BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS 4
By
Nash
Notes

 

Xander and Spike had been living together for about six months and had been together for half that time. Everything was well in their world.

The only cloud in their horizon was Spike’s persistence to keep their relationship a secret. Every time Xander tried to bring up the subject the vampire would clam up or find a way to distract the young man. Even though Xander let himself be distracted, the fact that his boyfriend refused to acknowledge him in public and the strain of hiding his relationship from his friends was affecting him badly.

The only reason he managed to keep it together so well was that he could, at least, talk about things with Willow. Xander hadn’t told Spike that Willow knew about them. He feared that the blonde would freak and put a stop to their relationship, which only added another burden to his load.

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“Hey Willow, how goes the exciting world of magical retail?” Xander greeted his friend as he entered the magic shop, smiling cheerfully. Willow had taken over Anya’s position as manager of the shop and recruited Spike’s help as soon as he was capable of providing it.

“Hey Xan.” Willow smiled. “The exciting world of magical retail is completely without excitement today and I’d like to keep it that way thank you very much. You here to pick up Spike?”

The vampire may not like magic being directed at him but a century or so with Drusilla had taught him a lot on what to avoid selling to innocent, and not-so-innocent customers. Not even Spike could withstand Willow’s big green eyes and her patented lost puppy look. When Xander found out that his best friend had convinced the blonde to work with her, he burst into near hysterical paroxysms of laughter and couldn’t stop for nearly an hour.

Spike had not only pouted, but he’d refused to go near Xander for one entire day and night. By the middle of the second day Xander had been begging for forgiveness and promising never to tease the vampire about anything ever again, and could he please come back to bed now?

“Yup. We’re going to watch Pirates of the Carribean. Again. I swear Spike has a crush on that Sparrow guy. I’m a little bit jealous I think,” Xander replied. “So where is my bleached wonder?”

“At the cellar. Want some kissy time?” Willow smiled at the happiness exuding from Xander.

“Hell, yeah!” Xander said, already on his way.

He spotted Spike in the corner leafing through a book, a frown of intense concentration on his face. Xander walked behind the blonde and wrapped his arms around him. “Hey sweetheart, wanna give me a kiss?” he whispered.

Spike smiled and turned around, kissing Xander softly before withdrawing from his arms. “No distractions pet,” he said. “I wanna watch the film.”

“But we already saw it five times Spike!” Xander exclaimed.

“So?”

“So wouldn’t you rather go home and have hot sweaty sex?” The boy cajoled.

“You spent too much time with the ex-demon luv, her straight talk must have been catching. And no, we’re not going home, we’re going to the cinema,” the blonde said firmly.

They ended up going home, hot sweaty sex being significantly more important than a sixth viewing of Jack Sparrow, sexy pirate-man or not.

-------------------

A few nights later, the whole gang was at The Bronze hanging out and generally having the non-Hellmouthy kind of fun. Dawn had begged and pleaded until Buffy let her come along and she perched at the end of her chair looking around the club in wide-eyed wonder.

“Hey, bit, wanna learn how to play pool?” Spike asked looking at Buffy for approval of his offer.

Dawn turned huge pleading eyes at Buffy and erupted into a “Can I? Please Buffy can I?” monologue not even stopping for breath until her sister laughingly agreed to her request.

And that was how Xander ended up watching Spike teach Dawn to play pool, leaning close to her and laughing at something she said. Spike laughed a lot during the pool lesson and Xander found himself uncomfortably envious of the time he spent with Dawn. He wanted to reach out and touch his lover, hug him tightly and whisper in his ear. But he couldn’t do that ‘cause the one thing Spike demanded of their relationship was that it be a secret.

“Hey Bleach,” he called, “wanna come help me get the drinks? I’ll even buy you real British beer.”

Xander grinned as Dawn was summarily delivered to her sister and Spike headed for the bar. The beer trick worked every time. The brunet used the crowd at the bar as an excuse to press against Spike’s back. “Did I tell you lately how hot you look bending over the pool table? I got half hard just watching you teach Dawn how to play,” he whispered and flicked his tongue over the blonde’s earlobe. “What I wouldn’t give to have you home right now, bent over the couch with me buried inside you.”

Suddenly Spike wrenched himself away and marched purposefully back to their table. Xander hesitantly followed him, wondering if he’d gone too far and upset the vampire. But no, Spike was explaining to the girls that Harris was feeling like shit, and what would you expect from a whelp like that anyway, so they were heading home. The boy did his best to look suitably sick but he couldn’t help grinning like an idiot all the way home.

-------------------

Xander’s indulgent attitude towards Spike never really lasted long though. It was usually broken by some little lie he had to tell Buffy to stop her from suspecting, or by any outing where he wanted to hold Spike’s hand but couldn’t. Of course, at this moment in time the last thing in Xander’s mind was relationship issues. He was stalking down the sidewalk alternatively glaring at the blonde and grumbling about vampires, souled and unsouled, and their violent tendencies.

“Did you really have to do that?” he snapped, once again glaring at the vampire walking next to him.

“Gotta let the demon out to play Xan. Don’t want me ending up like the Poof do you? All repressed and staring longingly at humans’ necks,” Spike cheerfully replied.

“You took his head off! With your hands!” his companion stated incredulously.

“Yeah, so?”

“You splattered me with his innards in the process. I’m drenched in green blood!” Xander exclaimed exasperatedly. “It’s gonna take ages to wash this off,” he sighed.

Spike grinned at him happily. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll find a way to make it up to you,” he said.

Xander was immediately interested. “Go on,” he urged.

“Well, we could have a shower together…” Spike said thoughtfully.

“Yes?” Xander encouraged.

“And I could do that thing you like with the fingers and the tongue,” the vampire concluded.

“You mean the one where your fingers go…and your tongue goes…” Xander’s eyes glazed over and he grabbed Spike’s arm and started running for the apartment, dragging the laughing blonde behind him.

Following the shower, during which Xander’s ecstatic screams could be heard throughout the apartment, both men tumbled in a heap on the couch, settling down for their post-patrol ritual of random TV ridicule.

Xander assumed his favourite position, lying on his stomach across the couch, head resting on Spike’s lap, and sighed softly when the vampire absentmindedly played with his hair. He loved quiet moments like this, when there was no need to pretend not to know Spike as well as he did, or to snatch his hand back before touching the blonde, fearing that someone would see and understand. During these moments he could pretend that Spike was his and his alone.

He woke up the next morning, still in the same position. Looking up he saw that Spike was also asleep with his arms stretched over the back of the couch, head resting on one of his arms. Xander smiled sleepily and nuzzled into the vampire’s jean-covered crotch. Encouraged by the response he got, he unzipped the jeans and snuggled closer. Feeling too sleepy still to move he started licking Spike’s dick, lapping it with his tongue wherever he could reach. Hearing a soft moan Xander looked up to see warm blue eyes watching him and paused to smile and offer a good morning to his vampire.

“Don’t stop luv,” Spike sighed, “feels good.”

Xander smiled and went back to his task. He was just beginning to contemplate the pros and cons moving for maximum pleasure when the doorbell started ringing insistently. Xander glared at the direction of the door, it was early in the morning on a Saturday. Who the hell was interrupting his early morning nookie?!

“Guys? It’s Buffy, are you in?”

Oh. Her.

Spike immediately leaped off the couch throwing Xander on the floor in the process. “Shit. Sorry Xan,” he said anxiously, zipping up his jeans and rushing to the door.

“Don’t mind me. I’m only the boyfriend. I’ll just go change then,” the brunet muttered snarkily and headed to his bedroom.

He came out a few minutes later to see that Buffy had taken his place in the couch and the pair was deep in what seemed to be a very intense conversation. Best put the happy ‘friend-of-Spike’ mask on then.

“Hey guys, this a private party or can anyone join in?” he said cheerfully.

“Actually, this is kind of private, pet,” Spike replied looking decidedly uneasy. “Maybe you should go for a walk or something.”

The friend mask slipped for a moment as Xander stared at the blonde’s bent head, confusion and sadness in his eyes. He rallied quickly though and did his best to keep his voice light. “Right. Walls are thin in this apartment, you never know what I might hear,” he said and got out of there as fast as he could.

Xander spent the morning wandering along Sunnydale, trying hard not to think about what was happening back in his apartment and failing miserably. Buffy wanting to talk to Spike was no big. She talked to him every day. And just because Spike said it was personal didn’t mean it was about his relationship with Buffy. It could be about Dawn or something. Except if it was about Dawn why did they send him away?

And so his thoughts went, going down a spiral of depression and uncertainty until he couldn’t take it anymore and started for home. He’d been gone for four hours, they were surely done by now, unless they were celebrating something. Maybe in Spike’s room. God no, not that. Spike wouldn’t do that to him, not without clearing this thing between them first. He hurried even more, needing to get this over with one way or the other.

He burst through the front door and the first thing he saw was Spike and Buffy, still on the couch, heads close together. Spike was holding Buffy’s hands in his, Xander noted in a weirdly detached way. They were both looking at him, identical shocked looks in their faces. Buffy stumbled up from the couch and said something about having to go, looking at anything but Xander.

“No, you don’t have to…I mean…I’ll just be in my room then,” Xander mumbled and practically ran to his bedroom. Oh God, it was all over. He should have known. He should have seen it coming, why hadn’t he? Xander sat on his bed, frozen in place, unable to think.

“Luv, could you come sit with me a minute, there’s something I have to tell you,” Spike said quietly from the doorway.

Xander turned to look at his lover blankly. “Okay,” he said quietly, needing to hear this, actually hear Spike tell him it was over. He went over to the couch and sat down, staring at the floor, willing himself not to react.

Spike sat next to him quietly for a few moments, trying to work up the courage to say what he wanted. He knew Xander was in love with him. A blind person could see what the boy felt; he was carrying his heart on his sleeve.

Finally he took a deep breath and said, “I love you.”

“I know you do Spike, as a friend,” the boy said flatly, still expecting Spike to let him down gently.

“No, Xander I love you. Buffy and I had a talk, we’re friends. That’s all we’ll ever be. And, throughout the whole conversation all I could think about was you, how you looked when you left…how I loved to see you smile…how *I* wanted to be the one to make you smile. I love you Xander,” he repeated, looking intently at him.

Spike watched as Xander just sat there looking confused until he couldn’t take it anymore. “Damn it boy, don’t you understand?” he yelled, “I, William the Bloody am in love with you Alexander LaVelle Harris!”

Still Xander just sat there staring uncomprehendingly. Spike was soon worried and babbling. “Xan? You okay? Bloody hell pet, I really thought this scene would play differently. You’re supposed to smile and jump my bones or something, but no, not you. *You* have to go catatonic.” He paused and willed Xander to respond. “Xan? Xander?”

Meanwhile Xander sat perfectly still while the world rearranged itself around him. Spike was not letting him down gently. He wasn’t letting him down at all. Spike was in love with him. His Spike loved him. He heard Spike call out his name and it finally sank in: Spike loved him. Letting out a whoop of joy he tackled his vampire to the floor and started kissing him everywhere he could reach, chanting ‘I love you’ between kisses.

“Now that’s more like it,” Spike laughed.

Xander finally focused on Spike’s lips, holding the vampire’s face between his hands and exploring his mouth thoroughly. He paused for breath and looked down at the vampire, wide-eyed and awed. “Mine?” he whispered.

Spike smiled at him, saying softly, “Yours, Xan.”

“Mine.” Xander repeated confidently. He reached down and palmed Spike’s hardened cock through his jeans. “Mine” he stated.

Spike whimpered and arched into the touch. Whatever he had been going to say was smothered by Xander’s lips. Still kissing him, Xander undid the vampire’s jeans, and reached one hand inside to pump Spikes’ cock while the other sneaked under his shirt to find and play with his nipples.

When he felt the blonde about to come, Xander stopped everything he was doing and stood up. He looked down at Spike, taking in the wide lust-filled eyes, the bruised lips and the oh-so-prettily aroused body and grinned. “You love me,” he said delightedly.

“I’m gonna love you a hell of a lot more if you get back to what you were doing, pet!” the vampire growled.

“Bedroom. Want lube. You love me.” Delighted grin still firmly in place Xander headed for the bedroom only to be tackled into bed by the now naked vampire.

“I love you,” Spike whispered into his ear, making Xander’s grin widen.

“You do!” he said and turned onto his side, vampire still firmly attached to his back and now licking his nape lazily. The brunet reached to the night table for the lube and then turned again in the circle of Spike’s arms.

“You love me,” he said confidently and kissed him passionately.

“Clothes off Xan,” Spike said the minute the boy stopped to breathe. Xander disrobed as fast as was humanly possible and then launched himself at Spike again, plastering his body against the blonde’s and kissing him again, whispering ‘you love me’ against his lips.

Not breaking the kiss Xander moved them so that Spike was half draped over him. He grabbed Spike’s leg and draped it over his waist. Realising what the boy meant to do Spike wriggled so that he could accommodate him better. Xander snapped open the tube and blindly covered his fingers. He reached around Spike’s body and traced his cleft, moving unerringly towards one target. When he reached it he pulled back from the kiss. “You love me?” he asked breathlessly.

“I do,” Spike confirmed and moaned when his answer was swiftly followed by Xander’s finger entering his hole.

Xander started thrusting his finger in and out and Spike spread his legs wider, trying to give the boy greater access. He buried his face in the brunet’s neck, unintentionally giving Xander a good view of his finger sliding in his pucker. The brunet watched as he a second finger joined the first in stretching Spike. He smiled when the vampire started panting and thrusting, effectively humping Xander’s body, breathing faster and nibbling on his neck. The brunet began to finger fuck him harder and faster, swiftly adding a third finger.

He bent his head and nibbled on Spike’s ear. “Mine,” he whispered intensly.

“Yeah, pet all yours. Now fuck me goddamnit!” The blonde lifted his head to glare at Xander who giggled unrepentantly and stated once again, kissing him after every word “You. Love. Me”. He paused to smile at Spike and then went on, “Now turn over, on all fours.”

Before Xander could even finish the sentence Spike was in position and growling at him to get on with it. The boy grinned at his lover’s impatience and dutifully slicked his erection up and positioned himself behind Spike.

“Tell me,” he ordered, pressing his cock against the vampire’s pucker.

Spike took a breath and said, “I love you Xander.”

The second he heard the words Xander slammed himself in and started fucking Spike hard and fast chanting ‘mine, I love you, mine, my vampire, my Spike, you love me’. Feeling himself come closer and closer to orgasm, he grabbed Spike’s dick in his hand and started pumping him, asking desperately, “Tell me Spike. Tellmetellmetellmetellmetellme.”

“I love you Xan, I love you,” Spike whimpered breathlessly.

The words pushed Xander over the edge, still whispering, “Mine, I love you, mine.”

Both human and vampire collapsed in an ungainly heap on the bed, breathing harshly. A few minutes later the discomfort forced them to move. Xander laid his head on Spike’s chest and nuzzled into his neck. “Love you Bleach,” he said sleepily.

The blonde hugged him tight and placed a kiss on the top of his head. “Love you too, pet. Now go to sleep, you still have to go to work tomorrow.”

 

BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS 5

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