A New Hope

 

Spike awoke with the feeling of being watched.  When he tried to sit up, he realized that there was a weight pressing down on his legs.  Spike's eyes shot open to find a set of dark chocolate eyes blinking owlishly down at him.

 

"Hi, Will," Bran greeted him.

 

"Hi, bit."  Spike stole a quick glance at Xander, who seemed to still be sleeping soundly.

 

"Did you keep the monsters away for daddy?"

 

Spike's whole expression softened at the boy's earnest question.  "I tried, bit."

 

"Thank you."  Bran threw his arms around Spike and hugged tight.  "Daddy gets scared sometimes and he needs someone to protect him from the monsters."  Bran leaned in close to whisper in his ear.  "I tried to tell daddy that monsters aren't real, but I don't think he believed me."

 

Then Bran screamed and tried to scramble off him.  "Wha -" Spike was cut off by a pouncing Xander, who was now unmercifully tickling his son.  The two wrestled around on the bed, forcing Spike to get caught in the middle.

 

"Aaaahhh!!  Help me, Will!  Help me!"  Bran squealed as he squirmed away from Xander and tried to hide behind Spike.  "Save me!"

 

All three of them were laughing and panting by the time they collapsed in a heap.  Bran was on the far side of the bed, still trying to hide behind Spike, while Spike and Xander lay facing each other only inches apart.

 

"Thank you for staying all night," Xander whispered, his eyes downcast, staring at a point somewhere on Spike's t-shirt covered chest.  "You didn't have to."

 

"Wanted to, luv."  Spike answered, just as quietly.

 

Xander looked up at Spike's answer and their gazes locked. They stared at each other for a long moment before they moved together, their lips separated only by the thinnest sliver of air.  Then they both leaned toward each other.  The kiss was chaste and sweet.  Their lips brushing softly, eyes closed, murmuring quietly. 

 

When they pulled apart Bran was staring at them, head cocked to the side in thought.  "Do I get a good mornin' kiss too, daddy?"

 

Spike blushed and looked toward Xander, his expression one of panic.  As if to say, 'was it okay to do that in front of him?'

 

"Sure, buddy."  Xander swept Bran close and gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek.  "Good morning, Bran."

 

Bran made an 'eww' face and wiped off his cheek.  "Daddy!  You didn't have to be so sloppy!"  Xander laughed, then schooled his expression.  "Bran?"

 

"Yeah, daddy?"

 

"Are you wondering why Will was in here, sleeping with me?" he asked seriously.

 

"I already asked him, daddy.  He said he was keeping the monsters away," Bran responded.  "I'm glad you have someone else to do it for you, when I'm not here, daddy."

 

Xander's eyes slid sideways to land on Spike.  He was still blushing, the faint wash of pink tingeing his pale cheeks.  "So it doesn’t bother you, buddy, that Will and I give each other kisses sometimes?"

 

"No.  Why should it, daddy?  Kisses are good.  They mean you love each other.  Just like you love me, right, daddy?"  Bran asked, confused.

 

"'course I love you, buddy."  Xander kissed his forehead.  "But sometimes, kisses just mean that you really *like* somebody.  The way that Will and I really like each other.  Understand?"

 

"So you don't love each other?  You just like each other?  Like friends?"  Bran's nose was scrunched up as he thought.

 

"Sort of like that, buddy.  Is that okay?"

 

"Does that mean I have to kiss all my friends?  I don't wanna have to kiss Maria in school.  She calls me cootie face and chases me around the playground!  But Miss Burkle says we all have to be friends.  Do I have to kiss *her*, daddy?"  Bran made gagging noises.

 

"No, buddy."  Xander was laughing so hard his side started to hurt.  "You don't have to kiss anybody you don't want to kiss, okay?"  Xander turned to Spike, a big goofy grin on his face.  His heart did a little flip in his chest when Spike met him with a smile as well.

 

"Maybe we should make some breakfast?"  Xander suggested, shifting until he could get his feet on the ground.

 

"Pancakes!"  Bran whooped.

 

"How about pancakes, then?"  Spike asked facetiously.  Spike grabbed Bran when he started to clap in delight, and deposited him back on the floor.  He swatted Bran lightly on the butt, urging him out the door.  "Off with you, bit.  Your da and I will be out in a minute."

 

"Can I watch cartoons?"

 

"Sure, luv, we'll call you when breakfast's ready."  Spike watched the boy run off with another whoop before turning back to Xander.  "How are you feeling, Xan?"

 

"I'm good, Spike, really," Xander answered shyly.  "It's probably the best night's sleep I've had in a long time."

 

"I'm glad, luv."

 

Xander stood, then headed towards the bathroom to brush his teeth.  Before exiting the room he turned back to Spike, needing to know whether this morning was a fluke, or if Spike would be regretting it before lunch time. 

 

"Spike?"

 

"Yeah, Xan?"

 

"Last night?  This morning?  The kiss?"  Xander questioned.

 

"I meant what I said, luv.  Give us a chance, yeah?"

 

"But are *you* going to give us a chance, Spike?  Are you really?"  Xander couldn't keep the hope from creeping into his voice.

 

"I want to, Xan.  I’m trying."

 

Xander wasn't sure if that was good enough for him.  It had been so long since he'd trusted anyone, since he'd wanted anyone to share his life with.  But he desperately wanted Spike.  Maybe that left him with no choice.  Maybe all he could do was take however much, or however little, Spike offered.  He nodded before turning away from Spike and leaving the room.

 

***

 

Looking around the sterile hospital room, Xander felt distinctly uncomfortable.  Everyone was crying except for Bran, who was looking at him very confusedly, and himself.

 

Bran tugged at Xander's sleeve until his daddy leaned down so he could whisper in his ear.  "Why is everyone sad, daddy?"  Bran asked.

 

"They aren't sad, buddy.  They're happy.  Happy because we can help Buffy," Xander tried to explain.

 

"Then why are they crying, daddy?"  Bran's face was scrunched in puzzlement.

 

"Sometimes people cry when they're happy, Bran," Xander shrugged.

 

"Does that mean you're never happy, daddy?  I've never seen you cry."

 

"No, buddy.  Everyone's different.  Some people cry when they're happy, some people laugh.  It just depends," Xander clarified.

 

"Oh," Bran answered, but didn't seem too convinced at his daddy's explanation.

 

Xander turned when he heard Buffy call his name.  "Thank you, Xander."  She wiped at the tears on her cheeks.  "I didn't want to hope...I didn't want to think..." Her words trailed off.

 

Spike beamed at Xander, though Xander couldn't help noticing the tight hold Spike had on Buffy's hand.  Again.

 

Was there something wrong with him that he could be jealous of a girl that had just yesterday assumed that she would be dying within the next year?  His sister, no less?

 

He smiled tentatively and shook his head in denial.  "I haven't done anything.  You shouldn't thank me just for being...alive."

 

"It's more than that, son," Giles caught his attention.  "You didn't have to come to Sunnydale.  You didn't have to agree to test and donate.  You may not have had a hand in the makeup of your genetics, but everything else you've done yourself.  And we thank you for it."

 

Xander blushed and turned away.

 

"He's right, luv."  Spike released Buffy's hand and moved toward Xander.  He leant forward and kissed Xander on the cheek then took his hand in both his own.  "Thank you for giving us back our hope, Xan."

 

Xander swallowed against the lump in his throat.  "You're welcome."  Was it wrong to feel so elated that Spike had left Buffy's side to stand with him?  That Spike had *kissed* him in front of everyone?

 

The door swung open revealing a slender woman wearing a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard.  She had short brown hair that curled in towards her face, and a sharp, angular nose.  "Okay, everyone, we need to get Buffy prepped for the radiation treatment."  She turned to Joyce and Giles with a reassuring smile.  "It's excellent news that we've been able to find a match and can administer the transplant so quickly," Dr. Calendar informed them.

 

"Thank you so much for everything you've done for Buffy, Dr. Calendar," Joyce acknowledged.

 

"Of course, Joyce," Dr. Calendar assured.  "And don't worry.  We're going to do everything we can to insure that Buffy has the best chance of recovery during and after the procedure."

 

"I know you will, Doctor.  Thank you."  Joyce gave Buffy one last kiss before they all said their goodbyes and left the room.

 

Giles had his arm around Joyce and was murmuring words of comfort to her.  "She'll be fine, luv.  Buffy's a strong girl," he reassured her.

 

"God, I hope so, Rupert."  Joyce leaned in to his warmth.

 

Xander watched with interest, wondering if there was more going on with the pair than he'd originally thought.  Xander turned when Spike tugged on the hand he still held, leading them all down towards the elevators.  When they were outside once more, Xander stopped and pulled Spike towards him, whispering conspiratorially in his ear.

 

"Spike!"  Xander hissed.  "Do you think you could watch Bran for a while?"

 

"Why, luv?"  Spike whispered back.

 

"It's almost Christmas!"  Xander look dismayed.  "And the only thing I bought Bran is back in Vegas.  I forgot to bring it with us!  Besides, I need stocking stuffers and a bunch of other presents.  I always try to have 3 or 4 big ones, and then a bunch of candy and toys in his stocking.  I don't even have a stocking!"

 

"Xan?  Do you think it'd be okay if da watched Bran?"  Spike asked.

 

"You can't do it?"  Xander looked worried.

 

"No, luv.  If you want me to, I will.  But I thought I might go with you.  We could make a day of it.  Buy all the pressies for Bran and whatnot and then maybe have dinner out?"  Spike suggested bashfully.

 

Xander blushed.  Was Spike asking him out on a date?  "Do you think your dad would mind?"

 

"I'll ask, hold on a mo'."

 

Xander watched as Spike walked over to his dad.  His blush deepened when he saw Giles pause and look toward him.  Spike nodded returning with a grin on his face.  "No worries, Xan.  Da will take him for as long as we need."

 

A flash of images danced through Xander's head at that statement.  For as long as they needed?  What was wrong with him?  This morning Spike had said he wanted to give them a chance, not hey, let's jump into bed together!  Maybe Spike just had some shopping of his own to do, and thought they could kill two birds with one stone.  Xander berated himself for reading more into whatever was going on than was probably wise.

 

"Okay.  Let me talk to Bran first, though."  Xander called out to Bran, waiting patiently while his son bounced around on the sidewalk before finally heading in his general direction.

 

"Hi, daddy!"  Bran called, laughing and bouncing over the cracks on the walkway.

 

"Hey, buddy.  Would you like to go over to Giles' house for awhile?"  He asked.

 

"Oh, can I, daddy?  Huh?"  Bran asked, excited to be going back to Will's daddy's.  "Will he tell me more about the oceans, and why they talk funny where he's from?"

 

"Bran!  You shouldn't say things like that!"  Xander admonished, exasperated once more.  He had tried to explain to Bran what an 'accent' was and that they weren't really talking funny, but his son hadn't been able to comprehend why living somewhere else made you talk differently.

 

"I'll be happy to explain why I seem to talk funny, little man."  Giles came up behind them, smiling, to let Xander know he wasn’t in the least offended.  "Would you like to come home with me for a bit, then?"

 

Bran nodded his head vigorously, his eyes wide.  Mr. Giles reminded him of Miss Burkle.  He knew everything about everything!

 

"No worries then, lads."  Giles waved them on.  "Go on and have at it."

 

Xander couldn't help the blush that time.  God, what was *wrong* with him?  He followed Spike silently back towards the car, waving at a happy Bran as he climbed into Giles' old roadster.

 

"Don't worry, luv.  Da'll take good care of him, and it'll give Bran a chance to get to know da and Joyce better," Spike reassured.

 

"Oh, I know.  That wasn't exactly what I was thinking about," Xander answered tentatively.  "Spike?"

 

"Yeah, luv?"

 

"What is this?"

 

"This, Xan?"

 

"Yeah.  Shopping, dinner, your dad's watching Bran.  What are we doing?  Is this a date?"  Xander chewed on his bottom lip nervously.  "I mean, it's okay if it isn't.  It's not that I expect it to be.  I just want to know.  I mean I wasn't sure," Xander babbled.

 

Spike's hand shot out to steady Xander's bouncing knee.  "Xan, I don't know what this is.  Just wanted to spend time with you and thought it would be fun to buy the bit some pressies.  I suppose, well, you could call it a date, luv.  Would that be okay?"  Spike scrunched his brow in worry.

 

"Is that what you want, Spike?  Do you want this to be a date?  Yeah, we're spending time together, but it doesn't have to be anything more than two friends out buying Christmas presents, if you don't want it to be."  Xander shrugged, trying to act nonchalant.  "But if you want this to be a date with the whole hand holding, kiss goodnight thing, then yeah, I could do that, too."  Xander blushed bright red and concentrated on looking out the window at the passing scenery.

 

Without saying a word Spike reached over, moving his hand from Xander's knee to take hold of Xander's hand. Catching sight of his reflection in the window, Xander watched the grin split his face as Spike laced their fingers together.