TRIPPING 5
by Maz

Caught in the fantasy, the shift of position pulled Xander into another world. He gazed into the blue eyes above him. He was swimming. Clear, blue water, cool and fresh like a mountain stream. The sky expanded above him and he was falling down and through the clouds. Then he was flying as the emptiness was filled again.

"Master?" he asked, unwilling to lose what he had had. Through the haze of pleasure, and a strange sense of rightness, he could feel normality creeping up, bringing fear and uncertainty and he wanted nothing more than to run back into the dream.

"Oh, yeah."

A moment of panic and the shadows threatened, as he recognised the face. Then more words and it was the same voice - soft as velvet, hard as steel, telling him he was still there in the garden. That it was okay. That he wanted this man, this vampire. That he was right where he was meant to be. He lost himself in the blue, until a question which seemed to demand an answer. The need to get it right was strong. The desire to satisfy the demands of the voice, and of the blue, fought the part of his brain that was whimpering and complaining. Against the pressure and the pleasure he managed to gasp out, "Spike."

Another question, and the normal part of his brain was running around in circles trying to make sense of this, but the rest, the bigger part, wanted to climb back into the garden to be safe and avoid the panic that would lead to chaos - wanted to do what it was told. "My Master."

Then the wonderful feelings building inside him found a point of focus in his leg and he went flying into a hundred pieces, scattered across the sky, until Spike pulled him back together with another thrust and he felt more real than he had ever felt before. He laughed, delighted. "Mind-blowing. Mind blowing up and falling down." He felt dreamy and warm and liquid and... and... comfortable, comforted. Spike smirked above him, like a big, cuddly teddy-bear, with potential fangs. "Spike," he said, as the world began to come back into focus, clear and true and exactly right. "Feels so good."

For a moment the vampire looked surprised, then he laughed and Xander was amazed as the laugh swirled around him, pulling him up and spinning him around and his mind exploded again and wet strings of goo splattered across his chest and Spike stiffened and shuddered and flooded his insides too.

When he came to himself he was lying on a bed, bent almost double with a disgruntled looking Spike staring down at him. He almost felt normal, except he couldn't be. This had to be part of the trip. There was no way he could be lying in a bed with Spike's cock up his ass, feeling so relaxed that he suspected what he felt was... happy.

"Bloody hell!"

Pissed off vampire. That was more likely - except there was still the cock and the ass and the warm glow of belonging and he gave up and collapsed into the bed as Spike let his legs down.

"You took me by surprise there. Now I missed it. Wanted to bite you just as you came. Makes the blood taste sweet." Oh yes, that sounded more like his life. Or maybe his death. He thought of Willow. He thought of Cordy. He tried not to think about being happy because of a vampire's cock up his ass, although it was difficult because it felt so nice. "What am I going to do now? Was looking forward to that."

Xander thought that maybe he was still a bit high. He was sure he was supposed to feel terrified at this point; instead all he felt were the amplified aftershocks of pleasure swirling around his system and a strong desire to find an answer which would make Spike happy again. Happy with him. But, pissed off vampire, so he should really pull himself together and try to work out how to get out of this in one piece. Any minute now he'd do that.

Then Spike slumped on top of him and tucked his face into Xander's neck. His voice was muffled but Xander could still hear him. "Have to wait now. How long does it take a human your age to recover after two orgasms in an hour?"

Xander's blissed-out, contradictory brain took a moment to process that. "Two?" he croaked.

Spike raised his head to look at Xander. "Yeah. Two. You were there, Pet. How long?"

For a moment Xander wasn't exactly sure if this was his life, or if somehow he had fallen into someone else's - someone who should understand things. "Umm. I don't know... I mean... an hour, maybe?"

Spike propped himself up on one elbow and cocked an eyebrow, looking curious and faintly amused. "You don't sound very sure," he observed. "Come on. How long does it usually take?"

"Um... Well..." Xander wasn't certain he wanted to answer that question. It was all very well two years ago when he was 16. That was understandable. But here he was almost 18. "I don't... I mean..." he stumbled to a stop.

"Oh, God," exclaimed Spike, laughing out loud. "You're a virgin."

"Not anymore," Xander snapped, suddenly annoyed rather than embarrassed. He glared at the vampire, noticing the twitching lips, the pale, perfect skin, the sharp cheek bones and the sexy hollows below them. He growled and pushed Spike over onto his back. Leaning over him, he tried to look menacing and dangerous.

Spike shoved one forearm under his head and gazed up at Xander, seemingly unintimidated by the fierce beast who had him at bay.  "So," he enquired, cheerfully. "Did the Earth move for you?"

Xander scowled, defeated by this indifference to danger and turned his head away. A gentle hand on his chin turned his face back to Spike. "Nothing wrong with being a virgin," he said. He cocked an eyebrow. "Although if all you've ever done is wank off in the shower, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see."

"Wait and see?" repeated Xander incredulously. "Wait and see how long my refractory period is, so you can make me come again and then eat me?"

Spike's cheerfulness was unabated. "Yes, Pet. You've got it in one. Clever boy. See, I was looking forward to it. Don't want to miss out now. Not after all the build up."

Xander gazed down at him blankly for a long moment, then he started to laugh. He couldn't help it and he couldn't stop. Spike's confused look just made him laugh harder. Eventually he managed to catch enough breath to spare on words. "Welcome to the fucked up life of Xander Harris, folks," he gasped. "Doomed to die a virgin, in all the ways that matter, while being violated by a vampire."

Spike's confused expression turned to insulted, which destroyed all Xander's attempts to pull himself together and set him off giggling again.

Spike pushed Xander off him so he flopped onto his back. Now the vampire did the looming thing and Xander had to admit he was very good at it. He wondered idly how many years Spike had had to practice. "Not 'all the ways that matter', you ungrateful git." He said, indignantly. "I call that down-right rude. You get the best fuck in the northern hemisphere and you think it doesn't count?" He glowered. Xander tried to look innocent, opening his eyes wide with seeming confusion. Spike's lips twitched and he started to chuckle. That set Xander off again, giggles turning to guffaws, until he was lying, arms stretched out on either side, gasping for breath like a landed fish and Spike was laughing too. Xander gazed up at Spike; his head was thrown back, his neck corded and working with his laughter, which was open and joyful and honest. There was nothing snide or mocking or superior or jaded in his face. Xander felt a melting sensation in the pit of his stomach.

"So who's in the South?" he asked, bemused and enchanted and trying desperately to find a way back to normality - whatever and wherever that was. Spike cocked an eyebrow so he amplified the question. "If you're the best fuck in the northern hemisphere who's in the southern hemisphere?"

Spike sobered suddenly. "Dru," he said sullenly and Xander realised that normality might not be the best place to be, what with the present company. But he couldn't not know.

"Okay. So... Not that I'm complaining," he said. "But why isn't she here?" He raised one hand and ran it gently up Spike's throat, pausing to cup his cheek before stroking back through his hair. "I mean I saw you drive off together last year."

Spike shook his head, as if to free himself of the touch. "She left me okay?" he snapped. "Left me for a chaos demon." His face twisted into an exaggerated sneer. "Have you seen those things? All antlers and slime." He shuddered. "Ugh!"

Xander really was contrite, and a bit worried by the change of mood. "Oh... I mean... I'm sorry, Spike," he murmured. Lying back, he looked up at Spike's face and saw the pain under the mask. Then the hodge-podge mix of emotions currently occupying his head shifted and abruptly he was indignant again. "So she left you and you decided to come back to Sunnydale and kidnap a Scooby. What for? Revenge?" His brain belatedly caught up with his mouth. "And I probably shouldn't have said that, should I?" he observed, deflating back into mild depression.

Spike, however, simply looked aggrieved. "Didn't mean to kidnap you, did I?" he asked with rhetorical sullenness. "Was just out for a stroll. Saw you looking all tasty, talking to the lamp-post." Xander raised both eyebrows, since he couldn't manage just one. An inane portion of his brain was thinking 'bargain, buy one get one free.' Spike's voice brought him back to the present. "You were so," he asserted, and Xander had to think quickly to catch up with the continuity. "When I discovered you, you were high as a kite. Standing in the street, getting some lamp post action." Xander grimaced and Spike laughed again. "Decided I'd done that scene. So I brought you here to wait for you to come down."

Relived as he was by the lightening mood, Xander still had questions. "So how did we end up with the... you know?" Xander asked.

Spike looked exasperated. "For God's sake! If you can do it, you can say it." Xander remained silent so Spike heaved an exaggerated sigh and went on, "Got you here. Realised you'd been sucking cock earlier in the evening, so I invited you to do it again. Simple as that." He grinned smugly. "I like to keep my food happy," he said. "Most of them have short and brutal lives, they should have one good thing to remember as they die." He looked at Xander, as if expecting thanks and applause for his thoughtfulness.

But Xander was too busy getting embarrassed to appreciate Spike's generosity. He felt himself turn bright red as portions of his memory, which he had been successfully ignoring, pushed themselves up into consciousness. "Oh, God," he groaned, as vague and fractured images reformed to coherence. "Devon. Oh, God. How am I going to face him again?"

Spike smiled. "Don't worry, Pet," he reassured. "You won't have to. I'm gonna sort that for you, remember?"

Shocked back to reality, Xander looked up at him. "Okay." he said. "Officially depressed now. That's my choice? Face a guy I sucked off, or die?"

"No," Spike corrected, as if talking to a child. "No choice." He tilted his head to one side. "Anyway, you are facing a guy you sucked off."

Xander groaned and hid his eyes behind his arm.

Spike's voice took on a confused note. "What's the matter, Pet?"

Xander lifted his arm and peered out from under it. "Oz was there," he said. "He saw me do it. He'll tell everyone." He paused and perked up a bit. "Well, he might not. He doesn't really say much." Natural optimism began to reassert itself. "And Devon is such a girl magnet he might not want to admit to it." Then another thought struck. "Except, if Oz finds out about me and Willow... then he might say something." He let his arm fall back over his eyes and groaned. "Oh, God. What am I going to do?"

"You and Willow?" asked Spike. "You mean the red hired chit?" He paused for a moment, as if trying to pull her image to mind, before continuing indignantly, "Thought you said you were a virgin?"

Xander shot bolt upright, so he was sitting next to Spike. "I did not say I was a virgin," he retorted. "You jumped to that conclusion because... because I didn't want to talk about my... many and... and varied sexual encounters."

Spike sat up as well, his face level with Xander's. "You did too say you were a virgin. I remember. You said 'doomed to die a virgin in all the ways that matter' and I'm still a mite insulted by that, you know."

Xander slumped back flat on the bed in defeat. "Yeah, okay. I said that. Willow and I have never done anything. We just sort of... fell in lust."

Lowering himself back onto his elbow, Spike looked down at him and stroked his hair away from his brow. "Your love life sounds as messed up as mine, in your own way," he commented.

"Yeah. That's me." Xander grimaced. "Universal screw up. I don't know what it is with me and demons. Not to mention other bad choices." He lifted his hands and started ticking off on his fingers. "Bug lady teacher, Incan mummy, the bitchiest cheerleader in school, my best friend since childhood, Devon and now a male vampire. What is it about me? Am I just fated to have the craziest love life ever? I thought if I tried the whole gay thing, it might not happen. You know, like the craziness might be because I was denying my true self. I was kind of working my way up to doing something about it when... I guess it's true, what they say about drugs and inhibitions." He sighed. "But I'm just more confused now. I don't know what I am. I'm just a mess."

"Hey, Pet," Spike said, comfortingly. "You shouldn't say things like that about yourself. I'm sure if you hadn't met me you would have gone on to have a happy, healthy, heterosexual relationship with... oh I don't know... some other demon."

Xander sighed again, but managed a small smile. "Thanks, Spike. I feel better about dying now."

"Good," said Spike, happily. "That's okay then." He paused in thought and his face fell slightly. "Except now I don't."

"You don't feel better about dying?"

"No, you stupid git. I don't feel better about you dying. I'm kind of going off the idea."

"What's wrong with me?" Xander asked, insulted, the familiar sense of rejection and hurt reminding him who he was.

"There's nothing wrong with you," Spike insisted. "Stop putting yourself down all the time. You're fine. A bit thralled maybe, but basically..." His face screwed up, as if he was forcing the words out against some obstruction. "I just realised... I sort of... like you alive, that's all."

Xander was amazed. "You like me?" He could hear the incredulity in his own voice, but a warm glow was beginning to form right below his heart.

"Well, no." Spike growled, before amending that. "I mean... Maybe... Possibly..." He stopped and took a deep breath, glaring at Xander. "And that's my last offer. So don't go asking for more."

Hope, or something of the sort, stirred in Xander's breast. "So, does that mean you'll let me go?" Somehow that didn't sound right, it kind of hurt to ask and Spike looked so surprised that Xander had to laugh.

"No. 'Course not." Spike said. He smiled as a thought seemed to occur to him. "Think I'll take you with me," he decided with a nod.

That sounded better, but Xander still had his doubts. "And how exactly do you plan to do that?" he asked, sceptically.

Spike thought about it. "Oh, I don't know. Sharp right to the noggin maybe? Bundle you into the car and you wake up in France, chained to the bed. Couple of weeks of the best fuck in the northern hemisphere and you won't want to come home."

Xander was amazed. Amazed, surprised, dumbfounded, and sort of flattered. "You mean that?" he asked. "You'd really do that?"

"Sure. Why not?" Spike said, as if it were the most natural thing in the world that a gorgeous, slinky, predatory, muscled, toned, graceful, sexy guy, who could have anyone, would want Xander Harris, who could hardly walk in a straight line without tripping over his own feet.

Convinced that Spike had not thought this through, Xander felt he should raise a few of the difficulties. "But it's not that easy," he objected. "There's practical stuff. What with all the smuggling of an unconscious body through customs and bribing the officials and... and..." He floundered for a moment, before managing to blurt out the real problem. "Well... this is me. Why would you want me?" 

Spike cocked his head, puzzled. "Told you, Pet. Like you."

"I think I'm still stoned," said Xander plaintively. "I must be."

Spike leant down and nipped his neck. Xander felt the prickle and as the lust ran through him, realised that an hour may have been an underestimate.

Spike lifted his head, a tinge of blood on his lips. "No. You're clean. Just a trace still there but basically you're straight now."

Xander snorted.

Spike snorted.

They both laughed.

"So," Spike asked reasonably, once they had calmed down again. "Do I hit you or do you come willingly?" He gazed into Xander's eyes. "You know?" he purred. "I think you want to. Don't you, Pet?"

Xander considered both questions for a moment, then grinned up at Spike as the feeling of rightness returned, like a weight lifting off his chest. "Will I come often?"

Spike grinned back. "Count on it."

"Okay, I'll come with you. I'll come for you. And you'll not eat me." Spike quirked an eyebrow. "Well, not in the eat me to death way."

"Deal." Spike stood up and held out a hand. "Knew I could make it work. Come on, get dressed. We're off."

They pulled on their clothes and Spike found him a shirt to replace his torn one. But as they walked out of the door Xander felt a small need to assert some independence. "I still hold on to my right to run away, if I want to."

Spike shrugged. "You can try."

"I probably will," Xander said. He paused doubtfully. "Well, possibly."

Spike cocked his head and grinned. "I'll hunt you down and it'll be chained to the bed, again."

"Again?" Xander asked, indignantly. "I thought you said if I came with you, you wouldn't do that."

"No," said Spike, in the slow tones reserved for addressing the terminally stupid. "I said if you came with me I wouldn't hit you."

They climbed into Spike's car and he started the engine.

If a casual observer had happened to be standing by the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign as it got flattened for the second time in two days, they would have heard them still bickering and bargaining as the car speeded up, belching evil black smoke behind it, as it almost regained the correct side of the road.