THE BANANAS OF DOOM
Xander left the pharmacy department of the grocery store and continued down the aisles, looking for actual food this time. This wasn't where he usually came for his supplies, but emergency lube didn't have to be flavored, or heat sensitive, or scented, or tingly, or menthol...he pulled himself away from that line of thought as he realized he was fondling the bananas.
Yup, into the basket they went, next to the whipped cream and the chocolate sauce, and the lube. Xander grinned.
Anyway, emergency lube just had to be 1. small enough to fit into a pocket (which left out the economy size bottle he bought last time) and 2. lubey.
As much as experimentation was fun, and often necessary, given the proclivities of his chosen partner, he had no desire to repeat the 'half a stick of butter, or chocolate pudding' experience of last night. He paused, and turned down the pudding aisle. Well, some repeats were okay.
He returned to the pharmacy, and tossed another tube of lube into the basket. You never could be too prepared.
Xander decided he'd need to go now, because the sun was setting, meaning someone would be waiting for him, and the lube, and not necessarily in that order. And because when Xander finished fondling the cucumbers, which also went into the basket, because vitamins were a necessity, returned to the pharmacy, and then grabbed another bunch of bananas, the produce manager called for a code nine on aisle five. He didn't know for sure, but he was fairly certain it meant 'pervert' in grocery store lingo.
Xander stopped for a moment to ogle the cantaloupes the manager was stacking attractively, because while bananas and cucumbers and better get One More Tube were nice and all, he wasn't one to give up on the old classics.
He waited for the usual reaction, and was surprisingly unfazed when the only happy he got was on his face. The happy in his pants was straying back to the banana-cucumber-pudding melange. Xander shrugged and went to the check-out counter, ready to go home. He paused once, considering, but decided that three tubes would last...at least for the weekend.
And plus, pudding.