<<<<<<<<< Amicitia quod Solor (Friendship and Solace) >>>>>>>>>

 

What was Harris on about? He *was* sensitive to ‘slayer central’ decorum but Spike was becoming increasingly agitated by the apparent need to constantly ‘justify’ to the entire household, the shift from mutual antagonism to solid close friendship that Xander and he were experiencing. He figured it was wartime now. Any affection displayed should simply be seen as caring and sharing with a mate, natural friendship between fellow soldiers, nobles oblige – that sort of thing. Oh sod it – even the Greeks ‘n Romans knew that.

 

Leaning up toward the open basement door, Spike shook his head, wondered at his level of desperation then bellowed for the second time,  “Bloody hell Harris! Will you just get down here…. Got summit to show you …..is all.”

 

So it came out like a demand, rather than the intended invitation. Spike pursed his lips, and spun to pace again, hands on hips, returning to the stairwell as an afterthought….. “And don’t blooming-well bring anyone else with you either – just you Harris, got it ?!”

 

The consequent sound of feet on the basement stairs were definitely female.

 

[Ahhh Bugger!]

 

“Hey Man….Are you seriously trying to push these guys to stake you? ‘Cause gotta say Spike….. doin’ a damn fine job… What’s with the yelling?”

 

Faith – at last, a bint with more than two brain cells still functioning.

 

“ ‘Lo Pet, didn’t mean to disturb you… Just fixin’ to give the injured lad a bit of a surprise, y’ know,  ‘boys at the local’ type moment. You reckon you can keep the troops away for the duration?”

 

After a minute to interpret Spike-speak, she smiled at the former ‘Big Bad’s’ thoughtfulness and replied, “Yeah, ‘s cool. I’ll find the man, but you gotta promise me to go a little easy on him, no betting kittens or whatever, yeah?”

 

“ ’Course,….. just trying to cheer the lad up … figure one eye, no disadvantage in this game.”

 

Faith, was quietly touched by the vampire’s obvious concern for Xander, shrugged her shoulders, then stated “So long as I get to use it and kick you ass later”.

 

She eyed Spike’s new addition to the subterranean space with some jealousy. Consoling herself with the thought that Spike might enjoy going a round or two with ‘someone else’ tomorrow, then headed back up to find the still recovering Xander.

 

Spike heard the pad of bare male feet on the steps, eyes betraying the self satisfied smile that was currently hidden by the ‘unreadable’ expression he had worked so hard to perfect. He knew that Andrew insisted on wearing his ‘slippers’ in the house, Giles’ loafers never seemed to come off [wonder if he has sex in them?] Spike quickly shook off the thought and concentrated on the task at hand…

 

“Spike?” Xander had one hand firmly planted on the railing and as its proud - and now thankful – creator noted the solid pine and craftsmanship. The unaccustomed tilt of his head to ‘judge the steps’ threw off his balance a little, and a residual shakiness from the anesthetic and ‘meds’ highlighted his awareness of status as invalid. Xander tried to straighten and look casual as he began a monologue, more to calm his own nerves than sound witty.

 

“What? You needing to check if us optically challenged types can ‘do stairs’ or something? Well just FYI, human seeing in the dark? Really not affected by depth perception. Hello, just challenged in the number of eyes department not the brain c…..”  Xander halted at the last landing.

 

He was greeted by the image of a cigarette touting Spike, clad in the usual black jeans and t-shirt, casually leaning against a pool table, twirling a pool cue.

 

“Hardly think I’d have you down here for the fun of it did you? Just figured someone should rescue you from the carers for a bit…. ‘s only so much bloody Florence Nightingale a bloke can handle before going balmy…. You up for a game?”

 

Xander could have sworn he heard genuine concern in the tone, mused that ‘The Big Bad’ really was slipping these days, swiftly concluded that the additional soulfulness and too many hours of ‘Passions’ could probably do that to a guy, then shook off all such thoughts to make his way toward the object of ‘pub’ desire.

 

“When did you…?”

 

“Bronze, yesterday.” Spike grinned, satisfied that the lad was obviously impressed.

 

“Seeing as the lovely folks of this here city are movin’ on, figured they wouldn’t be needin it, so might as well have it down here. Fixed us with a few free beers as well, as they were on offer.” The vampire pointed casually at the corner of the basement where several cartons of welcome amber liquid awaited attention.

 

“You went looting??”

 

“Who said anythin’ about looting - this is *clearly* requisitioning in times of war!”

 

Xander’s feigned annoyance was ruined by the broad smile as he captured Spike’s spinning cue, and positioned himself to casually break the new game ‘triangle’ with the white ball.

 

“Very suave, you git! Care to inform a chap prior stealing his nearest and dearest next time?!” Spike’s mock agitation was accompanied by eyes twinkling with relief and enjoyment as he recognized a confident, good natured friend replacing the self conscious, maimed Xander who had resided upstairs since the vineyard ‘skirmish’.

 

Xander lined up a shot easily, good eye sighting down the cue, and tipped the number five ball expertly into a waiting pocket, his choice of “Smalls” defining Spike’s game objective.

 

“Don’t think I need to try out for the Special Olympics just yet, Bleach boy. The pirate chic makeover is simply to put the great undead off their game.”

 

“Oh please, sinking the first ball does *not* get you out of the needy basket, Cyclops. So what’s the wager?”

 

“You are *so* not going to get me down here just to do me out of beer money in the middle of an apocalypse Spike!”

 

Spike leaned back on a wall casually, lit another cigarette and caught Xander’s eye through the new smoke, answering quietly and very seriously, “No mate, really just wanted to do som’t for a comrade ‘s all. Least I can do right? Couldn’t take out preacher boy in time… ” Spike trailed off, looked at the floor, then snapped from melancholy to wiggle a suggestive eyebrow and add with a smirk, “ ‘Sides, figure you’re hardly good for the family silver.”

 

Spike pocketed his first ball with nonchalant ease, took a second, then stepped back to wait his turn, “Well mate, why don’t you and I just pretend the rest of the world don’t exist while we’re down here then. No harm, no foul and all that rot….?”

 

It was Xander’s turn to raise an eyebrow. He had expected some additional agenda – or at least a mildly sarcastic remark but looked around to see a fellow fighter, equally convinced that their imminent demise might be at hand and keen to share the denial of that same possibility. Spike flicked the small CD player on, and drowned out any female footfalls from upstairs with a surprisingly inoffensive blues number.

 

Spying the bemused look of his companion, he simply commented “Figured you’re not one for Messers Rotten and Co….  Well have the courtesy to not look *so* surprised would you!”

 

<<<<<<  Of Obscurum quod moeror (of darkness and grief) >>>>>>>

 

Some three beers and four games later the score stood at two games all (with Spike graciously ‘missing’ several obvious shots). The mood had shifted to one distinctly less adversarial, and discussion sliding toward easy reflection. Xander was currently staring at Spike’s fine boned fingers caressing the neck of his fourth beer. They were scholar’s hands and now distinctly devoid of their customary silver adornment, bracelet missing and all rings apparently replaced by a single gold one. With the slow down in play at this late hour, the lull in conversation was edging toward awkward, he decided to risk filling ‘the gap’.

 

“ K …. Worst and Best…..”

 

“Sorry?”

 

“Worst and Best experiences, Willow and I used to do it – you pick a day of the year and tell the worst and best memories …”

 

Spike exhaled loudly, stared at the ceiling, sighed heavily again, decided that present company was preferable to a silent basement, despite the request for a ‘reveal the real me’ conversation. Apparently preparing for the worst as balls were racked ready for a new game, he stared at the formation for some time, finally muttering under his breath, “Five Gold Rings – bloody Christmas carol.”

 

Xander hardly caught the words but couldn’t miss the tone, and wondered at his own stupidity as his pool partner flashed him a pained look. Playing Confessions 101 with a hundred and twenty something, ensouled vampire might not prove the most jovial accompaniment to a pool game.

 

“Hey, dumb idea, leave it... we don’t need to do the share a thing….” His voice tapered off as Spike began to talk quietly. The blonde was staring at some unknown point in the dark corner of the basement with both hands clasped tightly around the pool cue, repetitively twisting the garnet and gold ring on his middle finger.

 

“The darkness and damnation of December.”

 

Xander had the courtesy to look puzzled but remained silent.

 

“Fifth day of Christmas, 1861 - bloody awful year, foggy and raining for nigh on seven months… any wind from the south carrying the stench of Thames mud all across London. Putrid sewer in those days… Father died on that day, typhus they said, same thing as killed the Queen’s better half  ‘pparently. Must’ve picked on blokes called Albert that year.”

 

His voice hitched a little and the commentary paused just long enough for Xander to recognize the wry statement as a well rehearsed, stiff upper lip, auto response.

 

“Was always just the two of us for Christmas after that, no flashy fare or visitin’. Remember the present that year though.... Mother wasn’t much for presents ‘course – too common or some such… always gave me one...Never missed….  That year she wrapped it in one of his kerchiefs with a black ribbon - father’s familial ring. She insisted I put it on, told me I wasn’t to cry ‘cause I was the man of the house now, then took to her bed. Never seen a person hurt like that before.….Had to wear the thing on my thumb for ages.”

 

“God Spike, how old were you?”

 

Dark lashes lifted to reveal blue eyes brimming with barely contained tears, “Seven.”

 

Xander reached out reflexively, placed a warm hand on the shoulder of the story teller, and was met with a clear glimpse of the grieving young William in Spike’s expression. Momentarily leaning toward the touch, Spike recognized the comfort offered for what it was, and graced Xander with an appreciative, openly thankful, half smile.

 

“Your turn mate…. ‘s your game and I’m *not* doin’ the Dr Phil thing without you getting in on the act… without some reciprocity here!”

 

Mood effectively broken, Xander shifted to the table and following Spike’s conversation quipped, “Gotta watch those five syllable words Spike, wouldn’t want folks knowing you’re well educated or anything!”

 

“Master bloody vampire mate, course I’m educated! Some poncy bugger Angelus made sure of that – not to mention a hundred or so years on me savvy onesy”

 

“Save the pirate speak Spike, we all know you’re a librarian in disguise.” This time the good humor and slight relief that they were back on the usual banter was conveyed in the smiling eyes.

 

“Oi! None o’ that! Here’s me barin’ me soul and you start in with the aspersions.”

 

“Thank you for coming ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case! Behold, the scholar!”

 

“Oh please!” Spike took a stab at the white ball, effectively scattered the contents of the table, and sank one of Xander’s balls along two of his own.  “So, worst or best…. Audience is waitin’ here.”

 

Xander saw the flick of yellow through the usual blue of the vampire’s human face and knew he needed to continue the game he’d started without further delay.

 

“K, Christmas…. Not really the fifth day I guess – but this is kind of the best and worst story I can think of at the moment – besides, short of ‘Lord of…’ it’s the only ring story I can think of to segway with….”  Xander suddenly realized he was babbling rather than telling, paused, took a breath and then began again.

 

“I guess it’s the last Christmas I remember with family around – not just the oldies, but you know, a *whole* family, aunts, uncles, tree, that sort of thing….”  He took another shot, missed, then turned his back on the game and continued.

 

“She was the Aunt with the moustache – Agnes – hated her name, but she was my mom’s aunt… and she always smelled of violets for some reason. Her hug was all about acceptance and belonging; I remember getting lost in it, cause my ears had gotten blocked with warm flesh; I swear I was the youngest person to say a prayer for support bras – was the only thing that kept me breathing courtesy of the gap commonly termed ‘cleavage’!

 

“Her arms had big soft layers underneath – and they seemed to cover your whole body… and she always called me her ‘favourite boy’…..” Spike was shaken from his thoughts of similar cherished yet long dead relatives, by the sight of two crystal tears tracking from Xander’s good eye.

 

“She was always knitting or embroidering something… That Christmas she gave me my first ring ever, straight from her sewing kit - think it was actually left overs from making curtains or something…. I remember being *so* pleased ‘cause I was looking through the bag with all her crafty bits and found it and she just handed it over… was shiny, and I knew not really gold, but it looked like the one Willow wore…so had to be a valuable on some level.”

 

At this point Xander paused to mumble, “God I haven’t thought of this in years…

 

“Anyway we never saw her again after that year, Dad managed to yell at her *and* piss off the rest of the family in some stupid row over the relative real estate values in Sunnydale verses LA. Mum blamed the ‘punch’ later – but even at six I could count by twos so long as it was gin bottles.

 

“ No one would come near us after that and the holidays kind of took a down turn……

 

“Found out she died a couple of years ago – would have liked to say thanks before… y’ know.”

 

It was Xander’s turn to take comfort. Spike recognized the combined scent of loss and long borne misery rolling from the boy, so did the same thing as worked for his own mother, swiftly pulling the lad into a tight embrace and holding fast.

 

The tacit permission from a friend – albeit soul possessed demon – simply served to open floodgates. Xander’s silent release, soon escalated to body wracking sobs for himself, his aunt, and the whole mess that his life had apparently been to date.

 

Hitched breathing quietened and between hiccups Xander managed to grind out “Lost the ring, came home after school one time and Mom had cleaned away it from under my pillow. Said it was ‘just as well’ when I got a bit upset…” Another tear was accompanied by a sigh as Spike sat them both down on his bed and continued to gently stroke the broad back.

 

They stayed in that position for some time until finally Xander sniffed, wiped his nose on a sleeve, then without looking directly at Spike, straightened and moved to leave.

 

“Hey….Spike…. um….. thanks, uhhh sorry ‘bout the um, weepage…..”

 

“You don’t mention it again pet and neither will I.” The answer sounded casual but when Xander glanced up, he found genuine concern in the eyes of his erstwhile masseuse.

 

“Thanks….. night Spike.” With that Xander plodded up the stairs, opening the door to the unwelcome cacophony of high pitched voices.

 

 

<<<<<<<Admiratio quod motum (surprise and affection)>>>>>>>

 

The following afternoon, Xander quietly bowed out of the ‘crisis’ meeting upstairs that had somehow degenerated from battle strategy to slanging match over the ‘morality of eating the last one of someone else’s popovers’ and ‘naming etiquette’ for freezer contents. Obviously critical in their battle plans for defeating the original evil….*or not*!  Xander ventured down to the private ‘pool room’ – noting the addition of dart board and two strategically placed billiard table lamps ‘jerry rigged’ to the cross beam and obviously non compliant with just about any municipal electricity safety law he could think of. He couldn’t help smiling at the handy-vamp of the month – fondly remembering that there had been a crypt with hot and cold running television not so long ago.

 

Spike was already well on his way through a third beer playing solo, lined up a shot, and struck perfectly as Xander descended the last two steps. Having spent the better part of three hours earlier in the day trying to reassure a certain head slayer of her self worth and capacity to ‘soldier on’ in the face of adversity, Spike was genuinely pleased to hear the click of the basement door and careful male footfalls signaling casual company and the distraction of a game or three.

 

“Pretty sure Churchill managed to avoid the pop tart policy meeting prior to D-Day,” the player causally quipped as Xander moved to retrieve a cue from the rack, newly tacked to an adjacent wall.

 

“Figured you’d give me the ‘wide berth’ after yesterday…..” Spike took the lit cigarette from his lips and wave a vague ‘whatever that was last night’ sign in Xander’s general direction.

 

“Hope you appreciate the new décor by the way.…” distracting himself gesticulating at the additions to the ‘Billiard Room’ interior.

 

“Hey Spike, look….. we could all be dead in a few days right – well obviously you have the jump on that status but…. Last night…. Well….. thanks, OK? “ Xander, for a moment looked like the sheepish Scoobie of old – but for the patch. The battle scar that would endure as ultimate reminder of his innocence lost…..

 

“Ah hell Harris… just get your tight ass over here and gimme a decent game would ya?!”

 

Xander grinned, nodded, then proceeded to knock three balls pocket bound in quick succession.

 

“Ohh, ho! ‘Pot Black Master’ has arrived, I see! Thousand ‘pologies mate - mistook you for a one eyed donut boy from Sunnyhell.”

 

Xander feigned horror at the suggestion, but immediately followed with an open and genuine smile as single brown eye met a blue pair directly. Spike unwittingly dropped his gaze in an uncharacteristic move reminiscent of William’s shyness, and retrospectively hoped the boy hadn’t realized his embarrassing slip.

 

Trouble was, Spike had been alone since the lad stomped upstairs yesterday. All by his ‘savvy one-sy’ …again, left to ponder the previous day’s confessional and consequent embrace. In every incarnation, Spike had been a tactile creature, and truth be known, one who reveled in expressing his feelings, of all varieties, blatantly. The difficulty lay in the boy offering him an opportunity to reveal the past in relative safety, but to bloody well follow it with warm, supportive touches, no wonder too much of the ‘real William’ had spilled out.

 

The reciprocal rescuing embrace from the pain for the younger man could only be seen as natural reaction. Problem was, as the day progressed, Spike oscillated between dismissal of all things ‘emotional’ and a growing, and now desperate desire to connect. Impending doom notwithstanding, there was *something else* there.  This was no longer one of the Slayer’s lackeys, age and life had molded a courageous, loyal and capable man. Impending probable demise at the hand of the First seemed to have distilled what was ‘important’ for them both.

 

Thoughts of Angelus, Dru, even Buffy, only served to highlight that Spike needed the touch of another person right now, to feel…. Love of any variety (apparently now brunette colored and in the ‘carpenter’ package) prior to departure from this plane, was fast becoming an agenda needing attention. And though gender had never been an issue, he wasn’t so sure of Xander’s inclinations in such matters.

 

The rest of the day had been spent reading bits of the Illiad, sipping JD and contemplating his moth-like attraction to dark haired individuals over the centuries.

 

“You still in there Spike?”

 

Spike snapped from his reverie, realized his borderline brood and turned to face his… friend.

 

 “What you reckon, can we do a proper wager so’s I might divest you of land, liberty or shirt off your back?”

 

“Information”

 

“Come again mate?”

 

“Information Spike – you know, I’ll wager you a truth or dare. Winner gets to ask or set the task.”

 

“Not much I don’t already know ‘bout you pet.”

 

“Oh I have depths buddy, you’re looking at onion guy here, plenty of unknowns…. And hey! Who says you’re going to do all the asking anyway?”

 

“Y banter’s is breathtaking luv… Can we just get on with the bloody game?”

 

An hour later and Spike found himself distracted watching the other player move around the table with growing fascination. So much so, that he genuinely lost the game. 

 

“K….. Truth”

 

“You’ve *got* to be joking!”

 

“Nope, c’mon Spike pay up….. Look I’ll make it easy…. Tell me your..um… all time favourite Christmas.”

 

“Alright whelp but we keep playing yeah? And the teller requires another beer.”

 

Xander grabbed another ‘Bronze donated’ bottle from the bar fridge, threw it to Spike, then proceeded to extract balls from their channel under the table and set up for a new round.

 

“London 1895, us living it rich in a huge old place just east of Hyde Park, plenty of servants in those days – strictly speaking, minions but hey, ‘s long as someone did the dirty work, right?!”

 

“You were a vamp by then?”

 

“Too bloody right mate – favored childe in the most famous line in Europe and 15 years of fledging done with.”

 

Spike leaned forward and took a shot before continuing his ‘truth’.

 

“Member doin’ endless parties then, rich folks always tasted of port and champagne that time of year…. Easy pickin’s.”

 

“First I say eww, then I put the 3 in the top pocket.”

 

Spike took another swig of beer and continued, “Yeah well, truth you said…

 

“Darla and Dru insisted on a tree that year, huge monstrosity, covered it in red and black bows then near set the bloody thing alight when Dru lit candles all ‘round it.”

 

“So far, *so* not seeing a point here Spike – thought the request was for ‘best ever’ Christmas. You’re not telling me you got off on tree having?”

 

“Patience pet, workin’ up to it yeah… Christmas night the girls headed out on their own, Angelus and I were left to our own devices… Loved running with him in those days, bloody magnificent…

 

“Hunted southside that night – docks always good for a quick, cheap meal – then took a ride ‘round the city, just him and me. He told me then…. that after 15 years I was still his favourite, pulled a ring off his own hand and put it in mine, then kissed me good and proper…. Was like kissing God…. “ Spike’s voice lowered as he trailed off, “Ancestral seal of Aurelius on my finger, and kissed by my god…”

 

Xander, who had been transfixed and motionless for the last few seconds, knocked his own cue.  As it clattered to the ground, Spike was pulled abruptly to the present, sniffed, looked over at Xander and shrugged.

 

“Yeah, well….. gods come and go, I guess”

 

Lost in his own thoughts, Xander pondered his own ‘favorite moments of ‘seasons to be jolly’. He finally settled on the ‘boys’ Christmas in junior high school when he and Jesse had taken a tent and set up camp in his backyard. They had exchanged gifts, filled up on sugary goodness, and talked for most of the night. He remembered waking comfortably spooned behind his best friend, both still in sleeping bags, and Jesse hadn’t asked him to move. All had seemed right in the world at that moment.

 

“C’mon you git – I win, pay up!”

 

“Wha..?” Xander hadn’t even noticed that play had continued let alone he’d lost this round “Oh… sure, um…”

 

“I said dare… Dare you to do something that you’ve always wanted to try but never had the nerve. Has to be in this room – oh…. and *no* staking the help!”

 

Xander thought for a moment, grinned wickedly, then moved to stand directly in front of Spike swiftly leaned forward and placed a chaste but confident kiss on the vampire’s lips. He stopped momentarily to note the rather stunned look on the blonde’s face but then matched it with one of his own as a cool hand slid up to caress the nape of his neck and pulled them together once more. This time, a cool tongue ventured over his lower lip pushing for entry, once granted, Xander completely lost himself in the moment, allowing loneliness and fear to translate to a passionate exchange.

 

They finally broke contact and stepped back a little, both somewhat ‘thrown’.

 

Spike finally clearing his throat and venturing a barely audible “Was nice pet, must say, unexpected….. but nice.”

 

“Yeah well, guess I dared, huh.”

 

“Care to dare again sometime?”

 

At this Xander looked up to see an eyebrow wiggle and a mischievous glint in the smaller man’s eyes – but there was also a true fondness there. He wondered how he had failed to noticed that before.

 

 

<<<<<<<< Fidelitas quod Fides (Loyalty and Trust) >>>>>>>>>

 

A rather disgruntled Xander stomped down the stairs for the third time that day. After the confusing incident with Spike in the afternoon, he’d removed himself from the basement to spend some time pondering the meaning of the ‘vampire-kissage and the liking-of-the-same’.

 

The ‘ladies’ upstairs seemed to have decided it best for Xander to stay out of the ‘line of fire’.  Anya vehemently pointing out that his seniority as Scooby was outweighed by his human fallibility and injury, suggesting rather loudly that he was now ‘neither asset nor ornament’ in battle and therefore had no place in the strategy meetings. The last straw came when Andrew suggested he “go get some shut eye – pun intended” which had actually drawn some sniggers from the younger slayers. Xander had retreated from the meeting without comment.

 

He was genuinely enjoying the time with Spike and figured they might as well expand their repertoire of activity to include snacks and movies. Still needing one hand on the rail when descending steps, Xander had taken two trips to carry in the supplies.

 

“Hey, be nice to the man with the entertainment and give us a hand with these would you?” 

 

“Sure mate, just tryin’ to get the bloody DVD hooked – what ya got anyway? Not watching another bloody Arni flick with you!”, adding almost as an afterthought “Yanks never *could* do comedy!”

 

“Oh ye of little faith… or global understanding! You happen to be looking at a proud life member of the ‘Geeks of Sunnydale’, and! Black Adder ‘aficionado’.” Xander punctuated the statement by depositing the collection of Atkins, Python and Red Dwarf DVD’s mid table of play.

 

Spike’s trademark look of derision, though short lived, left Xander no choice but to move the offending pile to beside the television, not before noting that the vampire’s gaze had casually catalogued the titles for later ‘viewing on demand’. It was Xander’s turn to smirk.

 

The dart game had been far more enjoyable than expected, with Xander discovering his friendly vampire to be quite ticklish, twice managing to cause his opponent the embarrassment of missing the board completely.

 

“Bloody hell, you sodding cheat Harris! That’s it!! Keep your hands to yourself or I’ll rip your arms from their sockets and use them to beat you to death!” Spike’s eyes flashed gold, though it wasn’t until he saw the crestfallen demeanor and registered a genuine apology that he realised that something else might be amiss.

 

He watched as Xander made his way to Spike’s cot and sat down heavily.

Spike dropped the ‘annoyed’ act and moved to sit beside him.

 

“s OK mate, was just kidding ‘n all….. but I figure you got some’t else on your mind.. Care to share?”

 

A litany of stories of rejections, lost friendships and fears sprang forth, finally ending with his frustration over a lost eye and his now ‘unwelcome status’ upstairs plus a general desperation for friendship and connection.

 

Spike watched as the boy calmed again, noting that he repeatedly twisted a gold wedding band obviously kept after the botched ceremony with vengeance-girl and wondered what drove the need to keep that symbol of bad times.

 

“Know what pet – you need to let things settle for a while yeah.” He flicked on one of the ‘Adder’ DVDs, deliberately left the sound low and shifted the conversation to something more distracting.

 

An hour or so later, Spike blew a thin plume of smoke upward then exhaled the rest hard and stabbed out the cigarette – apparently resolved. They had been discussing their most unusual climaxes – goodness knows why, thought Spike – the lad was as boring as blanc mange in the vampiric picture of carnal relations! Still, he’d listened with patience, only once letting the highly bemused look permeate an otherwise unreadable poker face. (Fortunately the lad had been so engrossed in his story of ‘Cordy and the broom closet’, that he failed to notice the raised eyebrow and incredulous smirk.)

 

In the light of this discussion, Xander continued to mull over his own response to the kiss that afternoon. Finally asking Spike if they could talk about ‘it’.

 

“What the hell is ‘it’?”

“You know, ‘it’ Spike… the whole gay loving thing. The kiss on the lips ‘it’. The ‘it’ between vampires….. I mean you do seem to have ‘broader tastes’ than me and God… there is so much I haven’t tried …. and…. damn Spike – I really liked ‘it’. And was just thinking that….”

 

“Oh hell Harris, there’s nothin’ wrong with a couple of fellas distracting ‘mselves in the middle of a war with a bit of personal exploration.”

 

Spike turned to face Xander directly “Look, do you trust me? Then we do this my way, ‘n real slow for the breakable human, yeah?”

 

Xander nodded, looked down at his hands and muttered “I really do…. Trust you, you know.”

 

“Well good, because you’re gonna have to trust me lying down………Told you – takin’ it slow, now strip off and lie on your front”

 

Spike busied himself on the other side of the basement while Xander did as instructed with relative privacy.

 

Face in a pillow that smelled vaguely of Spike, Xander felt the bed dip as Spike moved beside him and lightly stroked his back. When there was no flinch or protest, Spike began to massage it in earnest. He leaned over and grabbed a bottle of oil from the floor by the bed, dropped a generous amount into his hand and proceeded to dribble the cool fluid into the small of the back.

 

Despite the obviously relaxed status, the boy’s muscles bore the tension of months of worry, fighting and very real fear. They were the strong, thick muscles of a man who had worked manually hard; muscles that had seen too much hunting and protecting; muscles that were strengthened by pain. Spike’s thumbs systematically relieved the tension across the tanned shoulders, followed on to neck and nape of hair, all tended with strong caring strokes. Finally the back was kneaded from base to skull, always pressing hands tenderly from out to in.

 

Confident in the contented human clay of his creation, Spike finally straddled the prone figure and began to acquaint himself with the maleness of these limbs. Nice to feel thick muscles again, he focused in on the rhythm of his own hands… it had been a long time since he’d ‘treated’ another body like this – even longer since that body was male – and there was ‘a line’ that needed to be tested each time before being crossed.

 

He paused as he found Xander’s upper thigh, leant down and whispered “Is this still OK?... I can stop….?”  The tentative question linked to his own unwritten rule –  this could *only* happen if the friend still welcomes it – because no games were to be played, no extra agendas sanctioned, this was about adding pure physical pleasure to the genuine burgeoning friendship – a gift given with grace; the touches exclusive to this someone special; all were ‘consent only’ actions. Xander implicitly understood, nodded slightly, then relaxed further into the bed and groaned out a welcoming, “s’ OK.”

 

Educated fingers began to work the inner thigh, higher and higher finding the folds and creases, then moving out again to work the tension from the hamstrings and up to the lower back.

 

Xander relaxed into the firm rhythmic touch… his masseuse leaned forward and whispered into his ear….

 

“Is it still OK?......Do you want to play – I mean…are you up to it…. or you wanna be done?”…..

 

A very quiet “Hmmm..s’ OK” indicated some sort of agreement, so he moved down the legs further… His massage recipient felt the hands begin to gently knead and rub around tender knees, then focus on the strong calves, back up and down…..

 

It was dark when he woke some hour or so later to the surprising feeling that an index finger was slowly etching a figure eight around his balls, careful never to apply pressure, while another hand continued its firm path over the small of his back and down each leg in turn. Spike sensed the boy’s return from slumber and could feel he was struggling not to react, but the slow pulse that throbbed near his fingers betrayed the body and its growing interest…..

 

Leaning forward, Spike ran his tongue along the tip of the boy’s ear then whispered “Hey, figure from what you said that you have never done this with another bloke yeah? So, happy to stop if you want… You need to go back to sleep or would you up for adventure?”

 

A very relaxed groan into the bed covers was the only reply….

 

Still not sure he had a ‘yes’, he gently bit Xander’s ear lobe, heard the hiss of approval then watched with a grin when arms moved above Xander’s head as he simultaneously rolling onto his back

 

“So…. You let me do the drivin’ yeah….? We stop as soon as you want luv – your call.”

 

One hand traced circles down the tanned torso while the other teased Xander’s left nipple, at the same time the right nipple was laved by a willing tongue then the hand and mouth swapped – this time alternately sucking hard then biting delicately. All the while Spike’s second hand moved to stroke slowly down between muscular buttocks and around increasingly sensitive groin – always careful to avoid the boy’s obviously growing erection.…

 

Spike slithered down the body until his nose was nestled in the patch of wirey dark curls and evidence of Xander’s interest, just within touching distance… for his tongue.

 

“Here is something that should be familiar… though I still reckon a bloke has a better idea of what works.” With that he pressed his tongue flat on the root of the erection, and measured its length in a series of hard licks. It occurred to Xander that the tongue felt cool and for some reason, much wetter than that of other partners, and even more strange – he was not in the least concerned that it was Spike.

 

Xander reveled in the delicious sensations. He was just beginning to log the ‘differences’ with other partners when all such comparisons ceased, and he gasped as Spike took mushroom top into his mouth and teased the very end with tiny flicks the tongue. The cool lips proceeded to purse gently, gripping the ridge and tickling the underside of the head lightly with a simple shift of lip muscles, then finally, released grinning, as Xander pushed unconsciously forward seeking more contact. Spike repeated the act, heard a sigh, the finally starting long sweeping (and satisfying!) strokes up the entire length. Each pass to the top saw him swirl his tongue around the tip again, then flick across the small slit, deliberately lapping circles over the vein as he traced it back to curls for another pass. Xander was struggling for control as he felt a hand cup then pressed his balls gently toward his body, suddenly realizing the truth in Spike’s claim of same anatomy advantages in a lover.

 

Spike’s tongue departed, and Xander’s quiet murmur of disappointment was short lived as his balls were in turn, engulfed in the cool mouth, sucked, laved by a firm confident tongue, then left as a trail was licked back up his body concluding in a whisper in his ear.

 

“K that’s your starters pet, seems like you enjoyed it, yeah? … Still, up for something new? Promise you’ll like it….” The tongue pausing momentarily before continuing its trace around the ear, down behind the lobe then tickled a trail down the adjoining neck as Spike coated fingers with some sweet smelling cream that had apparently just ‘appeared’ on the side table. Xander’s now rather distant thoughts registered raspberry….

 

Spike pressed the heel of his hand lightly onto the evidence of the boy’s arousal, he paused to caress the side of the shaft with a feather-light touches using the back of his hand then continued on down. He shivered at the feeling of the cold substance as Spike moved the fingers down the crease of his backside and toward the puckered entrance, sliding them deliberately over his perineum and stroking the sensitive skin.

 

Xander bit his lip in anticipation, suspecting what was coming next, but still let out a low groan when a lubricated finger pushed past sensitive pucker and cool mouth took his whole length to the back of a throat then slowly retreated to the tip. Sphincter muscles clamped down against the invasion and he threw his head back, panting a little for breath. It was (were he to be honest) a little more bold than expected, though nothing he and Anya had not tried before.

 

Spike leaned back up…. "Relax for me" he whispered, and began to stroke his new bed buddy from the inside with one finger. With his other hand, he teased the underside of the erection with feather light touch in an achingly slow tempo up and down the vein, then placed his mouth back on and took the shaft fully to the back of his throat swallowed, then sucked as hard as he could.

 

Spike’s lustful groan during this act sent a shiver through Xander, also letting him relax around the intruding digit. Timing the withdrawal of the finger with a particularly strong down stroke of his mouth, more lotion was added to the invading digits. Before he could tense up again, two fingers slid inside. Spike stilled for a moment to let Xander adjust then commenced a slow movement in and out, perfectly matching the rhythm made by the mouth taking his solid erection deep to the depths of his cool throat. Xander’s world jolted as the encasing throat swallowed hard….

 

Spike’s other hand was busy roaming, alternating fluttering touches with firm pinches and light scratches, teasing already sensitive nipples, left to right then tickling a track down to his navel. The hand circled the belly button then moved down to find an inner thigh.

 

Spike began to thrust harder with his fingers crooking them slightly as he went, seeking the magical point to demonstrate to his charge *exactly why* the male body enjoyed this. He felt for the firm internal nub, stroked it hard and sent bolts of pleasure through his charge. Xander arched on the bed, shuddered, then let out a strangled “Oh God, Spike …. More!” Spike grinned around the member in his mouth, crooked his fingers again, and continued to press and brush against it with every thrust.

 

Apparently having lost the power of speech, Xander’s attempt to beg emerged as a series of cries and groans. Spike’s answering growl around the shaft in his mouth, simply served only to heighten the most exquisite torture. Xander’s world was swiftly distilled to that talented cool mouth, the sparks coming from within, and the fire burning from his groin outward. Just as he thought he might pass out in bliss and need to come, Spike varied the timing, placed his free hand around Xander’s warm sack and literally squeezed the climax from him.

 

Swallowing as fast as he dared, a dribble spilled from the corner of Spike’s mouth. He gently laved the perineum and licked his sated friend’s swiftly softening sex. Xander looked down with slightly glazed eyes to see Spike lick the last little spill from his chin, then he felt fingers withdrawing slowly and gently, brushing the over the now too sensitive area. This time it elicited a hiss and protective tensing from the recipient as nerve ends protested their *far* too ‘touchy’ status.

 

Spike crawled back up the bed tugging the sheet with him, put a chaste kiss on the boys chest then cheek and fell back onto the mattress.

 

“Hmmm nice…..” he grinned and rolled toward Xander to gauge the after effect….

 

Virtually asleep, Xander managed to roll into the spooned embrace, casually threw an arm around Spike’s waist, pulled the slighter figure closer and muttered a just audible “Yup….Nice.”

 

The vampire purred in his most seductive baritone, “Y know, be even better with you ‘sleepin’ over’ tomorrow night and the next when we’re all done with the First…. Celebratin’ be an adventure with *you* pet!”

 

<<<<<<<<<<< Bellum, veneratio  quod diligo (war, respect and love) >>>>>>>>>

 

He’d had to ‘send the lad home’ eventually, but only after a kiss that screamed promises for the coming day and firm hug that spelt friendship …. So Xander returned the following evening – this time, struggling down the narrow staircase with the mattress from an upstairs double futon and accompanying bed linen.

 

Spike had tried hard not to smile too broadly when Xander had enthusiastically agreed to the concept of the ‘sleepover’. And grinned broadly as the boy proceeded to explain, at the usual morning meeting of the household upstairs, that he ‘just needed some quiet’ and ‘male bonding type stuff’.

 

Xander’s announcement had been met with only mild surprise by the audience present. The fact that Andrew had immediately pouted and begun whining complaints of how he should also be allowed to sleep downstairs, concluding with the quintessential “Anyways, I should so be down there, ‘cause it’s like Piccard cutting out Number 1 in the heat of the Borg invasion…. Bad things happened…. And I so count as the manly man?… just as much as Spike?……. thank *you* mister!’. All said whilst attempting to untie his apron with oven mits still firmly in place. This little display followed by Xander’s pointed “Dare you to say that to Spike’s face”, effectively silenced any other queries regarding the “whys and wherefores” of Xander choosing to spend so much pre battle time of late with the former target of all his ‘cutting humor’.   

 

Spike now looked toward ‘removalist ruckus’ on the stairwell, “Planning to stay, pet?”

 

“Well…… you did offer, and I….” Xander paused half way down, suddenly unsure that his arrival was what Spike wished. Reassuring smile flashed his way and he proceeded with gusto.

 

As the afternoon moved on, the pool table was utilized again, and conversation again became interspersed with long periods of comfortable silence. Click of white ball on coloured while one or other player leaned casually on the upright at the base of the stair, took on a timeless quality. And for Xander any question of ‘other’ orientations, angst over lost body parts, nerves regarding new experiences, or troubling thoughts of mortality were temporarily banished. Spike was a true friend….. and they were playing pool…. Nothing else mattered

 

“So when did you get your nipples pierced?”

 

Xander’s cheeks immediately flushed scarlet, “What?.... um …. Few months ago…. But… How did you know??”

 

“Don’t get me wrong – just wondered. Can see the scars – only tiny mind… Just curious as to why….”

 

With blush fast threatening to reach his ankles, Xander took a deep breath and admitted his post jilting-Anja penchant for pain and marking himself….

 

“Nothin’ wrong with that, mate. All get ourselves a few quirks when love goes wrong…. But why’d you let them heal over?”

 

“Dunno – just guess it was kind of symbolic…..”

 

“You keep the rings?”

 

Now Xander’s voice took on the huskiness Spike had enjoy, “Yeah, you can have them if you like…..” then ventured a shy “I think they would suit you…” He reached down to the pocket of the duffle bag now housing all his remaining clothes, scrabbled around for a few seconds then presented Spike with two gold circles.

 

Spike stared at the faded Tshirt covering the broad chest and the open expression on his erstwhile companion’s face he held out his hand and accepted Xander’s offer. With his other hand thrust into his pocked he fisted the amulet Buffy had handed him earlier that day, and silently pledged to make the boy feel…. wonderful… tonight….whatever it took. 

 

They all knew the coming fight was going to be fierce. Buffy had allocated tasks earlier that day, so daunting in their scope that none of them were in any doubt the journey to meet the First was likely a final one for some of them. This time was precious, and that Xander was choosing to spend what could be their last night on earth with Spike, touched him deeply.

 

Spike realised he had absently heated a mug of blood during his interim ‘brood’, drank it quickly then turned to the corner of the room where Xander had set up the ‘share bed’ and was now lying spread-eagled and surprisingly nude (!) but for the corner of a sheet slung around his waist. He was apparently freshly bathed judging by the fruity scent, and appeared… ‘warm, comfortable and relaxed’. And now Spike was anything but, as evidenced by his rapidly tightening jeans.

 

Xander turned, winked and almost purred, “So, we going to play?”

 

With that Spike let out a feral growl of delight and moved to join the delicious figure on the bed.

 

He started slowly, speaking low into the boy’s left ear with a gravelly undertone.

 

“You talked last night about some being 15 or some such. ’Dry’, ‘instantaneous’, ‘no actual contact’, ‘never happened before or since’ and ‘staring at lino’???” ….

 

Spike pondered the possibilities….It was a hell of a challenge and the *only* bit that made sense was the fact that the kid had been 15 years old when it happened.

 

“This may take some experimentin’ but if your up for it, I’ll see what I can do….”

 

It was all Xander could do to nod – words suddenly departing with his own blood – all taking up residence in the groin area.

 

“You reckon it might have been about context? You thinkin’ ‘bout ‘objet de luxure’ for too many days without ‘relief’ or summat?…You *do* know that eventually it wouldn’t matter who it was that turned up, just s’ long as they took the edge off it right?”

 

Spikes tone dropped an octave, so close now to a purr that it evoked a shiver with every sentence.

 

“I guess I’ll need to work up to actual ‘relieving’…. It may not even be needed ‘cause you know…. we want you on the very edge of coming again and again…. Want you so hard, that all worries disappear, and you only have one reality….

….Until your body begs for satisfaction, and every nerve end is enveloped by the need for completion…

….When all other thoughts are overruled by the all encompassing drive to attain ultimate release…

…Until you finally do tip over the precipice, then pass out with relief… ”

 

His eyes closed, as Spike continued in a slow, purring tone, “There is nothing but this now, right now…. No tomorrow… no work…. no worries….just you…your body and all the pleasure it can bring…. this is all you are….” 

 

Xander felt the cool breath as Spike *almost* nuzzled his neck and became aware of the instantaneous shift to game face then back again as his neck was caressed by ridges, then jaw line lightly brushed by the ‘human’ nose.

 

“You will forget *everything* except your nerve ends,….”

 

His left nipple felt the feathery touch of cool torso…..

 

“Your arousal…..”

 

Spike shifted his weight leant down hard, apparently intent on pressing down on the bulge evident under his towel with his own obvious erection, then chose to fall just short of making contact…..

 

“The sensations from your skin…”

 

He pushed himself up the body, flicked the right nipple with the very tip of his tongue then blew over the same, sensitive pebble…..

 

“Your muscles doing as nerve ends demand, ….” 

 

He lifted a little, blew another cool stream over the sensitive dark hairs just below Xander’s navel, then returned to the measured monologue.

 

“You are going to *be* simply your own exquisite tingling groin…..” 

 

Xander felt the gentle removal of the sheet and noted a tickle as the very tips of platinum locks brushed his inner thigh.

 

“Live only for the breathless anticipation….”

 

He felt weight shifting again and a cool stream of air caress the tip of his arousal….

 

“Find relief in panting your ecstatic climax……”

 

Still not quite touching him, Spike’s hands ghosted over the skin of the boy’s inner thighs and groin, causing hairs to stand at attention at each pass…..

 

“Then lie sated in the physical and mental silence of the petite morte that follows….” 

 

The body over Xander shifted up again, still not touching.

 

“Your traitorous body at the same time wishing that it feels like this forever…”

 

“And since this is about imagination and the here and the now……

we don’t want you thinking of lying on a broad rug on the edge of a river bank on a warm sunny day, summer grass and wild flowers bending gently in a light breeze…….

Or have you almost hear the rustle of leaves and swish of the water;

the faint scent of pollen; sense the delicate fingers stroking up your inner thigh from your knee…”

 

Xander feels the weight shift a little as Spike leaned toward him – achingly close but still no touch.

 

“And we wouldn’t want you imagining those same fingers tracing lazy circles on the skin just below your belly button, or brushing feather light strokes around the shell of your ear…. Or the tip of a tongue licking the merest caress from base to tip as you harden”

 

Spike blew a gentle stream of cool air over his subject’s groin, and agitated the hairs just enough to increase arousal by one more notch.

 

“And we definitely wouldn’t want you sensing some legs straddling you and wet inviting space moving so close to your sex that you can feel the moist softness even before it engulfs you; nor the powerful climax building as your lover lowers himself onto you, sheathing you in the cool slick channel, so tight…. Then establishes the *slowest* of paces.”

 

“Particularly because…… if you open your eyes and the object of your imagination happens to be in the room…. The sensation of filling him might just bubble over and become reality….”

 

Xander felt the bed shift, a body join him on the bed, and silence reigned for a few long seconds before a husky voice whispered….

 

“May I touch you now?”

 

Xander’s back arched in supplication, he silent begged for the contact and nodded his most definite, yet wordless consent.

 

Spike began tender ministrations and sealed lips around the ridge below the tip of Xander’s sex and sucked as hard as he could, flicking his tongue over the slit.

 

Xander hissed and arched his back. His tutor relaxed the throat muscles and started swallowing, never releasing the seal or stopping the deep sucking. Xander’s sex hit the back wall of his attendant’s throat, then slipping even further in. Spike began a methodically slow progression up and down the shaft. Even with limited experience of such an expert mouth, Xander knew he would last no more than seconds if it continued and was just beginning to regret the enjoyable yet lengthy lead in, when gasp replaced groan as he felt a hand clamp the base of his erection, and firm cuff replace fingers. The seductive commentary stated, “Know your ex had a gold one for this purpose – but my pets find leather *so* much more comfortable.”

 

Spike sat back to admire the tableau then placed one of Xander’s own hands firmly on the tight shaft and encouraged him to stroke up its length while he shuffled down between the thighs, removed his jeans and attended the tightening sac.

 

“Now… let’s see what else is possible.” Spike pulled several items from the bedside drawer, Xander heard the snap of a tube top then a ‘tut tut’ as a dollop of lube dropped onto his chest.  With the slick entry, mimicking hand into silk glove, he felt a slim, lubricated butt plug push into a tight, smooth space..

 

‘You OK with this?’ Spike waited – noting that the boy’s eyes were shut tight but the look did not seem to be one of distress – so he gently continued…

 

‘The trick is to push back against me, pet. Try to squeeze it out; it’ll make it easier for you.’ Xander complied, and the toy moved forward, embedding deeply. Everything was held still for a few minutes as Spike waiting for him to adjust fully. Xander’s face finally turned toward his partner with a look of relaxation and ecstacy… and was rewarded accordingly with a sound petting. ‘Hey mate….. You okay? Feel good? I have other sizes if you feel like playing larger.’  

 

Despite the vehement shaking of the head, there was a whispered ‘Can I change my mind about what ‘way’ I like most, cause…. uhhhh…. This is *really* OK.” 

 

Spike growled out, “Oh Pet, you have no idea……..”

 

Then Spike flicked the switch. Buzzing initiated, the vibrations from the plug managed to scramble all cohesive thought, whilst Xander’s erection reached its own painful conclusion – now hard against his belly, and still bound, Xander found his existence once again reduced to a single imperative – the need to come.

 

Spike started moving the toy with very slow, very drawn out movements in and out of Xander’s ass. Every few stokes he added a little more of the heating lube he’d procured from the ‘everything’s free now’ chemist during one of his ‘shopping’ trips to the Bronze. He experimented to see what Xander liked, tried withdrawing completely, and when the response was a groan of pleasure, played with that for a while, insistently pushing the tip of the plug in and out, teasing the sensitive ring.

 

Eventually Xander could bear the torture no longer and began to push back in earnest. Spike relented, rotated the toy a little and pushed in deeply again vibrating its way past the small, soft swelling that made it ever more pleasurable. Xander’s eyes snapped opened and body jerked as he groaned and hissed his pleasure, ‘There! Just do that…. Right there….Oh G….’ He flung his arm over his face, but Spike pulled it away. No fun unless you could watch that face as he came.

 

Spike continued to find the target with the toy while guided Xander’s hand again to the urgent cock lying between them, smiling that his subject was so lost in the new sensation that he had neglected to tend to this unprompted. Spike deliberately helped him form a fist and kept there hand there, working them together until encouragement was no longer needed.

 

Spike shifted his legs again, this time placing one over each of his shoulders, gently caressing the backs of his thighs, from here he could work the toy, have a spare hand and lick forcefully down the perineum, eliciting joyous buck of hips and “Oh God” Spike simply continued to lave the area. [Luv I’ll answer to anything on a good day]

 

“Hey c’mon Xan, talk to me mate, want me to stop?’ Spike grinned knowing full well that speaking at this point was almost impossible for the boy. The cock ring had done its job and the restrained member was all shades of deep pinks and purples.

 

‘Hmm, good boys deserve presents yeah?’ With that Spike moved swiftly, continuing the vibrator’s rhythm. The restraint holding back his climax was flicked loose, momentarily removing the vibrator as Spike straddled him and leaned forward to maneuver his erection alongside Xander’s then returned the vibrator to its warm passage. He arched and ground the two cocks together. He sensed the pulsations in the twin erections, then felt the tension deep inside release and they climaxed simultaneously

 

He collapsed onto the broad chest, removed the vibrator and felt the boy shudder once more as he gradually ‘came down’….

 

Xander could feel Spike’s smirk against his chest but still managed to mumble, “OK, toys - definitely of the good.” Then promptly fell asleep.

 

 

<<<<<<<<  Spes quod Infinitio (Hope and Eternity)>>>>>>>>

 

A morning glow back lit the curtains over the tiny basement windows. Spike had been awake for a while. He twisted to admire his sleeping companion.

 

If this was to be his last day, then he was just going to enjoy the quiet and try to memorize the feeling of him, the contours, the corded muscles, his scent, all for future reference ‘cause it might help to have that memory as he was likely to be spending eternity in hell after today…..

 

This was indeed the rarest of moments, and he determined it be savored… He ventured a tentative hand down to find Xander’s early morning erection taking form……Spike wondered what he would dream if he were to ‘have a play’, wondered if he would continue to snooze… He wondered if he could manage to get him to climax without waking the lad. It was the morning before the ‘big battle’, nothing to lose really…..

 

Spike’s leg had been resting over Xander’s thigh, he eased it over further and began to lightly rub his bed buddy’s now semi erect member. Pale fingers found the dark curls surrounding, tugged and teased them and lips latched onto the closest nipple for long enough to prompt it to pebble under his tongue….

 

Decision made, he shifted onto his side, eased up to his knees then slowly licked and caressed his way down to the dark curls. Then reached for the tiny brown bottle of oil he’d kept by the bed ‘just in case’.

 

 

{{{{Xander was lying on a warm deserted beach, could feel a light caressing breeze on his skin but couldn’t quite register the other feelings except somehow he knew he was nude. He became increasingly aware of many hands and many tongues massaging and laving his body but seemed powerless to move, even to the point of being unable to lift his head to view the source of the increasingly pleasant sensations.}}}}}

 

Spike felt his boy respond, as hands now slippery with massage oil, moved constantly taking each leg in turn, lavishing attention on toes, feet then legs. He gently eased Xander’s legs apart moving between them, reaching for the left arm and moving it wide of his body. Xander’s right arm was (as usual) already thrown above his head, emphasizing his well defined muscles and an appearance of sheer relaxation.

 

{{{{The beach morphed into the inner workings of a dark bedroom, he was lying enveloped in the softest of beds, still apparently unable to move with a vague awareness that there were restraints holding his arms and legs spread eagled…. A blindfold descended and he registered a shiver of excitement}}}}

 

Xander’s erection now almost at full attention (as was his torturer’s), Spike ceased his ministrations momentarily, checking for signs of consciousness. Satisfied his charge was still asleep Spike proceeded to lick up the vein on the underside of his shaft, stroking the base and cupping his balls ever so gently. He slid his mouth over the tip, careful not to graze it with teeth; he savored the mushroom running the tip of his tongue around the ridge and over the small slit, smiling as he detected the salty droplets at the entrance. He reached up stroking both sides the relaxed face and down jaw line, gradually letting the now rigid shaft slide from his mouth, enjoying the texture of the thick vein slipping past his tongue.

 

{{{{It was warm and soft, the bed seemed to be moving in and all around him, he could hear a strong heartbeat, was aware that he was being caressed. But with a shift in this bizarre dream it was apparent that he had somehow *become* his own hardened member, feeling himself wholly sheathed in a warm mouth aware that his head was being stroked, coaxed and now enveloped  deep inside a very warm, wet, silken enclosure. He was surprised that he could still breathe in such a tight space, but all wonder was brushed aside as an overwhelming urge to thrust forward took him}}}}

 

Grabbing for the tube of lube Spike swiftly prepared himself – not that a little pain would be a problem – but he was still trying to do this without waking his impaler and a dry entry would hardly go unnoticed! Slick and ready Spike straddled his friend gingerly, paused momentarily – again checking for signs of waking, gently lifted the thick shaft to position it just so then eased down. Sliding Xander deep and stifling a groan as the delight of brushing his own prostate confirmed once again that knowing one’s own body could sometimes be an advantage when angles of entry were critical. He leaned forward, grabbing the head board and took some of his weight with his arms then began to ride the boy at an excruciatingly slow pace. He glanced at the clock by the bed; casually wondering how long he could keep this up and whether or not Xander would wake on release. He felt the hips underneath him begin to respond to the rhythm though apparently still in slumber-land and resolved to increase the pace.

 

{{{{There was urgency, a feeling of agitation, he needed to move, and he knew he had opened his mouth to yell but to no avail, then he felt the rhythm start again…. He leaned toward it, yearned for it, reached up to it. The stars were falling toward his knees and gathering, moving up his legs, they tingled and still the rhythm continued and he wanted…. He needed…..  and he watched the stars and the heat and tingles as they moved up through his body through his mind then with a scream he let them burst free…… again and again }}}}}

 

Spike felt the thrusts become stronger, he held his own climax at bay and varied the rhythm a little and angled himself a little higher to force the shaft even deeper with each stroke.

 

Xander came hard with a muffled yell, Spike registering four powerful jets of deliciously hot liquid and several aftershocks inside his own channel, then watched with dismay as a single glistening tear tracked from the corner of Xander’s good eye. Suddenly fearful that he had somehow hurt his friend, Spike caressed the damp cheek with his thumb and contemplated another lifetime without this. He lifted off gently then moved to Xander’s ‘sighted’ side and resolving simply enjoy the moment and hope that there would be no need for ‘damage control’, after all he hadn’t really ‘taken advantage’, had he?

 

Awareness crept over Xander, the warm bed of his dreams dissolved to be replaced by the early morning light and an equally unfamiliar bedroom. He slowly registered that there was a soft cool body lifting off him then spooning his side, and a relaxed pale arm casually thrown over his waist.

 

He adjusted his position a little but remained on his back – one arm still casually resting above his head  - Spike wriggled a little to accommodate the move then threw his leg over Xander’s again, pushing his hips forward. Spike heard a groan and the rumble of what he thought might be approval, simply answering with a self satisfied ‘hmmmm’, which rapidly became purring, breaking *any* illusion of slumber.

 

“Hey” Spike’s voice still a little husky from the purring, but the definite smirk and twinkle in azure eyes indicated to Xander that Spike had indeed been awake for some time, “Finally the rest of you is up…. …. You OK pet?”

 

“Yeah,  ‘m fine… ‘s the time?”

 

“Around seven I figure….. you have a nice dream?”

 

“Hmmmm the best”, came a rather languid reply.

 

“Care to elaborate?” Spike tried his best to appear the epitome of innocence, and failed dismally.

 

Xander’s face broke into a broad grin, “Figure you may already have the Cliff notes, would you like me to relive some of the highlights with you….”

 

“Delighted to keep the dream alive for you mate – might relieve the tension for meself, ya never know”

 

One eye brow raised, he flashed a lascivious grin…. They both knew that the battle was coming and that this might well be their last moments together, so time was precious……. and not about to be wasted. Xander pulled the sheet over his head, moments later Spike felt a heated mouth enveloping his very definitely interested appendage, arching off the bed as his own completion was consumed with gusto.

 

“God Harris… Xander….. ‘f we get out the other end of this, you an I need a really long talk – and possible a condo in San Fran!....”

 

The statement was greeted by a heartfelt smile from the now rather ruffled lover emerging from his sheeted ‘nether region’. Spike took this as permission to continue the proposal that had been weighing on him for hours….

 

“So, I need someone to take m’ two rings for safekeeping like and seeings as you’re goin’ to be ‘rear guard’, I figured you might be willing……”

 

Xander saw the ‘young Will’ for a second time in five days as Spike’s gaze and tone dropped, and he nervously rolled two golden objects in the palm of his left hand…..” Special friend n’ all…. You know…… just don’t want to get a chink taken out in the heat of the moment, that sort of thing….”

 

Xander rolled to his side, letting his arm rest gently over the alabaster chest…. Spike space. He looked down and suddenly understood, cupped in the elegant hand of the former scholar were his human father’s familial ring and the seal of Aurelius. He wasn’t sure where Spike had been hiding the ring so painfully accepted as a young boy, but looked upon both with reverence. This was about an unstated promise to be safe; a pledge that they’d both ‘get through this’; the promise to ‘play another day’ together; and even to risk the need to ‘out’ any consequent relationship to friends. This was the last desperate act to define a commitment and quell the fear that they might well lose their newly discovered friend and emerging lover; acknowledgement of respect for the significant longtime ally, important even before current crisis and passion had pushed them along the ‘more than friendship’ course.

 

“I’ll wear yours, if you wear mine,” Xander stated, as he tugged off the wedding band he’d so furiously locked onto a middle digit of his ‘wrong hand’ months before, and handed it to Spike.

 

They each found the fingers best suited to taking the foreign circles, stood and dressed in silence. Then with one final grief stricken, passionate kiss and terrified embrace, turned to ascend the steps. Xander grasped Spike’s hand until the last moment in a desperate effort to convey his strength and love. He smiled when the squeeze was returned and whispered, “Hope you’re free for carols next Christmas?”

 

“You’re on…… ‘Five golden rings’ - What ya reckon pet…. three ringed fingers, two pierced navels and your partridge in my pear tree – they’ll never guess, mate!” Spike’s intense azure gaze demanding of Xander that they both live to share *that* moment….

 

…And with that, they both put their free hand to the basement door and opened it to join the ‘final offensive’.

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