Part 4 ~ And Ray is the best best friend.

Ray was fetching himself a cup of coffee when he saw Shona out of the corner of his eye; she hesitated for a brief moment when she noticed him, but then came over with a smile. Ray passed her his drink and poured another for himself.

“Good night?” he asked, and although it was nearly a week after the dancing debacle, she immediately knew what he was talking about.

“It was,” she confirmed, “we raised over a thousand pounds— A thousand dollars for charity.”

“That’s great news. Can I come along next time?” Ray asked, keeping it as casual as possible just in case he had to laugh off a direct no.

But Shona’s expression veered through surprise to delight.

“You’d be more than welcome. I’d never have thought of asking you, you always seem so preoccupied.”

“At work, sure, but I can let loose. And I can dance.”

“Scottish reels?”

“That anything like a fishing reel?” Ray asked just to make Shona laugh, and it worked. “Seriously though, I’ll get the hang of it. How’d Benny do?”

“Well. Quick learner. It suits him, it’s very structured.”

Ray thought about that and nodded as he got it.

“He can be very methodical.”

“There’s another dance in a couple of months time, I’ll remind you. Maybe if you’re there Ben won’t feel the need to talk about you all night.”

“He did?”

“Of course he did,” Shona said with a knowing smile. “Thanks for this,” she raised her coffee to him, and wandered back to where she was working.

Well, that was mildly embarrassing, Ben talking about him all night. Ray wondered if Ben was aware he was doing it, because there was nothing like a bad case of mentionitis to give the game away. And at this point there wasn’t even a game. Although Ben had played a pretty strong one, what with the bracelet Ray hadn’t taken off, the tie he wore at every opportunity, the keychain that now battled his actual car for the title of favourite possession, and the tankard— Yeah, let’s forget the tankard, he was never going to live up to that message and didn’t want to think about it.

Back at his desk and pretending to work, Ray amused himself by considering if tonight would be the ideal night to take Ben out to the middle of nowhere, pin him up against a tree, hit all the bases, and hope it was out of the Mountie’s system for once and for all.

The thought made Ray smile for all the wrong reasons. Ben would be telling him all about the variety of tree and its dependent fauna, then Diefenbaker would pee up it at a crucial point, acting as the introduction to a long and winding anecdote about wolves marking their territory, just as Ray was attempting to do the same.

No! He did not just think that. Ben was not his territory.

But at least he wasn’t panicking at these thoughts today, that was an improvement. Even if Ben walked in right this minute…

Ray looked up as Ben walked in, right that minute. Dressed in casual clothes, including the leather jacket that Ray had always thought the Mountie looked unreasonably hot in, Ben headed his way, looking delighted to see him. Ray’s heart jumped in his chest, and he tried very hard to convince himself that his reaction was about anticipation of what the day had in store now this trouble-magnet had turned up.

…

The day was warm and sunny, the view was beautiful, the company was… Lost.

“I thought you knew where we were going?”

“The description was vague, Ray, I did warn you.”

“Think Dief can track him down?”

“Highly unlikely without a scent marker.”

“If this was purely a cry for help, your pal will have cried himself out by now and be sitting down with a beer and a good book.”

“He’s hardly my pal, merely someone I met when I was fetching Martha’s groceries.”

“So, over the horse meat he told you his life story…”

“Which does tend to happen with strange regularity.”

“…and he implied this was his last day on Earth…”

“It certainly seemed so.”

“…and you didn’t think to ask for more details?”

“Intrusive and impolite. I imagine he assumed I’d taken the hint.”

“What exactly did he say?”

“That Boulder’s Reach was the end for him.”

“Let me have another look at that map.”

Ray stopped the car and spread the map out on the steering wheel, slapping Ben’s finger away as he gestured to the area they were currently searching.

“This is hopeless. If you really think this guy was coming here to check out, we’ll need more help. You’d think that a name like Boulder’s Reach would be specific. Has to be one hell of a rock to get a place named after it.”

“You’d think so. Although… It may have been multiple boulders,” Ben helpfully suggested, “I’m not clear on the punctuation.”

Ray took a moment to stare with undisguised contempt at his companion.

“He’s gasping his last and we’re hamstrung by an apostrophe?”

“Ray! There!”

Ray’s attention swung to where Ben was pointing. Some way ahead was a tiny figure, hanging in a tree – not, it had to be gratefully acknowledged, by the neck, but by a tangled climbing line caught around his leg. Tossing the map aside, Ray started up the car, and headed for the unfortunate dangler.

There was an inevitable degree of shenanigans rescuing the man – Bruce – but eventually everyone was safely back on the ground, and Ray was picking leaves out of his clothes and a bird’s nest out of his hair as Ben ascertained Bruce’s condition.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking but, what were your intentions today?” Ben asked as diplomatically as possible.

“Like I said in the store, Boulder’s Reach is the end.”

“End of what?” Ray asked, far less delicately.

“My orienteering challenge,” Bruce explained. “And thanks to you guys I’ll get it done.”

Ben didn’t dare throw so much as a glance in Ray’s direction.

“So, you being up in the tree…?”

“I was trying to take a photo for my wife. Look at the view, I mean… How can you resist?”

“You should be able to resist if there’s a chance of you garrotting yourself with your rope,” Ray pointed out. “What if we hadn’t come along?”

“Brenda will be here to pick me up soon. I’d’ve managed.”

Before Ray could answer that, Ben grabbed him and ushered him back towards the car.

“Good luck with your challenge,” Ben threw over his shoulder.

“Benny, are any of the people you meet not complete…”

Ben called for Diefenbaker, cutting off what he was suspected would be a less than complimentary descriptor from Ray.

They drove further into the nature preserve, eventually stopping at the edge of a lake, taking in what was admittedly the sort of view worth getting stuck up a tree for. On the subject of trees, Ray’s mind scooted back to earlier in the day, and his inappropriate thoughts about what he’d do to the Mountie once he had him pinned against one.

“I clearly wasn’t paying attention when he mentioned the orienteering,” Ben offered apologetically, “although I do vaguely recall wondering why he’d referenced East Asia. But I confess I was distracted: Martha’s instructions were quite specific and I had to sort through the entire tray of celery. Apparently she has to have an even amount of stalks, and in this case it turns out…”

“Benny.”

“Yes, Ray?”

“It’s fine. Look at this.”

As Diefenbaker scurried around, Ben fell silent and admired the scenery for a few minutes before noticing Ray scrutinising a nearby tree.

“That’s a very handsome oak. Look, squirrels.”

“And no doubt already enhanced by wolf urine.”

“They do tend to be territorial,” Ben explained, and Ray just bit his lip.

…

Back at Ben’s, tea and coffee in hand, they sat in quiet thought about…everything. Eventually their eyes met and each waited for the other to break the silence. Ben cleared his throat.

“Ray… I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

“Not about my feelings for you, but the way I’ve handled them, putting you under pressure and… Worst of all, not respecting how you feel. In future…” Ben braced himself. “In future there’ll be nothing more from me on the matter. You’ve been a better friend than I deserve and, of course, you’re right to put our friendship above anything else. Particularly anything that could be transitory.”

Ben was struggling with his decision, Ray could see that and he fought down his sympathy.

“You really didn’t want to say that, did you?”

“No.”

“And I don’t want to admit I’ve acted like a jerk over this, but I have to.”

“No, Ray.”

“I could have handled it better, what with the mixed signals and…”

“There were no mixed signals.”

“The stalking? Losing my head over you going dancing?”

“You were provoked,” Ben insisted.

“Most of all I’m sorry that we didn’t just talk. We should have talked, really talked, instead of me brushing you off.”

“I wasn’t going to be brushed off, so it didn’t matter.”

With a chuckle, Ray shook his head.

“We’re going to fight over refusing to let each other take any blame?”

“Apparently so,” Ben agreed with a sad smile.

Ray held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. Ben gave a nod.

“Can we both accept our failings here?” Ray asked.

“Yes.”

“That was not a convincing yes.”

“Ray, we’re both very determined people…”

“…and we both like to be right,” Ray finished for him.

They shared a smile, and Ray drank up his coffee before standing to go.

“One thing I was right about,” Ben promised. “We will always be okay.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so.”

Ray gave a nod and left.

As was his habit, Ben went to his window to watch Ray leave, but as he waited he became a little worried. Ray was taking far too long to exit the building. Immediately, disasters on stairs and armed incursions shot through Ben’s mind and he rushed back to the door, throwing it open to find Ray just standing there.

“Ray?”

Ben backed off and Ray came a few steps into the apartment, clearly deep in thought as he pushed the door shut, and shucked off his coat before throwing it over the back of a chair. Then, eyes on the floor, he wandered towards Ben.

Eventually he looked up and, with a barely there tip of his head, brought Ben closer.

“Ray?” Ben repeated, brow creasing in concern.

The absolute last thing that Ben expected: Ray’s hands came up to gently cup his face, and with no more than a split second’s pause to admire the view, he leant in and placed a tender kiss on Ben’s mouth. All very tentative, as if he was expecting Ben to come to his senses and push him away, but no. His hands gradually drifted down the Mountie’s body, stopping with a barely there touch at his waist, which is when Ben finally realised this was actually happening and leaned into the kiss, the touch; Ray reciprocated, with gentle pressure and caresses until Ben pulled away to catch his breath.

“This is… Ray…”

“You want to stop? Shall we just stop? Stop now and we can laugh about this tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to stop. But I want to know why now.”

Ray shrugged.

“I don’t know. It’s not just been you, thinking about all this, if we should try or not. It’s been driving me nuts, because we’ve already got more going on than what most people would consider normal and, you’re right, it is special. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m terrified of losing it.”

“So why now?” Ben repeated.

Ray paused in thought for a moment.

“Maybe because we just had a conversation that made it sound like we’re reasonable people, finally in control of our actions. Our emotions. Maybe because, if you stop pushing, I can stop pushing back. Maybe because I just saw how much it hurt you to let any hope go, and the last thing I want is for you to hurt.”

“Don’t let yourself be drawn into this because you feel pity for me.”

“What I feel for you is not pity, I can promise you that.”

The worry lifted from Ben’s face, and that alone told Ray he was getting this right.

“Okay…” Ray started, before a further few seconds thought. “If this doesn’t work out, we have to be determined to stay friends. Who knows, it might even give us a better understanding of each other. That wouldn’t hurt. But letting go of what we currently have would.”

“You don’t think we’d be too stubborn to let that happen? I meant what I said, I think we will always be okay, whatever the circumstances. We’ve had some rocky moments and always come through them together.”

“I know you’re right – hope you’re right, but… I’m scared.”

“I hate that.”

“Me too. But you’re so damned gung-ho about us, I feel like an idiot.”

“Can I be brave enough for the two of us?”

“Possibly. Or… We can stop right now and leave nothing to chance.”

“I don’t want to stop. I know it seemed unreasonably abrupt, but I’ve wanted you from the moment I knew I could. Nothing’s changed. Nothing’s going to change.”

“Okay, but…” That was all the encouragement Ben needed; Ray swerved the incoming kiss and nudged Ben away. “I have a condition.” He swerved another kiss and laughed. “You have to listen.”

Ben took a couple of steps back and gave a sharp nod.

“I’m listening.”

“But are you paying attention?”

Ben took a deep breath.

“I am now.”

“If we try this…”

“Which we will.”

“…there isn’t going to be anything more than kissing for at least a month. At least. From past experience I can tell you things with guys don’t last, it’s all wham bam, thank you but no thank you, move along. So we take it slow.”

“But surely we’re already past that stage.”

“Not as a—” Ray had to pause before he said the word, recognising the enormity of where they were heading, even if Ben refused to see it. “Not as a couple.”

The happiness on Ben’s face at that was almost enough to undermine Ray’s entire argument, but he stood firm.

“Whatever you think best,” Ben agreed.

“You have to trust me on this.”

“I do. But meantime…”

Ben edged forward, barely able to believe he was allowed to do what he’d been fantasising for weeks, and kissed Ray as gently as Ray had kissed him. It was perfect, it was bliss, it was something he’d needed for so long without knowing this was what he’d needed. This was the connection he’d been missing and suddenly he found himself home.

Ben moaned as Ray’s tongue slipped into his mouth, toying with him; everything Ray did was gently seductive, sensual rather than overtly sexual. Ben hadn’t imagined him like this – he’d thought a wildly passionate Italian stallion, demanding and impatient. A bit of rough? Hardly. Instead he was faced with someone who was able to make him tremble with a well-placed touch, groan with the tenderest of kisses. Ray was also very deliberately refusing to let things go any further, and Ben had never experienced anything so erotic in his life as this almost-tease.

“Ray,” he whispered, frightened to speak aloud and break the atmosphere.

“Hmm?”

“Are you certain about the month?”

Ray laughed and took a step back.

“What are we doing tonight?”

“Celebrating?”

“Could be premature.”

“No.”

“I like your confidence. So, where are we going?”

“I wouldn’t mind another trip to Boulder’s Reach.”

Ray’s mind zipped back to the oak and the implications; he instantly told himself off, instead uttering a non-committal…

“Interesting. Why there?”

“When we were standing there looking over the lake, it felt like we were the only two people on Earth. I’d enjoy more of that.”

“The offer of Canada is still on the table, although… Maybe for the minute we should avoid trees.”

…

One month on, and Ray had made plans. Ben was going along with everything. He had the air of a kid waiting for a Christmas, albeit an adult anticipating a very specific brand of celebration. So much so that Ray had all but stopped his usual random glances in Ben’s direction because the expression of sheer longing in his eyes was disconcerting at the best of times and brain-melting at the worst. No-one needed their entire thought process hi-jacked by lust at highly inopportune moments.

Ben probably had no idea he was being so indiscreet, but Ray was sure that any privacy they’d had was completely blown in the station house. Even at a distance he could hear the rustling of banknotes being exchanged as colleagues won and lost the bets they’d made when Ben had first turned up on the scene. Amazingly, and although Ray at least was trying his best to stay below everyone’s radar, no-one appeared to care less about them becoming a couple, especially those who had won handsomely. Ray wondered for how long people had just assumed they were together, but he wasn’t about to ask.

Now they were headed for what Ray hoped would be Ben’s idea of an idyllic spot. Not Boulder’s Reach but, deliberately further from home, another forest, another lake, and a solitary cabin on the edge of the water. In the brochure the spot looked like a picture postcard and he couldn’t wait to get there. So far (because he just knew) his only concern was that, although he was casually dressed, Ben had brought the Stetson. There was something extraordinary about the Stetson that reached out to people and made them spill their life stories, predominantly their woes. He’d witnessed the phenomenon time and again: that hat was a calamity magnet, drawing troubled people to it faster than a confessional the week after Christmas office parties.

Ben’s expression when they arrived at their destination was enough to have Ray slapping himself on the back. The wide eyed gaze of joyful appreciation as the Mountie took in the view was a thing of beauty, and as Ray joined Ben at the end of their dock, he was met by a hug and a dozen thanks.

“Okay, let’s be realistic,” Ray said, “what have we forgotten?”

“Nothing, this is perfect.”

“If you’re that certain, there’s sure to be something. Let’s unpack, then hope there’s a store somewhere between here and civilisation.”

A flashlight. City-boy Ray was horrified that there was no flashlight, and even Ben had to express his surprise at that due to the remote position of the cabin. There was a generator in an outhouse that supplied the light, warmth and cooking inside the cabin, but unless they had brilliantly moonlit nights, outside would be a definite no-go after dark without a flashlight, and as the recent evenings had been pleasantly balmy, they had liked the idea of starlit canoodling on the dock. But not, obviously, if one or both of them wandered straight off the edge. It was the kind of occurrence that the phrase ‘passion killer’ had been coined for.

Fortunately Ray’s planning paid off, and his detailed area map showed a store on the edge of a small cluster of dwellings about five miles away.

When the Riv drew up outside the store, America’s Most Wanted flashed through Ray’s mind. He’d seen this property’s kin on dozens of true crime shows and read its details at work on an equal number of homicide reports. Even in the bright sunshine it managed to be shadowy and exude a sinister threat.

“This is…” he started with a shudder.

“Very quaint,” Ben finished for him, still buzzing with happiness at their getaway.

“You don’t think there’s something…ominous about it?”

“No. It’s a perfect fit for the surroundings.”

“Only if it’s surrounded by serial killers.”

Ben laughed and climbed from the car, holding the door for Diefenbaker to come bounding out, then waiting patiently for Ray to emerge. After a few seconds he ducked down and looked at Ray across the car’s interior. A few seconds more to study Ray’s very honest expression and Ben sat back in the car.

“Seriously?”

“Oh, yeah. Gives me the creeps.”

“It’s merely old and worn. Very authentic.”

“It’s a death trap in more ways than one.”

“Ray… You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, and…”

“Haven’t you seen any horror movies? Look at this place, we don’t get out of here alive.”

Ben took another look at the wonky old building, finding it quite charming in its admittedly dilapidated state.

“Come on, Ray, let’s go in, it’ll only take a few seconds to get what we want.”

“Okay. Just know I love you and I’m sorry it had to end this way.”

After a long moment staring at Ray in shock, Ben shook himself out of it.

“That’s how you choose to tell me? Something so uniquely special and…”

“No, this was the comradely, about to fall in battle in horrendous circumstances, love you like a brother variety of affection.”

“Oh. Very well.”

“I’m saving the big one for later.”

That perked Ben up considerably.

“Later today, or…?”

“You just wait. We’ll see how romantic we feel with our guts spread all over the floor in there. Think you can handle a freak with an axe?”

Ben took up his Stetson from the dashboard and placed it squarely on his head. Ray groaned.

“Now I can,” Ben confirmed, leaving the car once again. Still no Ray.

“Wait here, then. I’ll go and buy a flashlight, and…”

“Not on your own you won’t. And you might want to take off that invitation to disaster.”

“What…?” Ben frowned.

Ray gestured toward the Stetson, and Ben shook his head his amusement.

“Anything more we want?”

Without waiting any longer, Ray left the car and studied the ramshackle old store before setting a foot toward it. Ben went on ahead with Diefenbaker at his heels, leaving Ray no choice but to warily follow, reaching for his gun.

“No,” Ben told him firmly without even looking back.

Ray sighed and left the gun where it was.

The door creaked open and Ray shuddered, reluctant to let Ben go first despite knowing he was protected by that stupid magic hat. The interior was both cleaner and tidier than the exterior suggested, but still had the air of a property that had seen too much in its life and was resignedly waiting for the bulldozer.

“Hello?” Ben called. No response.

“This is how it always starts,” Ray hissed from close behind him. “And I’m beginning to think twice about that lake.”

Diefenbaker had already investigated the entire premises and came back with what was as close to a wolf shrugging as possible to imagine. As he disappeared out the half-open front door, Ray swiftly found a couple of flashlights and batteries. Ben wandered, clearly troubled.

“I’ll drop some cash on the counter and we can go,” Ray told him.

“Can you hear something?”

“Nothing other than Chicago calling us home. This was such a dumb idea. How do we relax around here? Romance is dead, rapidly followed by the pair of us.”

“It was… Crying but not crying. Almost a wail.”

“Nope, gone deaf in my old age, can’t hear a thing.”

“I’m going to take a quick look.”

Ray hurriedly put the flashlights and batteries back on the shelf.

“Benny, no,” Ray ordered, hand back on his gun. “I’ll look.”

“There’s someone back there in despair, I doubt they need a gun pointed at them.”

“Maybe they regret their previous murders. Stand back.”

With a roll of the eyes, Ben stepped aside so Ray could go through into the private area at the rear of the store. If Diefenbaker had found nothing, how dangerous could it be?

“Benny.”

Ben found Ray staring at scratch marks on the floor; they looked as if they’d been made recently, and gave the impression of someone clinging on for their life as they were hauled out of the building. Ray stared an ‘I told you so’ at Ben.

“Oh dear.”

With an ungodly screech the rear door opened ominously slowly; Ray raised his gun.

“Those damn hinges,” came a distinctly unterrifying voice. “I never remember the oil.”

A homely lady of a certain age wandered into the room. She took a look at the gun and gave them an untroubled smile.

“Now then, young man, we don’t need that kind of show in here.”

Disarmed in more ways than one, Ray lowered his weapon.

“Are you in any distress?” Ben asked politely.

“Why would you think that?”

“I heard a noise, like someone was in pain.”

The woman looked perplexed for a moment then went back outside and swung the screen door. It vociferously lamented its existence.

“Hinges. Both doors. Never remember to see to them until I walk out here, then I forget by the time I get back in.”

“And this crime scene?” Ray asked as he pointed to the unsettling state of the floor.

“I had to drag the racoons out again. They’re eating me out of house, home and business.” She rubbed her foot over the claw marks on the floor. “Look at the mess they make when I have to broom them out.”

Despite Ray being ready to launch into an interrogation, because… Racoons? Really? Ben was already stepping up with a charming smile that the situation did not, in Ray’s opinion, deserve.

“Can I help in any way?” Ben asked.

The woman hesitated.

“No, you’re on vacation, I couldn’t ask…”

“You didn’t. I offered.”

“I’d feel bad.”

“There’s no need.” Ben watched the woman wavering before suggesting, “I could at least oil the hinges.”

“Well… That’d be very kind of you.”

She pointed Ben in the direction of a storeroom where he found oil, a dustpan and broom, a window squeegee and a screwdriver; exactly as Ray had feared, his annoyingly obliging Mountie proceeded to perform basic maintenance around the place.

“I’m Lonnie,” the woman introduced herself to Ray.

“Ray,” Ray grudgingly offered, before indicating Ben. “Ben.”

“I’ll put some coffee on. Things have been tough since my husband died and the least I can do is make you both a cup of coffee for your help and kindness.”

Inwardly chastising himself for being neither helpful nor kind, Ray promised himself this was the last time on this vacation he would point a gun in anyone’s face simply because he was constantly primed to expect the worst.

“What did you come in for?” Lonnie asked.

“Flashlights. We’re staying down by the lake.”

“I should’ve guessed. Visitors to that place always come in for flashlights. I hear there’s a ghost in that place that always throws flashlights into the lake.” Ray was still processing that when Lonnie cheerfully added, “Well, how about I make a gift of a couple of flashlights? As a thank you.”

“No, I’m paying,” Ray insisted, belatedly finding his particular brand of kindness. “This place needs all the help it can get.”

Not even attempting to deny that one, Lonnie chuckled and passed Ray a coffee. They pulled out a couple of camping chairs and watched as Ben cheerfully made his way around the store, fixing and cleaning.

“He’s very helpful,” Lonnie observed after Ben had turned down offers of assistance for the fifth time. “Is he always this helpful?”

Ray gave a rueful nod.

“It’s the hat.”

“I like the hat.”

Lonnie launched into an insightful, yet highly tuneless version of Land of the Silver Birch and, once again, Ray couldn’t wait to get out of there.

…

 “How do you not see how bizarre that whole encounter was? The marks on the floor? That was not racoon raids.”

“If you’re that concerned, we could always…”

“NO! And now we have the issue of our cabin being haunted!”

“Surely you don’t believe that?”

“What? Flashlights just randomly fly into the lake by themselves?”

“It’ll be a local myth to keep people interested. It’s more likely to be tourists taking their new flashlights home with them, or the cabin’s owner removing and reselling them to make a profit. Maybe even back to Lonnie. She may have sold the same lights a dozen times by now.”

“If I’d’ve said that, you would have questioned my faith in humanity.”

“She’s struggling to make a living. Within reason, I don’t begrudge her taking certain opportunities that come her way.”

“Okay, this is better. Please beat me about the head with your logic.”

“Not sure I can offer that level of intellectual brutality.” Ray gave a genuine laugh at that. “Can I at least attempt to reassure you?” Ben asked kindly.

“You can try.”

“It was only bizarre in your head, Ray. Regarding that, I have a theory.”

“Oh, I can’t wait.”

“You have such a high expectation of things going wrong, or perhaps strangely, in our vicinity that you’re almost hyper-sensitive to any perceived anomalies.”

“This was not my life before you. I’m still adapting.”

“I will admit that I may have brought some interesting incidents to your attention.”

“Say that without smirking and I might forgive you.”

“You make me smile.”

Ray’s riposte withered into nothing at that statement. If he had a choice between snarking and appreciating Ben’s appreciation? Well, today, there was no competition.

“And you make me very happy.”

Ben waited.

“There isn’t an although? Or a but?”

“Nah.”

“That’s…a relief.” Ray grinned at that, and Ben studied him in admiration. “This has been an interesting journey.”

“Certainly has.”

Ray eased his foot off the accelerator for a few seconds just so they could exchange the kind of affectionate look the conversation deserved.

“Will this be our anniversary?” Ben asked.

“You choose. I mean, there’s always the day when you first figured out how you felt, I guess that was really the start.”

“A start not the start. Besides, I’m not about to pick a time when you were kissing another man.”

Ray shuddered and put his foot down as if he could accelerate away from the memory.

“Yeah, no more of that. Next time Welsh can seduce his own criminals.”

“There’s always a month ago. That first kiss. That was…”

Ben went quiet as he savoured the memory.

“What? Was what?”

“Very smooth.”

“You saying I no longer qualify as a bit of rough? Where’s the fun in that?”

“That kiss was life changing, there was nothing unsophisticated about it.”

“Life changing?”

“I can’t go back. If you’re going to tell me this past month has left you wanting to settle for just being friends… Well, in all truthfulness, I don’t know what happens next.”

“You promised me you’d be able to deal with it.”

Ben turned sharply to Ray.

“You’re not going to—”

“No, I’m not. But I took you at your word and you need to remember that.”

Ben was subdued and deep in thought until they reached the cabin. They remained in the car and Ray waited semi-patiently for Ben to think things through.

“C’mon, Benny, let’s hear it.”

There was still a moment’s hesitation before Ben felt able to share what he’d been mentally dissecting.

“I never considered that this…” he gestured between the two of them, “…would fail. It hadn’t occurred to me for a moment. And yet, you…” Ben sighed, and braced himself. “You think this isn’t working.”

“Hey, I never said that. Me taking you at your word is reassuring to me because of what I’m scared of losing. I couldn’t have been more honest about it.”

“But, still…”

“No, there is no ‘but still’. What if it turns out you’re straighter than you thought, you get to experience the worst sex of your life, and by the time we get home you can’t wait to get away from me?”

“Have you been worried about that all the time we’ve been together?”

“Not all the time.”

“But some of the time.”

“Yeah, sure, I’m a realist.”

“I’d never hurt you like that.”

“And I’d never want you to stay in a relationship that wasn’t right for you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“But what about…”

“Ray… We kiss for five minutes and get so aroused we have to move to opposite sides of the room because you made the one month rule and we’re fighting to keep our hands off one another. That doesn’t sound like something that’s bound to fail because of a lack of attraction.”

“I know, I know.”

“This is the final death throes of your fear that we’re making a terrible mistake and will be left with nothing: no partner, no friend.”

“Like I said, I’ve been honest with you all along about that.”

“You have. And now you’ve spelt this out I know what to do next.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I just need to convince you that I’m not straighter than I – you – thought, this will not be the worst sex of our lives, and it would take a lot more than that to make me want to get away from you. Sounds entirely doable. I repeat, I’m not going anywhere.”

Ben left the car without another word. Technically that counted as him going somewhere but Ray decided not to quibble on this occasion. Rather than immediately heading into the cabin, Ben began to wander along the edge of the lake, watching as Diefenbaker jubilantly sprang in and out of the water.

It took a few minutes for Ray to catch up, but as he did he grabbed Ben’s hand and held on. After his initial surprise Ben squeezed back, and they strolled in silence for a while. Eventually a bench presented itself; they sat close, still holding hands.

“Can I tell you something?” Ray asked.

“Of course.”

“Something… Something that you might not think of when you think of me.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”

Ray held up their joined hands.

“This is pretty much my end game. All I’ve ever wanted is this kind of togetherness. The romantic Italian cliché, that’s me. I think I’ve been clinging to our friendship because as close as we’ve been, that togetherness is about the best I’ve ever had.”

Ben thought for a moment, then removed his hand from Ray’s, feeling the start of alarm but reassuring his partner by putting his arm around his shoulders and drawing him as close as possible.

“Can I tell you something now?” Ben asked, and Ray nodded, now quiet and calm as he luxuriated in the Mountie’s warmth and affection. “You were shocked when I suddenly came out with how I felt. To be honest, so was I, for…seconds, at least.” Ray chuckled at that and Ben pressed a kiss to his temple. “But when I started to think about it, analyse why it had been so simple to jump into wanting you… I realised that I’ve loved you for quite a while, Ray. It was no effort at all to be in love with you.”

“Know what?” Ray smiled. “That’s pretty much the exact conversation I had with myself over us. I love you right back, Benny.”

“Thank you.”

Ray stood up and pulled Ben to his feet.

“And now I think it’s time to upend that Canadian politeness with the good time we’re here for.”

…

Once inside the cabin they locked the door behind them and took a few minutes to allow Diefenbaker to choose a place to settle, hoping that he’d ignore whatever they chose to get up to rather than offer a running commentary.

That done, Ray and Ben turned to one another with expectant expressions.

“So, this good time you mentioned…?” Ben asked with a knowing smile.

“Yeah,” Ray nodded, “I thought we could start with the Scottish Country Dancing, and—”

Ray was just about swept off his feet by Ben taking his hands and twirling him around a couple of times until he ended up face to face, secure in Ben’s arms. And there it was, the change that Ben had come to love: when Ray was this close, was this focused on him, the bolshie cop attitude fell away completely and all that was left was, yes, the romantic Italian cliché. The expression softened, and the affection in those beautiful eyes was knee-weakening. Ben wondered how Ray could ever have imagined this could fail.

“I want you, Ray. So, so much.”

“Well, you have me. We do as much or as little as you want, okay? No pressure, no expectations…”

Ben silenced Ray with a kiss, knowing there was no need for him to finish what he was saying, just appreciate an effortless slide into kisses and caresses and, this time, at last, they didn’t have to let one another go until they were good and ready to.

…

It was several hours later when they woke from a well-earned doze to the sound of the front door opening and closing. Ray was instantly alert, registering the darkness and snapping on the bedside lamp, sitting up and pulling on his pants and shirt.

“Leave it, Ray, it’s only Diefenbaker.”

“Since when did Dief have opposable thumbs?”

“Sorry?” Ben frowned, still trying to wake up.

“That catch on the door. Wolf-proof.”

Ben was suddenly up to speed.

“And we locked it.”

“We did.”

Ray rushed from the bedroom and, after collecting his gun on the way, tried the front door. Locked. He turned back with a frown as Ben joined him, gesturing for him to try the door handle. He did.

“Locked,” Ben stated the obvious.

Diefenbaker joined them, hackles up and giving a low growl. Ray and Ben exchanged a wary look.

“Shall we just let him at it?” Ray asked.

With a sharp nod, Ben turned the key and opened the door, letting Diefenbaker hurtle outside.

“Let’s go.”

They turned to where they’d left the new flashlights sitting on the hall stand. No flashlights.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ray muttered after a second or so to take that in.

“So, someone broke in to take the flashlights…”

“Then magically re-locked the door from the inside? ‘Cause the key’s here in the lock, and even if there was another key…”

“…locking this door from the outside would have pushed this key from the lock onto the floor.”

It may have begun as ominous, now it was just becoming infuriating.

“No, no, no,” Ray said crossly. “This is not happening.”

The porch light, which had so far been off, suddenly blinked into life and flickered.

“Did you hit the switch?” Ben asked.

“Nope.”

At the sound of Diefenbaker scrabbling back up the wooden steps onto the porch they looked around. The wolf was dripping wet, and in his jaws? Yep, flashlight.

“Oh dear,” said Ben without a hint of irony.

To both of their surprise, Ray started to laugh.

“It’s you, Benny. I swear if I was here without you, that wouldn’t have happened.”

“You’re right. It’s highly unlikely you’d have taken Diefenbaker on a vacation without me.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant.”

Ben took the soaking flashlight from Diefenbaker and shook it, water droplets flying everywhere. He then raked his fingers through the wolf’s fur, bringing his wet hand to his face and sniffing. As he opened his mouth…

“Lick that and we’re done. I mean it. No more kisses this weekend.”

“Aren’t you curious?”

“Not enough to risk either of us heaving our guts up for days. That lake is hypothetically full of disintegrating batteries, and now lightly seasoned with wolf.”

“Understood.”

Ray knelt to Diefenbaker’s level.

“Okay, Scooby, what else do you have for us?”

“Don’t encourage him,” Ben warned. “He’ll…”

Too late, Diefenbaker was off again at speed.

“…feel the need to find the other flashlight,” Ben finished flatly.

“Shall we do that when we retire?” Ray asked, following his own train of thought as he rose and slipped an arm around Ben.

“Do what precisely?”

“Buy a van and travel around solving mysteries? The past couple of years has given us unique experience in dealing with the weird and wonderful.” The porch light flickered again. “There you go.”

“The bulb is probably faulty. Or possibly there’s an issue with the generator.”

Ray was already busy imagining his dream, or possibly nightmare, future.

“We could have our own Mystery Machine, with a logo that’s a Stetson, a wolf, and a toilet pan to represent what happened to my common sense.”

“Everything will have a logical explanation,” Ben insisted, “even if we can’t fathom it.”

“Of course it will,” Ray agreed with blatantly fake sincerity.

“Ray…”

“I’m going to cook us something. There’s a shower out back. When Dief gets here, prize the bicycle frames and bedsteads off him, and wash the noxious haunted lake out of his fur before he comes back in here.”

Both amused and bemused, Ben stepped outside to find Diefenbaker while Ray went to decide what to cook. After a few seconds rummaging through their provisions in the fridge it suddenly struck Ray that he’d made a fatal, rookie error. He’d allowed them to split up.

Shouting Ben’s name at the top of his voice, he once again grabbed his gun and pelted out of the front door. Two steps off the porch he just managed to stop himself colliding with Ben. With a look of concern, Ben took Ray by the shoulders and checked him over.

“What happened?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, what happened?”

“Nothing of note. Not even the second flashlight.”

“I thought—”

“More horror movie nonsense?”

“Now you’re getting it.”

Ben rapidly lost interest in their current mystery, admiring Ray and turning his hold into something much softer.

“You know, despite appearing scared for your life, you look very handsome in the moonlight.”

“I do?”

“Yes, very.”

Ben leaned in for a kiss, and Ray decided this was much nicer than worrying about anything going bang in the night that wasn’t them. His eyes closed just in time for him to miss the misty white shape that drifted past them and into the lake, somehow managing to clutch the flashlight from the cabin in its insubstantial hands, and being trailed by an overinvested wolf.

…

 “Was it odd?” Ray asked as they drove home. “Being with a man?”

“I wasn’t with a man, Ray, I was with you.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“I mean…”

“Yeah, I’m only kidding, I know exactly what you mean.”

“Was it ever odd for you?”

“No. But I knew early on, I never thought I was entirely straight.”

“And I suppose I just never thought.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. I’m the one who overthinks everything. And on that subject… Any regrets?”

“Not one.”

“Because we did agree…”

“No. This was the best weekend of my life. Argue with that.”

For once, there was no debate, just a satisfied smile. Ben turned in his seat enough to watch Ray for long moment.

“How about you? Do you have any regrets?” he asked, albeit semi-reluctantly.

“Are you kidding?”

“Never about this.”

“Then categorically no. Not about us. Maybe about the choice of location we are, I am extremely happy to say, rapidly leaving behind.”

“I’m grateful you changed your mind.”

“My God, Benny, I was so sick of putting you off. Worse thing? In my heart of hearts I never wanted to put you off. Look at you, I’m not an idiot.”

Ben laughed at that, happy to take the compliment on this occasion.

“I think the only thing I regret,” Ben confessed, “is that you’ll never go back to what is a very special place for us. Despite all its oddities, it was where we consummated our relationship.”

“If it means that much, maybe we will go back.”

Ben immediately perked up.

“Really?”

“Sure. But next time we take industrial spotlights and an exorcist.”

…

Ray emerged from Welsh’s office to find Ben and Shona in conversation. Now it made him happy. Without trying, he and Benny had couple friends. Always good for a couple to have couple friends. He still got a little frisson of excitement every time he thought of himself and the Mountie as a couple. Over the last few weeks, life had unexpectedly become very sweet.

“Hey, Shona.”

“Hi, Ray, I was just telling Ben…” She handed over a flyer, tartan-edged and advertising the next fund-raising ceilidh. “Fancy putting your money where your mouth is?”

Ray pointed at the flyer.

“How do I say this so I don’t embarrass myself?”

“Kay-lee.”

“Okay, I’m in.”

“Colin’s going to be there this time. He’s the caller.”

“Is he patient with beginners?”

“Very.”

“That’s lucky.”

“I can give you a few private lessons,” Ben volunteered, and Ray couldn’t even look at him without giving everything away. Although Shona had figured it out, Ray knew. And Shona was cool.

“So, how was your weekend? A lakeside retreat, wasn’t it? Any fishing?”

“Dief caught a few flashlights,” Ray volunteered.

And so it came pouring out: the creepy store, and the creepy cabin, and the creepy lake, and, finally, the actual, very creepy ghost.

“Sounds fascinating.”

“It was weird,” Ray explained. “Edited highlights? Local store with claw marks in the floor, cabin with lights that flicker every time the ghost turns up…”

“There’s a ghost?”

“Yup. Makes a habit of throwing all the flashlights into the lake. Dief had to keep fishing them out again.”

“It was exhilarating,” Ben felt the need to step in and sing the area’s praises. “Exceptionally beautiful, tranquil and remote, evocative sunsets…”

“Okay, all that, but still weird,” Ray interjected.

“Maybe I shouldn’t mention it but, it seems to be an accepted fact here that weird follows the two of you around. Perhaps you took it with you?” Shona suggested.

“As long as we didn’t bring it back home with us.”

“I’d love to visit that place. Colin is fascinated by TV shows about the supernatural, I’ll have to tell him.”

“Warn him,” Ray corrected.

“Will do. Law enforcement travel guide says… Great and awful?”

“Yes,” Ben agreed cheerfully, as Ray agreed with sombre foreboding.

“Well,” Shona threw over her shoulder as she strolled back to where she was working, “as we say back home, you have to take the rough with the smooth.”

There was a loaded pause before Ray and Ben exchanged an equally loaded look.

“Isn’t that where we began?” Ray asked. “Y’know, if I was going to get a tattoo…”

“Hey, Vecchio,” came a voice along the office. “Case here that has your name written all over it.”

Ray collected the file and flicked through it, Ben reading alongside him.

“So, essentially…” Ben began.

“Dief’s going to take this one personally.”

“…there’s nothing other than circumstantial evidence and conjecture to indicate that this vendor’s comestibles are the missing family pets.”

“But we know better, don’t we? I see that look in your eye: if this has pinged your radar it’s going to be Lassie-burgers all the way.”

“Now, Ray, that’s…”

“Benny?” Ray said pointedly.

Ben took a breath to object, but with an unexpected burst of insight, didn’t. He gestured toward the exit.

“Shall we?”

As one they headed for the door.

“I might go home first, change into a more resilient suit. No way I’ll get through this without being covered in minced Fido.”

“In that case, you’d better give me your tie.”

Once in the car Ray did just that, as it struck him that the gesture from Ben was possibly one of the most couple-centric things he’d ever experienced. He watched Ben carefully fold and tuck the tie away in one of his many pockets, enjoying the satisfaction on his face as he did so.

“See, Benny, that is you being very, very smooth.”

“Really?”

“For someone who professes to be a novice at this relationship stuff, that was pretty much an old married couple move.”

Ben gave a chuckle at that description, but it didn’t make him feel any less smug about the compliment.

“That’s… Thank you kindly, Ray.”

“Okay, let’s get on with this. I doubt you’ll be thanking me kindly later when you’re picking dog tags out of your teeth after a suspect taco.”

Ray started the car and pulled out into traffic. He threw at glance at Ben, who seemed too deep in thought for it to be healthy.

“You okay?”

Ben took a few seconds to come out of his head and back into the moment.

“Ray. Can I just… Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Everything. Saying yes. The weekend. Loving me back.” A thought popped into his head, making him smile. “Taking the rough with the smooth.”

“Tattoo parlour, just around the corner here.”

“Thank you for everything. Everything.”

Ray threw a loved-up smile in Ben’s direction.

“Well, Benny… Buckle up and hold onto your hat. I promise you, there’s a lot more of everything to come.”

The Rough with the Smooth Index       Notes

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