Billy Corgan : Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer : Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

~~~

Lucy Lawless : I'll take you home.
[Lucy flies off, carrying Bart and Lisa]
Lisa : Hey, Xena can't fly!
Lucy Lawless : I told you, I'm not Xena. I'm Lucy Lawless.

~~~

Mark Hamill: Hey everybody. I'm here today as Luke Skywalker, but I'm also here to talk about Sprint. As you can see here, you can save up to three times more than the more dependable companies.
Audience Member: Talk about Star Wars!
Homer : Shut up, you stupid nerds!   He's trying to save you money on long distance calls!

~~~

Mark Hamill: [singing to the tune of "Luck Be A Lady"] Luke be a Jedi tonight! Just be a Jedi tonight! Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda!

~~~

Fox Mulder: Look at this, Scully - there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Dana Scully:   Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.

~~~

Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer : Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully : Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer : We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?

~~~

Leonard Nimoy : Good evening, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false.   It's all lies.   But they're entertaining lies, so in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is "no."

~~~

Regis Philben : My eyes!   My beautiful eyes!!

~~~

George Washington: We had quitters in the Revolution, too. We called them "Kentuckians."

~~~

Hollis Hurlbut [to Lisa]   Now get out! You're banned from this historical society! You and your children, and your children's children! ...For three months.

~~~

[Homer is a limo driver]
Homer : Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks! You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me!
Mel Brooks : Umm, thanks.

~~~