Okay, that has been the last straw, there's only so much a demon can take. Xander bloody Harris has gone too far this time. For the past two nights Xander has been pushing my buttons to the point where I'm no longer sure if I want to throw the whelp down and beat the shit out of him or fuck the boy senseless. Still deciding about which course of action to take, I opened the door of the apartment, surprised to find the door unlocked.
It all started last Thursday night, I'd left the Magic Box to get myself some blood and collect a poker debt from a Chitage demon. When I returned, I went straight to th' back of th' shop. Earlier that night, th' little bit'd offered me a cherry lolly pop. I mebbe a demon but I don't have th' heart ta refuse the nibblet's gift, seeing as she is th' only one that cared ‘bout me for who I am and not what I can do for her. I was goin' to savor it back at the crypt, away from the slayer and her minions. I'd left it on the research table before going to Willie's but the lolly pop was nowhere ta be seen.
I looked around ta find th' thievin' bastard that dares ta touch William the Bloody's property. I never expected ta see th' shaggy haired boy sitting on a nearby chair with MY lolly stuck in that pretty mouth. He was not just eatin' it. Ohhh nooo! He was making love to it, sucking th' lolly like a bleedin' Hoover. And then he had th' balls ta say:
" Oh, Spike, I'm sorry. Was this yours? I wouldn't want to lick anything that you didn't want me too."
I ignored th' twitch in my cock but, before I could say anything, that bloody watcher walked in and that was th' end of that. Well I thought that was th' end. It seems th' mischievous whelp had more surprises in store for me.
Back at th' crypt after a uneventful patrol, I put th' whole incident behind me and fixed myself a mug of that awful pig's blood. I wasn't goin' ta waste any time thinkin' about th' human boy and his cheap sexual innuendo, he was just taking the piss... I lit a fag and turned on the telly, flicking channels until I found some soft porn. I settled on the sofa and started watching it. There's nothing better than a bit of skin to forget about this miserable unlife. Hmm, that brunette had a nice tan but he didn't come close to the whelp's. And his eyes were browner than that guy's. Deep pools of chocolate velvet...
I finally caught myself thinking all this nonsense and looked at the mug of blood I had been drinking. Willie must have changed his blood supplier, this lot seemed ta have been laced with th' blue pill, it made me hornier than hell. I tossed off several times that night til th' wee hours of th' dawn. And if the image of th' whelp sucking MY lolly sprang to memory and pushed me over th' edge, time and time again, I wasn't thinkin' about it. I didn't recall th' way he'd sucked that lolly pop into that sweet mouth, making me wish I could replace it with somethin' hard of my own... that tongue curled around th' head... uhm... I mean th' top of th' candy... as he just pulled it out of his mouth slowly... the way he licked his reddened lips after... th' boy had never looked sweeter... nope, I was not thinking about that at all. Wonder if th' bit has any more lolly pops?
Humans! They think demons don't have feelings because we're evil;. What about my Dru then? Bloodlust and family ties don't make ya stick together for a hundred years unless there's love. The boy would have a coronary if he knew th' truth. If only that come hither look were true, I'd chain the boy to a bed and shag him until he couldn't walk. He always smells so sweet... I should have taken him when th' bloody poof offered. But yesterday had been just another round of pokin' fun with chipped Big Bad. And I wasn't goin' to admit it hurt. Besides, the Big Bad doesn't cry. Ever! Just got somethin' in me eye, that's all.
By the time I made my grand entrance into th' shop, I'd decided to pass th' whole thing as a fluke. I never thought I'd see Xander Harris lying stretched out on top of th' research table, hands tucked under his head and shirt pulled up, showing off his navel and the delicate bronzed shin of his toned belly. I was NOT drooling! Really, I was not! And I was NOT tilting my head to follow that line of hair running from his belly button down into his skintight jeans. Oy! Skintight? Where were th' baggy pants th' whelp favored so much? And when did it get hot in here?
Somehow my jeans became a little tighter.... hmmm, 'm not really sure how that happened. So there I was, looking at Xander laid out like some virgin sacrifice. Just as I was going to let him know I was there and demand an explanation about what th' hell was going on, th' girls came in giggling and whispering. When I looked back, th' boy was sitting at the table with a book in front of him, looking at me all innocent, as if he'd been reading all along instead of displaying himself like an all-you-can-eat buffet to a starving vampire.
I glared at the whelp and marched towards him. As I was about to open my mouth to ask what game he was playing at, the slayer got between us and dragged him into th' back room away from me, all the while giggling and whispering in his ear. I strained to hear what she was whispering but since taking up this pig's blood diet, my senses have become duller. I'll have ta find a way to pilfer some pints of O neg at the blood bank soon or I'll become as numb as a soddin' human. Before he disappeared into th' back room, the whelp turned and looked at me with a very mischievous look in his eye.
When the slayer came back and sat at the research table, my Xanpet wasn't with her. Oy, when had th' boy become MY Xanpet? I've gotta talk ta Willie, that last batch of blood must have been mojoed, Well, anyway, I was going to get to the bottom of this right bloody NOW! So, I walked to the Slayer and was about to demand the whereabouts of the whelp when she turned to me with a wicked grin.
"Oh Spike, Xander had to leave for a while. He had to do something and asked if you wouldn't' mind giving him a hand, if you have the time that is. He also said to just go to his place and wait for him. He should be there soon," the Slayer said. She didn't wait for a reply; she just turned and started talking to her friends again as if I had already left. Red and Glinda smiled at me and even the Watcher was conspicuously silent about it all. What the bleedin' hell was goin' on? Well, I was going to find out and soon!
Shortly after, I found myself in front of my Xanpet's apartment, unsure about what I should do. Dusting some fledges on the way to th' apartment had taken care of th' overwhelming urge ta clobber th' boy on sight for playing with fire by taunting th' vampire. Th' whelp had more knackers than I'd given him credit for. But I'd realized the slayer and th' others were in cohorts with th' boy. What was Xanpet up to? He couldn't really be... and surely the slayer wouldn't approve of... nah, it was too good to hope for. But maybe...
The slayer had told me to go in and wait for th' boy but surely the door would be locked. And I hadn't been invited into the apartment by him, how did she expect me to handle that? Then I remembered the whelp saying something unexpected on patrol some weeks ago:
"Spike, you have an invite anytime you want."
Then he had laughed and walked away. I thought the whelp had taken one too many hits on his head that night and didn't think much of it at the time but now...
I enter the apartment while muttering about irresponsible human boys who don't have enough sense to lock their apartments and invite in bloodsucking vampires. I look around but it seems that my Xanpet hasn't arrived yet.
I begin making myself right at home when I suddenly hear a faint heartbeat. I inhale deeply, sensing the whelp nearby as I'm making my way towards a closed door, probably the master bedroom. I knock loudly, smirking when I hear his startled gasp and his heartbeat thumping faster.
"Hey, whelp! The Slayer said you needed my help with something. So here I am, what d'ya want? "
"Come on in, Spike. I've got a bit of a problem and I'm certain that you're the only one who can help me with it."
So, I open th' door and my senses are overwhelmed. There are candles lit scattered around th' bedroom and I recognize th' music playing in th' background.
Everyday brings change, and the world
puts on a new face
Suddenly things rearrange, and this whole
world seems like a new place
Secretly I been trailing you
Like a fox that prays on a rabbit
Had to get you and so I knew
I had to learn your ways and habits
My Xanpet is lying on a bed of red rose petals on black silk sheets in pretty much the same position he was on the research table earlier tonight, only now he's completely naked. I can smell his arousal and....blood? Oh, there's a mug of blood on the night table...human blood. My mouth starts watering at the combined scent.
I stand still in mild shock as my eyes trail up his body until they stop to watch his right hand. I'm mesmerized by it's movement, unable to pull my gaze away, while it strokes a hard cock in a languid rhythm. I can hear the slick sound of precum, I can almost taste it and I long to touch him. Meanwhile, the song goes on and these words catch my attention…
I had to lay such a tender trap
Hoping you might fall into it
So this was all a trap, was it? I hear my Xanpet chuckling and my eyes finally travel up his body and find those nummy chocolate brown eyes, glistening with mischief and love. It's a look that I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing. He asks me in a husky voice:
"Well, it took you long enough to get here, Spike. Wanna give me a hand with my....problem?"
I smirk and give th' boy my best leer. My Xanpet loves me and wants me to lend a hand, does he? I guess I'll have to do the gentlemanly thing and help him out....Well, I'll tell you more about it later. Right now, I have a boy to take care of and it looks likes it will be a long night. It's hard but someone’s got to do the dirty work.....
What's this whole world coming to
Things just ain't the same
Any time the hunter get captured
by the game
Ah yeah, yeah yeah, hey yeah