SECRETS AND REVELATIONS
by Edibbea
Notes

Xander woke slowly. He felt - good. Better than good, in fact - he felt great. He gradually became aware of a deep ache low in his body, and another ache in his neck. And there were arms wrapped around him. Someone was lying behind him... And suddenly his head was full of images: on his knees, swallowing Spike's cock; on his back, Spike sucking him; ropes and a cockring; lube and stretching and burning; Spike fucking him... Spike's cock slamming into him and Spike's fangs sinking into his neck, and the incredible sucking sensation that pushed him over the edge into the most intense orgasm he'd ever experienced in his entire life. Xander gasped as the images hit him with a physical force. He felt shattered into tiny bits. Pieces of him were going into total denial; other pieces were wondering what the fuck he'd done, and the rest just wanted to do it again and again and... He felt the arms around him tighten, and he could feel Spike's lips moving against his neck as he said, "Awake are we, pet?"

"Spike, I..." Xander was lost for words. He felt panic sweep over him. His heart was pounding; he had to get out, now. Get away from... everything. He was losing his mind. He had to think. He began to struggle, but Spike held him firmly, and he couldn't move an inch.

"Spike, let me go. I have to go."

"No, pet, you don't. Just lie quietly and calm down. Panic is rolling off you in waves, Xan. It's so strong I can taste it. If you leave now, you'll do something stupid. So I'm not letting you go." Spike had that tone to his voice again, and somehow the actual words didn't really matter. Spike asserted his authority, and Xander found himself lying still in acquiescence.

"How do you do that, Spike? How do you do that, that... voice thingy? It makes me just... I can't think when you use it, and..." Xander gave up in exasperation at having degenerated into Xander-babble. Spike's lips were still on Xander's neck, and he felt them curve into a smile.

"That's the voice of a Master Vampire, pet. We use it to train fledges. We use it to control our court, and sometimes we use it to seduce humans that we want."

"And you used it with me, because..." Xander's voice faltered. He felt Spike's lips on his ear. The Master Vampire spoke softly, in a voice with steel behind it. "I used it on you because I wanted you, Xander. I wanted you, and I took you, and now you're mine." And the voice brooked no argument. As it was stated, so it was. And even as his panic screamed at him in the recesses of his mind, Xander heard himself groan, felt himself push back against Spike, felt his cock begin to harden. Felt the hard cock against his ass, and wanted... just wanted.

Spike felt the panic recede, to be replaced by a rush of arousal. He began to tease Xander's nipples with one hand, and slipped the other down to his cock. "Fuck, Spike. How do you make me feel like this?" asked Xander. Spike flipped Xander over so they were facing each other and pulled him close, their cocks sliding together sensuously. Xander closed his eyes and swallowed hard at the rush of lust and other feelings that flooded over him. "Look at me, pet," said Spike. Xander opened his eyes again, and found himself falling into crystal blue depths. "You've wanted me for a long time, and you've wanted this for even longer, haven't you? And you know why I can make you feel this way." And yes, he knew. "Tell me," said Spike. "I..." Xander's voice cracked. He swallowed again. Their locked gaze never faltered. He took a deep breath and tried again. "I've wanted you, wanted this for a very long time. And I know why you can make me feel this way. It's because I... I lo- care for you." The last three words were whispered on an exhalation, and there was that almost-word from Xander again. Spike's eyes kept him pinned in place. "And?" he prompted. "And..." Xander suddenly smiled. "And you care for me, don't you? In a dominant-y Master Vampire-y kinda way."

"Now you're getting it," said Spike. "Make no mistake, you're mine. And I care about and protect what's mine. And I don't let it go, Xan, not ever." Spike crushed his boy to him in a bruising kiss as his hands roaming the muscled body, stroking here, pinching there, and Xander swore he could feel his brain oozing out of his ears. "You don't need to go anywhere. You belong with me. Gonna fuck you again, Xan. Gonna bury my cock in your arse and feel you clench around me and writhe under me. That's where you belong, Xander. Under me as I fuck you, or on your knees as you suck me. I can make it hurt so good, pet. I can give you everything you need. And I want to give you everything you need."

And what do you do when you get an offer like that? You take it. You grab it with both hands and you hang on tight. Except...

"What about Buffy, Spike? And Wills, and Giles and - what about the rest of my life?"

Spike sighed, and rolled onto his back, leaving Xander feeling bereft. He snuggled closer, and the vampire wrapped an arm around him.

"Yeah, Slayer could be a bit of a problem. Obviously you can keep your friends, pet, but the rest of your life belongs to me. And the first thing we're gonna do is move out of this shit-hole of a basement. We'll worry about the Slayer and the rest of her minions later." Xander was stunned. "Move out? Well - actually I'd love to, but the green folding stuff is in short supply, Spike. How do I pay for this up and moving-ey type activity?"

"You don't. I do. I told you, I take care of what's mine. And I already have a place. It's all sorted. We'll be in there tonight."

"Er, I really don't want to move into a crypt, Spike..."

Spike snorted. "Don't be bloody stupid, pet. You don't live as long as I have without accumulating a few quid, and acquiring a few things here and there. Just 'cos you lot don't know about it, doesn't mean it isn't there, you know."

"But what about Buffy paying you for information?"

"Think I'd give it away for free? Anyway, doesn't pay to let your enemies know how strong you are. And I'm sure as hell not telling the Slayer that I've got more dosh than she'll ever see in her lifetime!"

Common sense suddenly reasserted itself, and Xander blurted out, "But how do I explain to them that I'm moving, and I'm taking you with me, and you're not tied to a chair any more?"

"Let's take things one at a time, eh, pet? We'll get some of your stuff packed up; all you need is a few personal things, I've taken care of everything else. If it looks like you're still living here, that's not a bad thing for now. Oh, and you can quit that crappy job today as well. Just let the others believe you were fired again. You were only on morning shift today, yes?"

Xander was stunned. Spike seemed to know every facet of his life. "Um, yeah but, quit? I..." He was silenced with a kiss. "Xander, don't argue with me. Go to your job. Quit. Go to the Scooby meeting; tell them everything is fine. Come back here, pack, and when it's dark we'll go. Got that?"

Xander nodded, feeling very confused. Spike wrapped his arms around him tightly, and kissed him gently. "I know you're feeling confused, pet. And once we're settling in tonight, we will be having a long talk about how things are going to be. But for now stop worrying, OK? Go and have a shower. You've got things to do and I need to catch up on my sleep. I'll see you tonight, pet." And with that, Spike rolled over, closed his eyes, and appeared to fall asleep instantly. Xander sighed and got out of bed. He had no idea why he was letting Spike tell him what to do - but he had no intention of doing anything but what he'd been told.

Spike lay quietly, listening to his human getting ready for the day. He was fairly certain that Xander would do as he had said, and Spike was feeling the quiet triumph of someone whose plans had finally come to fruition. He was determined to get Xander away from this basement. Dealing with the Slayer was something he had already given considerable thought to, but there was no need for Xander to know about that just yet.

*****

Nightfall found them walking into an apartment building in the older part of Sunnydale. At the end of the corridor was a door marked 'Utility'. Spike walked towards it and got out a keyring. Xander followed, carrying the few bags that held the things he couldn't bear to leave behind.

"We're gonna be living in a utility room?" asked Xander, thinking he'd be better off in his basement. Except he wouldn't have Spike there, and the thought of being parted from the vampire made him feel cold all over.

"Idiot," muttered Spike, as he opened the door. It was, indeed, a utility room. But Spike walked to the back shelf and motioned to Xander. "See this?" he said, pointing to what looked like a light switch. It slid out of the way as he pushed down on it, and there was a keyhole behind it. Spike used his key, and the back section of the wall swung open. "This is the front door. Come on, pet. Follow me."

Xander could see nothing. The bare bulb in the utility closet provided very little light, and he blindly followed Spike. Suddenly light flooded the room they had walked into. Xander gasped. It was an apartment. They were standing in a hallway, leading to a large living area. "I'll give you the guided tour, pet," said Spike. Xander was speechless as Spike led him from one beautifully furnished room to another. There were 2 bedrooms. One was a double, and one was - well absolutely humungous, with an ensuite bathroom that included an enormous spa tub. Spike told Xander to leave his bags in that one, and continued the tour. He showed him the study, another bathroom, the kitchen, a dining room and the enormous lounge room. There was one more door, but Spike walked past it and said nothing. Xander made a mental note to ask him about it later. There were no windows anywhere, but there was an abundance of lighting. Spike demonstrated, with the aid of a bank of switches on the wall, how to adjust the lighting to get anything from a full daylight effect to a subtle soft glow, 'romantic,' thought Xander, and giggled to himself.

They finished up back in the kitchen. "So, what d'ya think of the place, pet?"

"It's unbelievable! Not at all what I expected."

Spike chuckled. "What did you expect?"

"I... I'm not sure, but it sure as hell wasn't something as great as this place." Xander stopped as a thought struck him. "You have got cable, haven't you, Spike?"

"Yeah, I've got cable. You won't miss yer shows, Xan."

"If this is yours, Spike, why weren't you living here? I mean this place is great!"

"I had other uses for it, pet. But it's home now. Anyway, eat, then we'll get you settled."

Spike had taken a pizza out of the freezer and microwaved it. While it was heating he got out a couple of cold beers. They shared the pizza, and then sat drinking their beers in companionable silence. As Xander sat there, he found himself contemplating the events of the past few days with something akin to shellshock. It had all happened so fast... Spike's voice broke into his thoughts. "I can hear the wheels turning, pet. What's on your mind?" Xander found himself blushing. How the hell did Spike *do* that. "Um, I was just thinking, y'know, how fast this has all happened." He looked surprised when Spike burst out laughing. "Fast? I've been planning this since Angelus gave you to me at the High School!"

Xander was stunned. "You've wanted me that long? That was before you were chipped, Spike." Xander was silent for a moment, thinking. " Were you planning on turning me?" he asked, not sure he was going to like the answer.

Spike looked at him carefully. "At first, yes. But once I started to find out more about you, that changed. What happened last night would have happened even if the chip was gone."

Xander looked uncomfortable again. "Yeah, about last night. I..."

"You have questions," stated Spike.

"Yeah, I do. I mean, I've read some stuff, y'know, there's..." Xander was stumbling over his words, knowing what he wanted to say, but not wanting to upset Spike and lose what he'd gained. The vampire reached across the table and took his hand. "Xander, listen to me. You have a right to ask any questions you want. I'm not going to get angry with you and throw you out, understand?" Xander nodded. "OK then, pet. Take a deep breath and spit it out."

"The stuff I've read. These guys, they're like slave and master, y'know, and..." his voice failed him again. "Right. You want that?" asked Spike.

"Hell no! I mean, no. I don't want to live my whole life like that. It's just, y'know, in bed and stuff." Xander was bright red by this time, and staring at the floor, tabletop, anywhere but at Spike.

"Thank god for that."

Xander looked up in surprise. "I thought maybe you were, like, y'know wanting that," he managed to say.

"No, Xan," explained Spike. "That's more an S and M thing, and that's really not where we're going here. Look, you've been filling your head with all sorts of things, a fair bit of which will have nothing to do with how we'll live. But you also need more than a bit of role-play from time to time. You're pretty directionless, Xander, and you're swayed by the dominant personality in any given situation. Don't forget, I've been observing you closely for a long time, pet. I know you better than you know yourself. You'll buck against things every now and then, but mostly you just go with the flow and do as you're told. I told you we were going to talk tonight, and we are. But not in the kitchen. We'll take this somewhere more comfortable."

*****

Spike led Xander into the master bedroom. There were two comfortable armchairs pulled in front of a fireplace, which held a gas-fired faux open fire. He gestured for Xander to sit down, and went to a small bar that was set up in the alcove next to the fireplace. He took out a bottle of JD and two glasses, and poured them a hefty drink each. He then turned on the fire, and switched off almost all the lights in the room, leaving only electric candle-light flickering from fixtures set on the wall on either side of the bed.

He gave Xander his drink, then sat in the other chair and stared into the flickering flames. "I've been watching you for a long time, pet. At first it was simply the challenge. How dare Angelus offer me something and then think it doesn't count. And make no mistake, pet. It wasn't Angel who offered you. It was the demon. The soul may not have meant anything by it, but the demon certainly bloody did. He saw something in you that he knew I would want. Bastard was always pulling shit like that. That's what drew my attention to you, and so I observed you, and I saw what Angelus saw, and I wanted it." Spike took a long swallow of his whiskey, then continued, "At first, I really couldn't see any way I could get you willingly. That was what I meant when I said I was going to turn you. But then I started to see things. The way you looked at other men when you thought no one would notice. Magazines you'd buy and then throw out in case anyone found them. Those were particularly illuminating, pet."

Spike looked up at Xander, who was halfway through his glass of whiskey and studiously avoiding looking in his direction. "Then those soldier bastards chipped me. And suddenly I had up close and personal contact with you. So who says there's no silver lining, eh?" Spike drained his glass and fetched the bottle from the bar, filling his glass again and topping up Xander's. "And there it was, everything I needed to know. I could smell the arousal coming from you, Xan, whenever I was around. And the blast that hit me when you were talking to the Watcher about the habits of Master Vampires that time almost knocked me over. And the clincher - the arousal seemed to build in you for days, then suddenly it was almost gone again. But you smelled of fresh blood each time. So I watched you, and discovered what you did with the knife. Did you know that you called my name every time you came?" He looked up at Xander, who was staring into his glass. Xander shook his head slowly. "No... No, I didn't," he whispered, not raising his eyes from the amber liquid he was gazing into as though it held the meaning of life.

Spike took another long swallow of his whiskey. "So I knew you wanted me. And I knew what you wanted me to be for you. So I made my plans, and then I made my move. I'd slipped you a mild sleeping potion - that's why you didn't wake up when I stripped you and tied you to the bed. I left you to think about it for a few days, and then last night I came back. To take you." Spike's voice had become low and husky, and his words felt like a velvet glove to Xander, wrapping themselves around him, stroking his cock into a throbbing hardness. He groaned, and swallowed the rest of his whiskey in one swallow, trying to soothe his suddenly too-dry throat. But Spike hadn't finished speaking yet. "This isn't play acting, Xan. This isn't about playing with a few ropes from time to time. You are submissive in your whole life, not just the bedroom, and you need a dominant master to give you direction. You've freely given yourself to me, Xander Harris, and I have freely taken you. And that is not a responsibility I will take lightly. And I will expect the same from you. So there it is, Xan, now you know. You can pick up your bags and leave now, and that will be the end of it. If you stay, you stay for good. I can't... I won't keep you against your will."

Xander put his glass down, and stood up. He walked across to Spike, and stood looking at him in the flickering firelight for a long time. Neither spoke. Then he slowly sank to his knees, and stared into Spike's eyes. "I want to stay, Spike. Last night, I decided that I would take whatever you were willing to give, if you would just come back. And you did." Xander sighed. "This is hard for me, Spike. I've hidden this for so long, even from myself when I could. I've tried so hard to really be the 'me' that I've projected to my friends. It's hard to admit what you want - what you need, when it's not what your friends would consider 'normal', y'know? But I felt things last night I've never felt before, and not just the sex. I mean I felt safe, and happy, and loved." Spike saw Xander's eyes widen in shock as he realised what he had just said. He smiled, and stroked Xander's cheek, cupping his chin to stop him averting his eyes again. "That's good, pet. I want you to feel safe, happy and loved. Because you are." Then he leant forward and kissed his boy gently on the lips.

Xander was stunned. 'Pinch me', he thought. I don't get this lucky. My life is not this good. But he felt Spike's arms enfolding him, and his tongue seeking entrance to his mouth. He parted his lips, and the kiss deepened. I'm home, he thought to himself.

Spike slowly broke the passionate kiss, and leaned back in his chair, taking in the sight before him. Xander on his knees, his hair dishevelled, his lips swollen from the kiss. He was a breathtaking sight, and Spike wanted to see more of his boy. He stood up, and began stripping the vision kneeling before him, slowly uncovering the bronzed skin. Xander attempted to rise, but Spike pressed down on his shoulders, and he stayed on his knees, lifting them one at a time to help remove his pants. When Xander was naked, Spike sat back down in the chair and just gazed at him. His eyes travelled down his muscular shoulders and chest, down to his navel, and then settled on his cock, which was hard, the tip shiny as the precum slowly oozed out.

"It would please me to watch you cum, pet. I want you to touch yourself. Show me."

Xander flushed under the intent gaze. He'd never done this for an audience before, but he wanted to do this for Spike. His hands drifted down to his cock, and he grasped himself firmly, his thumb swirling the precum over the head. He began pinching and stroking his nipples with his other hand, teasing them into hard pebbles. That hand then drifted down, and began playing with his balls, rolling them and squeezing them as he began to pump his cock. He moved his knees further apart, and raised himself up so that Spike had a good view. He alternated pumping his cock with rubbing his thumb firmly over the head, spreading the precum around to add more lubrication. Suddenly Spike's hand was on his arm, and he wordlessly handed him a tube of lube. Xander opened it, and poured some into his hand. He put the tube down and changed position, lying on his back with his knees bent and his legs spread as wide as they would go, opening himself up for Spike's viewing - for Spike's pleasure. He spread the lube over his cock and balls, feeling it run down his crack as it began to warm. He started pumping his cock harder, relishing the hot, slippery feeling. With his other hand, he massaged his balls again, and then moved his fingers down his crack, circling his anus the way Spike had the previous night. He dipped into it lightly, and then pushed in gently. He started to pump his finger in and out of himself with the same rhythm he pumped his cock.

"Two." The voice startled him for a moment, and then he realised Spike wanted him to open himself up, the way he had last night. Xander reached for the lube, poured some more over his balls, and then made sure all his fingers were covered in it. He pushed two fingers into himself, hissing at the burning sensation. He gritted his teeth and began pumping, and soon the burning eased and he could push further in. Suddenly he grazed something inside himself that made him see stars. "That's your prostate, pet. Now you've found it, rub it with your fingers a little." Xander arched off the floor as he rubbed against the smooth nub - the sensations were overwhelming. "Three," said Spike, dragging Xander away from his introspective discovery time. He withdrew his fingers, slathered them in the lube, and started to push three in. He hissed at the burn, and stopped for a moment, catching his breath. He slowly pushed them all the way in, breathing through the pain. Once they were as far in as he could get them, he stopped, leaving them there as he began to pump his cock again. He felt the tight grip on his fingers ease slightly, and began pumping them in and out. The sensation of impaling himself on his fingers as he fucked his hand was amazing, and his movements became faster and more erratic as he felt his orgasm building. He opened his eyes, not remembering exactly when he'd closed them, and saw Spike watching him avidly. He'd pushed his pants down his thighs, and was stroking his cock as he watched Xander perform on the floor in front of him. The sight made him groan, and he pumped harder, feeling his orgasm rapidly approaching. He closed his eyes, but heard Spike demand, "Look at me, pet." He opened his eyes and focussed on the face above him as the first waves of orgasm hit him. He fought to keep his eyes open as he convulsed, his cum spurting onto his chest.

Suddenly Spike was there, pulling Xander's fingers out of his body, replacing them with something thicker and cooler in one hard thrust. Xander arched up, the pain dampened by the tremors of pleasure still wracking his body. The cool length was slamming into him, somehow hitting that magic spot every time, and impossibly, Xander felt his cock hardening again. He grasped his cock with a still-lubricated hand. Spike stopped his movements for a moment as brown eyes met his, seeking permission. He nodded, and then lowered his gaze to Xander's neck. Xander understood, and as he pumped himself, he turned his head to one side, baring his throat to his master. Spike sank his fangs into the soft flesh, and Xander howled as he came for the second time, the delicious sucking at his throat pushing him over the edge. Spike's thrusting became harder and more erratic as he fed, and then Xander was flooded with cool cum. He wrapped his arms around Spike as he convulsed above him, and held him tightly. Spike gently removed his fangs from Xander's neck, and licked soothingly at his mark. He had deliberately bitten the same spot again. But this time he remained in game face. He sliced his tongue open on his fang as his pet watched, and then pressed his lips against Xander's, his bleeding tongue demanding entrance. For a second Xander froze, then he parted his lips and allowed access, submitting to the vampire's wishes. As Spike's tongue entered his mouth, he began sucking on it, swallowing the blood. After a few seconds Spike gently pulled away, and smiled. "I am very pleased with you, pet."

Spike raised himself up on his knees, and then stood up. He stripped off the rest of his clothes and walked into the ensuite, washing himself quickly and then bringing out a washcloth and towel a moment later. He cleaned Xander up, then threw the towels into the bathroom. He picked Xander up and carried him to the bed, pulling the quilt over them. He took Xander into his arms, and kissed him tenderly. Then Spike drew his head back slightly, looked carefully at the beautiful boy who shared his bed, and asked him, "Who are you?" Xander was taken aback for a moment, and then, he just knew... "I'm yours. I belong to you."

"That's right, pet. You're mine. You belong to me."

"I love you, Spike."

"Yeah, pet. I know. Get some sleep now."

"G'night Spike."

"Sleep well, pet."

SECRETS AND LOCKED DOORS