The 2005 Spander Christmas Album
Hark,
The Herald Angels Sing
by
Kim
Notes
“Push.” “I’m pushing.” “Well, push harder.” “It’s not going to fit.” “Maybe we should try a different
position,” “We’ve tried it every bloody way,
Xan. I don’t think it’s going to work.” Willow chose that moment to walk
by. “Mistletoe,” she chirped. Spike and Xander looked up from
where they were trying to fit an enormous fir tree through the front door. Neither had any idea what she was talking
about. She pointed above their heads to a
dangling sprig of greenery. “Mistletoe,”
she explained. “We hung it while you
were gone.” “That’s great, Wil. We’re just a little bit busy here.” “But,” she protested, “You have to
kiss. It’s the law.” Spike rolled his eyes. “How do you fancy we manage that? Bit of a twig in the way.” When Willow geared up for a good
lip wobble, Xander started to struggle over the tree. It was easier to pick needles and tar out of
unwelcome places than deal with an upset Willow. “Lean over.” More eye rolling accompanied the
effort, but, Spike decided, it was well worth it when Xander’s warm lips met
his. Clearly, Xander expected a brief
press of lips to satisfy Willow, but Spike had other ideas. Sliding his hand behind Xander’s neck, he
deepened the kiss, grinning when he immediately opened his mouth to welcome
Spike’s tongue. They stood that way,
tongues tangling with each other, as Xander’s hand dropped down to grab Spike’s
butt. Willow’s whimper finally reminded
them they weren’t alone. Breaking the kiss, Spike
laughed. “I think we could get Red to
buy tickets if we promised to keep going, luv.” Xander’s eye slowly drifted
open. “Works for me if she can come up
with some cash.” Willow’s face matched the color of
her hair. She gestured
distractedly. “I’m just going to. . . I
mean, I need to check on . . . I’m just gonna go. . . you know,” she trailed
off as she wandered away. Giving a huge tug, Spike pulled
the tree and Xander through the door.
“This is the last time I let you talk me into spending the holidays with
this lot. Next Christmas, we’re spending
it alone – you, me, and a gallon of lube.” A chorus of shrieks and giggles
sounded from the living room. Xander
winced. “Can we go now?” “Say the word, luv. We can nip up to the Council’s cottage in
Scotland at the drop of a hat.” As Xander pretended to contemplate
it, they carried the tree into the front room, which had undergone a
transformation in their absence. Boughs
of greenery adorned most of the available surfaces with golden balls and
springs of berries peeking out from the branches. The smells of Christmas – pine, cinnamon, and
other delicious aromas – filled the air.
A handful of teenaged Slayers surged forward to relieve them of their
burden and carry the tree to its stand in a prominent place next to the fire. A redheaded ball of energy ran
across the room and launched herself into Xander’s arms. “Xander!”
Fergie, the youngest of the Slayers at seven years old, had adopted
Xander as her surrogate big brother.
“You’re back just in time,” she bubbled, “We’re getting ready to sing
carols. Sophie can play the piano. And, we’re all going to sing. Even Angel.
He promised! Isn’t that right,
Angel?” Hearing his name, Angel looked up
from across the room where he was helping Buffy hang garland and waved slightly
in agreement. Spike gasped in horror. “No, pet.
Anything but that. He’s
definitely not an angel you should be harking to hear sing. Do all of our ears a favor and leave him out
of it.” Fergie giggled when he tickled
her ribs. ‘Sides, I doubt Sophie knows
any Barry Manilow carols.” “Shut up, Spike,” Angel growled
from across the room. “Barry Manilow?” Xander
questioned, setting Fergie down to go and join the tree-trimming effort. “Scotland won’t be far enough, if
the poof starts singing.” Xander slipped his arm around
Spike’s waist and leaned in to nip at his earlobe. “Maybe Rome?”
“Upstairs might be closer.” Spike smirked, turning to face Xander and
leaning up for a long kiss. Their mutual tongue admiration was
disrupted by a loud voice from near the fireplace. “I wish to speak to this
green. Your chatter disrupts its
melody. Leave before I rip your
intestines from your flesh and feed the dripping strands to the fire.” Illyria stood near the tree,
facing the group of Slayers. Xander leaned his forehead against
Spike’s and sighed. “Maybe Tibet. Don’t the monks have to take a vow of
silence?” Before they could break up the
confrontation, one of the Slayers shared her opinion that only an idiot took on
a group of Slayers. “When I was a God-King a thousand
thousand sycophants worshipped me. Your
mewling is as nothing to me. The next
time your mouths open it should be in praises of worship to my glory.” Spike’s sigh of exasperation was
clear throughout the room. “All right,
Blue. Leave the nice Slayers to decorate
the tree. You should try a stroll
outside. Lots of green to talk to. I’m sure you can find a lovely pine to chat
with.” Illyria regarded him for several
long, unblinking moments. “I leave
because I choose to, not because your pleas and meaningless threats have swayed
me.” As she stalked out of the room,
Xander heard Buffy mutter to Angel, “do you think it’s possible to have a
normal holiday?” “All depends on your definition of
normal,” he murmured back. The chatter in the room started to
return. The Slayers dug through boxes
looking for the lights to string on the tree.
Xander was considering taking Spike up on his offer to slip upstairs
when Giles wandered in from the library, pulling his glasses from his face and
rubbing his eyes. “I’m afraid we have a situation.” “Of course we do,” Buffy
grumbled. “It’s Christmas Eve, so, of
course, there has to be a situation to ruin Buffy’s holiday.” “Tad self-absorbed there, aren’t
we?” Spike observed. Her dignified response was to
stick out her tongue. Ignoring the bickering between
Buffy and Spike that was their normal method of communication, Xander turned to
Giles. “What sort of situation? Apocalypse-like situation or run of the mill,
random demons with a half-baked idea to take over the world?” Giles tilted his head in
consideration at Xander’s question.
“More the latter, really,” he admitted.
“According to my sources, a clan of vampires intends to open a nearby
crypt. They’re looking for the Sword of
Abun-Ra. The Sword is used to perform a
ritual to release an angelic host against mankind.” “A group of vampires want to release a bunch of angels?”
Xander asked. “Wow, they’re dimmer than
even your average vampire. Present
company excluded,” he hurried to add at Spike’s noise of protest. “Yes, well, it’s a demonic host of
angels.” Giles explained. “The legend goes that they were cast out of
heaven and wait for the day when they can unleash their vengeance on the
world.” “Not exactly fat babies and
harps,” Spike noted. Buffy went over to the weapons
cabinet and tossed a sword to Angel before selecting a vicious looking ax for
herself, “I suppose we’d better get this over with. Spike, Xander, you should probably come
along.” Spike sauntered over to the chest
and selected a small handheld crossbow.
“How’s a frolic in the snow sound, pet?”
He asked Xander as he tucked the crossbow in his pocket and pulled out a
long knife. Thinking of Spike’s enthusiastic
lovemaking that was only enhanced by a fight beforehand, Xander readily agreed. “You could take the other
Slayers,” Giles suggested to Buffy. “It
might be a good exercise.” “Nah,” Xander broke in before she
could answer. “Let them stay here and
deck the halls, roast some chestnuts, make some wassail, whatever that is. Us old folks will take care of this one. Of course,” he looked at Angel, “some of us
are much older than others.” Buffy led the way out the door,
“Come on kids, let’s all try to play nicely together and go kill the nasty
vampires.” Spike flicked his tongue over his
teeth and leered at Xander. “I can be a
nasty vampire.” “I’m counting on it,” Xander said
as he gave him a quick grope on the way out the door. The ride to the cemetery was
quiet. Angel drove and Buffy sat staring
out the passenger window, their hands entwined on the seat between them. Spike and Xander sat glued to each other in
the backseat, hands roaming restlessly, stroking and teasing. Spike nibbled his way down the boy’s jaw, his
cool tongue tracing a wordless promise for later; the heady scent of Xander’s
arousal filling his senses. All too soon, they reached their
destination, and each took a minute to adjust himself more comfortably as they
unloaded the weapons from the trunk, Angel included, while Buffy shook her head
at the testosterone brigade she was saddled with. “All right,” Buffy announced,
“let’s get this over with so we can get home.
I hate fighting in the snow.” They tromped toward the general
direction where Giles said they would find the crypt. Xander looked around, bemused at the
beautiful scene. Snow lay thick on the
ground, and a gentle dusting sifted down from the sky. Wet flakes clung, giving everything a glisten
of white. As they approached the area, they
spread out and stalked silently forward.
For all of their bickering, the four had been molded into a well-honed
fighting team in recent years. It had
taken a lot of rebuilding of trust, and awkward moments, especially while he
and Spike danced around their feelings for one another, but, Xander realized,
it had all worked out. He and Buffy each
had their vampires, and if anyone had told him back in Sunnydale that he would
be dating William the Bloody, he would have suggested they get their head
checked. Up ahead, eight vampires were
gathered around a stone mausoleum, using a crowbar to try and break the
padlocks holding the gates closed. “You’d think in the twenty-first
century vampires could embrace the power tool.”
Xander whispered to Spike. “Lacks style, pet. Jackhammers don’t exactly reek of evil,” he
explained. Once they were in position, Buffy
went with the direct approach. “Hey!” The vampires turned, snarling when
they saw the tiny blond interrupting their break-in. “Do you know what tonight
is?” She asked, stalking forward. “Tonight, the night you’ve decided to unleash
a demon hoard on the earth – stupid idea by the way – is Christmas Eve. And instead of sitting by a fire, opening
gifts of indecent lingerie from my boyfriend, I’m out here dealing with you.” “Shut up, Slayer,” one of the
vampires hissed. “There are enough of us
to finish you.” “I’m going to overlook that
rudeness because it’s Christmas,” Buffy continued, idly swinging her ax, “and
I’m going to spread a little piece on earth by cutting you to pieces.” Enraged, the vampires rushed her,
although a few stopped short in surprise when Angel, Spike and Xander stepped
out from the shadows to join the fun. The fight was fairly routine. Xander killed one vampire and then stood back
to watch Spike. It never failed to
enthrall him, watching his lover fight.
Spike traded blows with two vampires at the same time, whirling between
the two, taunting and toying. His black
duster flared out, displaying the hard body underneath. He moved like liquid death, causing Xander to
harden in automatic reaction. Buffy and Angel had handily
dispatched four of the vampires, leaving one for Buffy to take out her pent up
aggression on. Angel stood leaning
against a tombstone, watching Buffy fight with the same deep desire Xander was
certain was evident on his face as he watched Spike. Unfortunately for Buffy, the snow
was rather deep and the new flakes made the ground quite slick. When she decapitated the last vampire with a
dramatic flourish, the momentum carried her around and her feet slipped,
sending her sprawling into a drift.
Spike’s snickers were quickly drowned out by Angel’s howls. “It’s not funny,” Buffy protested,
struggling to stand and wipe the snow from her face at the same time. Angel’s only response was to bend
over, clutching his sides as he laughed.
Finally, he tried to get himself under control, straightening up to go
and help her to her feet, only to be met with a large snowball right in the
face. Quickly packing another, Buffy let
it fly. “I’ll teach you to laugh at me.” Shaking his head at the pair’s
antics, Spike turned toward Xander, a quip on his lips, and a cold ball of
wetness smacked into his face. Calmly,
he wiped the snow from his eyes and glared at his giggling boyfriend. “Sorry,” Xander choked out. “It just seemed like a good idea at the
time.” He held his hands out in
supplication as Spike stalked toward him, slowing down to scoop up a handful of
snow on his way. “Come on,” Xander pled, backing
away. “You have to admit it was funny.” “And it will be even funnier when
I shove this snow down your pants, luv.” Just as Spike reached him, Angel
yelled, “Spike!” When they turned to see what
further trouble had popped up, both Buffy and Angel pelted them with snowballs. “Right, that’s it then.” Spike turned and launched his
missile at Buffy while Xander scrambled to gather more snow. Shrieking at the cold, Buffy started to run
to provide some distance and time to make more ammunition. Instead of chasing Buffy, Spike unexpectedly
launched himself at Angel and the two went tumbling into the snow. Xander ran after a laughing Buffy, executing
a flying tackle and managing to get a grip on her ankle to bring her down. He crawled up her back, her strangled
attempts to catch her breath the only thing that allowed him to pin her
down. Straddling her, he rode out her
half-hearted attempts to buck him off and washed her face in the snow. The cold bite against her cheeks apparently
gave her the will to fight him off.
Using Slayer strength – unfairly, he thought – she flipped them over and
it was his turn to eat icy powder. For
good measure she threw in a bit of merciless tickling. Eventually, the giggles died down
and they managed to catch their breath.
They both noticed at the same time that it was abnormally quiet. Looking over Buffy’s shoulder, he saw Angel
and Spike watching them, several well-packed snowballs in hand. “Uh oh,” he whispered. She looked at him, a question in
her eyes, and Xander nodded; he was lost, she should save herself. With barely a tensing of muscles to give her
away, she was up and running, Angel giving chase. Xander started to scramble upright
and made it to his knees before Spike was on him. “Well, pet. Seems like someone else has been the naughty
one.” “You’re not going to hit me with
those, are you?” Xander gave Spike his
best pleading look. “Dunno, luv.” He cupped his groin suggestively. “Maybe there’s something you can do to earn
my forgiveness.” “Here?” Xander only half-pretended
to be scandalized. He was kneeling in
the snow right out in the open and Buffy and Angel were close by. “You want an audience?” Spike smirked and pointed over
Xander’s shoulder. “Don’t think either
one of them are going to be paying attention to us for a little while.” Xander looked around and saw that
Angel had caught up to Buffy. He had her
pinned up against a tree and her legs were wrapped around his waist. Neither appeared aware of the rest of the
world at the moment. “You want me to suck you off right
here?” Warming to the idea, Xander’s
fingers were already at Spike’s belt. “Think of it as an early Christmas
present, luv. I’ve been a very good boy
this year.” Unzipping Spike’s jeans, Xander
pulled his half-erect cock out. “This is
going to have to be fast. I really don’t
want to spark another conversation on oral techniques with Buffy.” Leaning forward, he breathed along
the dusky pink head, a tease of warm breath that was visible in the cold night
air. Still teasing, he ran his open
mouth down the length, blowing warm air until he reached the base where he let
his tongue flicker out for the briefest of seconds. With one hand, he took a firm grasp and
started pumping lightly while the other hand reached under and pulled Spike’s
testicles forward until he could suck first one, then the other into his
mouth. He loved Spike’s balls. They were covered with the softest of skin;
he could spend hours stroking them, worrying the skin between them, right where
they met Spike’s body, with his tongue. When Spike threw his head back,
choking off a moan, he allowed the flat of his tongue to scrape up Spike’s
erection, until he once again reached the tip, which he circled lazily as he began
to pump harder. As he coaxed the first drops of
pre-come out, he swallowed the head, letting it wetly bob in and out of his
mouth in time with his strokes. Slowly,
on each downward stroke, he took a little more into his mouth. With his other hand, he encouraged Spike to
start thrusting his hips, wanting to feel the vampire fuck his mouth. Spike obliged, tangling his hands
in Xander’s hair and moving his hips in the rhythm he had established. Freed from controlling the pace, Xander
concentrated on swallowing as much of Spike’s cock as he could while rolling
his balls gently, fingers periodically pressing against the sensitive skin
behind them. He could do this all night. The discomfort of the wetness seeping into
the knees of his jeans where he knelt was outweighed by the needy grunts Spike
made as he sped up, nearing completion.
His hand gripped tighter, determined to milk the orgasm from the
vampire, already anticipating the salty tang.
He sucked harder, causing Spike’s hands to tighten. “Fuck. . .Xan. . . Suck it!” Xander could feel Spike’s balls
draw up, signaling his climax. “Don’t stop. . .I’m gonna. . .Oh,
god. . .I’m gonna come.” Spike’s body stiffened, all his
muscles locked as his orgasm exploded through him. Xander drank down the liquid that filled his
mouth while continuing to suck, wanting to wring every last drop from his
lover. Finally, Spike relaxed, half
slumping over Xander, his hands cradling the man’s shoulders. They stayed that
way, while Xander caught his breath. “Merry Christmas, Spike.” He raised his face brushing a kiss against
Spike’s lips. Spike deepened the kiss, his
tongue seeking out his flavor on Xander’s, sucking it from his mouth. “Merry Christmas, luv. Merry Christmas, indeed.”
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