The Radio Parlour

Your curator ~ Juri Renee

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The Eyes of Mr Leyton
Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce

Holmes: New disguise, eh? Well, which one shall it be, Watson?

Watson: How about the old flower-seller? I love that one!

Holmes: (Crinkled old lady voice) Violets! Pretty fresh violets! (Watson laughs) No no no, my dear fellow, no; hardly appropriate for an opium den, and in any case, the clothes are so wretchedly uncomfortable.

Watson: Well, how about the music hall singer?

Holmes: Oh, that chap, yes. (Breaks into song) "Oh I do want to be beside the sea-side, oh I do want to be beside the sea, I do want to stroll along the prom-prom-prom, where the brass band plays tiddle-de-um" (Stops singing as bell rings) Oh confound it!

The Adventure of the Iron Maiden
Tom Conway and Nigel Bruce

(Holmes, Watson and Miss Adbury are walking through an old German torture chamber at the end of the case)

Miss Adbury: Um..are you a bachelor, Dr. Watson?

Watson: A bachelor? Er, yes, y-yes I-I am.

Miss Adbury: The Rhine scenery, they say, is most romantic.

Watson: Eh, yes, eh, so I've heard, so I've heard....uh, just a moment, Holmes!

Holmes: Yes, Watson?

Watson: My shoelace has come undone. You go on ahead, Miss Adbury, we'll catch up with you in a minute.

Miss Adbury: Alright! Don't be long!

Watson: I say Holmes, you take her back to the hotel, I've got something else to do!

Holmes: Um...going to change our tickets, Watson?

Watson: Wha--how'd you know?

Holmes: I thought you might be thinking of giving up the Rhine trip and getting out of Germany by the fastest train.

Watson: A brilliant deduction, Holmes.

Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

The Case of the Roman Toga
John Stanley and Alfred Shirley

(Holmes and Watson climb through a hole in an ancient Roman bath)

Holmes: Now then, Watson, alley-oop!

Watson: Don't be in such a rush! Here, take the lantern. A tight squeeze, you know I---hullo! I think I'm stuck!

Holmes: If you'll pull his other arm, Sir George.

Sir George: Right.

Watson: Ooh! Umph! Whew, glad to be out of that!

Holmes: I told you you should go on a diet, Watson.

Watson: Oh, just because you're satisfied to look like a walking skeleton, you...hullo this is gloomy looking spot.

~ Musical Interlude ~

Saint-Saëns: Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso

This particular piece appeals to me because the music changes often, from
slow to medium to frantic-paced and back again, reflecting of Sherlock Holmes' inner mood.
I can hear him playing this when he is frustrated, wistful, or even pleased and proud.

Professor Moriarty and the Diamond Jubilee
John Stanley and Alfred Shirley

Watson: Dash it all!

Holmes: What seems to be the difficulty, Watson?

Watson: Oh everything's shrunk; my collar, my waistcoat, even my evening pumps! Why it is when everything laid away in mothballs for a few months it inevitably comes out a size smaller?

Holmes: It couldn't be because you've grown a size larger, I suppose?

Watson: Oh shut up, I--! There, you see! You see what happens when I lose my temper!

Holmes: What?

Watson: I just popped another button!

Holmes: I suggest you descend to the kitchen and allow Mrs Hudson to repair the damage. (Bell rings) Now what?

Watson: Sounds like one of your confounded clients

Holmes: Don't worry, I'll get rid of him in short order. Better take the back stairs down to the kitchen, Watson; you don't want to be caught in, uh, disarray in case the client is a lady.

Watson: Oh, good Lord!

Holmes: (Chuckles as Watson closes the door, then sings a little) "Flowers that bloom in the spring, tra-la... (Door knocks) Come in!

The Golden Pince-Nez
Jeremy Brett and Rosalie Williams

Holmes: Watson's only cure for any ailment is albinus powder and a grated apple.

(Mycroft chuckles)

Mrs Hudson: Mr Holmes, you know you only say that because you miss the doctor!

Holmes: (Crumples up paper, then shyly changes subject) Cigar?

The Dying Detective ¹
Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke

Holmes: It's him. Hide!

Watson: Hide?

Holmes: Quick, if you love me!

The Dying Detective ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Ah yes, ah, charades, perhaps!

Watson: Oh for heaven's sake...

Holmes: Y-yes, l-l-let me see, yes, let me see the good doctor cavort in charades; yes... (Panting uneasily) But if the answer's an oyster... (Laughs) The frolic's waved! (Laughs weakly, breaking into soft sobs as violin music begins to play)

~ Musical Interlude ~

Toshiyuki O'Mori: Breakdown
[originally entitled 'Vain']

Even the most inhuman reasoning machine would rust his body with warm tears.
Go ahead, Sherlock, let yourself go tonight, just for him...

Sinister Crate of Cabbages ¹John Stanley

(Holmes travelling with train inspector)

Holmes: If I could only be sure my friend got home safely. I have the strangest foreboding as if my friend were..well, trying to tell me something.

(Train whistle)

Inspector: Ah well, that's what happens to a man. Just like me and Emelyne, that's my wife..heh, that's what love does to a man.

Holmes: My case is not similar, I assure you.

Inspector: I know, you just live with you friend. Believe me, there's very little difference.

Holmes: (Annoyed) Believe me, there's a great deal of difference! My friend happens to be a man. A happily married man.

Inspector: With children?

Holmes: No.

Inspector: (Suggestively) Oh...

Sinister Crate of Cabbages ²John Stanley and Alfred Shirley

Holmes: Splendid!

Watson: What's so good about that?

Holmes: Moriarty may have slipped through our fingers again, but thanks to your efforts, Watson, we've discovered the whereabouts of his famous laboratory!

Watson: Hmm..how so?

Holmes: Elementary my dear Watson. It must be the address on this crate. The one you're using as a bed! (Laughs)

Watson: Well, I must say, I don't see anything so funny about it!

Holmes: When I was very young, I had a nurse who used to tell me that new babies were found among the cabbages. My dear Watson, I never dreamed I'd find you under similar circumstances! (Laughs)

(Ending organ music)

~ Musical Interlude ~

Ryan Cabrera: True

The lyrics reflect both Holmes and Watson's point of view towards each other;
how Holmes has feelings of affection but rarely shows them,
and how Watson admires Holmes's special qualities.

Either way, both cannot be complete without the other.

The Naval Treaty ¹Jeremy Brett

Holmes: What a lovely thing...a rose is. There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as in religion. It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. It is only goodness which gives extras. And so I say again...we have much to hope for...from the flowers.

The Naval Treaty ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: The uncle he referred to in his letter is Lord Holdhurst.

Holmes: Hmm..present foreign minister..very well connected, your Mr. Phelps.

Watson: It didn't do him much good at school, though. We used to chevy him about the playground, and hit him over the shins with a wicket because of it.

Holmes: (Muttering) What monsters little boys can be..

Watson: We were quite big boys.

(Both laugh)

The Naval Treaty ³Clive Merrison, Michael Williams and Joanna Myers

Watson: Don't worry, Ms. Harrison. Holmes won't let you down. I don't know another man I would trust more if my head were on the block.

Ms Harrison: Oh,well I hope you don't think marriage is like putting your head in a block!

Watson: Er, no no, that's not what I..

(Interruption as Holmes bursts in conveniently)

The Naval Treaty ⁴Michael Williams and Patrick Malahyde

Watson: There's some new fangled theories about the mind of man. Some people think it's like the ocean; calm enough on the surface, but underneath..mmm, yer be dragons! Black, ugly monsters lurking in the depths.

Phelps: Really?

Watson: Yes. So you make sure that you sail your boat on the top of the waves.

Phelps: I shall. You're a good man, Watson.

Watson: Yes..that's what Holmes always says.

The Naval Treaty ⁵Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Yes, it was too bad to spring it on you like this, but Watson here knows I can never resist a touch of the dramatic!

Watson: Even if it means a near heart attack..

Holmes: Oh, nonsense! Mr. Phelps is in splendid shape!

Watson: I was talking about myself, Holmes!

(Holmes laughs)

Watson: Really sometimes I think you're... (Mumbles to himself as Holmes chuckles)

The Naval Treaty ⁶Clive Merrison and Stephen Tompkinson

Holmes: (As Mr. Harrison trembles beneath him) Now listen to me, you wretched, squirming creature! The affairs of state dictate that your prosecution would cause more trouble and vexation that it's worth. But, at any time in the future, all the details can be handed over to Forbes of Scotland Yard, and then you'd find yourself in prison for a considerable amount of time, do you understand me?

Harrison: Y-yes...thank you Mr. Holm--

Holmes: Oh no, don't you thank me, Harrison... (Growls) Look at me, look! Look in my eyes! Believe what I say; one error, one slight little straying from the path, and I shall crush you underfoot, as I would a slug on a damp autumn day. I have put my mark on you, Master Joseph, and you will carry it til the day you die!

~ Musical Interlude ~

Bach's Double Violin Concerto in D Minor, 1st Movement

The piece was used on the "Adventures of Sherlock Holmes" Granada TV series promo.

A timeless music composition for a timeless man.

The Strange Case of the End of Civilization as We Know It
John Cleese, Arthur Lowe and Stratford Johns

Police Commissionaire: You've, uh, no doubt read, Mr Holmes...

Doctor William Watson: Good Lord!

Police Commissionaire: Read in the, uh, newspapers...

Doctor William Watson: Great Scott!

Police Commissionaire: Of certain mysterious incidents?

Arthur Sherlock Holmes: The unexpected, but accurate bisecting of the Belgian foreign minister, the Royal College of Needlework massacre, the strange affair of the seven boiled bishops, and the man-eating poodles of Lambeth Palace enigma?

Police Commissionaire: No.

Doctor William Watson: Good Lord!

Arthur Sherlock Holmes: Just as I thought.

Police Commissionaire: No, I'm referring to the mysterious shooting of Doctor Grobia. We believe this to be the work of one man.

Doctor William Watson: Good Lord!

Arthur Sherlock Holmes: Shut up!

Doctor William Watson: Certainly, Holmes.

The Red-Headed League
Michael Williams

Watson: And with that Holmes vanished into the crowd as if he had never been. For my part, I made my way home to Kenningston and my wife. Mary, bless her, had rightly guessed where I had been and with whom. Yet did no more than to accuse me of marrying her under the false pretense that while all the world believed she held my heart, in reality, it belonged to Holmes.

The Boscombe Valley Mystery
Clive Merrison and Donald Gee

Holmes: Here is where the body lay...here, three separate tracks of the same feet; young McCarthy's feet...twice walking, once running...ah...what's this? Ah, the butt-end of the gun rested here...and there...(chuckles) Lestrade...a mole could trace him! What have we here? Ah, square capped boots, unusual boots, left foot normal, right foot dragging, yes...aah...a single thread of wool snagged on this bark...splendid...now....

Lestrade: Mr. Holmes!

Holmes: (under his breath) Inspector...!

Lestrade: Mr. Holmes!

Holmes: (starts growling like a dog)

Lestrade: (taken aback) Charming!

The Blue Carbuncle
Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Watson...

(Awkward silence)

Watson: Holmes...this is damnably rude of me but...w-well, I know you dine very late as a rule...

Holmes: (Words slightly broken) Absolutely true doctor...are you about to tell me that I'm ruining my digestion?

Watson: (Uneasy laugh) Actually, I was..I was wondering if Mrs. Hudson might stretch to providing for two.

Holmes: (Not quite believing his ears) For two?

Watson: Oh, Mary will have gone to bed hours ago, the..whole household...I realize it's a dreadful imposition.

Holmes: I believe I can...tolerate it.

Watson: Thank you, Holmes.

(Silence)

Holmes: Thank you, my friend.

Silver Blaze
Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: I've never known a man who so despised fresh air!

Holmes: (Laughs boisterously)

Watson: And before we start in on my shortcomings, may I say that nothing I've ever done could possible irritate you half as much as that laugh irritates me!

Holmes: (Stunned) Really?

Watson: Really!

Holmes: (Muttering) Oh..that's fascinating! W-why haven't you mentioned this before? Perhaps your forthcoming nuptials have given you a new spirit of frankness...do you intend to be this direct with the excellent Ms. Morstan?

Watson: We will not discuss Miss Morstan, if you don't mind...

Holmes: It would make an absolutely splendid monograph..uh..yes.."Upon the Classification of Non-Verbal Utterances and Their Effects on Various Listeners"....

Watson: Good God, and you have the infernal gall to criticize my writing?!

~ Musical Interlude ~

Richard Drigo: Valse Bluette

This little waltz is just too cute for words!
Holmes decides turn-about is fair play, and comes back with a little flirtation of his own.

The Yellow Face ¹Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: Excuse my asking, but um...anything wrong?

Holmes: What way wrong?

Watson: Well, I hesitate to say but...you look un-well, Holmes.

Holmes: Do I indeed?

Watson: Not unwell, are you?

Holmes: No, Watson, I am not un-well, at least not what is normally meant by the term.

Watson: Then what, uh--

Holmes: Bored is what I am, my dear fellow; when I'm between cases I feel bored, bored to my very bones, bored!

Watson: Then perhaps another drink would help.

Holmes: (Groaning) Oh, very well. Anything to halt your needless concern.

Watson: (Small growl) Nothing like a drink when you're down in the dumps.

Holmes: Except for cocaine, Watson. (Watson grumbles) That is the magic potion that gives me glimpses of paradise!

Watson: Yes, and brings you down to earth with a bump.

Holmes: Like love, I'm told.

Watson: Yes. Strange business, love. Nothing lasts, they say.

Holmes: They're right, Watson. Nothing is forever, though boredom, I must say, gives a remarkably good impression of it.

The Yellow Face ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Cases are my reason; my only real reason for living. "If you will not promise to love forever, said the man to his lady love, what is point of forever?"

Watson: (Sighs) I still think the view beautiful from here.

Holmes: (Muttering) Oh..? What's it like at midnight?

Watson: Oh, cheer up, old friend, something will happen!

Holmes: Of course. It always does.

The Yellow Face ³Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Well, what do ya think of my theory, Watson? (Silence) Watson? (Silence again) Wake up, Watson...

Watson: (Fire crackling behind him) Good night, Holmes.

Holmes: (Resigned) Good night, Watson.

The Musgrave Ritual ¹Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

(Holmes and Watson grunt as they push and pull at a large metal box snagged on the carpet, both fall and laugh as they lay sprawled on the floor)

Holmes: Are you alright, Watson?

Watson: (Still laughing, trying to catch his breath) Yes, I think so...

Holmes: Good.

Watson: No bones broken anyway. (Pants a little) Must be stronger than we thought, eh, Holmes?

Holmes: (Chuckling) No more than we deserve for trying to "box clever".

(This is a British slang term for being cunning and keeping your wits about you; Holmes used it as a bad joke)

(Both men chuckle)

Watson: (Sigh) Box clever..! Really Holmes!

Holmes: Oh, I do apologize. (Giggles)

Watson: None required...(Sighs again) "Box clever"..tsk, tsk tsk...

Holmes: It wouldn't do for Mrs. Hudson to come in just now, eh? Lying on the floor like two naughty school boys?

Watson: Oh, no, wouldn't do at all.

Holmes: Although I do suspect there may well be something of the naughty school girl in Mrs Hudson..

Watson: Steady on, Holmes!

Holmes: (Whines to push his point across)

The Musgrave Ritual ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: (Stretching) I must say..this carpet is really rather comfortable.

Holmes: (Fiddling with box hinges) And kind to the knees.

Watson: You know Holmes, you really are quite impossible at times!

~ Musical Interlude ~

The Rain Washes the Tears Away

A perfect piece for those moments of disappointment, longing,
and intensely introverted emotions one cannot put into words.

The Reigate Squires ¹Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: As your friend, Holmes, and as a doctor, I strongly advise you to take advantage of this invitation. A change of air, a change of habit..

Holmes: Hmm...do you have uh..one particular habit in mind?

Watson: D'ooh, you know I do!

The Reigate Squires ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Would you care to examine this, Watson?

Watson: I'd really rather not. And I'd rather you didn't either.

Holmes: Aah...forgive the good doctor, Inspector, he's grumpy this morning; didn't sleep well.

The Reigate Squires ³Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Ah, Watson, my dear fellow!

Watson: (Exasperated) Holmes, what on earth are y--

Holmes: Your country trip has done me the world of good, I've had a charming morning; first we viewed the corpse...

Watson: Charming indeed! And a busy morning, too, I take it!

Holmes: Oh, busy enough, busy enough, I've seen some very interesting things, and now here, in this beautiful, medicinal field they've all come together in my refreshed and happy mind!

Watson: Holmes, this isn't wise!

Holmes: (Almost singing to himself in glee) Oh, I lay no claims to wisdom; merely high intelligence, keen observation, and a proper method!

The Reigate Squires ⁴Clive Merrison and Peter Davidson

Holmes: You must make a point of never having any prejudices. No, I follow docilely wherever fact may lead me.

Inspector Bob Forestor: But it's more than that; imagination, too--daring imagination!

Holmes: Oooh, careful now! You sound dangerously like a certain doctor I know...

The Greek Interpreter
Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: You realize, of course, Holmes, that we really should report her confession to the police.

Holmes: Which confession is that, Watson?

Watson: The one the Greek girl made to you.

Holmes: Which Greek girl is that?

Watson: (Understanding) Oh..I see.

Holmes: Good.

Watson: There are certainly times, my dear Holmes, when you prefer to adopt a certain loss of memory.

Holmes: I don't know what you're talking about.

Watson: You see what I mean?

Holmes: Oh, don't spoil the picnic, Watson; I'm having such a lovely day..!

Watson: You're still wrong, though, aren't you?

Holmes: Well now, as you would say, old friend, "it's rather open to discussion." But I say, let's open the hamper!

The Case of the Deranged Botanist ¹Royston Hudd and Christopher Emitt

Watson: Holmes! Oh, he doesn't seem to be here at the moment. Hullo, what's this book he's left open on his favorite armchair by the fire which of course we don't require lit at moment it being the middle of August with London currently sweltering in a tropical style heat wave.

Let me see..."The Art of Disguise, volume Seven; Transmodification into Inanimate Objects".

Holmes :(Sing-song) Hell-o-o-oo!

Watson: Oh! Who's there? Holmes, is that you?

Holmes: (Sing-song) You can't see me, can you?

Watson: Oh, come along Holmes, I am not in the mood for childish parlor games; it is too dashed hot!

Holmes: I'll give you a sweetie if you can spot me!

Watson: One that take ages to suck?

Holmes: Your favorites!

Watson: No it's no good, I can't see you.

Holmes: You can if you try. Face the window and observe... (Rustle of leaves) Voila!

Watson: Great heavens! That's truly amazing, Holmes! That was you all along?

Holmes: Yes, Watson, my latest disguise: a potted aspidistra! As you corrected surmised during your somewhat verbose ramblings to yourself a moment ago, I have progressed from human character impersonation to inanimate objects!

Watson: Why?

Holmes: Why? To enable me to spy on my adversaries in a silent and undetectable manner! I fooled Mrs. Hudson with it, you know. To my detriment, I might add.

Watson: Really, what happened?

Holmes: The silly cow watered my stalk!

The Case of the Deranged Botanist ²Royston Hudd and Christopher Emitt

Watson: How are you progressing with your analysis of the clump, Holmes?

Holmes: Later Watson. In the meantime, I feel like a snog...

Watson: I beg your pardon?

Holmes: I'm sorry; a typing error in the script... I should have said "I feel like a song"!

Watson: Oh!

Holmes: Be so kind as to accompany me on the piano forte!

Watson: Oh well, certainly Holmes! What song are you going to sing?

Holmes: How about the one we did at rehearsals this afternoon?

Watson: If you insist.

Holmes: (Playing and singing): There was once a poor young girl who lived in the country, and she came to the city to seek employment.
Oh she left her country home because the wolf was at the door, and her father had fallen down and hurt his knee.
Just before she left for the city, her boyfriend, whose name was Jack, said to her, "I fear you might not be true."
So he made her promise him before she got into the train that every night at 8 o'clock she would burst into tears.
Don't anticipate, Watson.

~ Musical Interlude ~

Edward Elgar: La Capricieuse

Picture if you will. John Watson, the humanist, the romantic. Sherlock Holmes,
the man with the heart of stone and a marble countenance to match.
This piece can best be described as "flirty". Oh, Watson, you tease!

The Empty House ¹Clive Merrison, Michael Williams and Kate Binchy

Holmes: (narrates the letter he left for Watson) Pray give my regards to Mrs. Watson, and believe me to be, my dear fellow, very sincerely yours, Sherlock Holmes.

Watson: (voice thick with emotion) Holmes...HOLMES!

Holmes: (shouting in the distance) WATSON!

Watson: Holmes?

Holmes: DOCTOR WATSON!

Watson: HOLMES!

(A lady's voice from far away replaces Holmes) Doctor Watson!

Watson: What...

Nurse: Doctor Watson.

(Watson mumbles in his sleep, then awakens)

Nurse: Doctor Watson, are you awake?

Watson: N-nurse...oh my God...how could I have fallen asleep?

Nurse: It's perfectly understandable. You're exhausted.

The Empty House ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: (in disguise as old man) You should fill that gap in the bookcase; it's untidy.

Watson: What gap?

Holmes: (still in disguise) There.

Watson: Ah, I see where you mean, but, I hardly think it's...(stops and stares)

Holmes: (as himself) How do you do, Watson?

Watson: (staggered gasp)

Holmes: I trust I find you well.

(Watson cries out as he falls in a dead faint, upsetting the contents on his desk. A violin sharply plays, Holmes gets a glass carafe and pours out some water as music ends)

The Empty House ³Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: (gulps down water, then sputters and coughs)

Holmes: My dear Watson, I owe you thousand apologizes. I had no idea that you'd be so affected.

Watson: (still shaky) H-Holmes...is it...really you? You're alive...it's..it's impossible!

Holmes: (gently) Wait, wait. Are you sure you're fit to discuss things? I've given you a serious shock.

Watson: No. I-I-I'm alright, I'm alright.

Holmes: Well, perhaps it was an unnecessarily dramatic appearance.

Watson: (overcome) I...I can hardly believe my eyes...to think that you..you of all men should ..should be..standing...in my study!

The Empty House ⁴Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: Holmes, where are we?

Holmes: Don't you know?

Watson: You seem to have lead me through every mews and stableyard in London.

Holmes: I see three years hasn't improved your tendency to exaggeration.

Watson: Or yours to sarcasm.

Holmes: Touche.

The Empty House ⁵Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Watson: The shadow's moved.

Holmes: Eh? Yes, of course, it's moved. Am I such a farcical bungler that I should erect an obvious dummy and expect one of the sharpest men in Europe to be deceived by it?

Watson: (aghast) You surely haven't got Mrs Hudson...

Holmes: One change every ten minutes. She crawls in below window level.

Watson: That's outrageous!

Holmes: Oh, she enjoys that sort of thing.

Watson: Holmes!

The Norwood Builder ¹
Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: My dear fellow...I'm sorry to say...that there must be no more stories.

Watson: (Startled) Holmes?

Holmes: For the present, at least. No more...adventurous exploits in the Strand Magazine. It has to stop.

Watson: I don't know what to say...um...I mean, I...I know you've never liked my writing, but uh...I didn't think...

Holmes: (Gently) No, no no, no, no, Watson. Your merits as a purveyor of romantic fiction have nothing to do with it.

Watson: Then why, for heaven's sake?

Holmes: I...no longer...seek the applause.

Watson: (Deep sigh) Well...

Holmes: I'm sorry.

Watson: "I have it in me to make my name famous".

Holmes: The Jefferson Hope case. The words of a different man.

Watson: Oh, surely not. Well, younger of course--

Holmes: Different. Different. I have other goals now.

Watson: And they lie in different directions?

Holmes: They do.

Watson: The inner world rather than the outer.

Holmes: Exactly. (Smiles softly) Perceptive of you.

Watson: Well, I've been reading up. The Far East. Tibet. Buddhism.

The Norwood Builder ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: (Odd chuckle, then bursts out laughing and claps his hands) Oh, oh, t-t-this is a very sad development, Watson, don't you agree? (Laughs again)

Watson: Holmes, for pity's sake!

Holmes: (Sighs) Sorry, sorry, oh, my dear fellow, forgive me. (Slight cough) The fact is, there's only one really serious flaw in Lestrade's vital new evidence! Yes...come along, let's take a little stroll in the sunshine.

The Norwood Builder ³Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: (To the tune of La donna e mobile) La-la-la-la-la la la, loo, loo, loo...

Watson: (Very impatient) Holmes, you've examined this wretched house from the basement to the attic!

Holmes: Astute piece of observation, doctor.

Watson: Now look, I know perfectly well that something's happened, and that you've seen something or thought of something that I've missed, and I don't mind! In fact, I'm delighted, because I thought it was all up with our client, but would you please tell me what is going on!

Holmes: There are unique features about this case, Watson. I believe it's time that we took friend Lestrade into our confidence! (Goes off in distance)

Watson: What do you mean "Our confidence"? (Knocks at door)

The Priory School ¹Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Quite right Doctor [Huxable], quite right; Watson, would you be so kind as to order us a four-wheeler?

Watson: (Under his breath) *Sigh* There are times when I think it might be simpler if I were to change places with Mrs. Hudson.

Holmes: Hmm?

The Priory School ²Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: (Whispering) Yes, Wilder and his guest, whoever he may be, are up above. See? Where that lighted window is. I, uh, I must have a peep through it, Watson.

Watson: (Also whispering) And I know exactly what you're going to ask. My back...is at your disposal.

Holmes: Thank you.

(Holmes mounts Watson's upper back, Watson grimaces)

Watson: Ah! Ah..why do you have to wear metal studs in yer boots?

Holmes: J-just..a moment more, Watson...(struggles) Good.

(Both disentangle themselves with a grunt)

Watson: If only you could carry your carpet slippers with you for occasions like this!

Holmes: Come, my friend, I daresay it's been quite long enough. I think I've gathered all that we can.

Black PeterClive Merrison and Michael Williams

Holmes: Sometimes I feel quite envious of you, Watson.

Watson: Oh, indeed? Why?

Holmes: Cause you've loved. And been loved. I shall never know that. Or sorrow.

Watson: One does tend to lead to the other.

Holmes: Yes, how strange... (Small smile) To feel so deeply, it's strange...

Watson: However, to each his own.

Holmes: Indeed.

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