NOTHING
IS FOREVER 8
by
flaming
muse
Xander was still in bed at eleven o'clock the next morning,
though he had been awake for some time. He lay on his back, hands behind his
head, watching the shadows slowly drift across his ceiling. He wasn't brooding,
and he wasn't thinking about the previous night. Instead, he was very
deliberately not doing either.
He had learned to make his mind a blank
back when Sunnydale was destroyed. They had spent weeks making frantic plans for
the immediate future, dealing with necessities, caring for the wounded, and
mourning the dead. Sometimes the pressure had gotten to be too much, and he had
had to find a way to let it all go, if only for a little while. With all of them
piled into Angel's creepy hotel, there was no real privacy for screaming or
crying or even for building something, so he had learned to escape into his
mind. It wasn't meditation, exactly; it was just a way to block out everything
and simply to drift away.
As life had gotten more settled and the
survivors had found new homes and jobs, Xander's need to block things out had
dwindled. He no longer needed the crutch. Yet, he had fallen back on it that
morning, and it annoyed him. He had had sort of sex with an incredibly hot guy
who had been responsive and straightforward and didn't stay around to hog the
covers or to use up all the hot water in the morning. Xander knew that most guys
would have been thrilled, but, instead, he was brooding. Or not, because he was
carefully not thinking about anything. Especially not Spike. Especially not why
he was dissatisfied with what had happened with Spike.
The ringing phone
broke him out of his not-brooding, and Xander rolled over to pick it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Xander!" At the sound of Willow's voice, Xander
flopped back against his pillows and shifted around until he was comfortable
again. "Did I wake you?"
"Nope. How's life in jolly old
England?"
"Wet, cold, full of teenage superheroes, and freakily peaceful.
I expect an apocalypse any second. How are you?"
"Oh, fine. The
building's still on schedule, the bosses are pleased, and we've got a bunch of
people flying in next week to see our work. We're due for an apocalypse, too.
Probably Wednesday."
"That's the day of the party, right?"
"Yep."
Party. Work party. At Spike's restaurant. Not thinking about Spike. Not
thinking about last night with Spike.
Xander sighed before he could stop
himself.
"Is something wrong? Are the plans not going well?"
"Oh,
no. Everything's fine. Cassie has it all under control." He tried to inject real
enthusiasm into his voice.
"Xander..."
"It's fine, Will,"
he said. If he listened hard enough, he could hear her thinking about how to pry
it out of him.
"Okay." She sounded unconvinced. "So, have you met any
cute guys lately?"
"Is sex all you can think about?"
"I do sleep
with twenty underage girls," she said, laughing.
"You know, if you put up
pictures on the internet you could probably fund the Council for a
year."
"Do you think they'd like the 'falling asleep while brushing our
teeth at night because we're so tired' pictures or the ones where our hair is
standing up on end in the mornings?"
"I'm pretty sure they won't be
looking at your hair," Xander said, grinning.
"Men are so
predictable."
"We can be. So how's the new dorm coming
along?"
"It's nearly done, thank the goddess. Did I tell you we're naming
it Revello?" Willow asked.
Xander smiled wistfully.
"No. That's
great. It was a home to all of us... at the end literally. I don't even want to
think about how many fire codes we were breaking. What do Buffy and Dawn
think?"
"She got all teary when Giles told her. Dawn was more mature and
just squealed and jumped up and down."
"When can the girls move
in?"
"If there isn't another delay, about a month," Willow said.
"Twenty-six and a half days. Not that I'm counting."
"You must be
relieved that you'll get the house back to yourself."
"You have no idea!
The past two months have been giving me flashbacks with so many of us crammed in
here. At least we have more than one bathroom. But soon it'll be just me and
Giles. I can't wait for it to be quiet again."
"How's Giles holding up
under the teenage siege?"
"He's being very British about it. Lots of tea,
disapproving sniffs, and frantic cleaning of glasses when he sees something he
doesn't want to. There has even been a 'good lord' now and then."
"So
he's loving every minute of it?" Xander grinned.
"Oh yeah," Willow said.
"He won't admit it, but I think he likes being the man of the house. He'll miss
them when they move next door."
"I still can't believe you're putting
Andrew in charge of the dorm."
"He's very responsible, and he's turned
into a great cook."
"But he's Andrew."
"They'll only be
next door. How much trouble can they get into?"
"Do you remember how he
redecorated my kitchen to look like a salsa bar because I mentioned that I like
tacos?" Xander asked. "You should, because you helped me repaint it. Remember
the four coats of white it took to cover the huge chili pepper on the wall?
Remember how we had to patch the ceiling because he used super glue to attach
the sombreros to the plaster?"
"It was cute," Willow said.
"It was
a rental property!"
"Well, we own Revello, so he can do whatever he wants
with it."
"That's what I'm worried about. At least I'm thousands of miles
away so I won't be the first person you call when you need to fix something,"
Xander said. He paused for a second. "Probably."
"You know we don't think
of you as Carpenter Guy, Xander," Willow said. "You do know that,
right?"
"I do. Sorry. I guess I'm grumpy today. I didn't sleep
well."
"Big night last night, Mr. Casanova?"
"Oh yeah. I had
dinner with Cassie."
"And?"
"And what? I walked her home. Gave her
a big smooch on her front porch right in front of her husband. He gave it a 9.4
but said we should have used more tongue."
"I'm willing to bet that the
night was still young. You're telling me that hot, single-guy you didn't go out
on the town and find some other hot single guy for some smoochies with
potential?"
Xander's mind raced. He wasn't willing to lie to Willow, but
he couldn't tell her what happened last night. He wasn't even sure
himself.
"I didn't go out on the town," he said carefully.
"Aha!
So there were smoochies!"
"Willow -"
"Don't lie to me,
mister. I can tell from here that you're fidgeting." Xander stopped toying with
the edge of the blanket. "There were smoochies. Tell me all about it. Is he
nice? Is he cute? What's his name? When are you seeing him
again?"
"Willow -"
"Just because we aren't in the same town
doesn't mean I'm not prepared to deliver the shovel talk."
"You won't
need the shovel talk."
"Oh, he may seem perfect now, but a good threat
will help to keep him in line."
"You won't need the talk because there's
no relationship," Xander said firmly.
Willow paused, and she was overly
cheerful when she spoke again.
"Well, that's okay. Nothing wrong with
that, as long as you were safe. You were safe, right?"
"I don't take any
chances, Will."
"Good. Because if you do I have a whole different shovel
talk prepared for you."
"I'll be careful. I promise. No speech needed,"
Xander said.
"I'm going to hold you to it. So you had some
relationshipless smoochies with a guy last night, but you don't sound happy
about it. What was wrong? Did he have halitosis?"
Xander rubbed his hand
over his face and let out a heavy breath.
"No halitosis. There's not much
to tell. We got together, stuff happened, he left. That's it."
"Oh, the
old love 'em and leave 'em. Welcome to the world of dating men. Why did you
think I switched sides?"
"I'm beginning to think you had the right
idea."
"Did you really like him?" Willow asked.
"I should have
known better, that's all. He was really up-front with what he wanted
-"
"I bet he was."
"He was really straightforward
-"
Willow giggled, and Xander tried again.
"He was really
honest about what he wanted," Xander continued, "but I guess I was hoping
for more. I thought we had a connection - god, that sounds stupid - but I was
seeing something that wasn't really there."
"So he wasn't the one. Don't
worry about it. You'll find your guy."
"I don't know.
Maybe."
"You're young, Xander. You don't have to settle down
yet."
"I know." He stared blankly at the ceiling.
"But you want
to."
"Sometimes. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing something wrong by
wanting to be in a long-term relationship. I mean, what's the hurry, right? I
rushed into things with Anya before I was ready, and I sure screwed that up. And
what's wrong with having fun? I've got to focus on my career, and I sure don't
want to have a bi-coastal relationship when I leave Boston. Maybe I'm just
taking things too seriously."
"That's the spirit. Sow some wild oats,
gather ye rosebuds, uh... take the road less traveled..."
Xander laughed
and switched the phone to his other ear.
"You're trying too hard,
Will."
"Sorry. I just want to be supportive."
"You are. I'm just
not sure what I'm doing. As usual."
"And you'll figure it out. As usual.
Just don't push yourself too hard, Xander. All you do is work, especially now
that you're there. You need to relax."
"Yeah.
Probably."
"Definitely. What are your plans for the day?"
"Besides
staring at the ceiling? Not much. I don't even have any work to do."
"A
day without work? I've heard of such a thing but can't remember ever having
one."
Xander shifted onto his side and pulled the blankets further up his
chest. "Then let me distract you. Tell me everything about what's going on with
you. No detail is too small," he said and settled in for a long
talk.
*
By the time Xander returned to work on Monday he was
feeling better about the whole Spike thing. They had enjoyed themselves, and it
was over. Spike had been very clear about what he had wanted from Xander, and he
had gotten it. There was nothing else to think about.
At least Xander now
understood why Buffy and Anya were so drawn to Spike even though he was evil and
could be such an ass. Boy, did he know.
So when Cassie told him that they
had a meeting at Cold Comfort that morning to sign off on the final plans for
Wednesday's Hallowe'en party, Xander wasn't bothered at all. He was a
professional, and it's not like anything else was going to happen. Besides, the
meeting was at ten-thirty, and Spike would be sleeping.
Anne led them to
a table in the back when they arrived, and Xander didn't even glance around the
restaurant to look for Spike. He was calm, he was cool, he was unworried, and he
repeated that mantra silently to himself as he followed his
companions.
"Let me get the paperwork. Do you want anything to drink?"
Anne asked.
"No, thanks," said Xander. He shrugged off his
coat.
"Some water would be nice," Cassie said.
"Okay. I'll be
right back."
By the time that Cassie had pulled her notebook and pens out
of her briefcase, Anne had returned with a glass of water and a manila
folder.
"Do you have a final count for me?" she asked as she
sat.
"One hundred twenty-six for the buffet plus two special dinners,"
said Cassie.
"One nut-free and one vegan, right?" Anne asked, flipping
open the folder and checking her notes.
"That's right. I'll be sure to
point them out to you when we arrive."
"Great. Thanks. They'll be in
costume?"
"It's not mandatory," said Xander, "but most everyone will
be."
"In this case it'll actually help us. Telling my servers to watch
out for Cinderella and the lumberjack is easier than saying the blond guy in the
blue suit and hoping that they guess right," said Anne.
"See?" Cassie
said to Xander. "I told you that the costumes were a good idea."
Xander
groaned.
"It's a conspiracy," he said. "You're in cahoots with the people
at the main office, and now you've gotten to Anne, too."
"I'm a corporate
spy," Cassie told Anne, grinning. "It's shameful all the things I have to report
back about Xander."
"And she won't even let me bribe her," Xander
said.
"I feel for you," Anne said. She turned her attention back to her
notes. "Now, are there any changes to the menu?"
"That's all set," said
Cassie. "We decided on three serving stations plus passed hors d'oeuvres and a
dessert table, right?"
"Yep," Anne said. "And the bar is fully
open?"
"That's what the boss wants," Xander said.
"Okay, then. I
think we're all set," said Anne. "I'll just need your signature in a couple of
places, Xander, and we're good to go." She pulled out two sheets of paper and
slid them across the table. "I'll give you a minute to check over everything
before you sign it. I'll be back in a sec."
Xander and Cassie
double-checked the information, and then Xander signed in the marked spaces.
Cassie pulled a company check out of her briefcase and placed it on top of the
papers.
"Thanks for handling this," Xander said as they waited for Anne
to return. "You've been great."
"It's my pleasure," Cassie replied with a
smile.
"Anne! What the bloody hell are you doing out here? The beer
supplier's here, and he's got the wrong..." Spike trailed off as he stormed
around the corner and didn't find his assistant manager at the table. He blinked
at them for a moment. "Oh. Sorry."
"Anne will be right back," Cassie
said.
"Right then. Would you send her to see me when she's done here?" he
asked. He didn't acknowledge Xander with more than a brief flicker of his
eyes.
Xander fidgeted with the papers but refused to be cowed. He
scrambled to think of something nonchalant to say other than some comment on
Spike's sleeping habits, but he was saved by Anne's arrival.
"I'm here.
What's up?" Anne asked.
"The beer supplier's brought the wrong IPA again,
and I swear I'm going to rip his head clean off his shoulders if I have to
listen to his excuses one more time."
Xander wondered if the threat was
serious or just some of Spike's colorful hyperbole. He really had no
idea.
"I'll get Jason to take care of it," Anne said.
"Where the
hell is Jason, anyway? I've been looking for him all bloody morning," Spike
said. He craned his neck to look around the restaurant.
"I think he's in
the kitchen, and I'll tell him to see you when he's done. Don't worry about the
beer. We've got it under control."
Spike took a breath and nodded. He
seemed to deflate slightly as his anger began to dissipate, and he ran a hand
through his hair.
"Thanks, luv."
"No sweat. Can you guys stick for
a second?" Anne asked Xander and Cassie. "Let me get Jason on the job, and I'll
get you your photocopy. It'll just take me a minute."
"No problem,"
Xander said.
Anne scooped up the signed papers and the check and rushed
back into the kitchen.
"Sorry to interrupt," Spike said.
"That's
the restaurant business," Cassie said. "There's always some
crisis."
"Don't I know it."
"Just like old times," Xander
muttered, and Spike glared at him.
"Did you two know each other before
you came to Boston?" Cassie asked.
"Not well," Xander said.
"Too
well, if you ask me," said Spike, crossing his arms over his
chest.
"Well, it must be nice to see a familiar face," Cassie said
tentatively.
"Yeah," said Xander.
"It's a bloody
picnic."
The two men glared at each other until Anne rushed back to the
table.
"Here we are," she said breathlessly. She handed the photocopies
to Cassie. "You're all set."
"Great. Thank you," said
Cassie.
"It's our pleasure," said Anne.
"We'd better get back to
the office," said Xander. He pushed back his chair and pulled on his
coat.
"I wanted to thank you again for walking me home the other night,"
Cassie said to Spike as she slid the paperwork into her briefcase. "It was
awfully nice of both you and Xander."
"Can't have you getting hurt, now
can we?" Spike said. "There are all sorts of things that go grunt in the
night."
"I thought the expression was bump," Anne said.
"That
too," Spike said, curling his tongue behind his teeth and raising an eyebrow at
Xander.
Xander felt the heat rising in his cheeks, but he didn't look
away.
"Too bad the biggest excitement of the evening was finding a cat in
my stairwell," he said.
"I seem to recall you getting pretty
worked up at the time," Spike replied.
"Over a cat?" Anne
asked.
"I wasn't the only one," Xander said, his eyes still locked with
Spike's.
"Was it big?" Cassie said.
Spike shrugged.
"Wasn't
bad," he said.
"I wasn't all that impressed," said Xander. Spike's
nostrils flared.
"You bloody were at the time, and you didn't get to see
all it could do."
Xander fought back a grin.
"Well, it ran off so
quickly..."
"Must've gotten a good look at you," Spike said with a
disdainful glance down Xander's body.
"Was it a stray?" Cassie
asked.
Xander blinked and broke the staring match.
"What? Oh, I
don't know. I have no idea what it was doing there," Xander said. He glanced
back at Spike, who was still glaring at him.
"Well, you should be
careful. Even the nicest cats can bite," Anne said.
"Biting's not my
thing," Xander said.
"Don't knock it 'til you try it," said Spike. "But
don't let us keep you from your work."
"Okay. See you on Wednesday,"
Cassie said.
Xander didn't let himself relax until they were outside and
a few yards down the street.
"That went well," Cassie said.
Xander
rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. He had seen Spike, and he had held his
own.
"Yeah. I'm glad it's over."PART
9
