Spike studied the stake in his hand, trying to imagine the feel of it piercing
his heart. He wondered if he'd feel his body breaking apart and crumbling to
dust, or if it would just be one mind numbing flash of pain and then
He snorted. Nothing.
He was nothing before Dru found
him. Less than nothing. Cecily had said as much. Then Dru had come along,
beautiful and broken and she'd needed Spike.
Now, not only had he lost
her but he'd lost his bite. He'd lost everything that had made him who and what
He was stuck in this fucking basement, singing to the bloody
Slayer's tune and begging for his next meal; relegated to nothing more than
Xander's house boy.
Spike groaned, lip curling in disgust at the
ridiculous excuse for a shirt he wore. “Doing a little laundry for once wouldn't
kill you,” Spike parroted, staring at the stake again.
Xander was not thinking about the way Spike looked in his clothes. He wasn't.
Besides, Spike's own clothes were a lot... tighter, sexier, you know, if you
were into that kind of thing. Which Xander wasn't.
Except there was
something... intimate about seeing someone else in your clothes. Just like all
those chick flicks Willow and Buffy were always forcing him to watch. The ones
where the couple gets it on and then the girl slips into his shirt so that they
can have a midnight snack or something.
The guy always really likes it.
Xander can kind of understand why.
Except Spike wasn't his girl!
Spike wasn't anything. And there was absolutely nothing wrong with Xander
admitting that another guy could be attractive. He was secure enough in his
masculinity to admit that Spike was... sexy. He had the accent, and the muscles.
And, yeah, maybe those blue eyes with that white blond hair was sort of a good
But Xander wasn't thinking about any of that.
Sometimes Xander wondered if they'd even notice if he were gone. It never lasted
long, and when he really thought about it he knew that they would. But, still,
sometimes he felt like he could fade into the background and no one would be the
It was hard being best friends with a witch, a Slayer, a Watcher
and even a vampire. It was hard being just ordinary guy in that kind of
He tried not to think about it too often, tried not to be hurt
when he wasn't needed, when the best he could do was provide a distraction for
the rest of them.
It was even worse now that Spike was a part of it.
Buffy pretended to hate him, but Xander knew that she liked having someone else
around to take up some of the slack. Someone else with superhuman strength.
Someone else who could actually make a difference.
It wasn't hard to
imagine them together.
Xander couldn't decide if he were jealous of
Spike.... or Buffy.
Spike shoved another box of Twinkies into the back of the cupboard. He glanced
around, listening for a moment until he could hear the faint thrum of Xander's
heart down the hall. He took a moment to adjust himself before striding into the
living room to turn on the telly.
“Hey,” Xander said a few minutes later,
ripping open a Twinkie and stuffing it into his mouth as he dropped onto the
couch beside Spike.
Spike bit back a groan, feeling his erection pulse
against the zip of his jeans. He couldn't help turning slightly to watch as the
sweet pastry slid passed Xander's lips. He swallowed against his own dry throat
as Xander's Adam's apple bobbed with each swallow.
Hell, Spike didn't
know why he tortured himself this way. He could just let Xander's supply run out
and then he wouldn't have to deal with this, but he liked watching Xander's...
enjoyment of it. He especially liked the little humming noise that Xander made
as he bit into the sweet, the creamy filling exploding onto his
Spike couldn't hold back his groan then.
looking at Spike funny. “Did you buy a new box of Twinkies?”
“Why would I
do that?” Spike huffed. “Think I care whether you run out of
“How do you even know that I like Twinkies?” Xander asked, eyes
searching Spike's. “Have you been.. watching me?”
“What? Don't be an
idiot,” Spike said, but he saw the way Xander's lips curled up at the corners as
he turned back to the telly.
Maybe he'd let the next box run out and see
if Xander might like a new treat.