“Boys, this is very touching, and exactly what I expect from the both of you, but it’s also entirely unnecessary.”  Xander and Spike turned defensive glares on Patrick, convinced that the worse case scenario was always going to be the first option.  “You don’t honestly think we’d have come this far just to hurt either of you, or damage Spike?”

“I don’t know,” Xander snapped.  “We don’t know anything about anything here.”

“I’m not about to lose either of you.  Xander, nobody expects you to give Spike up.  Besides, we don’t want to give Spike up.  You’re not the only one who loves him.”

“Love William,” Spike sullenly interrupted.

“No.  Love Spike,” Patrick said firmly.

“I don’t belong here, the demon…”

“Made this possible.  You think we would reject the creature that kept William alive to face this moment, to give us this chance of happiness?  Xander owes his life to you.  We owe our future existence to you, and…”

“You don’t love me, Spike, the demon; you love what I’ve done, what I’m still doing for you.”

“And…” Patrick insistently continued, “we have come to love every aspect of you.  Fact over sentimentality?  You made us trust you, you gave us no option.  This isn’t about automatically accepting Xander’s choice of partner.  You’ve proved yourself worthy of my son time and again.  You’ve earned your place in our hearts and in our future.”

“Is it an insult to tell a demon that he’s a good, good man?” Beth asked lightly.

“How do I know…”

“Can we get back to the point?” Xander butted in.  “No splitting Spike from William, no chance of losing…”

“Don’t do this,” Moira said quietly, the first words she’d been able to speak during this emotional upheaval.  She crossed and slipped her arms around Spike; he automatically responded to hug her trembling form.  “If you can’t trust us this much then the rest…  It will be impossible to move forward.”

“I’m sorry,” Xander apologised.  “But you have to understand…”

“Believe me, we do understand.  There’s nothing you can tell us about loss.”

Rafe came and gently rubbed Moira’s shoulders, and she turned to cling to him and be coaxed away; he sat in his chair and drew her onto his lap and, as Xander and Spike watched, her breathing stopped and she shuddered into immobility.

“She okay?” Xander asked Patrick as a new hollowness bloomed in his chest.

“She will be.  We all will be.  When you’re sure.”

Beth fetched the book that she’d left propped against the leg of her chair.

“Take a look at this, Spike, maybe it will help to reassure you.”

“About being included, despite…”

“About where you have always fitted in.  Whatever name or label you choose to cling to, this is about you, the man, the…hybrid, standing here.  The whole you, the you we accept.  Instead of trying to tell us what we do or don’t feel, perhaps you should accept this man too.”

Chastened, Spike took the book into his hands, thumbs caressing the faded leather.

“It wouldn’t open.”

“It will now.”

“What is it?”

“Our history, what I was talking about and more.”

“And why would I find this more believable than you?”

“Because it’s in your handwriting.”

At a light touch from Spike the book’s clasps clicked open; Beth flipped back the cover and showed Spike the frontispiece: within its elaborate design was a list of family members, and Beth tapped on one name.

“‘William the scholar’,” Spike read aloud, “‘who records the truth’.”

Xander came to Spike’s shoulder to see for himself.

“That really is your handwriting.”  Spike nodded.  “How come we can make sense of this?  How come I can read a language I don’t know?”

Patrick chuckled to himself and, taking his wife’s hand, wandered off to give them a little time to think things over.

“‘John who knows and protects our law’,” Spike continued.  “‘Robert the mighty who will defend.  Alexander who is our centre, our heart and focus…’  Centre, heart and focus.”  Spike looked at Xander with a teasing smile.  “Demon magnet.  Perpetual demon magnet, and there’s why.”

Xander narrowed his eyes meanly at his partner and earned himself a swift kiss.

“‘Moira, Bethia, who are warmth and joy and belonging’,” Xander now read out.

“‘Pádraig, Hugh, the guardians of the clan who will preserve and cherish all’,” Spike finished.

Spike ran a finger over the ‘Hugh’, once, then again and again.

“We’re going to do this, right?” Xander said under his breath.  “You want to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Just for me?”

“I’d do it just for you, but no.”

“Even after…”

“I have to make a fuss, don’t I?”

Xander knew that, stifled any outward show of relief, and spent a few minutes in thought as he cuddled his book-engrossed partner.

“What did you see?  What was home?”

“It was…  Life.  Xander, it was…life.” Spike’s voice took on a dreamy quality that reflected the level of his distraction.  Xander quickly gave up hope of a more coherent answer, choosing instead to appreciate Spike’s obvious contentment.  “I can sense him.  Hugh.”

“Yeah?  D’you think I will?”

“I hope so.”

“When we’re done here, maybe.  ‘Cause…  Okay, we’re being told the truth, but…  They want us this much I don’t think I’d care if it were lies.”

Spike agreed with a preoccupied nod; Xander gave him a gentle squeeze and left him to his reading; he took in his surroundings, paying full attention now, recognising the symbols on his chair, knowing the texture of the matching standard without a single touch; excited by tantalising hints that he knew would be fully explored when he had his true memories.

Still looking, and he noticed Hamish sprawled between Patrick and Beth’s thrones, met the dog’s eyes and was greeted by the whap-whap-whapping of tail against wooden floor.  He realised now that he’d never questioned the wolfhound’s involvement, and shook his head at himself.  Child of the Hellmouth.

He studied his family and was…perturbed.  Moira, huddled in Rafe’s lap, being cuddled and hummed to; Patrick and Beth, heads bowed and whispering their way through an intense debate, always touching; himself and Spike, ready to die rather than be parted.  Jake.  Alone.  Back to them, twitchy and impatient for this to be done but no longer harassing Patrick; staring into the Wheel.  Jake.  Alone.

Xander crossed to his friend and immediately had his attention.

“Okay?” Jake asked, regarding Xander with eyes that were filled with scared-to-believe.

“I guess.  Spike has promised me I’ll wake up eventually.”

A smile twitched at Jake’s lips and disappeared.

“You want to?  Wake up from this?”

Xander considered.

“I’d like to find out I only dreamt my best friend asking my boyfriend to kill him.”

“You weren’t supposed to know.  I was so mad at Paddy, I couldn’t help the way it came out.  I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  I get it.  I trust Spike to make everything okay.”  They shared a smile.  “Actually…  Were you asking Spike or William?  ‘Cause I can’t imagine William…”

“Spike.  But Will would have found a way if he’d made the promise.  My Will not your Will, because my Will was a lot like your Spike.”

“You knew my Will?”  Jake’s face crumpled in pain and he turned to hide it; Xander could have kicked himself.  “That was stupid of me.  You knew them all, right?  Or nearly all?”  Jake nodded, jumping as Xander put a hand on his back and rubbed comfortingly.  “You going to be…”

“I just want to do this.  I don’t know why Pádraig isn’t…  No, I do know.  You have to be sure; he doesn’t want to rush you into anything you’ll regret later.”  He glanced at the outward signs of fervent conversation between Patrick and Beth.  “At least…”

“He seems confident about the time.”

“Yes, but—  He’s right,” Jake sighed.  “He’s right.”

“Before midnight?  By midnight?” Xander queried lightly as he looked at his watch.  Which had obviously stopped the moment he’d set foot in the attic.  “Like every clichéd B-movie we ever saw, huh?”

Jake turned fully back.

“You have any questions?  While there’s time?”

“Plenty.  Just don’t have a clue where to begin.”

“It is overwhelming.  I remember.”

“You do?  Even after…  How long?”

“Four centuries.  Give or take a decade.”  It finally struck Xander how many times Jake must have seen him – versions of him – die.  He shivered involuntarily and Jake practically read his mind.  “Won’t matter soon.”

“Can I state the obvious here in a bid to get away from the foot-in-mouth?”  Jake nodded.  “You’re English,” Xander grinned.

“Yes,” Jake smiled.  “As you were once.  And before that…”

“We were Scottish.  Damn, I wish I could do the accent.”

Jake chuckled, still nervously, still shooting anxious glances at Patrick, and Xander wished he’d relax a little, because what he really wanted to ask would be a trial for the calmest Jake.

“Hey, Jay…  Sorry, but I have to know…  If we do this now…does that mean you stay alone?”

“I won’t be alone, I’ll have my family.”

“That was too easy.”

“I’ve had a long time to think about the future, it’s become easy.”

“I don’t want…”

“We’ve talked about this, haven’t we?  The ‘happy people can be lonely, lonely people can be happy,’ debate.  No pretence from me, I promise.  When I’m down I’ll be around to make the biggest nuisance of myself.”

But Xander was already turning to Patrick.

“Pat.  If we do this now it means that Jake won’t ever have anyone, not in the way the rest of us do.”

“Xander, don’t even go there,” Jake warned.  “I didn’t find her when I was alive, so there isn’t a chance…”

“What if we wait another year?  You said the anniversary, so…”

“No!”

“In case…”

“Listen to me,” Jake snapped, grabbing Xander’s hands and pinching them hard enough to guarantee he had Xander’s full attention.

“Ow!  That’s not nice!” Xander protested.

“Yeah, you always said that, now listen…”  Xander heaved a resigned sigh and nodded.  “You don’t have to worry about me.  I’m used to the idea of being single.  The moment Spike showed up I knew it was too late for me, and I’ve had two years to come to terms with that.  I know my relationships can only ever be transitory, why do you think I only date women who can’t touch my heart?”

Xander looked positively crestfallen.

“Isn’t there some kind of chance?  Any kind of chance?”

“Hey, c’mon Lexy, we can’t be bothered with this.  Big picture?  It’s not worth the risk of losing you.  I can’t watch you die again.  You’re my brother, you were always my hero, I love you, I want you with us and safe and now.”

“My wife informs me…” Patrick intervened, “that she has a remedy for this situation.”

Moira perked up at those words, sending an expectant look in Beth’s direction.

“A remedy?  That you knew nothing of, Pádraig?”

“I apparently slept through every conversation we had on the matter,” Patrick explained wryly, “although I was somehow able to convey my approval.”

Beth beamed a happy, unapologetic smile before hurrying from the room, leaving a mix of confusion and anticipation in her wake.

“Do I have a say in this?” Jake asked plaintively.

“Naturally.”

“Because…because…”

Xander left Jake spluttering and crossed to Spike, who was reverently placing the book on a platform beneath the seat of his chair.

“You’re very quiet.”

“Am I?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“So?”

“You get quiet and I get suspicious.”

Spike gave a soft laugh, standing and sliding an arm around Xander’s waist.

“Wait until you start reading the Chronicles, you’ll be pretty much lost for words too.”

“Any more about…y’know…the grandfather?”

“Plenty, all the old tales and legends, and what a charmer he is.  You made the right decision to go with Pádraig.”

“He’s your grandfather too.  How do you feel about him?”

“He’s…  Just an utter git I have total contempt for.  If inclusion in this gives me a chance to piss him off, I’m happy.”

“Beyond the obvious: why the contempt?”

“I saw you walk into fire.  He controlled you and abused you.  I think he’s lucky to get away with contempt.”

Xander frowned at a thought and caught Patrick’s eye, beckoning him away from Jake.

“Pat, if this god is Spike’s grandfather too, why has He been trying to hurt him?”

“He isn’t Spike’s grandfather, He’s William’s.  With His mentality He wouldn’t be able to see any good in a demon, in fact He has a loathing for demons of any description.”  He rested a hand on Spike’s shoulder.  “This demon He sees as having…invaded William, defiled His own.”

“And you can’t explain to Him?”

“He isn’t much on intellect, He works on instinct.  The way He attempts to protect you from the demon is purely instinctive.”

“Did I come to you after Seattle?” Spike finally remembered to ask.

“Yes,” came the reply without hesitation.

“Was my presence enough to get me fried?  Or did we fight?”

“Not fight, but…  You were, understandably, very upset and angry.”

“So…?”

“You showed me your true face.  My father responded as He would to any threat.”

“I appeared to endanger you and He intervened to protect you.”

“His reaction to you wasn’t personal, it was as automatic as you or I brushing away a fly that lands on our hand.”

“Great,” Spike said ruefully.  “I suppose I’m the grandson affectionately known as endangered species.”  Patrick chuckled.  “Well, I’m hardly going to be a welcome addition to the family.”

“He has to accept that you and William are now one.  As we have accepted.”

“Did you resent me as much?  At first?” Spike added quickly, not particularly wanting to upset the entire group by resurrecting the earlier squabble.

“Never,” Patrick smiled affectionately, and Spike found that simple response far easier to believe than any considered protestation.

“Will He try and stop us doing this?” Xander asked.  “If Spike’s involved?”

“He can try,” Patrick replied with a comfortingly mad twinkle to his eye.

Past Patrick, Spike could see Moira trying to reason with Jake.

“You think it was fair of Beth?  To bring someone in for Jake without so much as a word?”

“No.  But I think she has it right.”

Patrick nodded in the direction of the door; Xander and Spike turned as one, dropped their jaws as one, exclaimed as one:

“Willow!”

“Hi,” their friend said nervously as Beth nudged her further into the room.

Xander hurried across to greet her properly with the usual hug.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

Spike was quick to follow.

“If you really don’t know what you’ve been brought into…”  Spike glared at Beth.  “I’m going to make your life hell, mum or not.”

“Mum,” Willow repeated with a giggle, and Spike turned the glare on her.  “I do know what’s happening,” she assured him, “but only since this afternoon, so when would we have had a chance to talk?  Beth asked me to come here because she had a proposition for me, and…  I got to ride in a helicopter,” Willow finished triumphantly.

“That was the deal?  You sold you soul for a helicopter ride?”

Willow regarded Spike with her tried and trusted enforced-patience-when-dealing-with-the-bleached-drama-queen look.

“I think that maybe…  I bought some peace with a leap of faith.”

A further hug for Xander, then Willow extricated herself, stalling only momentarily before going to where Jake had watched the interaction in stunned silence.

“Hey,” she said with a tentative smile.

“Willow,” Jake greeted her, only audible to the vampire.

“Shouldn’t I be the one looking terrified?”

“Umm…”  Jake took a deep breath, wanted out of the familial scrutiny.  “Can we…?”

He gestured to the far side of the hall.  With a nod Willow began to walk, taking a last glance at Xander and being reassured by his softest smile.

Xander watched them go and turned back to Beth.

“You’re taking quite a chance.  If Willow is in any way hurt by this…”

“I’ve known she was the one since that day at the hospital.”

“Which day?”

“You wouldn’t remember, lovely, you were still out cold.  But Willow and I had some time together, she shared some confidences, and…  I could see her future, and I could see nothing more than fear and loneliness.  Loss knows loss.  I knew then if I could do anything to save her from herself I would.”

“This is quite an anything.”

“When you say ‘the one’…?” Spike asked hopefully.

“Not from John’s first life, but the very best he’d find in this.  But who knows?  If he’d lived another week all those years ago…”

“Beth explained it all,” Willow told Jake as he drew breath to speak.

“I’m surprised she trusted you that much.”

“Are you really?”

All irresistible big-eyed concern, and Jake immediately wavered.

“No.”  They shared a smile.  “Why did you agree?”

“More than anything…  Xander.  I didn’t want to lose Xander again.  And this way I become more…connected to him.  Like the family we always should have been.”  Jake nodded his understanding of that; Willow cautiously took his hand and stroked the fingers.  “I always liked you.  And the others were so nice.  Beth talked about belonging, and the thought of having people around me that I wouldn’t be afraid to love, that I’d never lose…”

The familiar raw nerve was touched and Willow’s eyes filled with tears.  Jake wrapped her hand in both of his.

“You know if you join us in this, you’ll keep all the love, all the good memories and feelings from your past?”

“Yes.  And Beth promised me that I won’t forget the bad things that I need to remember.  But they’d be bearable.  At last.”

“That’s part of your reason too?”

“I can’t seem to move on alone.  I need help.  I think I need this.”

Despite his relief at the surety in Willow’s voice, Jake pressed on.

“You do understand the magnitude of it?  How it will affect you at the most basic level?  Like…children.  No children, ever, because our bodies won’t age, not even the nine months it would take to produce a baby.  Are you able to accept that?”

“Can I have a kitten?” Willow asked brightly, and Jake couldn’t suppress a laugh at the unexpected comment in the middle of such a serious conversation.  “Wasn’t anything I ever wanted,” Willow explained.  “Children, not the kitten.”

“You know that you don’t have to stay with me?  When I said about the children, I wasn’t assuming…y’know…us.  That’s an anybody, whoever you’re with thing.  We’ll need to be together for a few days for the bond – the family bond – to settle down and then you can do whatever you want to, it’s not like you’re trapped here.  But you’ll always have someone to – umm, that’d be a plural someone…”  He gestured to the group on the far side of the room.  “…to come home to.  Back to.  Here to.  But there doesn’t have to be an us, although I suppose Beth thought, wrongly, perhaps wrongly, doesn’t have to be wrongly…  I don’t expect anything.  Friendship, so I do expect something, but…friendship.”

Willow nodded sagely throughout the babble, playing with his fingers all the while.

“You like kittens?” she asked abruptly.

Jake took a deep, calming breath.

“I do,” he admitted earnestly.  “I like kittens.”

Meantime…

“Why is so much of this focused on Xander,” Spike was asking Patrick.  “If we’re all His family?”

“Because my father has given up on me His attention has switched to His next-closest kin: my first-born.  Xander.  That’s the simplest answer.”

“But not the only answer?”  Patrick paused awkwardly.  “Is this more about how we’ve screwed up?

“Not exactly.”

“How precisely not exactly?”

“I’ll explain later, I promise.”  Spike gave him a broadly sceptical look.  “I have nothing to hide from you now, Spike.  But some answers…need their moment.”

Spike relented.

“Tell me about him.  Xander, back then.”

It was virtually possible to see the memories flood through Patrick’s mind.

“Much as he is now.  Bright, charming, easy to love.  Except for all that time when you hated him, of course.”  He chuckled at Spike’s shocked expression.  “And he was always the stubborn one, obstinate and belligerent, always making things harder than they had to be.”

“He was his father’s son,” Moira’s voice came from behind Spike, and they stepped apart to include her.  “Strong and powerful and magnetic.”  Moira tucked her arm around Spike’s waist and leant against him, glancing up at him with a happy smile.  “You’ve got a good one there, Spike.  Not that I’m at all biased.”

Spike looked from Moira to Patrick to Moira to Patrick.

“Isn’t this odd?  You two starting out together, now you’re married to your brother’s wife, and you’re with your successor’s son.”

Patrick and Moira shared a surprised look and shrugged.

“Aren’t we talking about the average American family?” she giggled.

“It’s all down to the time it took to find and secure family members,” Patrick explained.  “I’d been alone for nigh on…fifty years when I found Beth, and although her inner spirit was the person who’d died on Sleat, this Beth was new, and different in many ways.  I didn’t even know it was her at first, but I felt so…drawn…”  The words trailed off into thoughts.

“The same story for you and Rob…Rafe?” Spike asked Moira.

“Yes.  So much time had passed between our deaths, my being secured, and then meeting him that, although I was attracted to one of our own, it wasn’t as if I was…was…”

“Perving?” Spike suggested with faux innocence.

“Perving,” Moira laughed, “on my nephew.  And just as Pat didn’t immediately realise he’d found Beth, I didn’t know it was Robbie.”

“Me and Xander…  I wish I’d know.  We’d known.  I don’t mean the time together in Sunnydale, but those five years we lost…”

“Necessary,” Patrick said resolutely.  “A reflection of the past, you had to go through that separation.”

“You told me once…  Is that what you meant when you said that five years…”

“Weren’t much to pay for the rest of your life.  Yes.”

“Smartarse,” Spike amiably observed.

Xander’s hand slipped into Spike’s as he joined them, and Rafe’s arm slid around his wife’s shoulders.  A thrum of energy passed over and through them, a hint of how powerful their connection would be when the belonging was fully explored and sealed in the forthcoming ceremony.  Beth felt it and managed to drag herself away from where she was unsuccessfully attempting a little surreptitiousness in her avid watching of Jake and Willow.  She’d evidently gleaned enough from her spying to be sure of the outcome, and triumphantly threw her arms around her husband.

“Could we have brought other people in?”  Patrick and Beth looked questioningly at Xander.  “Our whole family?  If we’d known, could we have had Buffy and Dawn with us?”

“No,” Patrick said gently.  “What we’re doing now is enough of a risk.”

“What kind of risk?  Is Willow…”

“She’s perfectly safe, Xander.  It’s Spike we have to consider.  Adding Buffy and, or Dawn would have meant two other – and please excuse the term – unnatural components.  Neither are purely human in origin.”

Xander unconsciously edged closer to Spike.

“Is there a chance the demon will be damaged?  In the middle of this, is my grandfather going to have the opportunity to destroy the…the fly on His hand?”

“I’m not afraid of…”

“Shut up, Spike, maybe you’re not afraid of Him, but I am.”

Spike growled under his breath.

“You had better manners before you were the grandson of a god, y’know.”

“Spike, this is…”

“What is going to happen…” Patrick began, enough authority in his voice to momentarily quieten Xander.  “Is the incorporation of everyone’s frailties and strengths.  Despite the fact she is a powerful Wicca, as non-family, Willow’s presence will weaken us for a year or so, but because none of you know exactly how you should have been, the effect will be negligible.”

“A dose of neat demon in the mix…” Spike said thoughtfully.  “What vampire qualities are we talking about passing on?”

“What indeed.  It could be enhancements: strength, speed…”

“Or you might all end up with a craving for human blood,” Spike finished dryly.  “Not that I wouldn’t appreciate some company on the hunt.”

“And what about Spike?” Xander demanded.  “What will this do to him?”

“He may experience greater changes than us.  He may experience none.  We may all come out of this exactly as we went in.”

“God, I really hate the whole ‘time will tell’ thing!”

“We’ll be together, love.  And you’ll be safe.”

“But…”

“How about you let me decide about me?  Worry about yourself.  This time tomorrow you may not be able to clean your teeth without sawing through your brush.”

The prospect was almost enough to shut Xander up.  Almost.

“Fangs?”

“Fangs sound cool,” Moira grinned.

“Yeah, and it also sounds like I’ve had my last blow job,” Rafe laughed.  Moira slapped him on the chest but it didn’t stop the giggles from the both of them.

“Hey, guys, seriously?”

“Okay, seriously,” Rafe sighed.  “Lexy…  What can we do?  We just have to accept the possibilities.”  His hand left Moira’s shoulder to affectionately stroke the back of Spike’s head.  “We’re all willing to take a chance.  Pull yourself together and appreciate that, huh?”

“I know, I know, it’s just…”

“Don’t be scared, sweetie,” Moira told Xander, and as their eyes met the connection slammed home once more; the child’s inherent trust in his mother prevailed and Xander willingly let the edge be taken off his fears.

Patrick drew away from the group, stopping in close proximity to the Wheel but taking care not to touch its edge.

“Come along.  We’re approaching the time.”

He held out his hands and Beth automatically crossed and took the left, Moira moved to hold the right.  Now Moira raised her free hand.

“Alexander.”

“This is it?” Xander asked with a dry swallow.

“Not quite,” Patrick explained.  “This is about making sure everyone is strong enough to enter the Wheel.  Stabilising our bond.”

“Okay.”

With a nervous glance at Spike, Xander took his place; Rafe went automatically to Beth, beckoning for Spike to follow.

“John,” Patrick called.

As soon as he saw what was happening, Jake practically flew across the floor, Willow in tow; Xander’s hand was instantly and wholeheartedly grasped.  The only break was between Spike and Willow and their hands began to come together.

“Wait!” burst out of Xander, and everyone looked to him; he, in turn, was looking at his oldest friend.  “Willow.  I really want you as part of this, but…  Are you sure?  You know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“I probably understand more about this than you do.”

“I think that goes without saying.”

Willow took her time looking around the circle, the kindly faces that welcomed her, the warm longing they inspired in her.  Lastly her gaze fixed on Spike, so close, his hand offered and waiting for hers.

“You’re certain?” she whispered, knowing that this suspicious vampire’s word was something she could undoubtedly rely upon.

“I am.”

With a smile that she shared amongst the group, a smile that lingered on Xander, she waved her hand for a moment, joking…  “Sweaty palm.”  …before very deliberately completing the circle.

Xander tensed and glanced upwards, anticipating the usual show of rowdy petulance from his grandfather, but he felt Moira squeeze his hand and looked down to see her shaking her head.  Unsure of whether he could speak or not, he kept quiet, watched Patrick, whose face was screwed-up in either thought or concentration.  Other than himself and Spike, everyone appeared quite relaxed, and even Spike only seemed curious about what to expect.

Then it was amongst them: a stream of white light so brilliant that eyes were forced to close despite the desire to see the phenomenon; it twisted around each person individually, leaving the recipient of its attention juddering with a combination of the energy that was being eased into their body and raw emotion; whatever this entity was it had been around since the beginning, it knew them, had shared their lives, and now left exhilarating glimpses of past moments when there had been incalculable joy.

When everybody had been attended to, the light faded a little, leisurely winding in and out of the family members.

“You can look now,” Beth whispered, and all around the circle eyes cautiously opened, the owners rapidly transfixed and murmuring in awe of the spectacle.

Deep, shuddering breaths caught Xander’s attention, and he followed the sound to Patrick, who was battling to keep his emotions in check.

“Tell me,” Xander said softly.

Patrick offered Xander a weak smile as he vainly attempted to blink away the tears in his eyes.

“I haven’t felt her since Sleat.”

“Who is it?”

“My mother.  And this is her sacrifice for us.  Her final stand against Him.”

Not only a grandfather but a grandmother; Xander hadn’t even considered that possibility until now, and an unexpected rush of affection filled him.  Xander supposed…  No, Xander knew that she was a god too, and her actions conveyed exactly how desperate was the need for her family to shake off Him.  Not to be taken lightly, the death of a god, and she was prepared to relinquish her immortality, her very existence, for them. 

With that moving knowledge Xander let himself wallow in what he was being offered, no longer afraid, resistance that he hadn’t been aware of finally dispersing.  It was what the entity had been waiting for, and it spun around the entire group, faster and faster, once again too bright to view, drawing together minds and hearts until all sense of individuality was lost, and the only consciousness was the family.

Within this vortex Xander saw glimpses of his first life, much as Spike had seen earlier, the reality behind the dreams, behind the madness that had been his need to return to the past to put the present right.

The last time he had truly lived.

They had all lived.

Strength in unity.  They were united and strong enough to face a god.  As the family knew, the mother, grandmother knew; they felt a raw, primal reaction, about revenge and satisfaction and obsessive love that would triumph, and seconds later the light divided and burrowed into the members of the circle.

It took Xander a while to realise this stage was done; he wasn’t sure where his brain had been, but it recovered, and he discovered he was tingling with the energy, juddering with the amount of, and generally feeling as if he could leap tall buildings in a single bound.

“Lovely,” was crooned into his ear, and he smiled as he opened his eyes to see Spike, amazed that the vampire wasn’t glowing or sparkling or projecting some other special effect, because where he’d rested his hands on Xander’s hips there was heat and pulsing and most definitely sparkage.

“Hey,” Xander whispered back, and the word vibrated inside his head and through his chest.  “Wow.”

He gasped as he felt Spike’s love and concern for him, similar to their experience on the road when he’d known Spike was alive, but so much stronger it was like being Spike, being inside Spike, being his emotional heart.  “Wow,” again, and he had to touch, moving slowly to put his arms around his lover, almost passing out with the influx of possessive and desirous emotions as Spike made the move faster, tugging Xander close and holding him tightly.

“Can you feel me?” Xander asked, hazily undecided on whether the words had come from his mouth or his mind.

“I feel you,” Spike replied in kind.  “You love me.  So much.  I never imagined so much.”

“And there’s…”

Xander stopped to consider what else was seeping into him, swiftly understanding that it was the similar emotions of the rest of the family, that they were all somehow joined.  As he understood, Spike understood, and they looked around to find that everybody was in a similar clinch with their partner, even Willow and Jake; Xander couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for Jake to do this alone, and at that moment loved Willow quite ferociously for her bravery.  She felt it, and looked over with a watery smile.

They all gradually broke out of their immediate couples, staring around in similar astonishment; Xander wondered why, but Spike remembered this was the only time they’d progressed so far therefore it was entirely new to them, and if Spike remembered, Xander knew.

Patrick, understandably traumatised by the sacrifice of his mother, took himself away into the darkness at the furthest part of the hall, but there was little privacy to be found when they were all so acutely aware of the others’ feelings, so the entire family accepted his mourning and anger: mourning that drove them all back into the arms of their immediate loved one for comfort, anger that left everyone in the room shaking and fearful of the possible repercussions.

For Xander the train of thought was inevitable.  The loss of a parent.  Parents.

Anger.  Repercussions.  Repercussions and…revenge?

Beth moved from couple to couple, fussing and reassuring, and when she arrived at Xander and Spike, Xander took her hand and attempted to speak confidentially.

“Can I get a straight answer?”

“Of course,”

“Did…  Did Patrick somehow kill my parents?”

“No.”

“I’ve just felt—”  At a prod from Spike, Xander’s rising voice was lowered once more, despite everyone knowing everything.  “It was a coincidence?  You expect me to believe…”

“It was your grandfather.  But…”  Beth hesitated, glanced in Patrick’s direction.

“I’m sorry it hurt you,” Patrick’s voice emerged from the shadows, reverberated inside Xander’s mind.  “It was my response to their treatment of you that instigated His actions.”

“Just tell me it wasn’t directly you, Pat, I need to know that.”

Slow footsteps on the wooden floor and Patrick emerged, red-eyed and resolute.

“Not directly me.  Although, I’ll be honest with you: I would have willingly killed them for what they put you through.”

“Without a second thought; without a single regret,” Spike added, and that could have been either of them speaking.

“But you didn’t.”

“It was my father.”

Xander felt his own anger then, felt a washback of concern as the extent of it was experienced throughout the group, thought about his grandfather…  Fuck him fuck him fuck him  …and let out a sound of alarmed disgust as that knot of darkness within him throbbed; above them came the teeth-jarring noise of godly nails being scraped over a cosmic blackboard.

Spike jumped back from the heat suddenly exuding from his partner, more cautious than ever now he knew of the god’s distaste for all things demonic, and he barely recognised his Xander in the look that was turned on him.  The air over the Wheel trembled and Spike’s pessimistic expectations were fulfilled as weakness overcame the majority of the room’s inhabitants.  Xander’s hands began to rise, and Spike knew this was it, that he was the target of the god’s last ditch attempt to disrupt the ceremony.  No Spike meant no William meant no family.

“Don’t do this,” he pleaded with William’s voice and manner.  “Destroy me and you will destroy Xander.”

Incomprehensible words spat forth from Xander’s mouth, and the energy steadily built around his body as it was sucked from those who needed it to survive.

“Abhorrent…degenerate…defiling…mine…” the thing invading Xander ground out, right hand slowly, deliberately forming a fist; Spike grimaced in pain, inner pain, as though his demon was being crushed and mangled.  As the vampire’s legs gave out and he fell to the floor in agony, Xander smiled.  “You will be…consumed.”

A lethal ball of fire ignited in the open palm, and the sneering contempt on Xander’s face turned to surprise as the flames were extinguished with a pitiful whiffing sound.

“I don’t think so, mister,” Willow told him, striding to stand between Xander and Spike, eyes morphing from green to black, determinedly staring this other Xander down.  “You’re about to discover you seriously underrated the in-laws!”

The being that possessed Xander seethed; Willow glowered.  Power butted power in a raucous display of flashing gold and blue, as the god once again encountered the unknown and misjudged, this potent witch a further unforeseen factor that had been introduced to the equation.  Power butted power.  Stand-off.  Time trickled away; this could literally be the death of them.

“Xander.”  At the very edge of hearing, but Xander twitched at the sound of Moira’s frail voice.  “Alexander.  Come to Mumma.”

A moment of internal struggle was enough to lessen the god’s hold and, fortified by the energy his grandmother had imbued him with, Xander fought back against this possession, hearing and struggling to return to the comfort that voice – familiar on the most fundamental level – offered.  Impossible for a loveless entity to challenge the desire of a man who was suddenly overwhelmed with memories of days as a happy tot, scampering in warm grass, running into welcoming arms and merrily yelling for Mumma, Mumma, Mumma…

The hold broke; the room shook, ward protested, Wheel belched power that restored the attic’s occupants.  Xander liquidly collapsed onto his knees and sat back on his heels, head lolling forward, hands motionless on his thighs.  Still smarting from the torture of his demon, Spike gingerly crawled to Xander, lifting his head and peering worriedly into the half-lidded eyes.

“Xander?” he said as he stroked his thumbs over flushed cheeks.

Nothing, until Moira moved behind her son and bent to wrap her arms around him, patting his chest in what evidently was, for her, a well-used gesture.

“Always such a good boy,” she whispered into his ear, and an emotional creak escaped Xander’s throat as he leant back into her embrace.

Spike found himself the subject of similar attention when Beth knelt by him; contentment rippled through and over them and the group sighed a collective sigh.

Jake crossed to Willow; they exchanged an awkward smile.

“Not what you expected,” Willow wryly made the observation for him.

“I knew you had the ability, but…”

“You knew?”  Jake nodded.  “You never said.”

“It isn’t something you drop into a conversation with someone you barely know.  Hi, I’m Jake, nice phenomenal power you have there.”

“I barely know you,” Willow repeated as if it was the most extraordinary revelation.

“I have to be honest with you…  I don’t like magic, I don’t trust it.”

“The secret is to trust the person behind the magic.”

“My prejudices aren’t a reflection on you, I promise.  But I thought you should know.  If we’re going to be…friends.”

“Friends, yes,” Willow said distantly, reaching for Jake’s hand without a second thought and going back to playing with his fingers.

“I wanted us to have time to establish a firm bond before we started, but we have to do this now,” Patrick told them as he went from person to person to check their condition.  “I knew Xander was susceptible, but not to such an extent.”

“The ward’s breaking down,” Beth reminded him.  “He was bound to take advantage.”

“He’s in me,” Xander said hoarsely.  “He’s in me and it’s…it’s…”  There was no way to verbally convey the level of disgust and horror he felt at this invasion of his person, but at present words were not necessary; they all felt the taint and were sickened.  “I want Him out.  Can you get Him out?”

“You’ll be free of Him,” Patrick responded grimly, his own potent revulsion mingling with Xander’s in the bond and spreading.

“Paddy…”  Patrick looked enquiringly at Jake.  “Beautiful thoughts, eh?”

At the timely reminder, self-control was swiftly re-established and the atmosphere tangibly improved.

With encouragement from the women, Xander and Spike rose, Xander keeping a firm hold of his partner’s hand.

“Coping, love?” Spike whispered.

“No,” Xander answered with bald honesty.

“I don’t think we can stop this.”

“Don’t want to stop, just want it over.”

“Okay…  What’s to tell…”  Patrick muttered to himself before addressing the group.  “Once we’re in the Wheel there will be forces at work around you that will be disconcerting, frightening even; you’ll feel as if…as if…you’re losing yourself, physically, but it’s only an illusion, keep telling yourself that.  Even if you don’t need to breathe you’ll be alarmed by the apparent inability to do so, but once again: illusion.  Here, in this room, you never become less than real, your bodies remain perfectly healthy.  We’ll all be in contact, we’ll all be safe.  Try not to let go.”

“What happens if we do let go?”  Xander asked.  “Accidentally.”

“You’ll get the impression of being swept away into nothing, and that would be terrifying, but if it happens keep concentrating on the bond we have, the rest of us will find you.”

Xander accepted that with a nervous nod.

“I’ll be holding onto you,” Jake reassured him.  “I won’t let go.”

“Neither will I,” Spike promised.

“Spike, you won’t be able to touch Xander.”

“No!”

“Yes,” Patrick told him firmly.  “Don’t be difficult, this is non-negotiable.”

“But…!”

“You have to do as you’re told.  You have to.”

“Yes, daddy,” came the heavily sarcastic reply.

Patrick started to speak, hesitated, looked at Spike with undisguised amusement.

“You’re so like Will,” he chuckled.

“Tough,” Spike growled.

“It was a compliment.”

Spike begrudgingly accepted that, but the being apart from Xander for the main showdown was harder to accept.  A glance at Xander showed that the negative feelings were finding their way to the already anxious human, and Spike had to force himself to buck up.

“We’re connected, all of us,” Beth reminded him.  “In the sense of being there for Xander, it doesn’t matter who’s where.”

“Yeah, I understand that.  I’m okay,” Spike too easily acquiesced with a smile for Xander.

“You’re not fooling anyone,” was muttered teasingly into his ear as Xander leant forward to press a kiss to his cheek.  “But thank you.”

Spike pulled Xander into an embrace and that’s how they remained as Patrick continued with his warnings.

“It’s very possible that some of this could hurt…”

“What did I tell you?”  Spike to Xander.

“…or maybe it won’t.  Depends how vindictive He’s feeling.”

“Big pain then, big, big pain.”  Xander to Spike.

“But nothing we can’t withstand now we’re together.  Umm…”

“Physical effects,” Beth prompted.

“Yes.  By the time we eventually leave the Wheel your bodies will have been restored to their natural state at the time of your original deaths; you won’t have the wounds, but the scars will be fresh, and a little uncomfortable, but they’ll heal and fade to nothing very quickly.  Don’t worry, Spike, the restoration can’t affect the demon, you won’t suddenly find yourself human.”  Pause; deep breath.  “What will be harder to cope with will be the returning memories.  We can help one another, but…  They’ll be very real, feel very recent, and sometimes be difficult to cope with.”  Willow cautiously raised a hand.  “Yes?”

“Doesn’t everyone but Xander and Spike already have their memories?”

“Only Jake has them all, which is why it’s been so hard for him.  Everyone else has been protected to some degree, even Beth.”

“How did you do that?” Xander asked.  “Stop us remembering.  And why?  Was it all about protection?  I get me and Spike, but Angel?”

“How?  Controlling memory is as simple as blocking electrical impulses.”

“And, yeah, we do that all the time,” Xander retorted sarcastically.  “Simple, Pat?”

“Okay, I see your point.  Simple when it’s so automatic you don’t even think about it, just home in and…  It becomes second nature when it’s about safety.  Sanity.  It’s been about your safety, the two of you, and about the safety of those you care for.”

“We’re back to Granddad annihilating the demons,” Spike said thoughtfully.  “If Angel had figured too much out, made himself known…”

“Precisely.  My father would have had no compunction about destroying either you or Angelus if you had so much as uttered His name.”

“The fact my senses have been so dull…?”

“More of the same.  I’m sorry, Spike, genuinely sorry that you had to suffer.”

“Wasn’t suffering so much, just bloody frustrating.”

“Is that – the dull senses – why Spike didn’t freak out when you came near him?  ‘Cause we saw those other vamps scatter when you drove—  Wow, I only just remembered that.”

Patrick was already nodding.

“As I said.  It was all about protection, of one sort or another.”

“Let me feel what it would be like,” Spike urged.

“You’ll know soon enough.”  Patrick nodded at the Wheel.  “I can’t protect you from that particular effect in there, but it shouldn’t last long.”

Xander was already drawing breath to register his concern but Spike shut him up with a look.

“Right, let me get this straight.  We go in, steal his power…”

“We’re not stealing anything, Spike, we’re taking what’s due to us: the power that was ripped from me when I was made human; Hugh’s power, which is owed to his family.  It’s reclamation not theft.  We’re taking back our life and our time.”

“How do we take it?” Xander asked, wary after the supernatural battles of the past.

“We ask,” Patrick said simply.

“Uh-huh,” Spike said flatly, before turning back to Xander with a roll of the eyes.

“We’ve fulfilled all of his demands.  As incredible as it sounds, and despite what he’ll put us through to scare us off, he’s bound by his own word.  We present a united front, we ask, he’s obliged to give.”

“But what if…”

With a groan that was definitely house not ward, the entire room shook.  From the foot of Patrick’s throne, Hamish gave a low, sullen growl.

“We’re out of time,” Patrick said sharply, stepping up to the Wheel.  “I go in first, take the centre,” he explained quickly.  “Moira and Beth go to my right and left.  Boys, eldest to your mother’s right, youngest to her left.  Willow, you stand with Jake, hold onto him, he’ll keep you safe.”

The anxiety level in the room soared as Patrick stepped up to the Wheel’s perimeter; he reached out and Beth was instantly at his side, turning his head with a finger on his chin and giving him a tender kiss.

“I love you, Pádraig.”

The words triggered an emotional response that swept through everyone, diluting the anxiety.  Xander couldn’t help rushing over and seizing Patrick’s – his father’s – hand, fearful of losing what he’d only just been given.

“And I love you.  I love all of you.  Know that.”

Beth and Xander reluctantly stood aside, and Patrick stepped into the carving, taking his place on the central spiral; a spine-tingling sound like hundreds of groaning voices greeted him, coaxing a shudder from everyone who heard.

“Don’t be frightened,” Beth said as she walked the Wheel’s perimeter.  “They’re ghosts, the ghosts of our clan, tied to us through the years and longing for the freedom this will bring them.”

Moira kissed and hugged her husband before moving to face Beth across the circle.  As one they stepped inside, onto the spirals in the outer ring of six that were at Patrick’s immediate right and left.  More groans and wails, growing in volume, greeted their arrival.

“Oh, fuck,” Xander swore before throwing his arms around Spike for what felt like a last goodbye, kissing him passionately and having that passion reciprocated in actions and pulsing through the bond.

They parted to allow Willow into the embrace, and she was soon reminding them that they had to enter the Wheel, apparently suffering no apprehension at all and giving Xander courage; Jake and Rafe joined them, and after a last hug they approached the Wheel with hope and fear, Xander and Spike relieved when they found that they were actually beside one another after all, even if their contact during the ceremony wouldn’t be physical.  As Xander moved they all moved, joining the family elders inside the Wheel, fighting the momentary shock as it seemed the oxygen and heat were sucked from their bodies, daunted by the howls and pleadings of the dead that now seemed to swirl about them, raising goosebumps where the spirits brushed over skin.

“Breathe,” Patrick reminded them before lifting his arms out to his sides, hands palms up.  Beth and Moira placed their hands over Patrick’s, right and left respectively, palms down.  “By age, boys,” came the instruction, and although Xander, Spike and Rafe didn’t know the exact order, it came instinctively.

Alexander.  Robert.  William.  John.

Willow shared the spiral Jake stood on, wrapping her arms around his waist, feeling quite secure as he held her as tightly back with his left arm.  Xander couldn’t see her very well, and that worried greatly him for the few seconds before he thought to exploit the bond.  With a little concentration he could feel her soothing presence, and he happily clung to that.

The voices filling the air around them gasped and sighed, a sweeter sound that echoed and rang and stirred the hope into determination.

Xander’s hand rested over Moira’s; Jake, instead of simply laying his hand flat as the others had, curled fingers and thumb around Xander’s in a firm grip.

“Won’t let go,” he murmured the promise, possibly to Xander, possibly to himself.

“Hey,” Xander caught Jake’s attention, wanting to take that frown off his face.  “I’m your hero?”

Jake blinked, swallowed hard, swallowed down the emotions that threatened to erupt after being battened down for centuries.

“Well, you used to be.  You’ve let yourself go a bit.”

With a smile Xander turned to Spike, who was staring at where his own hand lay over Rafe’s.

“I have a terrible feeling that this is real,” Xander confided, and Spike gave him a tense smile.

“The crazy stuff we get ourselves into, eh?”

“Then this is real?”

“Nah, don’t worry, love.  You’ll wake up soon.  Safe and sound.”

They felt the energy that Patrick’s mother had bestowed stir within them, and all attention switched instantly to Patrick as his head tilted back and his eyes focused beyond the attic ceiling, narrowing in contempt as he found what – who – he was searching for, and all his hatred surged, condensed into one word: his father’s name.

“Taranis.”

The cue for all hell to break loose and, in its midst, a fleeting reference gave Xander the answer to yet another riddle.  He understood what this moment was.

Repossession.

Repossession 117       Repossession Index       Repossession Notes

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