New Year's Resolutions:
part seven
by Josie_h
Notes
Xander turned to examine his companion closely for the first time.
“I have no idea….What Now?.....” Xander looked again at
the tear streaked face of his long lost friend – and ‘war time’ lover, “God
Spike! You are still…. So beautiful!!….How??”
Xander’s free hand reached up to push away the stray lock of long hair that had
fallen over the vampire’s right eye. His hand lingered by the cheek of his
companion until he felt Spike lean into the touch. He had no way to catalogue
or deal with what he was feeling anymore – there were emotions surfacing that
has been so buried or denied that there was no longer even a point of reference
– but for the joy that he was standing in front of a very solid, very real,
Spike.
Xander did the only thing he could think of.
“Drink?”
“Oh Hell, yeah”
“Not a local. So…”
“I am”
“So…?”
“Fritz Lounge – be a walk but, know they’re still open”
With that Spike, hand still firmly joined to his rediscovered friend’s,
headed for the path and down to the ‘main drag’ heading for the South End.
“I’ve got your back” Xander grinned and allowed the ‘Bostonian’ to tug him in the direction of the
suggested bar.
Spike, meanwhile, heard far more in the ex Scoobie’s statement and mumbled, “You always did
Harris….. Bloody Hell, we all knew that…. You always did.”
The walk was brisk, silent, and utterly tense until….half way to the bar,
Spike hauled his companion into a side ally and pinned the brunette, back to
the wall in an urgent embrace.
“Wha?” Xander’s words were cut off by demanding lips meeting
his and hands sliding from shoulders to grasp his behind to pull their bodies
flush.
“Oh G…… , Xan…… I’ve missed you…….. I’m sorry…. I’m *so*
sorry…..”
Spike’s left hand drifted to the eye patch and Xander realized the source of the comment. Spike
had always considered himself to be responsible for the injury. And though Xander would never believe that, he understood the
need to remain silent, and stood motionless, holding his breath, and respecting
Spike’s need to touch his scarred face at that moment.
When he felt it safe to move, Xander placed two hands on the chest of his friend
and pushed away far enough to look him directly in the eyes. He had never seen
Spike quite this emotional and noted that the vampire was truly struggling,
visage wafting and waning between his demon and human appearance. Xander could not help wondering what had happened
to Spike in the interim years from Hellmouth to here, but decided that questions of history should be addressed at
another time.
As the golden eyes and ridges oscillated and settled for the third time, Xander leant in to deliberately kiss the fanged
mouth of his long yearned for demon in a long and passionate engagement. He
pushed his tongue forward, and despite the years between, expertly flicked it
across the edge of an elongated, razor sharp canine, drawing blood.
He pushed past the pliant lips and shared his offering. Spike’s response
was not the one he expected… a stream of blood tinged tears tracked from demon
eyes, and the vampire in Xander’s arms began to keen as if in pain. For the second time in less than an
hour, Spike fell to his knees, slid his arms around the thighs of his friend
and buried his face in Xander’s
shirt front.
The pain Xander
saw in the yellow eyes that split second before the fall, had mirrored exactly the expression he had
seen in the human face of Spike moments before they left the basement to meet
their fate on the last day of Sunnydale. The emotion obviously transcended the emergence of Spike’s ‘demon
within’ leaving him utterly open and vulnerable. As Spike began to rock them both
slowly, Xander petted the soft
hair and slid to his knees for the second time that evening.
One arm around the waist of his vampire and the other still stroking the
hair, he eased Spike’s head down until it rested on his shoulder, fangs so
close to his neck that in any other circumstances, or with any other vamp, the
act would have proven fatal. Instead Xander heard gently whispered words, “Oh Xan, I’ve missed you. Everyone was gone and I
was gone too. And I didn’t know how to tell you. I needed you pet. I needed you
and I wanted you so badly. I’ve been so alone. And I lost you too. You were
gone. All those years… and I didn’t know how to tell you…..; I want you Xan, always wanted you…..I need you so
much….Please forgive me… Please forgive me….”
As litany slowly ended, Xander continued to rock the body in his arms, and he gradually became aware of
the cool tongue laving the base of his neck, the strong hand stroking small
soft circles on lower his back, and a deep, unmistakable purr coming from his
friend.
Gently shifting his position, he whispered, “Hey…. hey…. S’OK buddy, but
you know… Eu d’ Ally not
so good for the night club admission yeah?” He continued to stroke the long
locks, and waited a few more minutes. As the purring subsided, Xander began to wonder if his charge had actually
fallen asleep.
Finally the weight in his arms shifted, Spike shook off the ridges and
blinked up at Xander. In the
dim light he looked for all the
world like a four year old William just waking from an afternoon nap. He lifted
his head and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Xander’s, then mumbled a heartfelt “Sorry… just… ahhh bollocks”.
He was just about to push away, when he caught the smile on his ‘captor’s
face and the accompanying “Welcome back.” He returned the grin with a genuine
smile, the likes of which Xander swore would launch ships, and in a bizarre twist of thinking, Xander instantly wondered if Helen of Troy might
not really have been a boy….
“C’mon – I think we’ve done trying to walk places tonight, yeah? And in a
line I am sure is going to be a quote from just about any 80’s B Grade porn
flick….. Would you like to come back to my place?”
The taxi ride to Xander’s hotel in Back Bay had none of the tension of the preceding hour. Sitting
side by side in the rather tired interior of the General Motors… whatever… Xander was pleased as his companion not only
accepted the offered hand, but actively returned a squeeze of reassurance as
they arrived at their destination.
The night manager emerged from the entry hall office as the antique bell
chimed the alert for entering guests.
Xander gave his most charming smile and added “Hey John, ‘s cool - forgot to give in my key….so we’re
good. You have a good night.” And with that, grabbed Spike’s hand and led his
companion up the period staircase.
Hand on the door to 204, Xander was reminded of his own musings not two days earlier regards Spike,
residences, and ‘past lives’ etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
*And it is only now I channel my inner Yul Brunner!*
Spike had no idea of the inner conversation – only seeing Xander pause as he went to open the door.
“’S OK mate. I don’t need to go in – Got my own place ‘n all. M’be see you tomorrow yeah?”
Xander, suddenly aware of his own indifference to the vampire’s state of mind
, grabbed the hand of the companion he
was apparently about to lose and pushed the door open.
Spike felt his world shift again.
As if the night had not been emotional enough, Spike was now looking at a
suite that could have been any one of hundreds he and Angelus had shared ‘back
in the day’. Nights of lust and love and….. Yet now here he was, waiting for an invitation, and hand in hand with a
human he cared so deeply about, that it had been the stuff of his nightmares
for years.
“Come in Spike,
come in with me…..”
Suddenly quite self conscious, Xander realized that the large bed appeared very ‘slept in’ and the room occupied after it
had been serviced. Also, that there was various modern detritus (such as still
charging computer) marring the otherwise perfectly period setting.
Spike seemed at a loss, in fact Xander began to
genuinely worry at his friend’s lack of response.
But was definitely reassured when a lustful, baritone voice ground out,
“Got a bath in this ‘ere establishment?”
With those few words, all the years between their last time together, fell away.
“Yeah in there…. I’ll get it…” Xander wandered into the en suite, flicked on the
taps and turned to rejoin his partner.