Honorable
Sons: 15
by Josie_h
Notes
Angel stared in awe as two beautiful men, his family, hand-in-hand, stood and returned his smile. One his Childe, the other his son, both precious for different reasons, both lost to him and now returned.
He momentarily feared the curse. If there was ever a moment of happiness this was it… but then he remembered Willow’s whispered admission before she returned to England. “I hope you don’t mind sweetie, but this whole healing ritual has also bound your soul, so it’s permanent. Spike figured you would be OK with that… umm you are OK with that, aren’t you?” Angel had answered by simply tugging her down into a heartfelt embrace, kissed her soundly, then smiled as the rather flustered, but pleased, blushing witch excused herself from his presence.
Now, the overwhelming rush of emotions pouring from his son at such close proximity, coupled with the concern and love running through the link from his Childe, began to take their toll. Angel fell partially into game face, and even though he was sitting down, obviously swooned a little. Spike was instantly at his elder’s side holding him, his Sire’s head resting on his shoulder. Connor moved to kneel at his father’s feet, hands placed gently on the vampire’s, still overly slim, knees, and rubbed small soothing circles. Both Childe and son observed their maker closely with concern and love.
“You OK pet?”
Angel sat up straight, sniffed hard, then let out a deep breath, “Yeah, thanks.” Angel then looked to his Childe and son in turn, “ My Will… Connor… just that the link was…”, he shrugged and struggled for words, “Well you felt it too.”
Spike intertwined his fingers with his Sire and squeezed a reassurance. Conner noted the interaction with interest, the act including a familiarity and intimacy he had not seen months before at W&H, and watching the pair further drew some of his own conclusions. He smiled as he realized the love that was not only apparent from the touches, but implicit in the feelings he was now receiving through the odd emotional connection he seemed to have with his true father.
Spike gave his partner’s hand a final squeeze then stood abruptly and turned to Connor, “Right well, what’s your poison? ‘Cause me ol’ Sire here is on a bit of an abstinence diet, so you an’ I gotta drink alone… I’m thinkin’ beers and sommit to munch on is the go… You like nachos?”
Connor was thrown by the easy manner of Spike – so much more like his ‘frat buddies’ than the quiet parental figure of Angel… and yet… his father’s partner? He decided to simply ‘go with the flow’.
“Yeah sure that would be great, but I can do without if you..”
“No problem mate,” Spike leaned over and kissed Angel lightly on the cheek, speaking in low tones, “You OK with me gone for a bit?” He received a nod, smiled knowingly at his maker then grabbed the long leather jacket as he ‘left the building’.
Connor and Angel remained, now alone. Conner raised himself up and swung around to sit beside his father. Not yet prepared to face Angel’s intense gaze, he leaned forward, elbows on widely spaced knees, and turned to look vaguely in the vampire’s direction.
“So…”
“So.”
“You and Will… Spike?”
Angel’s voice was barely above a whisper and a tear tracked down his cheek as he leaned forward and stared at his own hands.
“He’s my Childe, Conner. He is a master vampire with a soul and….”
“And your rescuer, and your nurse and if I’m not to far out of line your… lover?” Connor watched and felt a combination of regret and love reflected in the vampire’s face and through the link. “What? You think I’d be freaked or something?... Always figured you might swing both ways… did a bit of reading, you know after LA and…”
“I’m sorry..”
“For what? For surviving, ‘cause gotta say not upset about that. Or for Will? Seems like he’s good for you…. Besides! It’s your choice isn’t it… and yeah I get the vampire thing. And hey dad? Even if you weren’t a vamp, the gay thing is cool, OK.”
Angel stared at his son, realizing in that moment what it was to feel truly accepted by one you love. He whispered, “You are *so* special to me … I’m sorry for dragging you back into this mess of my life and well, for…. everything. I really didn’t think I’d get a chance to tell you… but I am *so* proud of you. You are everything I could have hoped to be, or hell, hoped for in a son. And I am *so* sorry that I caused you pain.” Tears were tracking down the dark vampire’s cheeks again. He leaned back and put his hands over his face.
Connor reached up to tug one of the hands away, “Dad. Dad! Stop… OK? Just stop beating yourself up… I’m fine… well sort of…”
Angel looked into blue eyes he had not seen properly for almost a year. The same eyes he looked into in the sports store as the knife came down; the ones he had seen as he said his farewells again when Connor departed for his own family after the Cyvus Vail incident; the eyes he locked on as he begged his son to leave Wolfram and Hart as the building shook around them; and then...
“I love you Connor. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know that. And it’s OK… really.”
“But you’re hurting. I can feel it through the link. What’s wrong? Is it me? Can I help?”
Connor’s demeanor suddenly changed, he turned to stare at the door and dropped his voice… “Nothing you can help with…. Unless you’re into miracles.”
“What? Please Connor what’s wrong?
“Life sucks is what!” The young man continued to look away, but Angel smelt the salty tears, and his eyes flashed gold again as the anger and pain flowed from Conner to his father.
“First I get told that you were dusted, and I don’t believe it. But I went to LA with the rowing crew last week and I go visit your old hotel, and it’s *gone*. Then I come home and find out that Mom’s got lymphoma… you know cancer, and it’s serious and they don’t know if… and Dad was crying… I mean he never cries and… and… I’m living in the best frat house and I’m having fun and thinking life is all great, and meanwhile Mom is *dying*.[hic] …. And they didn’t tell me ‘til it was really bad and …. I know she’s not really my Mom, but she *is*… and then … And then suddenly I… there’s all these dreams about you [hic]… and then there’s a phonecall, and God I should have stayed on that day. I should have stayed!... And then you wouldn’t [hic] have had to … for eight months and now… and you’re still… and Spike (?)… I know he’s… and it’s cool and … I just *wish*… ” Connor failed to continue, finally giving in to a series of hitched sobs.
Angel pulled his son into a tight hug. There was a sensation of strong comfort and true belonging embodied in the embrace, but Connor still noticed the overly slender nature of his real father’s limbs, at least compared to what he recalled from L.A.
Angel saw his son’s gaze brushing over the residual atrophy of his physiology, and felt sadness that he was not at his best. He continued to hold his boy in a silent, loving embrace for a time, then ventured, “Can we do anything for your mother?”
Connor’s reply was almost inaudible. “No, not really. She’s on chemo at the moment and then there are some other options they will try but um…”
Angel anticipated the jolt of grief and hopelessness through the link with his son, and was able to send loving support back before he felt overwhelmed by the feelings. The hug continued for some time until Connor finally sat up and gave Angel a small smile, “At least you’re ‘on the mend’ now…” They continued to talk quietly covering all manner of topics and realizing that the night would probably be the first of many friendly visits.
Spike returned with the promised beer and nachos some forty minutes later to find Angel leaning heavily on the door of their bedroom closet, apparently searching for something.
“Hey pet, somethin’ amiss?”
“Connor wants to see the pool so I… um… shouldn’t we have an extra?...”
Spike saw the strain on his Sire’s face. It was obvious that pride had meant he had left the chair in the lounge and walked, and that the evening had been a tough one. “Here let me luv.” Spike set down the food and drinks and moved in beside his partner. Snaking his arm around the larger vampire’s waist, he took the weight off tired legs and moved Angel to sit on the bed. He then quickly located a pair of suitable swimming shorts, picked up his purchases and with a curt nod to his Sire took the lot through to Connor.
Connor was busy flicking through television channels with little interest as Spike entered the room. “Here you go whelp. You want to swim before food? I’ll cover the nachos and keep ‘em hot if so. Here.” Spike threw the shorts and a beer, watching as Connor displayed all the speed and grace of his vampire parentage as he snatched both easily from the air without even looking up
“Swim first sounds good…You don’t have cable?”
“Yeah well… We’ve been kind of preoccupied, and your ol’ Da always did prefer classical music and a bit of reading over the box.”
“I remember…” Connor twisted the top off the beer, “Shouldn’t drink ‘n swim I guess.”
“Not much one for lifesaving mate, but I figure you’ll be right for a bit of a paddle, so long as you just have the one, mind. Besides, you’ll need to cool your heels for a few minutes while I sort some dinner for the wobbly bloke in the bedroom.”
“Oh, sure.” With that Connor returned to channel surfing and Spike continued through to the kitchen. He placed the remaining beers in the fridge , nachos in the oven, then quickly heated and drank two packs of blood, taking an extra mug full back to the bedroom in case he needed to ‘top up’.
Angel was lying down with eyes closed as his blonde companion entered the room.
“Hey Luv, you need me to take wonder-boy for a paddle while you rest?”
Angel answered without opening his eyes, “No, no, ‘s fine. I just… Bit tired that’s all.”
“Not surprised all the gallivantin’ you been doin’ lately – not to mention a few nights of no sleep… So…” Spike settled himself on the bed beside his maker, with his left arm tucked behind his partner, then swiftly opened his right wrist and offered it. Angel looked up in surprise, having assumed the mug of O pos was for him.
“Did a bit of an overeating - care to help me keep me svelte figure here? ‘N don’t go all puppy dog eyes and wait, ‘cause I’ll get it on the covers!”
As Angel took the wrist and began to draw on the precious fluid. Spike looked up to see Connor standing at the door, quietly observing the intimate scene of a Childe feeding his Sire. Engrossed in the sensation of being fed from, the blonde vampire simply smiled and nodded at the end of the bed him as an invitation.
Connor was struck by the tender embrace, noting that Spike’s free hand was rubbing small reassuring circles on his father’s shoulder, while Angel caressed the back of the arm he was feeding from. He moved quietly to sit on the end of the bed and continued to watch as Angel released his mouth, fell back into his human guise and began to lave the wound closed.
“Do you always…?”
“No pet, but today’s been a big day and you ol’ Da here needed a bit of a pep up. My blood’s stronger than that bagged stuff, master vampire and Childe of his lordship here – bloody well should be stronger!””
“I’ve always kind of thought vamp feeding was kind of… well gross really. But that was really… umm… well actually, nice.”
“Yeah well some folks think breast feedin’ a kid is gross… but it’s natural innit, same as this.” Angel’s eyes fluttered open just in time to see Connor flash a broad grin at Spike.
“You’re good for him, I can really see that.”
Spike reached his ‘bitten’ hand out to the boy and lightly patted him on the leg. “Oh I reckon he’d argue with you on that point some days…”
Angel gave his partner a squeeze with the arm that was across his partner’s torso “No, Connor’s right, you’re perfect for me.”
Spike winked at Connor then kissed his Sire passionately on the lips. Breaking it off, the smaller vampire sat up abruptly, clapped his hands and declared, “’K well now we’ve got all the mushy stuff out of the way, let’s us have ourselves a bit of a paddle shall we?”