As soon as the door closed behind him, Graham wondered for the millionth time what the hell had possessed him stop in Oxnard on his way back to Sunnydale. He already knew and it was plain and simple, he needed to get laid. It had been almost a year since he'd last seen Brian and the joint showers on campus were starting to get to him. He was seriously tired of checking out Finn's ass.
Stopping at the bar for a beer he checked out the dancers currently working the room. He'd seen better, but then again you can't be picky when you're a gay Marine smack dab in the middle of a `don't ask, don't tell' era.
Graham circled the room twice looking for a prime spot to sit. He wanted to be noticed but not obvious. Spying a table just off center and to the right Graham headed for it. Just as he settled in, the overhead lights dimmed and the main stage lights went up.
All he could see at this point was a shadow, but it looked damn good. The guy wasn't one of the muscle bound specimens he'd been exposed to since joining the service, but his body was firm and solid.
Graham leaned forward and squinted, trying to get a better look. The first strains of a familiar song started. He couldn't help but smile as Carole Pope belted out her version of `High School Confidential.'
The spotlights went up and Graham got his first good look at the guy he had just decided to take home for the night.
Soft brown hair fell in a mass of waves across a smooth forehead. Graham's eyes were drawn to lean hips that thrust and twisted to the driving rhythm. Long tan fingers plucked dark nipples before sliding down and over the bulge in the front of spandex pants.
Within seconds the pants were gone. Lust, swift and sure slammed through him. Graham suddenly needed another drink. Blue eyes followed the dancer's every move with intense interest. As soon as the song ended, Graham was at the bar asking about private dances.
After pulling a fifty from his wallet and dropping it on the bar, Graham was led around the bar and to the left through a set of swinging doors. They told him room twelve with a wink and a smile and left him on his own.
Graham's eyes scanned the room. A small portable CD player was set up on a table in the corner. Several wooden hardback chairs along with a love seat adorned the room. He'd be more comfortable on the small couch, but he could only imagine what had gone on there. Settling into the chair he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Hearing the soft snick of the door closing Graham opened his eyes. His gaze traveled the boy from head to toe. He was even prettier up close. Perfect, flawless skin, prominent collarbone that Graham desperately wanted to cover with open mouth kisses. Dark brown nipples hardened under his close scrutiny. He was fucking beautiful and Graham would do whatever he had to do to get him home.
Brown eyes locked with his.
“Hi.”
Graham watched the guy's adams apple bob with a nervous swallow.
“You okay?”
A nervous laugh and a nod before words.
“Yeah, fine. Just uh...”
“Name's Graham. Most people call me Gray.”
“Xander. I've never...I was only supposed to fill in...I didn't know—“
“Hey, it's okay. Just close your eyes and pretend you're on stage. You were amazing out there.”
A smile and blush was Graham's only answer before Xander held up a CD and walked to the table.
Graham noticed the tense set of Xander's shoulders.
“Would it help if I closed my eyes at first?”
“Yeah, it might.”
As the first strains of the slow sensual beat hit his ears, Graham's eyes dropped closed.
He felt the soft touch of a hand on his shoulder.
“I think you're gonna have to open your eyes. How do I...”
Xander's voice trailed off in a nervous laugh. Graham couldn't remember the last time he'd been this turned on. If this was an act, Xander played a damn good virgin.
Holding out his hand he motioned for Xander to take it.
“Come here.”
Cool shaking fingers landed in his palm. Graham pulled Xander between his spread legs.
“We're going to break a few rules here. I'm not supposed to touch you. You know that, right?”
Small nod.
“I think you need me to at first, just to get you started, show you how it works.”
Another nod had Graham running his hands up Xander's chest to his shoulders and down his arms. Lacing their fingers together Graham pulled him closer.
“You're beautiful, but you don't know that do you?”
Downcast coffee colored eyes met his with a small smile and another blush.
“I want you to move into my lap. Straddle me. I won't move. I'll let you move at your own pace.”
Xander's hands came down on Graham's shoulders as he lowered himself in the blonde's lap. Graham couldn't stop the hiss of breath as Xander settled fully onto him.
Immediately alarmed, Xander's eyes searched his.
“Are you...I didn't...”
“Fine. I'm fine. You just...you feel good.”
He heard the hitch in Xander's breath. Heard the sigh of pleasure from parted lips as their hips shifted just slightly bringing their cocks into direct alignment.
“Can I...touch you? That's allowed, right?”
The breathless whisper in his ear sent goose bumps down Graham's arms.
“Anything you want, Xander. Anything.”
Tentative hands traveled along his shoulders and down his arms. Graham watched with hungry eyes as Xander pulled his bottom lip into mouth. Fuck, this was going to be torture. He was so hard he ached.
After a few minutes of slow, hesitant exploration Xander's eyes dropped closed and he lost himself in Graham and the music.
He could do this, he could sit here with his hands clenched into fists and his body on fire and not touch. He was US Marine for God's sake, he would control himself. At least he could have until Xander's lips closed around his ear and soft shy words spilled out of his mouth.
“T-touch me. Please, I need...I didn't know I could feel this...didn't know it would be so good. Please, Gray, touch me.”
Graham's hands flew to Xander's hair. Threading his fingers through thick brown strands he pulled Xander's mouth to his. Immediately Xander opened for him, his tongue stroking Graham's slowly.
The kiss was hot, hard and hungry. Graham stroked deeper into Xander's mouth trying to touch every crevice, every surface: trying to make Xander as needy as Graham had become. God, he had never wanted anyone like this. Never needed anyone like this.
Pulling back, Graham ran his tongue along Xander's jaw reveling in the moans spilling from those perfect lips. Graham pulled hard on Xander's hair forcing his head back and exposing his neck.
Soft bites, followed by long slow swipes of tongue had Xander writhing on Graham's lap. They were giving a whole new meaning the word frottage as hips thrust hard seeking friction.
Pounding on the door startled them and Xander all but fell on his ass scrambling back from Graham.
Eyes locked and held as Graham stood.
“What time are you off?”
“One.”
“Meet me.”
“Where?”
“Out front.”
“Okay.”
Graham covered the inches between them in a few short steps and pulled Xander hard against him. Their mouths melded in a rough kiss. Without looking back Graham left the room and the club.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander's hands were sweaty and his heart was about to beat out of his chest. He didn't have to go. He could go out the back and Graham would never know. But he didn't want to leave without Graham. He wanted Graham. Wanted him so much. Couldn't actually believe how much. It was crazy, he was crazy. He liked girls. At least he had until tall, blonde and handsome had walked into his life.
When John had told him he had to do a private dance he'd almost shit something. Dancing on stage with the lights in your face so you couldn't see the audience was one thing, but one on one was something else.
When he had opened the door and saw Graham sitting there, eye closed, body relaxed, Xander had felt something pull deep inside of him. Graham had said he was beautiful and it had made him blush, but it was nothing compared to the perfection of the blonde Adonis waiting for him.
Graham had been gentle and slow and so damn hard when Xander had sat in his lap. He'd done that; he'd made Graham that hard. Made him want that much and it had turned Xander on fiercely. Then he had gotten caught up in the music and needed to feel those huge hands on his body.
When Graham has asked to meet him he couldn't say no. Hot lust had still been running through his veins and he couldn't even think of saying no.
Taking a deep breath and steeling his nerves Xander walked out the front door. The parking lot was still full. He scanned the rows of cars and trucks looking for Graham. Movement caught his attention just to the left. Xander couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he watched Graham lean against a deep blue jeep.
The lyrics of the song he had danced to coming back to haunt him.
`He drives a loaded jeep
With seats in the back
If you don't do him soon
You'll have a heart attack.'
And suddenly the nerves were gone. He wanted this, he wanted Graham and he was going to have it, everything was going to be just fine.
The drive to Graham's hotel was short and silent. Once inside Graham's room, Xander let his bag slide to the floor and met Graham halfway for a gentle kiss.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Just, uh, never done this before.”
“We won't do anything you don't want. If you don't like something or if anything I do makes you uncomfortable, tell me. I want this to be good for you.”
Xander nodded his head and leaned into Graham burying his face in the blonde's neck. God, he smelled good. Xander let his tongue out to trace a path along Graham's neck. As Xander's tongue ran circles around Graham's neck, his hands traced the Marine's back.
He heard Graham moan, felt the tightening of his body as Graham held back.
“You won't break me. I want you like you were before.”
“God, Xander, I don't want to scare you with how much I want you.”
“You won't, just touch me.”
Before the words were completely out of his mouth his clothes were already flying off. He wanted to laugh. It felt good, so, so, good to have someone want him like this. Driving need and hot blood flowed through him. Every place Graham touched set him aflame.
Without realizing it Xander ended up naked, flat on his back in the middle of the bed. Graham stood over him, blue eyes blazing fire as they raked his body. His body tightened under Graham's close scrutiny, desire zinging down his spine at the predatory gleam in the other man's eyes.
“You're so beautiful.”
“And you're overdressed.”
Graham wasted no time in remedying the situation and soon Xander found his body covered. Hot hands touched him everywhere setting lights off behind his closed eyes.
A nipple was licked and then pulled into a blazing mouth with hard suction. Xander was dying, he knew it. Nothing could feel this good. Hard strokes of a tongue down his chest, dipping into his belly button before sucking on the skin of his hip. Graham's mouth was everywhere but where Xander needed it most.
“Please, Gray.”
He could feel Graham smile against him. Warm breath tickled his balls just before searing heat and wetness engulfed them. A long hard moan ripped from Xander's chest when seconds later Graham's tongue traveled up his cock dipped into the slit. Long slow stokes along the underside, concentrated pressure just under the head and hard suction had his hips moving restlessly against the bed. With an audible pop Graham released him.
Xander felt hands at the back of his thighs pushing his legs up and against his chest. Wetness stroked down his perineum making Xander whimper. Light tiny flicks against his hole had Xander squirming.
“Gray? What are y—oh, oh, fuck that feels good.”
Xander's back arched off the bed as Graham's tongue sank into his body. His mouth opened and closed, words gone, coherent thought scattered to the corners of the room.
Everything in his body, in his mind was suddenly centered on Graham's tongue working him open, sliding in and out of him.
“God, Gray, so good, so good. Don't stop, please, please.”
His hands fisted in the sheets and his head whipped back and forth. Nothing had ever made him feel this good. Nothing ever would. His hands ached from being clenched, his toes tingled and his whole body was one big quivering mass of pure sensation.
Xander whimpered when too soon Graham slipped free, then watched with hooded eyes as the blond reached across the bed to the nightstand. He couldn't stop his body from trembling. Could hardly stand the ache in his cock. Couldn't remember a time he had ever been so hard.
Pulling a condom and a bottle of massage oil from the drawer, Graham settled back between Xander's thighs.
“You still okay?”
“Yeah. Just want you.”
At Graham's smile Xander's heart melted. No one had ever been this open with him before. No one had ever made him feel like this. This burning in his body and mind was all for Graham, all caused by Graham.
“Tell me if I go too fast.”
Xander felt Graham's slick finger tracing his hole and although he tried not to, his body tensed. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he willed his body to relax.
The first slick slide didn't hurt, just a full burning sensation. One finger was soon two and the stretch and burn increased just shy of painful until Graham crooked his fingers.
“Holy fuck, Gray.”
“You like that?”
“God, yes. D-do that again.”
Two fingers became three and with every second thrust into his body Graham hit that magical spot again driving Xander delirious.
His body was a mass of raw nerves and he couldn't get enough. He needed more and he needed it now.
“Please, Gray, in me. Need you.”
Quickly sliding on the condom and slicking himself Graham braced one hand next to Xander's head and guided himself with the other.
Xander felt the blunt head of Graham's cock pushing against him and he had to force his body to still. This time there was pain and Xander sucked in a harsh breath.
“Breathe slow. That's it, now push out. Yeah, good. Keep that up, the pain will fade.”
Xander focused on Graham's face. He watched pleasure and desire flit through his eyes and by the time Graham was fully inside him the pain had started to fade. Replacing it was a hot fullness Xander knew he would never get tired of.
With each slow stroke out and then back in, Xander's arousal spiked. When Graham knocked against his prostrate his back arched and his blunt nails clawed down Graham's back. Fire exploded behind his eyes and Xander honestly began to think he was going to pass out from the pleasure coursing through him.
He had never felt anything so amazing in his life and he never wanted it to end. His legs came up around Graham's waist pulling him in deeper, harder.
A hand wormed between their bodies and teasing fingers played over the head of Xander's cock. The teasing soon turned into hard sharp twists in counter point to Graham's thrusts.
Xander could feel the build. Could feel the lighting along his spine, curling his finger and toes. Could feel the ache in the pit of stomach spread out along his arms and legs as his balls drew up. Knows he's second's away from coming but desperately tires to hold it off, not wanting this to end.
Graham is panting above him, watching him with eyes so sharp they could cut glass; driving into him hard and deep and fast, all rhythm lost as the blinding pleasure flows through them both.
“Come for me, Xander.”
Xander watches with hot eyes as Graham's head goes back, neck arching, body shaking, his mouth open on a silent moan, and knows he's too far gone to stop now. Couldn't hold back if he had to. Screams Graham's name as he floods his stomach in hot pulses.
Feels Graham's body go rigid seconds before his head drops to Xander's shoulder, hips still thrusting slow and deep, drawing it out for both of them before collapsing beside him.
Suddenly he's back in Graham's arms, delicate kisses falling on his hair and face. Soft hands pulling him into the cradle of muscular arms. Slow strokes along his back have him drifting to sleep without his permission.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Graham racks his brain trying to remember if sex had ever been that good before and he comes up empty. And now he's fucked because he wants it again and again and again. Wants to wake up this way every morning and there's not a damn thing he can do about it.
Doesn't want see the look in those beautiful eyes when he says he's leaving. Who the hell is he trying to kid, he doesn't want to leave. Not now, not tomorrow, not next year. He broke his number one rule, never get emotional.
Way to fuck it up, Miller. Graham knew the plan forming in his mind was awful and cruel but he couldn't see a different way out.
Carefully extracting himself from under Xander, he dresses and packs. Writing a note he leaves it on the nightstand next to the lamp where Xander was sure to see it.
With a soft kiss to the forehead and one last look, Graham left shutting the door quietly behind him.
He's an ass and he knows it. He didn't want it to end this way but there was no way he'd have been able to look into those eyes and say good-bye. Maybe he'd be able to make it back to Oxnard on his next break and make it up to Xander.
Graham snorted at the thought. If the roles were reversed he wouldn't give the guy the time of day. It was a lost cause and he knew it and Graham's heart sank.
The Marine in him told him to get the fuck over it. The man in him knew he'd just left the best thing to ever come into his life asleep and alone in a strange hotel room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander was moody, again. That's what they were saying. He knew it. But he couldn't help it. He had tried with Anya when she came back but it just wasn't the same. He didn't want her. Every time he closed his eyes he was haunted by broad shoulders and hot eyes.
After a few days the anger had faded and depression had taken its place. He still had the note, tucked away in a shoebox that never came off the shelf.
“So, you coming?”
“Huh.”
Willow rolled her eyes at him. Obviously she'd been talking and he had zoned, as usual.
“We're hitting the bronze tonight to meet up with Buffy's new beau and some of his friends. Are you coming?”
“Sure, I guess.”
Willow pulled the worry face and dragged him off to a corner of the Magic Box.
“Xander, what's wrong. You've been...non-Xander like since you came back.”
“Nothing's wrong, just...you know, uh, tired.”
She touched his face gently and Xander had to fight the urge to lean into it; to lay his head on her shoulder like he used to and just unload everything.
“You'd tell me, wouldn't you. I-if something was really wrong, you'd tell me, right?”
Putting on his happy face he smiled at her.
“Of course, but there's nothing to tell.”
Xander knew she wasn't convinced but she wouldn't push.
“Okay. See you tonight.”
He nodded and smiled. Once she was out of sight he dropped the smile and hunched his shoulders. Maybe he needed a night out. Yeah, like the dozens of nights out since he got home had done any good.
What he needed was...and no, he wasn't going to think those thoughts.
Sighing, Xander started the long walk home to get ready for the Bronze.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As soon as the name fell from Buffy's lips Graham needed a drink. It couldn't be. His Xander and this one couldn't be the same person. Fuck, what if it was? What the hell had Finn gotten him into now? Finn hadn't gotten him into anything, your dick had, a voice in his head reminded him.
Graham was at the bar waiting for his drink when Xander walked in. His knees went weak as his mind was flooded with images. Images of Xander beneath him, moaning, begging, coming all over them both. He couldn't do this. He needed to get out of here.
In slow motion Graham saw Riley waving to him. Saw Xander turn, saw the recognition. Oh, God, he couldn't breathe, couldn't move as Xander stared at him. Pain and anger warred for domination in the brunette's eyes. Pain won. Damn. He tried to get his legs to move as he watched Xander tell Riley he'd get his own drink. Watched as stilted steps brought Xander closer.
Watched horrified as Xander struggled to get his emotions under control and hidden away. No, he wanted to scream, don't hide from.
Xander leaned over the bar to order and Graham couldn't help but notice he was just this much thinner and weariness ringed his eyes.
“I—“
“Don't. Just don't. It was months ago. Just...just a fuck, right?”
Graham heard the tremor in his voice. Head the self-loathing, the insecurity. On its own violation his hand reached out.
“God, Graham, don't touch me. If you...I won't be able to--.”
His words stopped abruptly as he turned and headed straight for the bathroom. Graham couldn't leave it like this. Setting his beer down on the bar he followed.
As soon as he swung the door open Xander retreated to the other side of the room.
Checking under each stall, Graham approached Xander.
“I don't deserve a chance to explain, but I'd like one.”
He saw the emotions in Xander break.
“A note, Gray. You left me a fucking note. Do you know what that did to me? God, I'd never been with a guy before, never even wanted to be with one...until you. And you just, just left.”
“Please, let me explain. Just give me that, if you don't want anything to do with me after that, fine, but just give me the chance to explain.”
At Xander's nod Graham turned the lock on the door.
“I didn't want to leave like that. I had to. If I had looked into your face and told you I had to go I never would have left. I'm a gay man in the military. What was I supposed to do?”
“How about tell me the truth.”
“The truth is, it was the most amazing experience of my life and everything in me was screaming to stay. Go AWOL. And that would have been fun. On the run with my male lover from the fucking United States government. That would have been a spectacular relationship, don't you think? Believe me when I tell you that I didn't leave you in that hotel room. Every thought, every dream is of you. And that's the truth. Yeah, I was an ass, but I didn't know what else to do.”
“And now.”
“I'm still in the military, not much has changed. I want...it doesn't matter what I want, you deserve better than what I can give you.”
“I see.”
Xander's head dropped and his hands twisted together.
“You don't see. I want you. So much it's killing me to be this close to you and not touch you, but I can't ask you to hide for me. That's what it would be. We could be together behind closed doors but never in public and neither of us could ever tell anyone. Not Buffy, not Riley, no one. You deserve so much better than that.”
Graham watched as Xander came forward with halting steps until there was barely any space between them.
“Touch me.”
“Xander...”
“Touch me, Gray. Make me feel like that again, please. I don't think I care if we have to hide. I just need you.”
“God, Xander. This is such a bad idea. I'm gonna hurt you and it's all going to end so badly and you deserve so much—“
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Graham couldn't stop the groan at the sound of Xander's breathless plea. Closing the small space between them, Graham pulled Xander into his arms and took his mouth fast and hard.
He could hear Xander moaning and Graham couldn't think of any sound on earth that was better. Desire fired his blood and made him instantly, achingly hard.
Xander's hips worked frantically against his. Sucking kisses landed on every inch of free skin. Hands clawed, caressed and clutched.
This, this is what Graham had been missing. What he had needed as much as he needed oxygen. His entire world centered around the squirming body in his arms.
He felt hands at his belt. Trembling fingers brushed against Graham's enclosed cock and he threw his head back on long low moan. Opening his eyes Graham took in the ceiling and the stalls.
Realization dawned bringing reality crashing down.
“Not here.”
“Yes, here. Now.”
Xander dropped to his knees, hands fumbling with button and zipper.
“No, it's...”
He could hear the frustrated breath Xander released.
“You're killin' me here, Gray. I want you and at this point, we could be in the middle of the tundra for all I care.”
Graham clasped Xander's shoulders and pulled him up and into his arms.
“I know. I just want it to be better than this place.”
“Okay, you win. Follow me to my place. I'll meet you in the parking lot in twenty minutes.”
With a final kiss Xander left him alone. Looking at his watch he knew he'd have just enough time to blow smoke up Finn's ass and get the hell out of there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It had been two weeks. Two weeks since they had taken Adam down. Two weeks since he'd last seen Graham being herded into a military transport headed out of town.
Graham had said he would call as soon as he could but Riley had been back for almost a week now and still no word from Graham. Xander had passed worried about three exits back and was steadily moving onto the depressed freeway.
The worst part was he couldn't tell the gang what had him on edge. Worse this time than the last because of how deeply he cared for the Marine. Xander could clearly recall every night they had spent together. He could picture every stolen kiss, every whispered word.
Graham had taken to spending the night every other day and Xander missed waking up next to him. Xander sighed, staring into his coffee, thinking about Graham wasn't getting his bathroom cleaned.
After scrubbing practically every surface he could think of, there was nothing left to do until Buffy, Riley and Willow got there. They had decided they all needed a night off from patrolling and had rented movies.
A knock on the door startled him. Checking his watch he realized it was probably Willow.
The sight on the other side of the door had his knees shaking and moisture forming in his eyes.
“Hi.”
Xander launched himself at Graham. Wrapping his arms around a strong waist, Xander nuzzled Graham's neck and clung tightly.
“You're here.”
“Yeah. Sorry it took so long.”
“I don't care how long it took. How long can you stay?”
Xander felt himself being propelled backward into his apartment. A slight blush stained his cheeks at the thirteen-year-old girl display of affection he just heaped upon Graham.
“Well, uh, there's a little catch with that.”
Xander's heart dropped. Turning his back and walking to the couch, he sat and prepared himself for the speech. He had wondered how long it would take for Graham to get tired of him. For him to move on. For his career to take him places Xander could never even hope to see.
The couch shifted beside him as Graham sat.
“I'm out. I left the Marines. I was hoping that I hadn't worn out my welcome here.”
Xander sat stunned staring open-mouthed.
“What?”
“I'm in love with you.”
Xander knew he was supposed to say something here but words escaped him. Graham was in love with him. Holy shit, Graham loved him, him, Xander Harris.
“Xan, could you say something. I just kinda laid it all out there and you're not samng—“
Graham never got a chance to finish his sentence. Xander was all over him in ten seconds flat. Words were unnecessary and inadequate when Xander's mouth and body could show him in a much better way just how he felt.
Xander's hands flew over Graham's clothes, each piece falling away lighting quick. Naked, he needed Graham naked. Within minutes Graham lay prone and bare beneath Xander's needy gaze.
Without any finesse he took Graham's cock fully into his mouth. Lips closed around the head and sucked hard, drawing out precious drop of pre-ejaculate. God, he had missed this. Missed the feel and taste of Graham on his tongue. Missed the sharply indrawn breaths and gasps as he pulled Graham to the back of his throat and swallowed convulsively.
Graham tried to protest as Xander pulled back. Taking his hand, Xander led him to the bedroom.
“As much as I want to taste you, I need you in me. It's been too long.”
He watched in satisfaction as blue eyes narrowed in need. Rough, shaking hands removed his clothes. Crawling across the bed Xander grabbed the oil off the nightstand and tossed it to Graham.
Xander knew there weren't going to be any sweet caresses. There weren't going to be any long foreplay session. It was going to be hard and fast and desperate and Xander didn't want it any other way. He needed Graham to take him. Needed Graham to lay claim to his body as surely as he had Xander's soul.
Positioning himself on hands and knees he waited. Breath coming in anticipatory pants as arousal continued to spike with each second.
He watched as Graham lay down next to him.
“No. I want you to ride me.”
“Fuck, Gray.”
He felt Graham pressing the oil into his hand.
“I want to watch you get yourself ready.”
Oh, God, Xander was going to die from the heat rising in his body. His hands shook as he poured oil over his fingers and reached behind himself. With the first finger his eyes fell closed and his breath rasped out on a moan.
“Did you do this, Xander? Did you fuck yourself while I was gone, imaging it was me? Thinking about my cock in your ass?”
“Yes.”
Almost breathless now as two fingers reached deep and stroked against his prostrate.
“Fuck yourself for me. Feels good doesn't it? So hot and tight inside. Almost kills me when I'm inside you. Feels so fucking good. Add another finger, baby.”
“Can't...too close. Need you, please, Graham.”
“Yeah, God, Xander, you're so beautiful like this. C'mere.”
Xander scrambled to straddle Graham's hips. He couldn't wait any longer. With only a few quick strokes to slick Graham, Xander settled himself and took Graham into his body with one fast downward plunge.
“Shit, Xan, don't move. Don't move or it's gonna be over.”
Hands clenched on Xander's hips holding him in place. Xander struggled to stay still. He knew he was whimpering and he couldn't care.
The first hard push of Graham's hips drove a raspy scream from Xander's throat. Xander picked up the slow rhythm and tired to push it harder, faster. Tried to make it what he needed, what he craved.
“More.”
Hips snapped and the sound of wet flesh against wet flesh filled the room. There was no rhythm, no finesse, just burning need spiraling out of control. He was so close Xander could almost taste it. Could see it behind his eyes as his body strained for it. Graham's name fell from his lips in a steady chant.
With the first touch on his cock, his head fell back, his back arched, his hands scrabbled for purchase on the hard thighs behind him as his hips slammed down again and again.
Two strokes and he was gone; flying, fireworks shooting in his brain as he came hard.
Before the shakes had stopped Graham grasped him around the waist and rolled them.
The deep almost brutal force with which Graham was driving into him prolonged Xander's orgasm as rough hits landed one right after another against his prostrate.
Seconds later Graham's body tightened and a low moan escaped his mouth as he emptied himself inside Xander's body.
Soothing strokes traced Graham's spine as his breathing slowed. The happiness inside Xander bubbled forth in barely restrained laughter. Graham had come back to him, had chosen him and Xander was ecstatic
“I love you, Gray.”
Graham's eyes sparked as he looked up. With a soft kiss, Xander knew he'd finally found what he had been looking for.
“Does this mean we can tell people now?”
“We can shout it from the rooftops if it'll make you happy.”
“That's good, `cause, uh, well they're going to be here in about twenty minutes.”
Rolling to his side Graham draped his arm across Xander's stomach.
“They?”
“Buffy, Riley and Willow.”
“So, how about a shower?”
Xander smiled. His life had just taken a turn for the better. Excitement streamed through him as Graham followed him to the bathroom. Life was good.