BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS 1
By Nash
Notes

Xander was in the kitchen fixing up some popcorn and drinks for Willow and himself. After she came back from England they were both determined to get their friendship back to what it had been before. To this end they had set aside Thursday nights as theirs to watch films, have a chat, and do whatever they felt like, so long as they did it together.

Today was the first Thursday after Xander had reluctantly taken one insane souled vampire in his home. Which was why, after the popcorn was done he popped a bag of pig’s blood in the microwave. For Spike. The young man kept up a steady internal grumble as he catered for his unwelcome guest.

I am never getting rid of this guy. I mean seriously, how Buffy can forgive him so easily is beyond me. He tried to kill her for Christ sake and he nearly succeeded. Stupid undead bastard. As if sleeping with my best friend and my fiancée wasn’t enough. I swear: if he so much as looks at Willow wrong I will stake him all the way to next Tuesday.

Xander’s inner ranting was interrupted as Willow’s voice caught his attention. “Why did you do it Spike? Get the soul I mean.” He edged closer to the doorway, unashamedly eavesdropping, straining to hear the vampire’s answer.

Spike sighed. He’d known he’d have to explain himself sooner or later. At least it would be Willow he’d have to explain it to. Having taken a walk on the dark side herself, maybe she’d understand and not judge him too harshly.

“It all comes back to the girl,” he stated and seeing Willow’s worried look continued to explain. “Don’t worry Red, I’m not sliding back to babbling madness. I left that at the Hellmouth with the First. I’m just pointing out that for me, it always comes back to the girl: first Cecily, then Drusilla and now Buffy. Only exception to that rule was Angelus, but that’s a whole other story, innit? So yeah, I loved the girl, and I hurt her. I, William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, couldn’t stand the thought of nearly bagging my third one. The way she looked at me that night, as if she *expected* this, expected *me* to do this…it broke me. So I ran. Tried to become someone she deserved. All I managed to do was realize how much I didn’t deserve her. How much I still don’t.” The vampire concluded his speech in a pained whisper.

Willow immediately jumped up from her seat and rushed to his side. “I’m so sorry Spike,” she said wrapping her arms around him.

“I’m a monster, Red. I tortured and killed people. The whelp is right, I deserve everything I get.” Xander shuddered at the self-loathing underscoring Spike’s voice. The vampire’s matter-of-fact acceptance affected him more than Angel’s tortured declaration ever did. He shivered again and nearly missed Willow’s reply to the vampire.

“You didn’t have any control Spike. Your soul was gone, the demon took over your body and did those things,” she’d said in an attempt to comfort him.

Spike sighed. “I know what I was, Red. There’s nothing I can do about that now is there? It took me a while to accept that but I have. I can’t keep thinking about it or it will only drive me crazy. It took the Poof 100 years to understand that. Me? I learn faster.” He paused, unsure whether he should continue. He took a deep breath and went on in the same flat tone, “You’re wrong about the soul not being present. When Dru turned me, the demon took over the body but the soul didn’t leave. Dunno why, probably because she was too out of it to do it right. Anyway, the soul may not have had control, but it was still there and there was nothing it could do about it. At first it tried to stop the demon, but it only managed to influence him in his least homicidal moments. It tried to stop him, the demon, from killing even if it seemed futile with the bloodlust being so strong… I keep thinking that there was something else the soul could have done. Maybe if I tried harder, if I did something different, the soul could have saved someone. Now that *I* means both of them, I’m not sure what to think. I’m both the demon and the soul Red, I feel guilty for the things the demon did and for the inability of the soul to stop him. It’s a bit unsettling, but I’ll deal. I *am* dealing.” As he spoke Spike’s voice had taken a desperate quality.

The witch’s eyes filled with tears and she hugged Spike tighter. “I’m so sorry Spike,” she whispered. “I didn’t know.”

Xander stood in the kitchen, lost in thought. He remembered the helplessness of being possessed by the hyena. Feeling her power wash over him; trying to stop himself from attacking Buffy but being unable to do anything but watch. Feeling responsible for actions out of his control; for not being able to stop himself. What would a hundred and twenty odd years of that be like, he wondered. The boy resolved to give Spike a chance to become more than an enemy.

He came back to himself to hear Willow softly crying. He could never stand to see his best friend cry so he grabbed a couple of sodas and the warmed blood and sauntered into the living room wearing his patented Xander Harris Infectious Smile, the one that always made Willow grin at him.

As he entered the room, the brunet started speaking in a very theatrical voice. “And now ladies and vamps we have for your drinking pleasure: The best decaf cola money can buy for the most beautiful little redhead this side of the moon and the reddest pig’s blood found at the corner butcher for yours truly’s favourite…well, least-annoying, creature of the night.” He presented both items with a flourish, delighting in Willow’s merry giggles before continuing, “Tonight we shall also have the greatest, tastiest, delicacies in this apartment: popcorn and assorted sweets. I’ll even throw in some mini-marshmallows for Bleach-boy here if he promises to dunk them quietly. I so don’t want to hear about the tastiness, texture or colour of blood-soaked marshmallows.” Turning to Spike he smiled at him and wagged his finger. “Promise?”

The vampire looked shocked at this display of friendliness, but rallied quickly and chuckled through a solemn vow never to mention anything to that effect for as long as he should unlive.

Xander went to get the rest of the goodies from the kitchen, leaving the others to put the DVD on. He came back to hand a separate tub of popcorn to Spike, just in case he wanted to drizzle blood on it, pointing out that the marshmallow-rule applied to this as well, and sat down next to Willow setting the second tub of popcorn between them.

“So, Wills, what are we watching?” he asked between mouthfuls of popcorn.

“I got ‘Kate and Leopold’,” she replied.

Both males groaned in dismay. Xander glared accusingly at Willow and said, “Oh, come on Willow, you promised: no girly films!”

The witch blushed, but stood her ground. “Yeah, but I’ve wanted to see this movie for ages it was on special offer and I know you’ll like it Xan, it’s not *that* girly,” she babbled and fluttered her eyelashes at her friend giving him her sweetest smile.

The boy sighed and said resignedly, “Ok Wills. You know I can never say no to you.”

Spike smirked. “Led through the nose, aren’t you Harris?” he drawled.

The brunet smirked right back at him. “Don’t make me remind you of over 100 years of obeying every wish and whim of one insane vamp, Bleach-boy.”

“Yeah, but at least I got some sex out of it *whelp*.”

Xander started forming a reply but was interrupted by Willow laughingly scolding them, “Now stop it. The both of you. I wanna watch the movie.”

They settled down to watch the film. The boys bonded over scathing comments, Spike about the implausibility of Leopold’s world and Xander about the ridiculousness that was Kate.

At the end of the evening Xander kissed Willow goodnight, extracting promises of very manly films for their next meeting. He returned to the living room to say goodnight to Spike only to find that the vampire had already gone to his own room so he cleaned up the living room and went to sleep himself.

The next evening Xander decided to try and show Spike that he was willing to bury the hatchet. He knocked on the vampire’s bedroom door intending to ask him to hang out for a while. When he received no answer he hesitantly opened the door and called out, “Spike? Wanna come out and watch a movie with me? I got Blade II, figured it would be good for a few laughs.” He waited for a reply. “Spike? You in there?”

The brunet jumped as he heard a voice coming from behind him and turned around to see the vampire fresh out of the shower clad in nothing but a towel. “What was that whelp?” he said.

Putting his hand over his heart Xander managed to gasp, “Don’t do that!” before glaring at the blond and snapping, “That’s it, I’m getting you a bell! I did not survive several monsters and a hellgod to die of a heart attack because a vampire went ‘boo!’.”

Spike raised a quizzical eyebrow. “I’ll *try* to be more noisy in the future,” he drawled. “Would you like me to stomp my feet maybe?”

To the blond’s surprise, instead of sniping at him, Xander burst out laughing. Trying to speak between giggle fits, he managed: “Stomping…you…like a…five year old…hee!”

The boy’s laughter was so infectious that Spike couldn’t help laughing himself, both of them slowly subsiding to wide smiles. “So, what did you want to tell me then?” Spike asked, still smiling.

Xander repeated his earlier offer of a movie. Spike accepted and after he got dressed they both settled down to watch the film, giggling like teenagers at the thought of evolved vampires. After the film was over, Xander realized that Spike was about to affect a quick escape much like he did the previous day. Before the vampire had time to get up from the couch the brunet turned to him and said, “We need to talk, Bleach.”

Spike was immediately on his guard.

“No good ever came of these words, pet. You of all people, should know that,” he said, surprising Xander into a mini-babble.

“What? No!” the boy exclaimed. “No bad here. All good in fact. I was just going to offer a truce. Really. All about burying the hatchet.”

The vampire was intrigued “A truce? Why?” he asked.

Xander earnestly tried to explain his reasons “I overheard you and Willow talking last night. I think I understand a little of what it must have felt like to watch the demon do what he did and you deserve a second chance. From me anyway. I’m not saying we’ll be best friends or anything, but I’d like to at least try and get along.” He paused for a moment. “So, what do you think?”

Spike contemplated the boy before him. “You’re serious about this then?” he asked.

“Yeah, I am. Look, Spike, we got along well enough last night and tonight didn’t we? No reason why we can’t keep getting along!” the brunet said.

“You’re right, pet. No reason why we can’t keep getting along,” the vampire whispered, something akin to hope shining in his eyes. Maybe he could find a place to belong again. Dawn and Buffy had forgiven him and it looked like Harris was finally giving him a chance to prove himself. The vampire hadn’t felt so optimistic since the day he got the soul.

-------------------

Time passed, Xander and Spike kept on getting along. The vampire was now an integral part of the group and as the only two guys in an oestrogen-loaded gang, they drew together for protection as Xander laughingly commented one day when it seemed like all three girls were on a hormonally induced rage. They bonded over games of pool and action films and the vampire taught the boy the finest points of ‘proper football’.

The vampire was okay most of the time, the frequent nightmares and bouts of guilt-ridden madness he’d had when he’d first moved in had tapered off now that he was actively trying to make up for taking lives by saving them. Now that he belonged again.

Xander was very excited to have a guy friend. He hadn’t realised how much he missed male company until he started hanging out with Spike more. Tonight he was doubly excited and when he opened the door to the apartment he started yelling “Spiiiiiiike” at the top of his lungs.

“Calm down pet, vampire with sensitive hearing here,” the blonde grumbled coming in from the kitchen.

“Spike, ol’ buddy ol’ pal, I got us some goody good news,” Xander couldn’t help the grin spreading over his face.

The vampire smiled at the boy’s obvious joy. “What’s the good news then?” he asked.

“I got a raise!” Xander did a little dance around the couch and continued, “And not only that, but since I *knew* it was coming I planned ahead and we can get you human blood! Human blood Bleach! Don’t think I didn’t notice you were malnourished. Your ribs are sticking out Spike.” Xander stopped his excited monologue to glare accusingly at the vampire. “But anyway, I digress,” the boy returned to his previous exuberant state, resuming his little dance and babbling happily. “We can get you human blood, not a whole lot, but enough to make you better, and it will be voluntarily given human blood Willie promised, so no guilt! And, hey, do different types of blood taste differently?” the boy stopped dancing and grinned at Spike who burst into near hysterical laughter.

Xander frowned at the laughing vampire and asked worriedly “Spike? Are you okay?”

Spike tried to reply between peals of laughter. “Asked...Angel…money…blood…for me.”

“You asked Angel for money?” the brunet seemed very confused at that conclusion.

Spike finally calmed down enough to explain. “Not *his* money luv, mine. Angelus was big on luxuries and comfort. Set up accounts for all his childer. And me as well; seeing as he considered me one of his. Amazing how much interest accumulates for over a hundred years.” The vampire grinned trying hard not to burst into laughter again. “I finally swallowed my pride and asked the wanker for my money. Didn’t want to be a burden to you lot, you have enough to deal with without having to support a vampire as well, yeah?”

“Wow, you called Deadboy? Did you tell him about the soul?” Xander said in awed tones.

“He already knew pet. I refused to talk about it if you must know. I’m not ready to reconcile with the Grandsire yet. Anyway, seeing as I’m filthy rich now I’ll take care of the rent if you take care of the human food I like to eat. Deal?” Spike extended his arm for a handshake.

“Deal!” Xander was so excited about this development he pulled Spike into a hug. The vampire froze for a moment in surprise, but soon got over it and hugged Xander right back. The brunet closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the closeness…and then abruptly pulled back when he realised just how much he was enjoying it. He covered the potentially awkward moment by declaring that he was calling the girls and they were all going to The Bronze to celebrate.

Later that night as he was getting ready for bed, Xander pondered what he felt when he hugged Spike. Maybe he should start dating again. He was obviously in need of *that* kind of companionship. Tomorrow he’d ask Willow to arrange a date with that nice guy she’d been trying to set him up with for ages. Having made his decision he went to sleep.

Some time later he felt a spot of cool wetness on his neck. He groaned and arched into the feeling. There was a nibbling feeling all the way down his neck to his chest, with a small biting pause at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. The spot moved across his torso, settling for a moment on his nipples making him moan and chase the feeling. Ignoring his attempts to keep it on his stimulated nipple, the feeling slithered down his stomach, pausing to trace his belly-button and thrust inside a few times. Xander whimpered, wordlessly begging for more. The spot moved slowly down the trail of fine hair leading to his cock before sliding up to the crown. Next thing the brunet knew, the cool wetness surrounded his shaft and he helplessly thrust up. Xander opened his eyes to stare down at the most amazing set of blue eyes he’d ever seen. “Oh God…Spike!” he whimpered as the vampire pulled back and suckled on the tip of his cock.

The blond continued his assault on the shaft before him, dipping his tongue into the slit before devoting some attention to the boy’s balls, licking and sucking on them unceasingly. As Xander whimpered and moaned, he drew back again and looking up into glazed brown eyes he swooped down and engulfed the brunet’s entire cock in one move. The boy screamed and thrust up before experiencing the most intense orgasm of his life. “Spike?” he whispered before blacking out.

BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS 2