"Looking for my flashlight."

...

"I know I told you it was okay to use toys - that I like toys - but do you really think your Maglite is -"

"Spike!  I need it 'cause I...lost something."

...

"What, exactly, did you lose?"

"Nothing important..."

...*rattle*...

"Xander, did you lose the keys to the cuffs?"

"Hey!  It's not my fault they're so teeny-tiny!  And - you're the one who was all 'Sod it, pet, just get over here!'"

"So in the throes of passion you couldn't have just tossed them on the dresser?"

"I thought I did toss them on the dresser!  I mean, I thought I heard them clink on the mirror but maybe they clinked on something else..."

...*rattle*...

"What else could they have 'clinked' on?  Love?"

"Well...the window..."

...*RATTLE*...

"Xan, pet - you know I'm not...mad.  But - the party is starting in half an hour."

"I know!"

"And there's gonna be presents..."

"I know, Spike!"

"And that cake, with the rum in it?  And...the rum -"

"I know, Spike - I know!  I just think - the keys went out the window, is all.  I'll just have to go -"

"Out the window?  We're seventeen stories up.  They could be anywhere!"

...*RATTLE RATTLE*...

"Well I'm sorry!  You're the one that wanted demon-proof handcuffs!  Said it would make it more fun if you really were helpless!"

"I know -!  Look, pet, it's all right."

...*creak*...

"I'm...sorry, Spike.  I - I know you were really looking forward to the party...  I'll figure something out."

"Xan, love - c'mere.  Just - hug on me a minute, right?"

...*creak*...*rattle*...

"Now listen, pet.  The party's a great thing and don't think I'm not - completely gobsmacked that your friends are doin' this.  But - most important is you, love.  That you're here with me.  After all the mess and the misery, you're right here.  That's better than a hundred parties."

...*sniffle*...

"Yeah?"

"Course, love."

"Love you."

"Love you, too.  Don't fret, now."

...*kisses*...*creak*...

"Mmm....  Xan - oh do that again....  Mmmm...yeah..."

"Love how you taste...your skin..."

"Ah!  God - pet..."

...*rattle*...

"I think - I'm just gonna...slide right down on you..."

"Yeah - fuck -"

...*rattle*...

"And just...go...real slow...like this..."

"Xander!  God, just - oh, fuck - oh!"

"You did say toys...  Wouldn't be fair if you couldn't feel - ah! - how good it is to be so...fucking full and...stretched...oh, fuck yeah..."

"Love - god - please, please - just, there - ah!"

...*giggle*...

"Yeah, it turns on...  Fuck, I can feel that too..."

...*buzz*...

...*small shriek*...

"Too high?"

"N-noooo....it's just....fucking right - god - fuck -!"

"Yeah...fuck..."

...*creak...rattle...creak...buzz*...

...*knock knock*...

"Bloody - hell - don't you dare fucking - stop!"

"No fucking - way - god -!"

...*CREAK CREAK RATTLE BUZZZZ RATTLE!*...

...*knock knock*...

"Can't they - oooh god - hear us?"

"Fuck - Xander - god, yes!  Yes!"

...

"Well, they heard that-"

"The whole hotel heard that, Spike."

"Please, love - please - just -"

"Yeah - fuck yeah - oh - now -"

"Yeah - now - god - ahhh!"

"Oooh - Spike!"

...*creak...creak...rattle...pant...pant*...

"Are you done in there?"

"Jesus Christ."

"Nah, just the bloody King of Piss-poor Timing.  Angel!  You wanker - sod off!"

...

"Are you sure?  I found something of yours..."

...*clink*...

"How in bloody hell -"

"Who cares?  I'm coming!"

"Again?  Good god...  Oh."

...*cough*... 

"You’ve got the keys?"

...

"You're...naked."

"Always am under my clothes.  Keys?"

"Uh - I uh - yeah, I -"

"Are you starin' at my Xander?  Are you, you miserable poof?"

"Shut up, Spike."

...*shriek*...

"Buffy!"

"Hey - uh - oh my god, is that -"

"That's a - joke.  Ha ha.  Novelty items are so funny -"

"It's fuchsia."

...*mumble*...

"What?"

"I said, it only comes in this and yellow and I just couldn't take yellow.  It was really putting me off bananas."

...

"Yeah, I can - uh -"

"Deadboy, what's wrong with your head?"

"My head?  N-nothing.  It's just -"

"It's a key.  You have a dent the shape of a key in your forehead!"

"Ha!  At least he found a use for that great lump of stone!"

"Shut up, Spike!"

"Make me, you wanker!"

...*Rattle*...

"Xander!"

"Oh, Christ.  Willow, hey!"

"How many people are you gonna let see you naked, pet!"

"At least I got the keys!"

"Hey, the Tower of Power!"

...

"Tara?"

....

"Party's on in five, guys, and this Slayer needs - needs lots of rum punch."

"Lord, so do I.  And aspirin."

"Right.  I guess I'll just get dressed -"

"Finally!"

"Tara, why don't we -"

"Right, right.  Party!  Bye!"

"Bye!"

...*slam*...

"Jesus.  This party had better be good, 'cause -"

"Course it'll be good, pet.  Presents!"

...*rattle*...

"Now how 'bout you unlock these and then -"

"Then we can take a shower.  You know - the Tower is...waterproof."

"Oooh.  Happy Anniversary, love."

...*kisses*...

"Happy Anniversary, Spike.  Love you."

"Love you too, pet.  Always."

"Always."