Now With Seventy-Five Percent More Gay
Notes

Too bad the good ones are always gay.

Too bad the good ones are always gay.

If Wesley had had a pound for every time he'd heard someone say that about him since he'd come to America, he'd-

Well, he'd certainly be living in a far nicer flat by now.

But then, he wouldn't have crossed paths again with Angel either, or have taken up with Angel Investigations, and so perhaps it was for the best that he hadn't been paid for every slur on what was left of his honor.

Although to be perfectly honest, Wesley wasn't entirely certain it was a slur precisely, when it was true. Or partially true. Half true.

Oh, all right, roughly three quarters true, but that was as far as he was prepared to go.

It wasn't as if anything would come of those three quarters of truth, as all of them were currently fixated on roughly six-foot-two-inches of brooding vampire with his head so far up his bum that-

No, it wasn't fair of Wesley to think of Angel in that way. He had more important things in his unlife, after all, than the attentions of a wittering Englishman who was admittedly a bit of a big girl's blouse.

"Wes? Wesley?"

Wesley's head turned around so quickly he had to hide his wince when something snapped in his spine. "Yes, Angel?"

"Is everything all right out here?"

"Of course, Angel!" Wesley hid another wince. Even he could hear the exclamation point at the end of the sentence. Bright. Happy. Everything perfectly . . . perfect! Oh marvelous, now even his thoughts were growing exclamation points at the end in Angel's presence.

And when had Angel begun to wear cologne? Because Wesley was certain he would have noticed it before then. It was rather nice. Something rather spicy and musky. "Are you sure?"

"Quite! Quite certain!" And really, did Angel have to lean so close to him? It was entirely unseemly. It was behavior like this that led to so many eligible young ladies deciding Wesley was gay, he was positive. Or perhaps it was the way he couldn't seem to stop staring at Angel's lips, and he did have a rather nice smile when he smiled that way, and what was Angel doing smiling at him anyway? Wesley drew himself up, attempting to wrap the tatters of professionalism around him before his imagination got away from him completely, and he did something silly like imagine Angel might have noticed Wesley's silly schoolboy crush. "Did you need something, Angel?"

"Yeah," Angel said, and why wasn't he moving away? Did Wesley have spinach between his teeth? He certainly hoped not as it'd been weeks since he last had any and wouldn't that be embarrassing?

"Do I have something on my face?" The question slipped out before Wesley could stop it, and he raised a hand to wipe as surreptitiously as he possibly could with less than a foot of space between them.

Angel caught Wesley's hand before it could make contact, and Wesley held very, very still as he felt Angel's cool tongue rasp over the corner of his mouth, leaving behind a trail that really shouldn't burn like that given that it was cold, and Angel was cold, and he was fairly sure that vampire saliva was cold as well. And did that count as a kiss?!

It would be nice to stop shaking now, he informed his body, looking up at Angel with wide eyes, because he was absolutely positive that he was hallucinating. "Not anymore," Angel said, and retreated back to his office, but not before stealing one of Wesley's jelly donuts from the plate next to his tea.