ADVENTURES OF A BACHELOR WATCHER
by fanbot
Notes

Groupie

The black '59 Desoto skidded to a halt just short of the sign which cheerfully read “Welcome to Sunnydale.” A lean figure in black climbed out, eyed the sign and landed a well-placed kick in the center of it, toppling it.

“Home sweet home,” Spike sneered.

~~~

Giles sat on a stool in the corner of the Espresso Pump, crooning a ballad from the early ‘70’s, and accompanying himself on guitar.  He had been coming here privately for some time, keeping his hobby from the group of barely-not-teenaged Scoobies who had lately moved on. His visits to the coffee shop had allowed him a reason to get out of his bachelor apartment and a chance to talk to adults once in a while. Tonight, the adult he wanted to talk to was a woman smiling at him over her coffee.

He felt her eyes on him as he finished up his last set of the evening. She was very striking, tall, curvy, with long red hair, and vivid green eyes. She was blessed with that pale, freckle-free complexion that few red heads have. Her black lace dress looked antique and was tailored to show off cleavage and curves. An intricately worked silver and onyx ring flashed on her hand. He took his bow and she motioned him over.

“You have a wonderful voice. Do you have a recording out?” she asked as he joined her at her table.

“Um, no. This is just a hobby. It gets me out of the house.” He held out his hand. “I’m Rupert Giles.”

She took his hand briefly, “I’m Melina Black. Sorry to hear you don’t have a CD, I’d buy one if you did.”

Giles bought her a coffee and they chatted. He learned she was in town because of supernatural rumors.

“More than one web site reports this little town is high on the weird scale. I just thought I’d come and check it out. Have you ever seen anything weird, Rupert?” she asked in a conspiratorial tone.

“I’ve seen a few things,” Giles sipped his tea to hide a smile.

“Have you ever seen a vampire?” Giles wasn’t sure he liked how her eyes lit up. “I know they aren’t all Anne Rice and cuddly, but I’d love to see one.” She leaned in close to him and he could smell her musky perfume. “If you see one, will you point it out?”

“Certainly,” Giles trailed off. “In fact, speak of the devil…” His attention was diverted from the creamy cleavage presented to him by a familiar swirl of black behind her.

Melina turned to see where he was looking out in the street full of passersby. “Who? Which one?”

“The tall chap with the dated hair and leather coat,” Giles said dryly.

Melina laughed. “Oh, I bet that’s just the look he’s going for. It's very 'Lost Boys.'”

To Giles’ horror, Spike walked into the coffee shop and up to the counter. He leaned on the counter and offered a charming smile to the girl there. “You got anything sweet?” he asked in his lower-class English accent. “I’ve already had a salty snack this evening.” While she was getting his sticky buns, Spike turned and noticed Giles.

“Rupert, you old bookworm, how are you?” Spike paid for his food and strode to their table.

“Just fine, Spike. I thought you went to Brazil,” Giles answered through clinched teeth.

“I can’t stay away from this party town for long, you know that.” Spike nodded to Melina. “Who’s the new bird?”

Melina held out her hand. “Hi! I’m Melina. Rupert says you’re a vampire. I’ve always wanted to meet a vampire.”

Spike flourished his coat like a cape, took her hand and delicately kissed it. He straightened up, delighting in Giles’ horrified expression. “Ruppie shouldn’t be telling his old pal’s secrets just to impress girls.” Spike gave his most charming laugh. “He just calls me a vampire because I keep winning at poker.”

“Go away, Spike.” Giles glared at him.

“Now, now.” Spike cocked his head at Melina. “I tell you what, Luv, if you get tired of playing ‘student with an overdue book and the harsh librarian’ and want to play ‘maiden ravaged by good-looking vampire’ look me up.” He headed out, clutching his bag of buns. “Tell the gang I say ‘hi,’ Rupert.”

“He seems nice,” Melina’s smile vanished when she saw how Giles was glowering after Spike. “What’s wrong?”

“’Seems’ is the operative word. Spike is a very dangerous man. I advise you to stay away from him.”

“If you say so. Why don’t you call the police if he’s so dangerous?”

“I’ll tell the proper people in the morning.” Giles needed to tell Buffy, but Spike didn’t seem to be up to immediate trouble. Plus, but doesn’t want to loose his chance with this beautiful woman.

She stirred her cold coffee and looked up at him from under long lashes. “Why don’t we go and talk somewhere the vampires won’t bother us?”

“”Humm?” Giles turned his full attention back to the lovely lady across from him. “Yes, I think that’s a fine idea. There are not many places open late in Sunnydale, I’m afraid. There’s the local club, The Bronze.” He hoped she would not want to go there, for any number of the ‘gang’ might show up.

“I don’t like clubs.” She looked into his eyes and leaned close. “How about your place? Maybe you can play me an encore.”

It was not long before Giles settled their tab and they were back at his place.

Giles opened the door and waved her in. She looked around at the simple, yet rich decorations, which incorporated exotic and sometimes scary artifacts. Glass-fronted bookcases were filled with obviously old books. Off the high-ceiling living room a bedroom loft overlooked all.

Melina peered at his books as Giles made tea. “You have a lot of unreadable books here. How many languages do you speak?”

“I speak 6 languages fluently and 3 more I can get by in. I can read quite a few more.” Giles replied as he handed her a cup of tea. She held it in both hands as they sat together on the couch.

“So Mr. Trench Coat was telling the truth about playing librarian?” she smiled over the rim of her cup.

“I was the high school librarian. Though there was never a student as attractive as you.” Feeling very confident, Giles leaned in and kissed her.

Melina broke away, giggled, and traded her cup of tea for a book that was lying on the table.

She clutched it to her chest, pressing her breasts even higher, and made her eyes wide. “I’m sorry, Mr. Giles. I meant to get this back at the end of the semester. The fees must be huge.”

Giles smiled then looked sternly at her. “Young lady, you may well have caused others to do without a book they needed. Let’s see what you’ve got.” He took the book and pretended to check a card in the back. “Miss Black, these fees are considerable. You may have to make payments.”

She looked up at him. “Is there perhaps something I can… do around here to work some of it off?” Melina ran a finger along the low neckline of her dress.

Giles warmed to his role. “Well, all the shelving is done and the books are dusted. There is no work at this point.”

“Perhaps something more... personal?” Melina kneeled in front of him, reached out, took the book, and set it aside. “I bet it gets lonely here in the library after hours.”

“Yes, it does.”

Melina slowly undid his belt and slacks. “Say, Mr. Giles. I have an oral report in class tomorrow. Can I practice it with you?” She looked up at him, still playing wide-eyed.

“Sh... sh… sure. I’ll give you some feedback.”

Melina worked his pants and underwear down off his hips. “Oh, my!” she exclaimed, freeing his penis. “That’s rather more lengthy than required.”

Giles made some modest noises.

She dropped character. “Shush. There is no way you cannot be aware of how well equipped you are.” She wrapped her hand around him.

“Ow!” Giles flinched away.

“Oh, sorry! I must have caught you with my ring. I’ve been meaning to get it fixed.” She took it off and put it aside. “Sharp thing all gone.” She held up her ring-free hand to show him, and drank a sip of tea before leaning back in. “It’s barely a scratch.” She kissed away the tiny bead of blood, which was near the head. ”Let me make you forget all about it.” Melina took him in both hands and worked him until he was really hard, then leaned in and licked the full length, all around.

“Now, I’m a little out of practice, but I like a challenge.” Melina slowly took his full length down her throat. Giles was amazed. No woman had ever been able to deep throat him. It was one of the unadvertised drawbacks of being well equipped.

Melina sucked and hummed along the full length of him, her tongue flicking all around. Her soft red hair spilled over his thighs. Giles ran his fingers through it as she bobbed her head. It was not long before the Watcher came quite forcefully, yet she showed no sign of letting off the whole time. Finally, Giles pushed her away and lay panting.

“That... that was the most… amazing thing… I have ever felt.” Giles gasped after a while.

“A girl likes her compliments.” She sat beside him on the couch, leaned over, and started to nuzzle his neck. “She likes other things, too.”

Giles was getting into this idea when there was a knock at the door. “Bloody hell.”

“Ignore it. I’ll make that easy.” She gently nipped his neck and Giles shuddered.

Another knock came louder. “I’m sorry, I really must see who it is.” Giles regretfully got up and fixed his pants with some effort. He opened the door to find Spike.

“What the hell do you want?” Giles glowers. “And how did you know where I live?”

“Like I haven’t followed every one of you wankers around for months in the past.” Spike has never been invited in, so he leans casually against the invisible barrier.

“Go away, I’ve got company.”

“I know.” He looked into the room, craning his neck. “Come on, Mel, I owe you 50 bucks. I didn’t think the old stick would have the nerve to take you up on it.”

“What?” Giles turned to look at his guest.

“You owe me a hundred, Spike.” Her  lovely face morphed into the ridges and yellow eyes of a vampire’s true face. “I tasted his blood.”

Giles reeled back and grabbed a cross and stake off a shelf. “You know her?”

“You might say I made her what she is today. And I don’t believe it, Mel! Did she taste you, Rupert?”

“Get out!”

Melina laughed. “I used the old scratchy ring trick. Can I have some more, Spike?” she took a step toward Giles.

Giles held up the cross.

“No, I told you. We play our game then he’s off limits.” She pouted. “I have plans for him. Leave him alone, or I’ll stake you myself.”

“But I’m horny and hungry… and he’s big. I want to play.”

“Yeah, I caught part of the show through the window.” Spike cocked his head at Giles. “Is that why they call you Ripper?” he asks, smirking.

“Get the hell out!” Giles was blushing.

“Come on, Mel. It’s been a long time since we played together. The Big Bad will make you happy all night. I know better games than Mister Stuffy Pants, anyway.”

Giles followed her to the door, keeping the cross up between them.

“Thanks for the coffee, Ripper,” Melina giggled, cuddling up under Spike’s arm. “I had fun tonight.”

“Now, Rupert, you can’t tell me you didn’t have fun, too. After all, I taught her everything she knows.”

Giles slammed the door behind them but it didn’t completely block out the sound of their laughter.

He put his back to the door and slowly slid down it. “Stupid, stupid,” he said to himself. He had memories of her cupping the hot mug to warm her room-temperature hands and drinking just before kissing him and before… “Don’t go there, you silly man.”

Then the big danger hit him. He invited a vampire into his house. She might come back and finish the job. Rapidly, Giles performed the ritual for uninviting a vampire into a dwelling. He is thankful to still have the spell components on hand from when he blocked Angel out some time ago.

The last words of the rite were said when he spied her ring lying on the table. Wincing, he went to the bathroom and thoroughly bathed himself in holy water. The scientist/watcher in him was fascinated to see the little scratch bubble as if the holy water was hydrogen peroxide.  The rest of him just screamed silently in disgust.

~~~

Giles never saw the redheaded vamp again and never told anyone what happened. He kept it as a private fantasy that he would love to feel what she did to him again. Once in a while he pulled out the onyx ring and wished she would come back to claim it. And, of course, he had to be nicer to Spike than he ever would be, lest the vampire tell the whole story.

Everything She Knows

After a typically exciting Sunnydale Thanksgiving, the Scooby gang had finally gone home. Everyone helped clean up, patch the broken windows, and do the dishes. Except Spike, of course. He remained tied to the chair where he had been all evening. The gang was still weary of him despite his claims that he was harmless and unable to hurt any living thing.

Not being able to physically have any fun, Spike heckled them until he finally drove them all off. So it came to be that Giles was left alone in his bachelor apartment with a 120-year-old once-very- dangerous vampire tied tightly to a straight-backed chair.

“Come on, Rupert,” Spike protested. “This is very uncomfortable. I’ve lost all circulation.”

“You don’t have any circulation, Spike, you’re a vampire.” Giles dismissed him and swept up a bit more broken glass.

“We do so have circulation. It’s a myth that we don’t.”

“You have no heartbeat, therefore you have no circulation.” The Watcher was tired and had no patience to deal with Spike’s juvenile attitude.

“So you’ve had your head to a vampire’s chest for over thirty minutes?”

Despite himself, Giles was interested. “No, what are you telling me?”

Spike looked smug. “I’m not telling you anything unless you put me somewhere more comfortable.”

“Oh for…” Giles looked around. “I have some chains.”

“Kinky watcher!”

Giles just glared at him.

“That will be fine. You know, give me what I want and you can have your own interview with a vampire. Your diaries will be the reference work all future Watchers consult.”

“How will I know you’re not leading me astray?” Giles cleaned his glasses as he considered this offer.

Spike shrugged. “What do I have to loose? I’ll only be talking about myself.”

“The information you give me could be used in the future to improve vampire slaying techniques.”

“I doubt that. Buffy already has it down to a science. And those storm trooper wankers probably have a big database themselves. Not that they would ever share it with you.”

Giles saw the truth in what his captive was telling him. By rendering one of the most notorious vampires around harmless, the military has done the Watcher’s cause a great service. They have unintentionally set up this golden opportunity. If he gathered enough information, he could buy his way back into the council. “You do have a point, Spike. Let me find those chains.”

Shortly Spike was settled comfortably in the armchair, bound in heavy manacles and chains.

“I may yet be thankful you came whimpering to us when you found yourself impotent.”

“Watch that! I may just call this deal off.”

“OK. I’ll just chain you in the bathtub so I can watch TV by myself then.” Giles moved to stand up.

“Ok, fine. Kick a man when he’s in the pits. Ask your questions.”

Giles had his journal out and pen ready. “Tell me about vampire circulation.”

“Well, it’s like humans are at a party. We try to say hello to everyone.”

“Very funny.”

“Ok. It’s not so much a heart beat as a slow squeeze. How else do you think we bleed or get hard? Plus, it would all just pool at the bottom like a corpse. Just like a rabbit has a very quick heartbeat and a short lifespan, vampires have an extremely slow heartbeat and long life.”

Giles wrote this down. “You made mention before dinner of what happens if a vampire doesn’t feed for a long time.”

They talked long into the night.

Giles quizzed him about the mysteries of vampire life and missing data that Watchers throughout the years have lacked, and Spike counters with demands. This pattern of question/demand/answer continued for some time with Giles filling many pages of a new journal with his small, neat penmanship. One page was taken up with an agreement list on Spike’s insistence which they both sign, also on Spike’s insistence.

Finally, too tired to continue, Giles filled one of Spike’s demands to have the television left on so he can watch all night and headed upstairs to his loft bedroom. “Keep the volume down, please. I have neighbors.”

~~~

Late the next morning Spike was demanding again. “I’m hungry! I want blood! That gravy you fed me last night had no substance to it. ”

“You said a vampire can go a week without feeding.”

“That’s after a full feed from a live body. Not after being captured, tortured, chased, and tied up for over a week.”

“I have some errands to run later. I will go by the butcher’s then. Besides, there’s no more information you can trade me for favors. I know all I need to about a vampire’s existence.”

Spike threw back his head and laughed. “Stop being so British. You’ve not asked a single question about undead sex life.”

Giles stopped and cleaned his glasses. “Well… um… It’s not an area that would prove … beneficial.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t have to write it down. Let the future watchers find out for themselves. If they can.” Spike raised a scared eyebrow.

“You’re just playing with me, Spike.”

“Maybe, but I can tell you anything you want to know… and in great detail.” Spike poked his tongue out one corner of his mouth with a mischievous grin. “Remember Melina?”

Giles rounded on Spike and planted his hands on the arms of the chair. “Yes. I remember that. Your cruel trick,” he said angrily.

Spike chuckled, his voice low and rumbling. “Do you want to know about her? Think about it, Giles. I taught her everything she knows.” Spike leaned toward Giles as if to kiss him and the Watcher jerked away. Spike laughed at the Englishman’s flustered look. “Maybe I can bring her back and see who is better.”

Giles kept it to himself how much he would love to feel what she did again, how she deep throated him. “I have no desire to know who she thinks is better in bed, you or I.”

“That’s not what I mean, Ripper.” Giles just looked blankly at him. “I mean who is better, she or I?”

“That’s disgusting, Spike.”

“Is it?” Spike shrugged. “If you decide to find out, just let me go. I won’t say anything else about it.”

“Thank you.”

“You know, Ruppie,” Spike taunted, “you’ve forgotten to ask me anything about the government boys and their secret caves.”

“No, I’ve not. Willow is going to cast a truth spell on you later. We’ll have all our information then.”

~~~

A few days later, life in Giles’ apartment had settled into a routine. The Scooby gang saved the world at least once, Spike watched TV and Giles tried to go on about his life around him. It was evening and Giles had sent ‘the kids’ home and filed the books from their latest research.

“You need satellite, Mate.” Spike flipped endlessly through the basic cable channels from where he's chained to the armchair, and sipped microwaved blood from a cheery yellow mug.

Giles paused on his way to the bathroom. “How old is she?”

Spike looked at the TV. “Martha Stewart? I donno. Mid-40’s? Fancy her, Rupert?”

“Not her. Melina.”

“Oh. She’s just a baby. I made her at Woodstock. Dru and I were on the outs at the time." He drank a pull from his mug. "Interesting girl, that. She’s a people-hugger,” Spike had his long-story conversational tone on.

“A what?”

“She doesn’t kill unless she has to. I think there are weak demons just like there are weak humans.”

“So she wouldn’t have hurt me?”

Spike chuckled. “No. She does love a good bet, though.” Spike eyed him. “You surprised me that night. I thought your youthful impulses were long gone. And you cost me a hundred dollars.”

Giles glared at him. “You don’t know me, Spike.” He turned away, then stopped and cleaned his glasses with his back three quarters to Spike. “How does she get by? Um… feed?”

“Same way I’ll have to, I guess,” Spike said disgustedly, hefting his mug of pig’s blood. “Buy blood.” He thought about it. “Of course, there’s always prostitution. Pretty girl like her, or handsome lad like me, we can make merry handfuls of cash that way. Some people pay to have their blood sucked.”

“I’ve heard of that.”

“Another fact I’ll throw in for free: semen is like a power shake to vamps. “

“Really? I guess that makes since. Chemically…” Giles trailed off. “Where is she now?”

“Do you want me to look her up?” Spike had a big smile.

“No. I want to know how long I have to keep renewing the blocking spell for her.”

“She was actually in town looking for me. Wanted to have a bit of the rough and tumble with her sire.” Spike was fully cocky and proud to brag on his prowess.  “Alas, she’s gone on to cooler climes.”

Nodding his head, Giles went into the bathroom, took a nice hot shower, and got ready for bed. He came out dressed in his robe.

“There’s a Gene Kelly movie on,” Spike said, not even looking at his host. “Do you want to watch it with me?”

Wordlessly, Giles took the remote from Spike and turned off the TV. He reached in his pocket and pulls out a key.

“Hey?” Spike started.

Giles just held up a finger for silence and unlocked the chains. Without watching to see if Spike left the house or followed him he climbed the stairs to the darkened loft and lay down.

All was quiet for a few minutes, and then Giles heard Spike move to the bathroom and close the door, the shower running for a bit, then bathroom door opening. The lights went off downstairs. Straining, Giles could barely hear the soft footfalls of a long-practiced stalker crossing his living room floor below. Giles found himself tensing in the moment the other would either leave the house or climb the stairs. He surprised himself by feeling relieved when the bottom step creaked.

He looked to the stairs and saw a naked Spike soundlessly gliding up, moving like a wraith. He closed his eyes when the moonlit form reached the turn of the stairs. The short memory clip of the way the pale, lean body was moving looped in his mind. He started when the silent vampire sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on Giles’ ankle.  It was not the cold touch he expected. He suddenly realized Spike took a shower to warm his room-temperature body.

Spike ran his hand up Giles’ leg and pulled aside the robe when he reached it. The Watcher is startled at the lightness of Spike’s touch. The long fingered hands caressed his thighs and slowly moved upward. Giles could feel himself growing hard in anticipation. The vampire encircled the Watcher’s penis and gently squeezed and pulled until he was completely hard. He lay with his eyes still closed, just enjoying until Spike lay down with the full length of his body against Giles’ leg. The touch of that lean body, so clearly male, touching him, made him draw in a breath and tense up.

Spike stopped. “Should I go?” he asked very quietly.

“No. Please don’t.”

Spike said nothing more but moved his head to Giles’ hard shaft. He licked the full length of it and sucked on the side where the thickest vein stood out. Giles heard a crackle his mind  could not place at once. Spike was suddenly standing beside the bed, his beautiful face twisted to demon visage, his chest heaving, and hands clinched at his sides. The blue of his eyes has blazed into vivid yellow, which almost glow in the moonlight.

“I can’t,” Spike gasped. “It’s been too long since I’ve fed on anything but cold animal blood. All that fresh, hot blood, and it’s right there, just a skin’s thickness away. If I bite you, if I even think to hard about biting you, this bug zapper in my brain will completely spoil the mood.”

Giles just looked at the demon a moment and reached into the drawer of his bedside table. Spike braced himself, expecting to me staked. Wordlessly, Giles takes out a small onyx and silver ring and carefully makes a little scratch near the head of his penis. “Will that help?”

Spike morphed back to human in surprise. “Yeah,” he breathed. “That’s… wonderful.”

Spike lay back down, reverently licked the beads of blood, and sucked on the scratch just a little. The vampire purred in satisfaction. He pushed the Englishman’s legs apart and moved to kneel between them. Giles resisted. “I’m not after your virtue, Ripper. I just need a better angle.”

Spike folded his feet under him and rose up. Practiced lips took in the head and the cool tongue lapped in circles around it. The human’s hips rose, wanting more.

Giles had closed his eyes, distanced himself from the idea that it was William the Bloody doing these tender things to him and tasting his blood. He was not without experience in having a vampire take his blood for pleasure. No one in Sunnydale knew how many twisted things he did in his youth in pursuit of pleasure and the real reasons behind the nickname Ripper will stay, he hoped, buried.

His hands drifted of their own accord to the back of Spike’s shower-damp head. Clean and free of gel, the vamp’s hair was surprisingly soft.    

Slowly, so Giles can savor it, Spike took him down his throat. Then he started to work the muscles in his throat, and to swirl his tongue in the limited space it had. The vampire tasted the blood along with the fluids dripping down his throat and purred. Giles could not hold out very long and came hard. Spike held him pinned with no problem.

When Giles weakly pushed his head away and lay quivering, Spike got up, pulled a blanket over the apparently asleep human, and headed down stairs. He had not taken two steps when Giles called out. “It’s you.”

“It’s me what?” Spike answered over his shoulder.

“You’re better than she is.”

The darkness hid Spike’s cocky grin as he went to finish watching the movie and raid the fridge.