the mess?" Xander shoved his chair back from the table and dumped his
plates in the sink.
"It's what I'm good at," Spike said, staring at his
plate. "You know, vampire. Fangs, destruction, bloody mayhem. Not known for our
construction skills. But never mind. You're right. The living room is
Xander let out a sigh and put his arms around Spike's shoulders.
He kissed him on top of his head and breathed in the scent of shampoo, hair gel,
and Spike that lingered in his tousled hair.
"You're good at more than
destroying things. You're good at singing, you're good at cards, you're good at
finding the perfect song to annoy me in any mood, and you're very good at us."
He kissed him again. "If you want to rip up the living room, I'll rebuild it for
you. For us."
"Nah. Paint fumes make me sneeze," Spike said. He touched
his lips briefly to Xander's and then stood to clear his dishes.
about some throw pillows, then?" Xander asked, poking his head into the freezer.
Crisis averted. Time for ice cream.
"Nah. They'd just get in the way
during the sixty-nines."
"We wouldn't want that," Xander said, grinning.
"Hey, want some ice cream? I bought chocolate-banana today..."
something else in mind for dessert, pet," Spike said, coming up close behind
Xander and closing the freezer door. He licked the man along the side of his
neck and smiled as Xander shivered and pressed back against him.
Spike rubbed sinuously against Xander's buttocks and ran his hands
over the man's chest and down his thighs.
"I've been planning it all
day," Spike murmured.
"Planning what?" Xander asked, his breath hitching
as the vampire ran his tongue around his ear.
Suddenly Xander found
himself alone against the refrigerator as Spike began to open up
"Well, I was watching Emeril the other day,
Whatever Spike was going to suggest for dessert was promptly cut
off by Xander spinning him around and kissing him soundly as he dragged him to
the kitchen floor.
"Remind me to cancel cable," Xander said as he
unbuttoned Spike's fly and pulled his jeans down to his knees.
you'd miss Queer Eye, and I know that Carson makes you hot," said Spike,
his words choppier than normal as he writhed beneath Xander's warm
"You make me hot," said Xander, licking Spike's prominent
erection before swallowing it to the root.
"Xander! Oh, yes, like that!
Gah. Who needs cable. Or a tv? God, or a living room?" Spike asked before his
eyes rolled back in his head and he was no longer able to think coherently at
The next day, however, Xander bought two throw-pillows for their
couch, both blood red. He wouldn't want Spike's knees to hurt, after all.