//What the hell was going on?// Xander couldn’t wrap his mind around the situation. He leaned back on the fence, looking up at the blonde vampire and sighing. It was a lovesick swoon-y thing, and he giggled at that. He knew that ordinarily he’d be aiming snarky comments at Mr. Evil Undead standing before him, but his mind wasn’t letting the words form. He’d found himself admiring those lethal cheekbones for months, but something had always stifled the thought before he could give his attraction a chance…something stubborn and strong that he just couldn’t find right now. The dazed human felt captivated when he looked into the vampire’s arresting blue eyes. He saw pain and beauty in them that he’d never bothered to notice before. Now, he wanted that lean body against him again.

Xander thought about when he first woke in the dump to a voice that sounded harsh from crying.  He recognized it as Spike’s and sat for a second listening to the vampire’s plight. Then the smell registered and he realized where he was and he’d frozen in panic. A blur struck his leg and he sat stunned looking up at the gorgeous vampire, focus clinging to the thin T-shirt that stretched across Spike’s torso. 

Between the long gorgeous legs joining to a fabulous denim bulge and the muscled stomach directly above it, he was just held captive. Then there was pain as Xander was pulled and Spike was there, supporting his wobbly form. Maybe he’d inhaled some fumes while he was out or something, but as he leaned into the blonde’s sculpted body, he instantly longed for more contact. His own body screamed for more. And the vampire’s threat to leave ushered in the fear: terror of being defenseless and of dying alone, having been nothing to anyone.  //Could things get worse?// Xander thought.

Earlier that day had been hell. Anya ripped him a new one in front of his friends and the leasing agent while they looked at apartments. She’d made him feel like such a failure and right before they went looking for the Toth, the ex-demon delivered the final blow.

“Waiting around for you to get your life straight is too much for me, Xander,” she had stated in her usual conversational tone. “Life is too short to waste in a basement. I care about you, but I can’t stay with you.” There was a lot more said, as well as some yelling, but as far as he was concerned, that statement was all that mattered. He’d done what he could to change her mind, but it was over anyway. He loved Anya, and in his basement dwelling Zeppo existence, she’d given him hope. Hope that he would grow up and have a home of his own: nothing like the one he had now.  And a family.  Buffy and Willow used to be that, but they had the world of finals and frat parties that was college, and he’d kind of faded to the background.  So, job ending, girlfriend gone, friends moved on, and he pretty much figured he’d reached bottom. Then he woke up to find he’d been abandoned in garbage. Then Spike tripped over him and things started looking up. Pun intended.

Xander contemplated all of this, all the while drinking in the sight of the smoking vampire. Those long, pale fingers bringing the cigarette to full, lick-able lips, and Xander groaned. He’d started in on a fantasy starring those lips and it became too much. Then he blushed because, *hey* how much of that was out loud?

`*^~--.;'.--~^*`*^~--.;'.--~^*`

 Spike had been feigning disinterest in the human’s problems. It sounded more like the boy was talking to himself anyway. He had thought Xander was more together than this, and his heart reluctantly went out to him.  He took a deep drag of his cigarette and flicked it away expertly. The dismissive words died on his lips when the boy started flirting with him. Then the brunette had moaned and the scarred eyebrow shot up.

He turned to regard the human and was rewarded with a furious blush. Through the tussled hair, Xander’s big eyes were dark with arousal as he stammered.  //We’ll just pretend that didn’t happen, shall we?// Spike thought as he lit another fag and left it hanging in his mouth.

“Where-- where do you want to go shower? I don’t have my car here. Riley drove us up here and I still don’t know why they left me behind. I mean, before we fought Adam together, I’d have said it’s because I’m not Academia Guy like they are and the funny thing is I thought we were over all that, but I guess not. And anyway, my house is across town and I doubt the cemetery has indoor plumbing.”

“Breathe, boy. There’s a Recreation Center not far from here. We’ll wash there.” As he talked, Spike threw an arm around Xander and half-carried the boy down the sidewalk.

`*^~--.;'.--~^*`*^~--.;'.--~^*`

Xander couldn’t wrap his mind around what had come over him. Being that up close and personal with Spike hadn’t wigged him out, although it should have. Buffy and the gang certainly hadn’t done him any favors by leaving him here for Spike to find anyway.  This was their fault, he reasoned, might as well go with it. 

BLISS TOOK HOLD 3