Xander was surprised at quite how calm Spike was on the Saturday, but not as surprised as Spike himself.  The vampire supposed it was because of the support he received from his partner, not willing to probe too deeply into undercurrents that set his numbed instincts thrumming.  He knew, for instance, that providing Patrick and Beth arrived before the others he would feel relatively safe.  Yes, safe.  That simple, that emotive.  He’d figured that Beth was as big a part of the Patrick mystery as the man himself, and her voice told him that she had been around for a lot longer than the forty years Xander had suggested with a shrug when asked to estimate her age.

As Spike went through leisurely preparations for the meal Xander fretted and got underfoot until Spike could bear it no longer.

“Look, love, you need to get your arse in gear and do something.”

“What?  What do you want me to do?”

“Stop faffing around and be useful.”

“What?  Tell me what?  Make it simple so I can understand first time because I’ve had way too much caffeine to concentrate.  You want me to peel something or open things?  I think I have the superhuman speed/ strength thing happening today.”

Spike laughed and picked up a pen, writing on the back of Xander’s hand: Arrange dining room/set table.  Kiss boyf.  Collect chocolate.  Kiss boyf.  Pick clothes out for i) Xander, ii) Spike.  Kiss boyf.

“There.  All requiring superhuman abilities.  Just use your powers for good, eh?”

Xander read his hand and nodded.

“Something missing.”

“Didn’t I write down the de-tox programme?”  Xander grabbed Spike and trapped him against the counter, kissing him passionately as his hands roamed, enjoying the freedom to explore offered by the sweatpants Spike was wearing rather than the oppressively tight jeans which proved to be the bane of Xander’s life.  “Groping?  Not on the list.”

“Oh, you feel good.”

“Didn’t we do this already?”

“That was ages ago.”

“Of course it was, and you’re still on four-hourly fucks.”

“Mmm.  Can we?  You wanna fuck, Spike?”

“Ye…  What am I saying?  No!”

“Sweetheart…”

“No.”

“But you’re hard for me.”

“I’m always…”

“I love it when you’re hard for me.  Don’t want to waste it.”

“How about I remind you of this at four in the morning when you’re trying to sleep and I’ve got a raging hard-on?”

“Oh, yeah,” Xander breathed as he brushed the gold chain aside and gnawed at his mark on Spike’s neck, causing the vampire to gasp and shiver.

“Not fair.”

“What if I demand claimant’s rights?”

“Fucking hell, all right!  Get upstairs and make it quick.”

“Did that work?”

“What?”

“Claimant’s rights?”

“Of course it did.”

“Oh,” Xander said, a little shocked, taking half-a-step backwards.  “I didn’t mean you had to.  I was teasing.”

“You wouldn’t be forcing me.”

“It’s not right, though.  Sorry.”

“But I like it.”

“You like it?”

“Yeah.  You demanding to have me.”

“It’s not right.”

“Want me that much, Xander,” Spike said very seriously.  “Please.  Want me that much.”

Xander considered, and a slow smile formed on his face.

“I do.  Always.  But you’re right, there’s no time now.  We’ll just have to…think about it.”

“Think about it,” Spike repeated slowly.  “You mean it’s going to be an entire evening of those looks you give me when you’re…thinking.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Those looks drive me crazy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’ve never met anyone else who could fuck me with a look.”

“Just as well.  Otherwise I might have to kill them,” Xander whispered before laying a single kiss on Spike’s smooth cheek and backing off.  He checked his hand.  “Dining room.  Okay.  I’ll be…thinking of you.”

Spike watched him go before staring down at the tented front of the sweat pants.

“Oh…fuck.”

…

Ring at the doorbell and Spike’s knees almost gave out.  Choosing to sit before he fell, he perched on the edge of the bed and attempted to button his cuffs with trembling hands.  I can manage tonight, it was my stupid idea.  I can do this.  Nothing to be afraid of, Xander’s right here with me.  I can do this.  I like Patrick, I…  Bugger me, I do like him, despite the…whatever.  Stupid fucking idea, why didn’t I let Xander talk me out of it?  He’d have done it so beautifully, left me believing it wasn’t because I was a coward, but because he’d gone off…  Bloody soddin’ buttons, shouldn’t have worn this.  Shouldn’t have let Xander pick.  Wants me to look classy and won’t be told you can’t polish a turd.  I can do this, I will do this.  Tonight.  Few hours is all.  Do this for Xander.  I can do this.  Humans.  But only maybe, and only some.  And that makes it easier?  Shaking.  Fucking maybe, would-be humans and the Big Bad is shaking.  I can feel the scars today.  Scars that aren’t there any more and I can feel them.  Should’ve let Xander fuck me.  He’d have noticed scars.  Told me.  Can’t have humans here if you have scars.  Oh, fucking hell.  Fucking hell.  Let me do this for Xander, he deserves better, let me be good for him, let me be worthy in the smallest way.  Let me get it right for him.  I can do this.  Shit and damnation, I can’t do this.

“Hey.  You ready?”

From the bedroom doorway Xander took a look and a second look.

“What?”  Spike nervously smoothed his hands over the silky blue shirt Xander had picked out for him.  “Am I all right?”

“More than.”

Spike met the gorgeous smile with one of his own.  I.  Can’t.  Do.  This.

“Then I’m ready.  Bring ‘em on.”

…

Patrick handed over half-a-case of wine, Beth brought dessert, as promised.  She followed Spike into the kitchen and found a gap in the refrigerator for the covered platter; luckily the blood was tucked away in the cooler, but it wouldn’t have made much odds.  As they found themselves privately eye-to-eye for the first time Spike suspected that Beth sensed, and Beth sensed that Spike had suspicions.

“Well, is there anything I can help with?” she asked brightly, Scottish accent barely watered down by American.

“Umm…” Spike apparently thought hard.  “Yeah.  Bleach the roots or grow it out?”

Beth laughed, enticed close enough for Spike to scent without being obvious.  Nothing recognisably demonic beneath the light perfume.

“Let me see.”  Spike bowed his head, breathing deeply as he did so.  “The natural colour’s nice.  But the white blond is quite a look.  What does Alex think?”

“Oh, y’know.  That I’m fabulous whatever.”

“They can be so bloody annoying, can’t they?”

“Mmm.”

“It’s easy to get stuck in time though.  If it were practical I’d still be wearing mine to my waist.”

Spike cocked his head and studied her, imagining the blazing red hair long and braided.

“I can see you as the traditional bonnie Scottish lassie,” Spike fell into her accent, earning himself another blinding smile.  He reverted to mockney.  “Been here long?”

“Long enough,” Beth sighed.  “We’re a fair way from home, Spike.”

“Life in the Colonies has its advantages.”

“Yes.  Alex is very special: you’re a lucky man.”  She peered through the glass door of the main oven.  “What did you decide on?”

“After what you told me I thought shrimp, lobster, scallops…”

“You want poor Rafe to explode?”

“Cheaper than fireworks, innit?”

They were still giggling when Xander arrived to open the wine.  He gave Beth a quick smile then looked to Spike.

“Okay?”

“Fine.”

A knock at the door and Xander left the wine to go and answer it.  Beth noticed that Spike had tensed and moved a little closer to him.

“It’ll be Jake.  You met him, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, he seemed harmless enough.”  Spike realised what he’d admitted and pointlessly corrected it.  “Nice enough.”

“Still worried about Rafe?”

“No.  Maybe.”

“Just remember, although he’s a large man, and he is large, he’s also kind and thoughtful and very gentle.”

“Nothing to worry about then,” Spike said guardedly.

“Nothing to worry about.”

“Unless we suddenly find the latent homophobe who objects to Xander screwing around with…”

“That isn’t going to happen.  Not here, not with us.”

“No?  Then we’ve been too bloody lucky and something else will go arse-over-tit any time now.”

“He’d also have to get past Alex.  I don’t see anyone getting past Alex to hurt you.”

Spike poured the wine and gave Beth a glass, then everyone was trooping into the kitchen and he was re-introduced to Jake, introduced to the on-off girlfriend, Josie, finding himself unimpressed and irritated by the obvious attraction in her eyes when she focused on him.  The look didn’t get past Xander, who flashed Spike a knowing glance and watched as the vampire used the distribution of drinks to get away from the unwelcome interest.

“Someone’s still got it,” Xander murmured to him as their guests drifted off toward the living room.

“Never thought I’d hear me say this but someone doesn’t want it.”

“It’s your own fault: being gorgeous and enigmatic and desirable without making any effort at all.  Kind of explains why I never had any luck when we went out together.  Look at the competition.”

“You never had any luck because I saw all the birds off, mate.  Told ‘em you were with me.”

“You…!”

“Didn’t I ever mention it?” Spike asked innocently.

Another knock at the door saved Spike from Xander’s complaints about several years of frustration as his human watched him freeze.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you.  It’s okay.  Rafe’s okay.  And Moira…  Well, let’s face it, she’s gonna love you.”

Spike was indeed taken aback by Rafe’s size and automatically reversed as the man approached with extended hand.  Rafe endearingly took a glance behind himself to see what had caused Spike’s reaction before letting Patrick draw him away.  The warmth on the small of the vampire’s back was Xander’s hand, supportive, stroking comfortingly.

“You’re safe.”

“I know.  But I can’t help it.”

Moira made her entrance, having rushed back to the car to collect what she’d forgotten.

“Housewarming gift,” she announced as she presented them with an elaborately wrapped box, all curls and plumes and sparkles.

“Fur coat and no knickers,” Spike grinned, letting out a laugh at Xander and Moira’s confused expressions.  Then Moira got it, dark eyes sparkling with humour.

“All show and no substance.  I didn’t wrap it, the store wrapped it, I chose something nice and they turned it into a carnival float.”

“I’m sure it’s great,” Xander told her.  “Ignore him.”

“I couldn’t possibly,” Moira protested, finally leaping on Spike’s hand and shaking it enthusiastically.  “Hi, Spike, I’m Moira, and I realise just how intimidating it is getting us all at once, but it becomes easier.”

“Hello, Moira.”

“Drink?”  Xander asked.

“Thank you; whatever’s open.”  Dark hair bouncing against her shoulders, the petite, elfish woman practically skipped to the kitchen with Xander, Spike trailing behind.  “So, is Josie here?” Moira was asking Xander confidentially when Spike arrived.

“Yeah, Josie’s here.”

“Are they on or off or what?”

“I guess they’re on.”

“Not for long,” Spike said quietly as he started pulling items from the refrigerator.

“You think not?” Moira asked.

“Well, not if he’s got any self-respect.”

“Ah.  You got the look, did you?”

“Certainly did.”

“Lexy usually gets the look.”  She turned to Xander.  “Did you get the look?”

“Until she saw Spike.”  Xander handed over a glass of wine and let Moira wrap an arm around his waist as his slid around her shoulders.  “I’m yesterday’s news,” he sighed dramatically.

“Yup.  New kid in town.”

Rafe’s frame filled the doorway and Spike’s eyes darted to him.  Tanned, strawberry-blond, soft blue eyes, radiating benevolence; built like a comic book superhero and fucking terrifying.

“Beer?” Xander asked.

“Thanks,” Rafe answered distractedly, attention entirely on Spike, who was pulling a bottled beer from the door of the refrigerator and looking for the opener.  “Pat was telling me…” Rafe began uncertainly, “that you got hurt.”  Spike stopped moving and turned to look at him.  “That you were hurt, and I kinda made you jump earlier.  Sorry.”

“Not your fault, mate,” Spike replied easily, but Xander could see the emotion swirling beneath the casual façade.  “Don’t worry, I won’t be sabotaging you with a prawn.”

Rafe grinned and took the offered beer.

“What happens?” Xander asked, grabbing at the change in subject.  “Y’know, if you eat seafood.”

“Sort of…swell up.”

“Okay, got Rafe the inflatable dingy in my head.”

“It’s nasty,” Moira explained.  “His throat closes up and he can’t breathe.  I’m glad you thought to check what he can’t eat.”

“Common sense,” Xander replied with a smirk, enjoying the sharp look he received from Spike.

“That’s right.  Beth did say it was Spike not you.”

With a laugh Xander guided her toward the door, herding the couple out of the kitchen, returning minutes later with an offer of assistance.

“What do you think?” he asked Spike earnestly.

“I think she probably spends a lot of time on top.”

“Spike!” Xander tried to sound outraged but failed miserably.

“Yeah, they’re okay.  You have a nice family.”  Xander suddenly pinned Spike against the refrigerator and kissed him hard.  “Been anxious, pet?”  Xander merely nodded before kissing him again.

“It matters.  You and them getting along.  I want you to have family here too.”

“Well, unless you peel yourself off the chef, the overriding memory the family will have of tonight was the amount of time it took to get any grub on the table.”

“Right.”  Xander reluctantly released his vampire.  “What can I do?”

“What can you do…” Spike considered with a frown, finally brightening as he decided on Xander’s role.  “Go and get them drunk so they won’t notice what I’ve got wrong.”

With a little apposite help from various sources everything went well on the food front, and the dinner was a pleasant, relaxed affair.  Spike was relieved that Josie flirted with everyone at the table – male, female, regardless – and, having avoided answering any of her questions about his background, kept quiet for most of the time, happier to observe and wonder over the way he already felt included.  Family.  Xander was at the head of the table, Spike at the foot, always able to make eye contact, the human radiating reassurance and stability and every so often giving the vampire looks that threatened to jump-start his heart.

There was a lot of idle chatter about their homes, and the hosts promised to show everyone the grounds by moonlight; the talk of houses led to building and building naturally led to work, and all the reading Spike had done paid off – as did the snooping around Xander’s files – when he found he was able to keep up with the discussions before the topic was guided back to ‘civilian’ subjects.

Midway through the river of chocolate that was dessert Xander took a phone call and, once back at the table, sat and brooded until Spike felt obliged to ask.

“So, what’s it about, pet?”

Xander held up his hands.

“Trying to steer clear of work.”

“You’ve turned into Angel.  You want to share a table with that moody ponce?”

Flash of humour in the dark eyes as the two men focused on one another, Spike raising a questioning eyebrow.

“There’s another firm poaching my best people.  Trying to.”

“Who are we losing?” Patrick immediately jumped in.

“We’re not.  Not yet, not at all if I have anything to do with it.”

“Who’s doing the poaching?” Jake asked.

“Gerald Feeny.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Uh-uh.  But he’s never had to meet me head-to-head on anything.  He’s in for a shock.”

Spike’s dead heart sang with glee: result, result, result!  The joy of being nefarious and sneaky and having a friend like Willow.

“He’s O’Connell and Shaw, right?” Spike said conversationally as he poured more wine.  “And O’Connell and Shaw is about to be blown out of the water by twenty-three private law suits.  They’re trying their best to keep it quiet but it’ll be common enough knowledge soon, and no-one in their right mind is going to take a chance on a move to…”  His voice trailed off as he pretended to notice the way everyone had silently turned to stare at him.  “What?”

“Where did you get this from?”

“I was just…browsing on the internet and there was a reference that caught my eye.  Red told me how to—  What to look for.”

“Willow taught you to hack?” Xander demanded incredulously.

“Man needs a hobby, Xan,” Spike smirked.

“Willow.  Taught you.  To hack.  And you hacked into O’Connell Shaw?”

“There’s a site that’s been put together by the people doing the suing.  Mutual support, comparisons of the substandard workmanship they’ve bought into, self-obsessed bellyaching, you know the kind of thing.  Took a few pointers from there and once I knew what I was looking for…”

Patrick leant over and put a hand on Spike’s wrist.  An unfamiliar energy flooded into the vampire at the point of contact, flowing through him and back to source, and Spike philosophically assumed that he hadn’t a single secret left.

“You download everything?”

“Patrick, don’t encourage him!”

“Head in, Alex.  Spike?”

Spike shifted his wrist, felt a slight squeeze that reminded him that this was not a threat, this was family.

“It’s all in the computer,” Spike said directly to Patrick, meeting his eyes and seeing warmth and pride there because this was family.

“What were you looking for in the first place?” Xander asked suspiciously.

The wide-eyed innocence of the response made him wary.

“Just browsing.”  Xander’s continued scrutiny brought forth a chuckle from the vampire.  “All right.  I was looking at The MacDonald Partnership.”

“You were looking for dirt on us?”

“Not dirt, no.  Admittedly it would have been fun to find some,” he grinned.  “I was just showing an interest, being the good other.  And there’s a fascinating site put together by one of your employees – all gossip and trash.  You’re on there, love.  Apparently, people are getting a bit excited over your alleged proclivities.”

“Can we take a look at this O’Connell Shaw information?” Jake was already out of his seat.  “Where’s your computer, Spike?”

“Hey, come on, guys,” Beth protested.  “Food first.  And at least pretend to appreciate it, it wasn’t just thrown together.”

The protest made its mark and everyone settled down to finish the meal.

“I know this O’Connell Shaw news is important,” Moira began seriously before cracking a smile in Spike’s direction.  “But just give us the address of the trash.”

After dinner Spike printed out all the damning information he had on O’Connell and Shaw for the men, and e-mailed the address of the trash site to the women’s computers.  Leaving the business partners in debate he headed back to the dining room, finding it already cleared and following the sound of good-humoured chatter to the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Spike told them as he entered the room, taking plates and serving dishes away from them.

“Par for the course,” Beth explained.  “They get into work and we escape.”

“Better do some ingratiating with the wives club then,” Spike told them with a transparently fake sigh of resignation.

“Funny.  You look like a man in his element,” Moira observed as she took back the plates and carried on stacking the dishwasher.

“What?  Stuck with a bunch of gorgeous women?  The centre of attention?  Don’t know what you mean.”

“Is your picture on the web site?” Josie asked.

Spike shrugged, remembered the security cameras.

“Wasn’t there the last time I looked.”

“Maybe it would be too dangerous.  After all, if your picture is posted alongside Lexy’s all the women in the firm will want to come around and watch.”

Spike sensed the shift in the atmosphere; Beth and Moira exchanged a glance that spoke volumes about how wrong Josie was in their midst.  He decided on a little reconnaissance.

“Watch, eh?  Well, I could run it past Xander,” Spike said thoughtfully, and Josie responded with a burst of laughter, breathlessly punctuated by offers to pay for the privilege, or even be the official photographer.  Beth looked ready to spontaneously combust.  “I’ll ask him when he’s likely to agree to anything,” Spike continued.  “Drop it into the conversation when he’s nailing me to the mattress.”  Interesting.  They don’t mind that, don’t mind me.  Not touchy about me and Xander.

“We get to watch, we get to watch,” Josie chanted, and Spike felt a ripple of energy roll through the air.

Fucking hell.  It’s about the connection is it, eh, Xan?  No bloody weirdness here, oh no.

“Watch what?” Xander asked as he came into the kitchen with hands full of empty glasses, bemused by the renewed laughter.

Play your part, play your part.

“Think about it,” Spike smirked.

Xander did, got it, flinched on cue.  Josie clapped her hands gleefully.

“I knew this was a bad idea.  She’s trouble and you’re…”  Spike began to stalk his human; Xander walked backwards in time with him.  “Uh-uh-uh.”

“Come on, Xan.  Give it up for the girls.”

“I warn you.”

“What are you going to do?  Stop my allowance?  Ground me?”

Spike had Xander at the wall.

“Withhold favours.”

Pause.  Spike stepped back.

“Sorry, ladies, he’s got me there.”

A highly exaggerated groan met Spike’s words, followed by more laughter and ribald comments.

Spike took a look at Beth and Moira, unsurprised to find their attention exclusively on him and Xander, having effectively dismissed Josie from their consideration.  For a moment Spike struggled to pin down exactly what they reminded him of, and then it came to him: prospective in-laws hoping their matchmaking efforts had worked on their kids.  The smile forming on his face at the idea froze.  Another swell of that elusive energy and Spike tensed against the force of it, becoming momentarily giddy for a few seconds before normality kicked in and the nauseating sensation was slipping away.  But…  He took a long, deep breath.  What have they done?  What did Patrick do?  Don’t feel right.  His stomach turned over and he moved closer to Xander who was, at that moment, quite oblivious to Spike’s distress, rolling his eyes in possibly mock despair at Josie’s behaviour and gratefully handing the glasses to Moira to facilitate his timely escape to the hall.  Spike followed, quickly snagging his partner’s hand; with a jolt he was grounded.  Within ten seconds he’d forgotten what had just occurred and was simply left with a resurgence of his earlier anxiety.

“That was cute, Spike.  O’Connell Shaw.”

Everything’s fine.  Concentrate on Xander and everything’s fine.

“What can I say?  Not just a pretty face.”

“True enough.”  They exchanged a long look before Xander moved in, reaching up to trail his fingers over Spike’s neck, slipping beneath his shirt and brushing the mark, enjoying the resultant shiver.  “Thanks for tonight.”

“Not a problem.  I like your family better than mine.”

“That means a lot.”  Spike’s arms crept around Xander’s waist and the hold tightened, bringing them close.  “By the way, it’s our family.”  Xander raked his fingers into the soft blond hair, pulling Spike into a kiss that almost happened before Spike diverted and turned it into a hug.  “What?” Xander whispered.

“She’s watching us,” Spike whispered back.

“Josie?”

“What is she even doing here?  She doesn’t fit.”

“We can’t tell Jake who to love.”

“He doesn’t love her, he can’t.”

“Can’t he?” Xander asked, bemused by the assertion.

“She doesn’t…fit.”  And that was as good an argument as Spike could manage.  If Xander didn’t feel it, there was no way he could explain.  He felt a surge of panic, forced it down.  Bad and evil and stupid.   “Do I fit?”

“Yeah, you fit.”

“If I don’t, if they think I don’t?  Would you…?”

“You come first, Spike.  Never doubt that.”  Xander added some overenthusiastic pressure to his embrace and Spike creaked.  “She still there?”

Spike didn’t even have to look; he could feel her presence.  The wrongness of it.

“Come on, Beth,” he said under his breath.  “Notice.  Get rid of her.”

And within seconds he caught movement out of the corner of his eye as Josie was lured away from the doorway.  Only vaguely alarmed that that had worked, and mentally screaming coincidence at himself, Spike smiled convincingly and gave Xander a light kiss that rapidly deepened.  The vampire’s hands slid down onto the enticingly firm buttocks and squeezed.  And a preoccupied Xander didn’t notice one hand leave him just long enough to give a thumbs-up to Beth and Moira as they peered around the kitchen door.

The remaining partners were prised from the study and, admittedly still clutching computer print-outs, were persuaded by their respective significant others to take a stroll in the gardens.  Xander gazed longingly at his love, a magnificent creature of the night brought alive (albeit in an undead sense) by the play of silver-blue moonlight over his features.  Wandering further afield to gain a little privacy, Xander drew the vampire close to his side.

“I’ve been thinking and thinking about…  You know what about.”

“No-one would have guessed from the looks.  Next time why don’t you simply write, ‘Want to fuck you’ on your forehead?”

“Oh, God, I do.  Want to fuck you.  How can I get them to go?”

“You can’t.  You have to be the good host and wait.”

“Shit.  More thinking.  I am so looking forward to having you tonight.”

“Be—”

“Be…?”  Spike looked away with a shake of his head.  “Spike?” Xander asked softly.

They stopped walking.  Spike turned and tried to meet Xander’s eyes, strangely shy, ethereally beautiful as his skin glowed under the moon’s rays.

“Gentle.  Be gentle.  Can you?”

For a moment Xander felt quite breathless, the weight of the feelings Spike could evoke in him pressing the oxygen from his body.  He forced a hefty breath into his lungs.

“I can be anything you want me to be.”

Bad and evil and stupid but…

“I’m not playing you.  Not this time.”

“I didn’t think you were.”

Which is why at three in the morning Spike propped Xander up against the pillowed headboard and straddled his lap, joining them as he sank onto Xander’s hips with a satisfied grunt; remaining perfectly still they held one another in a long silence.

Outward silence.

Only when a shuddering breath from Spike broke the calm did Xander speak.

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Bad and evil and stupid.

“They accepted me.”

“That’s wrong?”

“They’re good people.”

“Why shouldn’t they accept you?”

“I’m a monster.”  Bad and evil and stupid.

“Not any more.”

“I’ve been a monster.”  Bad and evil and stupid.  “How can they accept me?  How can you?”

“I love you.”

“That isn’t a good enough reason.  I am everything you used to hate.”

“Yeah, and then that narrow-minded fascist grew up and realised that nothing is quite so simple.  Anyway, me loving you, my friends accepting you, that isn’t your problem, is it?  You’re not forcing anything, anyone.  You’re just being you and people like that.  Why do you have to question it?”

“What if it can’t last?” Spike whispered.  “How long before everyone sees me as I am and comes to their senses?”  Bad and evil and stupid.  “How long will I be safe?”

Xander hugged the vampire to him, feeling the tightness around his cock build at the slight shift in position, wondering how the hell he could have a serious conversation while he was buried inside Spike.

“I can’t do this,” he explained apologetically.

“Us?” Spike asked, barely audible.

“Think.  When all the blood has drained out of my brain and into my groin.  I can’t think when you make me feel like this.”  Xander was reaching for Spike’s hips to lift him off when the vampire moved on him, drawing an involuntary moan from Xander’s throat before he tried to focus on priorities.  “This can wait.  If you want to…”

“Later.”

“Uh…Spike…oh, fuck…  You talked me round, you silver-tongued beast.”

“Love you, Xander.”  Bad and evil and stupid but…  “I love you.”

“Oh, yeah.  Back at ya.”

Spike forced a smile and leisurely rode, wishing that they could be like this every hour of the day and night.  Wishing he could keep hold of Xander and never let go.  Maybe then the spectres and fears and…  Shudder  …memories would keep their distance.

…

“Want to talk now?”

“No.  Want to sleep.”

“You were upset.”

Bad and evil and stupid.

“I’m not now.  Sleep.”

“You know I love you, don’t you?”  But I’m bad and evil and stupid.  You can’t…  “And I won’t ever leave you.  Or ask you to go.”  Make it better, Xander.  Make it all better.  Xander stroked Spike’s back, buried his face in soft waves and kissed.  Spike snuggled closer, face pressing into Xander’s neck.  “Y’know…it’s more likely you’ll go.  One day the chip will be out and you’ll go back to being William the Bloody and want to wreak some serious havoc.  And if my heart doesn’t break completely, and if life does go on, I’ll never have anyone else.  I can’t imagine wanting to fuck anyone warm ever again.  Can’t imagine being in anyone but you anyhow.”

Bad and evil and stupid.  But you love me.  You love me.  Don’t leave me.  Don’t leave me, keep us together, own me, save me, don’t leave me because I…

“Won’t go,” Spike mumbled before latching onto Xander’s neck and sucking.

“I’ll get old, you’ll get bored.”  Xander heard a soft whine as Spike shifted again, trying to become a part of Xander because it was impossible to get nearer and stay outside of his skin.  “You’re in a strange mood.  I thought we had a good night.”  Spike nodded against him.  “Then why are you so…so…I can’t figure it out.  What are you?”

Bad and evil and stupid.

“Love you, Xander,” tickled his ear, and Xander gave up trying to figure out the un-figureoutable.  Spike would tell him in time.  Meanwhile he could distract him a little if the cock grinding against his thigh was anything to go by.

“Want me to make you feel nice?”  The vampire’s erection was suddenly hard enough to break through a wall, and there was the whine again.  “That a yes?”  Nod.  “What would you…”  In a whirl of motion, Xander found himself pulled over the vampire, mouth being encouraged to re-establish his claim.  A warm hand drifted down the firm stomach as Xander licked the mark, and Spike threw his head back hard as Xander trailed his fingertips over the vampire’s balls and cock.

“Fuck me,” Spike growled, “fuck me and bite me.  Mark me.”  Own me.  Make me safe.

“Remember that little chat we had about human limitations?”

Without hesitation Spike brought his wrist to his mouth, dropping his fangs and making a neat gash which he offered to Xander.  Similarly without hesitation Xander took the offer and licked up the flow of blood.  As he swallowed he recognised the rush of icy fire through him, and let a full-body neural orgasm send his body pleasurably limp.  With one notable exception.  Then Spike was impatiently tipping him into place and raising his hips, reaching down to guide Xander’s rigid cock home.

“Fuck me and mark me,” he pleaded.  Make me yours, make me safe, own me, own me, make me safe.

“Yes,” Xander agreed hazily, shaking off the passing sensations and fixing his attention upon the new.  “Still want me to be…”

“No.  Hard.  Fast.  I want to scream.”  Make it go away.  Make it better.  Bad and evil and stupid.  Own me.  Make me safe.  Bad and evil and stupid.  Bad and evil and stupid but I love you.  I love you.

Xander made a few tentative strokes, wanting to feel if there was enough slickness from their previous bout to stop them getting sore.  Yes.  He smiled at his beautiful mate, relishing the love and lust in eyes that were fixed on him with an almost maniacal gaze.

“Hard.  Fast.  Get ready to scream.”

Already screaming.  In here.  Don’t want to be alone.  In here.  Make me yours.  Bad and evil and stupid but you can make it better, you can always make it better.  If you own me.  Mark me, make me, turn me, own me, save me.  Xander.  Save me.

Bad and evil and stupid.

Already screaming.

Repossession 34       Repossession Index       Repossession Notes

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