The Beach Triad

To The Beach...

"Are we there yet?" came a muffled voice from the back seat.

"Not yet, almost. It wouldn't seem so long if you didn't keep asking."

"But it's about a hundred and fifty bleeding degrees back here!"

"Look, I'm sorry about the air conditioning, but they can't take the car at the shop until Tuesday."

"This damned picnic blanket is too heavy!"

"It's thoroughly sun-proof, and you know full well that when you helped me pick it out you promised there wouldn't be any complaints. 'You're going to say it's too hot,' I told you. 'But with your moth-eaten blanket I started to toast last time,' you told me. 'This has a rubber backing and I will stay completely sun-free and that's worth it,' you told me."

"But that was in the middle of the winter! I didn't know you'd be driving me around in the middle of August, with no air conditioning, in the heat of the day! I feel like I'm the damned sweaty construction worker."

"Well you should have anticipated the possibilities."

"I don't see why we had to leave so early anyway! Why couldn't we just have waited until dark?"

"For the fortieth time, it takes so long to get there that the shops would be closed. This is a beautiful place with great shops. You told me you really wanted to try the ice cream, don't you remember?"

"Stupid idea. Should have gone to the beach nearby. Can go there when it's dark and don't have to suffocate."

"But just think of it... you'll be so hot by the time we get to the ice cream shop, and the ice cream will seem so cool, and sweet, sliding over your tongue and down your throat..."

"Guh..."

"You'll savor the taste of the fresh peaches they use, licking slowly up from the bottom of the scoop to the tip, over and over..."

"Guh..."

"And after we finish our ice cream we'll go for a swim, and let the warm water wash the stickiness off, let the warm water caress our bodies, rolling with the waves..."

"Guh..."

"And by the time we get out of the water, everybody else will be gone, and it will be quiet, and dark, and we'll stretch out on that blanket of yours, and it won't be too sandy because the sand can't get through the backing, and --"

"Are we there yet?"

"Soon, Spike."

"Drive faster, Xander."

In The Sea...

"So wasn't I right about the ice cream?" came a voice pitched just high enough to be heard over the waves.

"You were right, pet. Very sweet and creamy."

"And about this water? Isn't it warm?"

"Very warm."

"And about the Speedo?"

"I would have looked fantastic in the Speedo."

"But that's the point — you look plenty fantastic in these very hip longer trunks. I don't think this town can handle you looking any more fantastic — I thought those women coming into the ice cream shop were going to start a riot trying to get a better look at you!"

"They weren't just looking at me, you know."

"Well..."

"You know they were checking you out too, looking at that broad chest, the strong arms — the ladies love that, you know."

"Well, it's still because of you."

"No. If I weren't here, they would still be looking."

"Well... it's still because I'm with you. Being with you, well, somehow it makes me feel more... I don't know. You make me feel worth looking at."

"You're worth more than looking at, pet — but those bints, they're going to have to content themselves with looking, while I..."

"Ahhh... what are you doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?"

"Um... more than looking?"

"You were right about the water, pet... feel the heat of it, feel how sleekly it lets me glide across your skin?"

"Guh..."

"And makes all your parts nicely buoyant and accessible now that I've gotten these damned high-fashion trunks out of the way..."

"Guh..."

"And it's warm enough that look, you can, ah, rise up to meet me..."

"Guh..."

"...when I stroke you like this..."

"Guh..."

"And the water isn't so rough that I can't slide my chest up here along yours like this..."

"Guh..."

"And look, the nice warm wavy water has you relaxed enough that I can just slip this finger right in here..."

"Unnhhh..."

"And the lovely water lets even a deadweight like me float up for better access to give a nice little nip here along the collarbone..."

"Guh..."

"Then sink back down to business on the lower decks..."

"Guh..."

"Are we there yet?"

"Soon, Spike..."

"Come for me, Xander."

On The Sand...

"So wasn't I right about this blanket?" came a voice rising from said blanket.

"Well, you're right about the sand not coming through, but I still say the thing is too damned hot."

"But the night is cooling down, hot is good."

"Alright, alright!"

"So it's been worth it all, hasn't it?"

"I have to admit, this is pretty alright for a beach."

"I've always loved it here, ever since Jesse brought me with him on a family vacation for a week when we were in middle school. I've tried to come back every year, at least for the day — couldn't really afford to spend the night most times. But it's always been special."

"Thank you then, for sharing it with me."

"Even with the whole blanket thing?"

"I'm still a bit disgruntled."

"Well then, do I need to make it up to you somehow? The ice cream and the water weren't enough?"

"Seems to me as I already paid you back for those. And besides, this blanket really isn't wide enough — you should have gotten a bigger one."

"Hmm, well maybe we need to get a little bit closer here..."

"What are you doing?"

"Don't mind me, just conserving space — see, if I straddle you like this, no part of me is even near the sand!"

"Someone is going to see us."

"Isn't that normally my line? Besides, we've got this lovely little nook behind these rocks, and it's dark — I wouldn't worry about it."

"I wasn't worried."

"Mmm... your neck is salty from the sea..."

"Guh..."

"I wonder if you are salty everywhere or whether you rubbed some of it off with the towel... I better check, wouldn't want you to get itchy with salt..."

"Guh..."

"Hmm, your nipples were salty..."

"Guh..."

"Salty ribs — just need some barbecue sauce..."

"Hey!"

"Don't interrupt, I have to clean your navel."

"Guh..."

"Oops, forgot your arms!"

"Get back down there!"

"Don't bother me, I have work to do!"

"You're torturing me!"

"No, I'm helping you. Now shut up and let me finish this little spot inside your elbow..."