Collective Experience: part fourteen
by Josie_h
Notes

 

It was their last night together – or strictly speaking, their last twelve hours since it was already three am - and yet this was only the first real night together since their mating. Despite an overwhelming feeling of lust and love spinning through their link, Xander couldn’t help but let anguish and dread creep in as he contemplated their coming separation. He had seriously considered asking for time off after the eye pain fiasco, and was sure Jim would agree, but the inner ‘adult’ Xander had squashed the idea. He was needed at work, and Spike had promised it would only be two weeks, he’d promised… Just while he ‘tidied up some affairs’. This adult, responsible, well educated, business savvy aspect of Spike continued to surprise Xander. The very rich recluse, William Aurelius; the ‘running my own investments’ capably, enigmatic ‘young’ Mr Aurelius; the hundred and fifty years plus of life and unlife, learned poet, turned internet using prose writer; the cultured, intelligent, well read William who could apparently be conjured at will but was usually buried under the Spike persona. Xander was fascinated by all of them – and loved Spike all the more for the complexity.

 

“You comin’ up for air anytime soon pet? ‘Cause that brood’s a doozey…”

 

“Oh god Spike… sorry… just thinking… nothing bad… just thinking…” He trailed off.

 

Spike rolled on top of his ‘thinker’, pressing their erections together in an effort to distract. Xander turned his head away from Spike and stared at the wall, the epitome of misery. Remembering the tearful footpath scene the last time one of them departed for the airport, Spike resolved stronger measures would be needed to pull his mate from his funk. He remembered an old game mentioned in passing and apparently played by Willow and Jesse and his boy many when they were children. So took a punt and put his own spin on the same idea.

 

“Anywhere but here.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Well you *obviously* don’t want to be here with me so….”

 

“Oh geez! Sweetheart! No!! It’s… The problem is… I just want to be here… only here… with you… and I know you have to go and… and…” Xander stopped, took a deep breath then began again. “It’s just … ahh Spike… I’m *so* pathetic… I…  dammit!... I’m just terrified that if you go, that’ll be it… OK!?! I just can’t lose you. Not now, not ever. And the whole partnering thing and now… Gahhh anyway… England!” Xander’s demeanor suddenly changed and a hopeful brown ‘puppy dog’ eye fixed on Spike’s baby blues.

 

Spike was utterly thrown, “What?”

 

“England! You and me. Once you’ve finished what you need to do, let’s… Well let’s call it a holiday, a honeymoon… you know! What couples do, when they’ve… coupled. And come on! Willow and Dawn will be…” Xander trailed off.

 

Looking at the rather incredulous expression on his lover’s face, he realized that the former Sunnydale crew all assumed (as he had) that his lover was dust, if not after the Sunnydale amulet, then certainly in the final confrontation with the senior partners. In the excitement of the past couple of months, he had failed to inform Willow of his ‘outing’, and also realized rather belatedly, that he had never really shared fully on the whole Xander and gender preference front, nor any issues with his scar. And given all that, the idea that he and Spike were now married in the vampiric sense would certainly be quite a ‘surprise’.

 

Spike completed the sentence flatly, “They may not be too happy pet. Ever the outlaw, never the inlaw luv… Don’t see ‘em embracin’ the idea of a vampire stealin’ their prize boy, can you?... C’mon luv… no holiday needed… I know you feel like you’re..”

 

“Spike *please*! Please let’s plan something! You coming back is great but… I can’t lose you again. Not now!… I feel like you’re going to walk away with half of me and… and…” Xander’s voice hitched as he tried to swallow around the large lump in his throat. In the absence of the eye patch, he lifted his hand to his ear and twisted his earring frantically, “I just can’t do that. I *can’t* lose you… not again… not again…” Xander could hear himself begging and felt an overwhelming sense of panic that he knew was bordering on ridiculous.

 

 

“What’s all this ‘losing’ business pet? There’s no losing… Can’t you feel it? The connection? Surely…?”  In that moment Spike realized his own error. They had not exchanged blood since their first vows. “Bloody hell, I’m a complete prat!”

 

“And for those of us that don’t speak Spike that means?”

 

“Means you need to take some of this, pet.” At which point Spike tore open his wrist and thrust a dripping limb at his partner.

 

The true depth of connection with Spike had yet to be explored by the brunette, but the boy who had been ‘anti-all things vamp’ in high school, was now utterly drawn to his lover’s crimson gift. As he placed his mouth on the dripping wound and began to draw out the fluid, holding his own wrist out to the now purring vampire. Spike laved the offering, punctured the skin with the utmost care, drawing the precious fluid slowly as he continued to purr.

 

As the blood cycled from vampire to consort and back, Xander regained the sense of … calm. He continued to drink and became aware of other sensations that seemed to originate from the blood. Love… Home… Completeness... Relief… Love... Desire… Comfort... Regret… Love… Concern… Adoration… Lust… Love... Protection... Possession… MINE... Forever… Love…

 

This time, consuming his lover’s blood, vampire blood, felt different. This time it was not associated with the (admittedly glorious and loving) sexual act of consort coupling with his partner, but something equally profound. Xander *knew* the connection, knew he would miss Spike as someone might miss an… eye. But also knew that this part of him would return always, because this part of him, the Spike part, felt the loss and desire equally.

 

The human finally pulled off the wrist, matched almost to the moment by his partner’s action. The two bloodied mouths crashed together and hands found their partners’ aroused matching parts. Spike settled on top of his partner again.

 

“God Spike… You in me now… please!? You in me.?”

 

“Nahhh pet let’s share.”

 

Spike spun a hundred and eighty degrees and swallowed his partner’s hardness to the back of his throat, lifting his own hips just a little to indicate the intent. Xander responded without thought. He took Spike to the back of his throat, swirling the tongue from base to tip and back, then swallowed as though Spike were water in a desert.

 

Both men groaned as completion approached, reciprocal digits breaching equally tight sphincters, and climaxed simultaneously as prostates were stroked by a lover’s knowledgeable finger in time with the pull of an adoring mouth.

 

Cool seed shot down Xander’s throat, warm spurts were swallowed by Spike. Both men laved and cleaned their partner, then rested a moment with the soft organ still held gently by the recently demanding silky sheath. Xander nuzzled the soft curls, enjoying the musky familiar scent of his partner as he gradually released Spike, and felt a similar action occurring at his own groin.

 

He swiveled, caught his lover’s mouth and kissed him soundly, mixing their essences one more time, then pulled away enough to stare down into his partner’s adoring eyes.

 

“I love you… I will always love you… and I will miss you… but you need to do this so we can be together again… I know that… *please* be safe… *please* sweetheart!...”

 

“Will love…”

 

“Project will finish this week, next tops… I’ll come to you if you want… But Spike?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Everyday… OK… you have to ring every day… and Email… and…” Xander broke off and simply hugged the blonde as hard as he could. “I’ll be OK… need you every minute but…”

 

The conversation trailed off into kisses and gentle petting.

 

Spike’s shower readying for the flight home was marked by dual coupling, neither partner wanting to miss one last connection, the being filled or the filling, before they were torn apart by circumstance.

 

As he was breached, it was Spike’s turn to weep. He had taken Xander swiftly and soon after they entered the cubicle, his human leaning easily against the tiles, back slightly arched and legs spread ready. But when it came Spike’s turn, he needed more. He needed to face his beautiful boy, to wrap his legs around the firm waist and use Xander’s strong grasp to achieve the enthusiastic thrusts and stimulation needed… Even then, the vampire was fine… that was until he looked into the loved chocolate eye, and drowned in the depth of devotion he saw directed at him.

 

As Xander shuddered his completion and Spike saturated their chests with seed, the vampire let go the flood gate of emotions that had been bottled for days. Xander pulled the smaller man into an even closer hug. He let the blonde’s legs down gently, then held the smaller man tight to his chest and peppered gentle kisses across his partner’s beautiful face. Even vulnerable and upset, Spike would always be beautiful.

 

As the water from the faucet cooled, Xander flicked off the tap and wrapped his emotionally spent partner in an oversized fluffy white towel.

 

Spike had hardly moved, his head was hung low as Xander found his own towel. Spike finally found his voice, “’M worse than a chit… Sorry pet… didn’ mean to… not when that was so…perfect… Ahhh bollocks… ‘M sorry pet… ‘s all…”

 

It was Xander’s turn to be the strength. He caught his lover’s chin with one hand and forced their gazes to meet,  “I love you and I trust you and we will be together in 14 days.” Xander’s eye twinkled as his face broke into a genuine smile and he added, “336 hours – 20,160 minutes give or take, depending on flights… and you know sometime after that we *are* going to go to the UK for that honeymoon right?!”

 

“*England* pet, we’ll be going to *England*.”  Xander couldn’t help but catch the correction and the tacit agreement to the plan, smiling at the minor triumph.

 

The rest of the evening was quiet and pleasant though rather… businesslike. Bags were packed, taxi was ordered (Xander not sure of his ability to drive), airport attended, security navigated, final desperate farewell… survived. Xander stared listlessly at the passing Sacramento scenery on the return to his empty apartment.

 

He let himself in to the silence, registered the flashing signals, noting three voice and one video mail ready for pickup. He deleted two blank messages, watched Andy and Kelly’s cheery invitation to dinner ‘to cheer you up’, then burst into tears at the final call.

 

“Hey Xan, I know you’ll be home now and I’ll be on the plane. Just want you to know how much… How much I love you and need you. I’ll see you soon yeah? There are a few things I left behind – please don’t be upset. And there is some stuff coming for you too.  334 hours right? Love you pet… always… love you.”

 

Xander angrily swiped away his own tears as a loud banging on the door interrupted his ‘moment’. He hit save on the message and opened the door to a very large, slightly blue colored individual. “Consort of William, Aurelius Master?”

 

“Umm yeah… I guess”

 

“The Master has instructed that I deliver this.” Two huge hands thrust a box and *enormous bunch of flowers* into the stunned human’s arms.

 

“I am Jamielle. The master has requested that I assist you should you need protection. I am a good fighter, he knows this. Here…” With that Jamielle thrust a business card with all manner of contact methods on it.

 

“The Master Aurelius has engaged my services as payment for my debt to him. Call… Any time you need me. I am honored to serve his consort.” With that the ‘bodyguard’ bowed his head slightly and withdrew. Xander stood frozen to the spot for some time, balancing business card, bouquet and box whilst wondering what manner of debt was being paid off… What heroism (or mercenary killing?) had Spike engaged in for the last two weeks to earn such loyalty?

 

Xander deposited the flowers in a large vase and turned his attention to the gift box. He opened the first, only to find a smaller exquisitely carved and polished wooden one within. Xander turned his attention to the card lying on tissue beside the walnut colored prize.

 

My Love,

 

It may be some days before we meet.

Each will be an eternity.

I am the moon to your sun.

And you complete me, as I do you.

 

Wear this

I care not where,

But perchance it is on the finger

You wore it for so many years,

So it is a fine thing and fitting.

 

You know this is the seal of Aurelius.

You are one of our line now.

All who honor our line will bow to you.

The ring, like you, will not suffer separation from me for long.

 

You have my love and my pledge to return.

You will receive its twin when I do.

Be well my love.

 

William ~ Spike

 

 

Xander opened the box to reveal the seal of Aurelius – it seemed to be perfectly fitted to his ring finger size, and sported an enormous garnet cut with the Aurelian crest.

 

Xander pushed the prize onto his finger and collapsed onto an empty bed. He was vaguely conscious that it was only eight o’clock at night.

 

Spike was gone, nothing else mattered.

 

 

 

Collective Experience: part fifteen; the epilogue

 

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