WHAT BROUGHT US HERE 4
by Spikedluv

Time moved too quickly, and Spike couldn’t remember ever being that nervous—not when he’d written that drivel for Cecily, not when he’d made his first kill, not when he’d fought his first Slayer... His baby was graduating.

After discussing it over the course of the next couple weeks after Dawn’s visit, Tara had taken care of making the arrangements for them. Once the graduation date had been confirmed, she reserved a three-bedroom suite at a hotel near the university and ordered food and drink for a small private celebration to be held in their suite following the ceremony. Spike couldn’t get out of seeing Angel at all, but he did have the small satisfaction of being on his own turf, surrounded by his family, when they met again.

The day before the graduation ceremony they drove to LA in two cars as soon as the sun set. Willow and Tara took the babies in the mini-van while he and Xander rode in the back of Giles’ convertible with the top down. Giles claimed it was so he didn’t have to hear the noises they made as they groped each other in the back seat.

As soon as they were shown to their suite, Spike called Dawn. By the time she and Connor arrived, their luggage had been brought up and stowed away, and they had put the babies into their pajamas, only allowing them to stay awake so they could see Dawn before being put down to sleep. Dawn was excited and chatty, telling them how she’d already packed up her room and was storing most of it at The Hyperion until the fall, when she would return to school for her teaching certificate.

When the witches yawned and Giles made noises about going to bed, Dawn and Connor got up to leave. After sharing a look with Xander, Spike asked to be shown around town. He’d visited LA before, but he wanted to see Dawn’s LA. Leaving the girls behind with Willow, Tara, and Giles, Spike and Xander followed Dawn and Connor out into the LA nightlife.

Hand-in-hand, the two couples walked around the campus, and Dawn pointed out the library, and the coffee shop where she’d worked part time. She showed them a few clubs she liked to go to, the movie theater she frequented, and the diner where you could get the best pancakes in LA—though second-best in the world, since Tara’s were the best ever—and then the park where she liked to lay in the sun during the afternoon and slay at night. Spike would have had a heart attack at that casual announcement if he could.

"To what?" he’d growled.

"To slay," Dawn repeated. "I’m not stupid, Spike," she went on. "I don’t go alone..."

Spike glared at Connor.

...and I’m careful. Besides, I’m good. I had a great teacher." She grinned at him.

He was unreasonably flattered, but he still wanted to rip her head off for slaying without him there to protect her. "Flattery will not get you anywhere, Bit." Dawn rolled her eyes. "I mean it! You’re here to learn something other than slaying and demons. Want you to have a normal life."

"That would be great, but it’s never gonna happen, Spike," Dawn replied softly. "I’d have to give up my family to have a normal life, and I would never be able to do that. Besides, *I’m* not normal. And I don’t want to be. I love *us*," she spread her arms. "And none of us is normal. Especially you, vampire with a male lover and a baby."

He scowled at her. He knew all that, really he did, and it just annoyed him that Dawn had to remind him of it. "I know *that*!" he snarled. "But that’s what I want for you anyway. I just... I wanna make sure you stay alive, and normal people don’t get killed fighting demons."

"And I won’t either," Dawn assured him as she moved in for a hug. "Because in addition to *me*, I’ve got all of you watching my back. ‘Sides, I’d be miserable if I tried to be normal." She smiled at him.

"And you’re not now? I mean, you’re happy now?"

"Yeah, Spike, I’m very happy."

"What?" Xander asked worriedly, and Spike lifted his head, diverting his attention from the small brunette in his arms to see Connor standing stiff, his head tilted back as if he was scenting the air.

"Vampires," Connor answered him. "Stay here," he said, directed at Dawn, and then took off for the group of vampires hassling some tourists.

"You too," Spike said to Xander, and followed Connor. He didn’t need to see them to know they were both rolling their eyes, pulling stakes, and following them. He grinned at the image, and then promised himself that the vamps would be dust before they could reach them, much less receive a scratch.

Giles, Willow, Tara, and the babies met Dawn and Connor for brunch the next morning while Xander and Spike slept in. Spike woke while the witches were busy getting the girls dressed and trying to keep them from waking Spike and Xander, and then couldn’t fall back to sleep after they left.

He folded his arms under his head and stared at the ceiling. He remembered the first time he’d met Dawn, the year he and Dru first came to Sunnydale looking for her bloody poof of a sire. Of course, he realized that those early memories of her—sitting on the couch with Joyce the night he’d gone to Buffy for help getting rid of Angelus, or perched on a stool at the island drinking hot chocolate that time he’d returned to Sunnydale after Dru left him—weren’t real, but they *felt* real. Just as real as the memories he had of her visits to his crypt, helping her collect the ghora demon egg, her first day of high school, her first date, high school graduation. She’d gone and grown up on him, and now she was graduating from university.

He could smile now at the memory of her asking him for advice on how to kiss a boy, but at the time he hadn’t found it amusing in the slightest. He’d been a bit flattered, partly mortified, and mostly enraged. He’d growled and demanded to know what boy would be stupid enough to even attempt to kiss her, at which point she’d burst into girlie tears that had him flustered until she blubbered, "You don’t think anyone’ll want to kiss me?"

He immediately realized his mistake and assured her that many boys might *want* to kiss her, but they’d be taking their lives into their own hands if they dared attempt it. What followed had been one of the most difficult conversations of his life—unlife, whatever—when Dawn had said, "I wish I was pretty like Buffy."

"Hey." Xander interrupted his reverie. "Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?" he asked sleepily as he rolled over and snuggled into Spike, resting his head on the vampire’s shoulder, one arm snaking possessively over his waist.

"What makes you think I’m thinking?" Spike asked, bringing his arm down around Xander’s shoulders.

"I can hear it," Xander said, yawning. "It’s like another presence in the room." He waved his hand around. "A big, foreboding presence."

"Ha!" Spike said sarcastically, burying his fingers in hair he’d convinced Xander to leave a bit long, and dragging his head back. He rolled them slowly, letting Xander read the intent in his eyes as he brought his other arm down and braced his hand on the mattress on other side of Xander.

"Mmm, umm, Spike? We, uh..."

"No one else is here," Spike assured him, lowering his head to Xander’s neck.

"Oh. Umm..." Xander tilted his head back. "O-okay."

Spike grinned as he licked and suckled at Xander’s neck, making his lover moan and wriggle beneath him. "You fell asleep too quickly last night, luv," he purred.

"Too quickly?" Xander yelped. "It was nearly sunrise! And what time is it now?" He twisted until he could see the clock. His eyes widened. "I-it’s not even *noon*! How can it not even be noon?"

"My thinking woke you up," Spike reminded him as he slid down Xander’s body and latched onto a nipple.

"Yeah, you loud think—oh, ah, god," he finished on a sigh, spreading his legs so Spike could nestle between them, and gripping the vampire’s shoulders with strong fingers.

"Wanna go back to sleep?" Spike asked before moving to the other nipple.

"Ungh...what? Er, no, no. Lack of sleep is the—oh, yeah, right there!—new orange. Or something."

"Black is the new orange, pet." Spike slid down further and nibbled on Xander’s ticklish sides as Xander squirmed and giggled, then licked across his belly, eliciting a gasp. His tongue dipped into Xander’s belly button, and his lover bucked against him.

"Spike, for the love of...oh, god!" Xander cried out when Spike swooped down and engulfed his cock. "Oh! Spike!"

Xander tugged on Spike’s hair and lifted his hips as Spike dove down and buried his nose in Xander’s groin, and then issued a long, low groan when Spike exerted strong suction on him as he drew his mouth up his lover’s shaft until he was sucking on the head, his tongue working the sensitive spot just below the ridge.

"Spike, Spike, please..."

Spike stuck his finger into his mouth alongside Xander’s cock and slicked it up to the accompaniment of his lover’s sweet voice pleading for more. With little warning, Spike circled his wet finger around Xander’s opening, and then slowly inserted it. He twisted and wiggled until his lover was used to the invading digit, and then searched for Xander’s prostate.

His finger rubbed over the swollen nub and Xander yelped. "Oh, god, again!"

Spike lifted his head and gazed on his lover. Xander was flushed, and a fine sheen of perspiration covered him. "Pushy bottom," he muttered lovingly, and then once more sucked Xander into his mouth while his finger stroked Xander’s button continuously.

Xander writhed, fingers pulling at Spike’s hair while he cursed and cried out. Finally he tensed, and then his whole body began to tremble as he came, spurting his release into Spike’s mouth. Spike swallowed, sucking until Xander was completely spent and limp beneath him, and then crawled up his lover’s body until he was draped over him, forearms on either side of Xander’s head supporting his weight.

He kissed Xander while his cock nudged his lover’s ass. "Want you, luv," he whispered between kisses, moving his hips enough to elicit a reaction. "Need you."

"Brought...stuff," Xander croaked as he reached for the bedside table.

Spike batted Xander’s hand down and reached for the drawer. Xander’s legs went around him, holding him tight as if Xander was afraid he was trying to leave. "Just gettin’ the slick, pet. You really don’t have to worry ‘bout me leavin’," Spike muttered as his questing fingers found the tube.

He liberally coated his fingers with the lube, and then wormed his way down Xander’s body so he could reach between them. Xander spread his legs and brought them back, opening himself up to Spike. Two fingers went in easily. Spike stretched him, but was too excited to wait any longer. Kneeling, he slicked himself up, and then lifted Xander’s hips.

"Ready, luv?" he asked.

Xander looked back at him through hooded eyes, wet bangs sticking to his forehead and falling into his eyes, looking completely debauched. Spike groaned, and then pressed into his lover. Xander was always hot and tight, and he made the most delicious sounds when Spike was inside him. Spike would never be able to get enough of him.

Fingers tightly gripping Xander’s hips, Spike began to thrust. Xander got his toes on the bed and pushed back. Spike threw his head back and roared, "Xander!" as he furiously pumped his hips. He could tell that he was hitting Xander’s prostate by the way his lover’s eyes rolled back and his fingers gripped the sheet.

He needed to come, but he wanted to send Xander over the edge one more time. He forced his orgasm down and continued to pound into his lover. His partner. That thought was nearly enough to undo him. His partner, he thought again. He’d loved Xander before, but the other man became a part of him when they’d claimed each other. Literally and figuratively.

When Spike looked back at him, Xander was staring at him. "My love," he whispered. Xander’s eyes widened. "My love," he said again. Xander’s head went back and his back arched. "My love," Spike said, louder. Xander came in powerful spurts that sprayed semen across chest and shoulder, hitting his chin, and then dribbling onto his belly with his final pulses. His ass closed around Spike, who paused momentarily during the most violent contractions, and then began a series of short, jerky thrusts until he stiffened, and then shot his load into Xander’s body.

Trembling, he lowered himself onto Xander. The door suddenly burst open, and both men turned wide, surprised eyes to the doorway.

"Daddy kissing!" Jess announced to the suite at large.

"Bloody.."

"Gaagh!"

Both men grabbed frantically for the sheet they’d kicked to the bottom of the bed during their loving.

"Willow!"

"Red!"

Two hours later, showered and dressed, they pulled up to the building that was hosting the graduation ceremony. Spike, blanket over his head, raced into the building. Xander and Willow got the babies out of the mini-van and then Giles and Tara went to park the vehicles. Before they returned, Spike’s head went up as he scented the air. Angel!

He looked around and spotted Angel and Connor walking down the hallway. He hadn’t come in the front door and Spike briefly wondered if he’d taken the sewers before reminding himself he didn’t care.

Connor greeted Xander and Willow and fussed over the girls while Spike and Angel stared each other down. Spike refused to be the first to speak.

"Spike," Angel finally said. Even though it sound more like, ‘This is my town. What are you doing here?’

"Poof," Spike replied scathingly.

Angel sighed, as if dealing with a recalcitrant child, which got Spike’s back up. Before he could say or do anything, Giles and Tara appeared and he took the opportunity to turn his back on Angel and ignore the other vampire.

"Whelp," he greeted Connor, who just rolled his eyes and said, "Spike."

When Tara and Giles had joined them, Connor said, "I have something for you." He opened an envelope he’d been carrying and pulled out a tag that said ‘Father of the Graduate’. "Dawn forgot to bring these over this morning, so she asked me to give them to you." He handed the tag to Spike, who fought back tears. He would rather fry in the sun than let Angel see him get emotional.

"That’s so sweet," Willow cooed.

"Ta," he said brusquely, and then turned to Xander who took the tag from nerveless fingers and pinned it to his jacket. "Thanks, pet," he said softly, patting the tag.

Connor pulled another tag from the envelope and held it out to Willow and Tara. "She tried to get two, but they’d only let her have one," he explained.

Willow took it and pinned it to Tara’s dress, and then smiled at her partner. "You were more the mommy. I was the...big sister! And the big brother!" She took Xander’s arm in hers, and turned to Connor. "Do siblings get one?" she teased.

The approach of Cordy, Wes, Fred, and Gunn broke the moment. There were greetings and introductions, and then Connor said, "We should probably get seated. Everyone have their tickets?"

Spike patted his pocket. He’d triple-checked before leaving the hotel, but you could never be too sure. They filed into the auditorium and found their seats. Spike wasn’t sure who’d thought to seat him on the opposite end of their group from Angel, but he was grateful to them.

He didn’t remember too much of the actual ceremony. Deans and valedictorians droned on, but his eyes were glued on Dawn. She was beautiful in her cap and gown. His chest tightened and he got teary-eyed. Xander, who was holding Jess, patted his leg and handed him a tissue. Spike clenched it in one hand and held Xander’s with the other.

Directly after the ceremony there was a reception for the graduates. Dawn was glowing. There were pictures, and then Dawn held Connor’s hand while she introduced her friends and some special professors to her family. Every time she told someone that Spike was her father, he got choked up. One friend of Dawn’s who’d been introduced as Caro, flirted with him, and Dawn was quick to inform her that Spike was taken.

"Darn it! By who?" she’d pouted prettily.

"By this one!" Spike said, tossing Jess into the air. She giggled happily, placing a wet kiss on his cheek when she was once more safely ensconced on his hip. He glanced over to see Xander smiling at him. "And that one," he added softly.

Caro blushed crimson. "Oh. Sorry," she said to Xander.

"That’s okay. You can look," Xander said. "But only I can touch."

"Oh, man, like I needed that image," she groaned.

"Euww, Caro!" Dawn squealed.

"What? They’re hot!" She giggled in embarrassment and turned a deeper shade of red.

"Yeah, but..." Dawn looked them over. "That’s my *dad* you’re talkin’ about!"

Spike’s chest swelled so much he wouldn’t have been surprised to find out he’d ripped his shirt.

Dawn quickly grew bored with the reception and they headed back to the hotel. Tara had called after the ceremony to make sure everything was set up. The first thing Spike did was remove his jacket and tie, tossing them onto the bed. He rolled his sleeves up as he walked around behind Tara, checking out the food platters and tubs of bottles covered with ice. She raised her eyebrows and smiled at him. He grinned back. He hadn’t been sure this would be a happy day, but it had been pretty special so far.

"Mom," he teased.

"Yes, Dad?" she replied.

A knock at the door drew their attention. Spike stiffened, smiling tightly at Tara when she patted his arm reassuringly. Xander, still dressed in his suit jacket and tie, pulled the door open, scooped a laughing Dawn up, and twirled her about.

"Look what I found!" he called out to the room.

Jess and Joy squealed and immediately started begging for ‘rides’. Xander set Dawn on her feet and picked up Joy while Dawn picked up Jess, and then they both twirled. Spike ignored the rest of the gang that piled into the suite and walked across the room to his lover and the girl he considered a daughter. He touched Xander’s shoulder, and then picked up Dawn.

"How’re my two best girls?" he asked.

"Twirl us, Daddy!" Jess cried, and so Spike did until Dawn begged him to put her down before she heaved.

"Nice language," Spike teased as he put her down, grabbing her arm when she stumbled.

"Oh, man," she said as she handed Jess off to Xander, "I don’t think I’m gonna be able to eat now."

"We got spicy chicken wings for you," Willow said.

"Really?" Dawn grabbed Connor’s hand and led him over to the table where the food had been set up. "Wow, look at all this!" She turned back to the group. "Thanks guys," she said a little self-consciously. "I’m so glad you came." Her voice cracked and she started crying.

"Oh, hey now!" Spike said helplessly as the witches gathered Dawn up in their arms, hugging her and whispering in her ear.

"Everyone, come eat," Dawn sniffled when they let her go. "Look, Cordy, dip!"

"Ha, ha," the brunette replied as she wandered across the room to look at the spread. "This is amazing. Is that coffee?"

"That one is," Tara replied, pointing. "This is blood."

"Euww!"

Spike stayed as far away from Angel’s gang as he could. They’d been introduced briefly before the ceremony, but he didn’t have any sense that they cared to spend any additional time in his company. Not that he wanted to get to know them better, either. They were Angel’s friends, which would automatically put them at odds with Spike. Xander snuck up to him while he was lost in thought.

"Where’s Jess?" Spike asked as he pulled Xander into his arms.

Xander pointed. Both girls were tangled together on the couch, sleeping. "They’re pooped. Been a couple of busy days."

"So, this is your worse half," Cordy said. Spike glared at her. Unaffected, she popped a grape into her mouth.

"Cordy," Xander said, drawing her name out. "We’ve discussed this. He’s changed..."

"Have not!"

"Well, he’d probably still shove hot pokers through Angel, but other than that..."

"I was talking about you."

"Oh. That was a joke, right?"

***

Summer had gone much too quickly, and now here he was, holding his baby girl the night before she started preschool. She was smart as a whip. The cleverest little thing he’d ever met. But he didn’t want her to go. He’d gotten so used to taking care of her during the day, he wasn’t sure how he’d spend the time now. Plus, he’d miss her like crazy. Granted, she was only going to be gone for the morning, but...

"Hey." Xander’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey, luv," he said, trying to smile.

"Couldn’t sleep?" Xander asked, running his hand over Jess’s head and pretending he was talking about her.

"Nah, was just a bit restless," Spike said. After a pause he added, "I’ve mentioned I hate change, right?"

Xander smiled sadly and knelt beside the chair. "Yeah. Change can suck. And hurt like hell."

Spike knew Xander was talking about the losses time had visited upon them. Anya. Buffy. He was surprised to realize that there was only a dull ache where the sharp pain of her death, of his own failure, used to be.

Xander looked up at him with beautiful, expressive eyes. "But it’s what brought us here, together."

Spike knew Xander wasn’t as dumb as he let most people believe, but sometimes the other man could still surprise him. "You’re right, it did," he agreed.

Xander’s smile widened. "Come to bed?" he asked. "I’ve got a present for you."

Spike pushed his blue thoughts aside and waggled his eyebrows. Xander blushed. Spike loved that, even after all they’d done to each other, his lover could still be made to blush so easily.

"Not that!" Xander whispered.

"Okay, luv, let’s tuck her in." Spike stood and rubbed Jess’s back when she fussed at the movement. Xander locked the door and followed him through the house to Jess’s room. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his naked chest, and watched Spike pull the sheet up to cover Jess.

Done, Spike walked over to Xander and leaned into him, hands resting on his hips, foreheads pressed together. Xander opened his arms and wrapped them around Spike. He played with the waistband of the sweats Xander had thrown on when he came looking for him. He felt the tension in Xander’s body, and would probably never know how hard it was for his lover to refrain from offering him a platitude, telling him that everything would be all right.

"Love you, Xan."

"Love you too, Spike." Xander tilted his head and placed a gentle kiss on Spike’s lips. "Come to bed?" he asked again.

"For my prezzie?" Spike asked suggestively.

Xander laughed softly, giving Spike a little squeeze. "Yeah," he said, "for your prezzie." He backed out of the moonlit room and down the hall, pulling Spike with him. They laughed when their feet tangled and they tripped, shushing each other loudly, until Spike gave Xander a push that toppled him onto the bed. Xander didn’t let go of Spike, and his momentum pulled the vampire down on top of him.

Spike nuzzled his neck, and then playfully bit him. Xander giggled and Spike moved down his body, licking and sucking a path down to his belly. He looked up at Xander. "Time for my prezzie now, luv?"

"Yeah," Xander choked out.

Spike pulled the sweat pants down.

"Spike, I really..."

Ignoring him, Spike nuzzled his groin.

"I really have..."

"Love my present, Xan. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen."

"Spi—"

Spike shut Xander up by the expedient method of closing his mouth over him.

Twenty minutes later, Xander was breathing heavily, both men sprawled across the bed on their backs. "I think you blew the top of my head off," he said, and then reached up to check.

Spike gave a huff of laughter. His muscles were still trembling and they felt like Jell-o. "Sleepy now," he mumbled tiredly.

"No! Pr-present," Xander reminded him.

"There’s really a present?" Spike asked in surprise.

"I told you..."

"Well, give!" Spike demanded, still not moving.

"Can’t move," Xander replied.

Spike reached across the bed and poked him.

"Ow!"

Poke.

"Spike!"

"Prezzie."

Xander rolled over with a loud groan and fumbled with the drawer on the bedside table. He withdrew a package, flopped onto his back, and handed it to Spike.

Spike turned it around in his hands. He could tell it was a book, but he wondered what kind of book Xander might have gotten him.

"Gonna open in?" Xander asked.

Spike ripped into the paper. The book was bound in black leather and had gold embossed lettering. He turned it so he could read the front cover, ‘Journal of William the Bloody.’ He opened it. In black calligraphy, the first page said, ‘Wonderful father, incredible lover, and true friend.’ He was so moved he couldn’t speak.

"Spike? D-do you like it?"

He ran is fingers over the calligraphy. "Yeah, I... It’s beautiful. Why...?"

"You said once that you ought to write a book about your adventures, so..." He shrugged. "I thought it might give you something to do while Jess is at preschool. You don’t have to, though. I mean, you can use it for anything..."

Spike closed the journal and ran his hand over the cover. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had known him well enough to buy him something so perfectly fitting. Dru had been too insane and flighty to care about anyone but herself, much less listen to Spike and purchase him a gift that reflected his desires.

"Spike?"

"I love it. I love you. Thank you, Xander."

"Love you, too." Xander moved closer to him.

Spike regretfully placed the book on his bedside table and turned into his lover’s arms.

Having been awake most of the night, morning came too early for Spike. He helped Jess get dressed, listening to her chatter excitedly about her first day of preschool with a heavy heart. After goodbye kisses from Jess and Xander, Spike watched in dread as the door closed behind them. The whole morning stretched out in front of him. Willow would be picking Jess up from preschool and dropping her off around noon, but he had several hours to kill until then.

He crawled back into bed, but couldn’t get comfortable, couldn’t shut his mind down. Finally, he gave up. He took a shower and got dressed, and then looked at the journal. He picked it up, heated a mug of blood in the kitchen, and carried both out to the shaded deck to sit in his chair. He sipped from the mug, and then set it aside. He opened the journal and stared at the blank page, and then picked up the pen and started writing.