A New Life, an Old Demon

 

Xander stepped into their room, smiling as he took in all the changes.  Pictures of Bran decorated their dresser drawer, and for some insane reason Spike had let him bring his ugly old barca lounger.  It rested now in the corner of the room, making him laugh at the incredible clashing it did with the rest of the furniture.

 

But actually he knew why Spike had insisted he bring it.  Spike had insisted because Spike knew what it meant to Xander.  Yeah, it was ugly.  Yeah, it was pretty uncomfortable, too.  But it was the first piece of furniture Xander had ever been able to afford on his own.  The first thing he'd bought after he'd left the Harrises for good.  He'd even slept on it for weeks until he could afford a bed.  Spike knew that, more than anything else, the lounger was a symbol, a reminder that Xander had been able to make it on his own.

 

Spike would be home soon; the thought made Xander smile.  Home.  Their home.  He loved it.  The fact that they were a family.  That they had a home, though part of him still marveled at his ability to make such a commitment.  After so many years of living apart, keeping his distance from the rest of world, he was amazed that Spike was able to touch his heart so swiftly.

 

Xander hadn't realized how lonely he'd been since he'd lost Willow.  And he was nothing but grateful that Spike had been able to crack the shell he'd built to protect himself.  He was startled out of his reverie by the sound of the front door clicking shut.

 

"Xan?"  Spike called.  Xander could hear him rustling around in the kitchen.  "Brought dinner, luv."

 

And Xander could smell the enticing aroma of tangy Italian sauces.  He stopped in Bran's room, knocking on the door before poking his head in.  "Come on, Bran.  Dinner's ready."

 

"Just one more minute!"  Bran answered, eyes never leaving the screen as he maneuvered his racing car through several obstacles.  "Please, daddy?"

 

He was such a sucker for his son's pleading voice.  "Okay, buddy, but just *one* minute, okay?"

 

"Thanks, daddy!"

 

Xander joined Spike in the kitchen, stopping to grab some glasses and a kiss on his way to the table.  "Mmm, hello."

 

"Hello, luv," Spike answered as he grabbed the plates and cutlery.  "Have a good day?"

 

"Yeah, I might actually have found a job."  Xander beamed a smile at Spike.

 

"I told you not to worry about that, Xan.  There's plenty of time."

 

"I know."  Xander shrugged.  "But I hate not pulling my own weight, you know?  Plus, I know it won't take long for me to get bored just staying at home."

 

"Well, whatever you want, luv.  Just want you to know that whatever you decide is fine," Spike said, dishing out the pasta onto three different plates.  "What's the job, anyway?"

 

"Oh, construction," Xander answered, dropping a piece of garlic bread on each plate.  "I'm pretty good with my hands, and they said they'd give me some on the job training.  And I figured physical labor is probably the way to go for me."

 

"So, they hired you right off?"

 

"No, not yet."  Xander shook his head.  "I still need to meet with the company boss, but the foreman on site said he thought I'd do fine.  I also told them that I wouldn't be able to start for another week though."  Xander quieted as he thought about *why* he couldn't start until next week.

 

They were dropping Bran off at Giles' tomorrow morning and then heading south towards the Valley.  He was nervous as Hell, but he tried to hide it from Spike, knowing that the other man worried about him.  He didn't know how long they'd be down there, what the confrontation would be like, or whether Anthony would just go ape shit and beat him to a pulp.  So he'd told the foreman he wouldn't be able to start for a whole week.  Just in case.

 

"Yay!  Spaghetti!"  Bran cried happily as he bounced into his seat.  "Thanks, Will!"

 

"You're welcome, bit," Spike answered automatically, his mind still focused on Xander and the tense expression the other man wore.  He reached across the table and took hold of Xander's hand, squeezing in an effort to comfort and soothe.  "You okay, luv?"

 

Xander nodded, squeezing back.  "Thanks, Spike."

 

With tomorrow's events looming ahead of them, dinner was a subdued event, except for Bran's animated description of his last great car race.  Watching Bran made Xander's somber mood lift a bit.  His son could almost always do that to him, lightening his heart with his innocent excitement and curiosity about everything around him.

 

"And then I hit this huge tree!  The car blew up and everything!"  Bran bounced in his seat.

 

"Doesn't that mean you lose, buddy?"  Xander asked.

 

"No, daddy!  You know why?  'Cause when you blow up your car a new one just shows up and you can start racing again!  'Cept by then you're almost always last, but still you get to finish the race!"

 

"Okay, bit, time for bed.  Off with you.  Your da and I will be in to read you a story in just a mo'."

 

"Okay."  Bran jumped up, kissing first Xander then Spike before racing off to his room.

 

Spike turned to Xander when he heard his lover's sigh.  "You sure you still want to do this, Xan?"

 

"No, but I have to."  Xander was still staring down the hall that Bran had disappeared into.  "If not for me, then for Bran.  I love him too much to let my old fears and insecurities hurt him anymore."

 

"What do you mean, luv?  You'd never hurt Bran."

 

"Not willingly, no," Xander answered finally, turning back to Spike.  "But don't you see, Spike?  Every time I wake up from a nightmare... Every time Bran has to comfort me... Every time he gets scared because he's not sure what's wrong - I hurt him.  I... I don't want to do that anymore."

 

"Ah, luv."  Spike wrapped his arms around Xander, holding him close.  Their lips met briefly in a sweetly chaste kiss that left Xander feeling warm all over.

 

"Thank you, Spike."

 

They stayed in each other's embrace until they heard Bran calling to them.  They separated only partially, walking down the hall with arms wrapped around each other's waists. 

 

***

 

They'd dropped Bran off at Giles'.  Joyce had been there as well, smiling and hugging Xander as if they'd been a family their whole lives. 

 

Xander still mostly shied away from her, but he was trying.  He knew how much it meant to both Spike and Bran.  Spike had confessed that Joyce had been the mother he hadn't had ever since they'd moved to Sunnydale.  And Bran was already calling her Grandma and telling her he loved her.

 

A part of Xander ached at the thought that Bran was coming to love other people, other people that were part of the 'family'.  He'd had Bran to himself for so long that the idea hurt a bit.  But he could see how happy Bran was, and so he kept his thoughts to himself.

 

Xander was broken out of his musings when Spike reached over to entwine their fingers as he drove.  The touch made Xander smile.  For once feeling as if he were a part of something, a part of *someone*.  Though Xander was still wary of letting others into their lives, he hadn't been able to stop Spike.  Hadn't been able to curb the feelings that had overwhelmed him as he got to know the other man.

 

"I love you."

 

Spike turned to smile at him, squeezing his hand.  "Love you, too, Xan," he assured.  "We don't have to see them today, luv.  We can stop at the hotel, get a good rest then see them first thing.  No need to rush, yeah?"

 

"I don't know, Spike.  Maybe it's better to get it over with.  I mean, I'm not sure I can wait another day.  I'll just spend the whole night worrying, you know?"

 

"I'll distract you, luv."  Spike leaned over quickly and kissed Xander's cheek.

 

"Hey, watch the road!"  Xander teased, ineffectually batting at Spike.  "I...I don't know.  I guess we can stop at the hotel first and then see.  Okay?"

 

Spike nodded, squeezing Xander's hand once more.

 

"What's the place called, anyway?"  Xander asked, curious.

 

"The Hyperion."

 

***

 

Check-in was quick and easy, the desk clerk knowing Spike by sight.

 

"I stay in L.A. occasionally to meet with the higher-ups," Spike chuckled at Xander's puzzled look.

 

They were just turning towards the elevator with their luggage when a familiar voice rang out, "What the hell are you doing in my hotel?"

 

"Sod off, peaches," Spike shot back, making Xander wonder what was going on.  Xander turned to find a broad-shouldered, dark-haired man smiling at them.

 

"I thought you were bringing your future wife this time."  He grasped Spike's outstretched hand then clapped him on the back.  "Where is she?"

 

"I never said that," Spike answered back, glancing furtively at Xander.

 

"You said you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her."

 

"*Him*.  Angel, I said him."  Spike tugged Xander forward.  "This is Alexander.  Xander, to most."

 

"Well, this is a surprise."  Angel looked back at Spike.  "When you emailed me you were in love with Alexander, I though you left off an "A" at the end or something."

 

Angel turned towards Xander, sizing him up.  Then he smiled and held his hand out.  "Lucky man.  Every time I hit on him, he turned me down."

 

Xander shook hands with the man, still a bit confused over the conversation.  But the fact that Spike had told someone that he wanted to spend his life with Xander had him melting inside.  He'd actually told someone.  A friend, it looked like.

 

He wasn't ashamed, or worried.

 

They said their good-byes to Angel, promising to meet for dinner before they headed back to Sunnydale, and then continued their way up to their room.

 

Xander beamed at Spike, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.  "Thank you."

 

"For what, luv?"

 

"For giving us a chance."  They kissed again, Spike quickly sliding the keycard in the lock.  "And convincing me to give us a chance, too."

 

Spike dropped their bags just inside the door, as Xander flopped onto the bed.  "Maybe we should wait until tomorrow.  I'm already feeling kind of drained."  He sighed.

 

The mattress dipped as Spike sat down next to him.  "Sure, Xan.  Let's rest up a bit.  Then we can go to dinner, yeah?"

 

"That sounds good, Spike."  Xander snuggled into Spike's embrace, letting himself drift lazily.  He could tell that Spike was falling asleep, the rhythm of his breathing even and slow.  Xander didn't think he could fall asleep anytime soon, but he was happy to spend a couple of hours just resting in Spike's arms.

 

They'd have to deal with the Harrises soon enough.