BEGGARS
CAN'T BE CHOOSERS 6
By
Nash
Notes
Spike woke up to the feeling of a warm,
wet mouth surrounding his cock. He looked down just in time to see Xander lift
his mouth and groaned out in frustration at the action.
“Morning,
sweetheart,” Xander said. He smiled up at him and then went right back to
sucking and licking every centimetre of Spike’s dick.
Spike tried to say
good morning but Xander’s mouth latching onto the crown of his cock and sucking
harder caused any words that escaped him to come out in a moan. The blond’s back
arched and his hand moved to tangle in Xander’s hair. “Fuck, yeah, pet, just
like that,” he whimpered, spreading his legs to give Xander more
room.
Xander took full advantage of Spike’s new position and started
massaging the blond’s balls. He bobbed his head up and down Spike’s shaft;
taking as much as he could into his mouth before sucking his way back up then
down again, pressing his tongue against the underside of the cock.
Spike
couldn’t pull enough air past his vocal cords to make any sort of sound that
could be considered intelligent. His jagged panting and occasional moans and the
little wet noises made by Xander’s mouth moving over his cock were the only
sounds in the room. He felt Xander’s pull him deeper into that hot, wet mouth
surrounding him and the fingers on his ass begin massaging his ass cheeks. Two
powerful thrusts later and he was cumming with his head thrown back and eyes
screwed shut.>
Xander hopped out of bed, full of energy and laughter,
already dressed for work. He looked down at the bemused and sated vampire on his
bed and smiled widely. “That,” he stated, “was a ‘thank you’. You get more after
we tell them.”
And with that he sauntered out of the
bedroom.
-------------------
That day, Xander told everyone who
would listen, and even a few who’d rather not, about his boyfriend, the hot,
gorgeous blond. His co-workers went from knowing nothing about the person
putting the smile on Xander’s face to knowing every little detail of the
couple’s life together that could be shared in public.
On his first
break, he called Willow to tell her the good news, reminding her that Spike
didn’t know she knew. “Please Wills, do the surprised but supportive act. I’m
not sure how Buffy will take the news and I want Spike to know that at
least one of you supports us, ‘kay?” he pleaded until Willow told him she’d take
care of it and could he hang up the phone and go back to work
now?
-------------------
During the walk to the
Magic Shop, Xander held Spike’s hand. He threaded his fingers through Spike’s
and every few minutes he would move his arm a little to tug at the hand he was
holding and prove to himself the reality of it. After every little tug, he
smiled and glanced at his boyfriend’s face.
Spike, bless his unbeating
heart, wasn’t annoyed at the constant tugging at all. He thought it was cute
that Xander got so much enjoyment just by holding his hand. Every time he saw
Xander smile and look at him, he smiled a little himself. When he saw the shop
coming up, he disentangled his hand gently and turned to look at Xander. “Best
tell them first, pet. We can do this as much as you want after tonight, yeah?”
he said and ghosted a hand along Xander’s face.
“Yeah.” Xander grinned at
him and turned to walk the last few yards and into the shop.
They found
the others waiting for them a little impatiently.
“Come on guys, I have
to take Dawn home on the way to the cemetery and I don’t want to leave it too
late,” Buffy said, already starting for the door.
“Hey Buffy, could you
wait a minute?” Xander asked, a little nervous now that it came down to it. What
if Spike backed out again? He risked a glance at his boyfriend only to find him
looking amused at something Dawn had whispered. “Spike?” he said, a little
question at the end of the name betraying his nervousness.
“Yeah Xan?”
laughing blue eyes met his, no intention evident in their depths.
“Didn’t
you… I mean weren’t you…nothing.” Disappointment clouded the boy’s face before
being swiftly hidden.
“What did you want, Xander?” Buffy sounded
impatient now, waiting for him to tell her why he stopped her.
“Nothing,
Buff, just wanted to ask where the double headed axe was.” He grabbed said axe
from the counter and started for the door.
He walked in front of the
others, ignoring Willow’s attempts to make him feel better and glaring at the
pavement. Spike wasn’t going to say anything. They were so going to have a big
‘fuck off’ argument when they got back to the apartment. He loved Spike with all
his heart, but if the bleached menace thought he could get away with promising
to tell everyone and then backing out, he had another thing coming.
Xander was so focused in his internal ranting that he nearly didn’t hear
Spike casually ask if the Bit could wait up for them, cause there was something
he had to tell everyone after the patrol was over. He looked at Willow who was
still walking behind him and grinned. “I’m an idiot,” he stated.
Willow
cheerfully agreed and they walked the rest of the way chatting and making each
other laugh.
-------------------
When they reached
the cemetery they split in two teams, Xander going with Buffy and Spike with
Willow.
It was a fairly routine patrol. The few fledges that were
careless enough to be spotted by the Slayer were swiftly dispatched. Buffy and
Xander talked easily about anything and everything as they walked around the
cemetery. When his friend tried to find out what Spike wanted to tell them,
Xander stammered and faked ignorance, swiftly changing the subject to Buffy’s
love life or lack thereof. He sighed in relief when Buffy allowed herself to be
distracted and chatted about the lack of good-looking men in Sunnydale,
empathizing with his friend’s unsuccessful attempt at a blind date the night
before.
They were on their way back to the entrance of the cemetery to
meet with the others, when eight rather large demons stepped in front of them.
They were around six foot tall, with overgrown muscles and squishy faces. A bit
like monster-ized humans but gray in color and decked out in elegant suits and
robes, right out of a Persian fairy-tale.
“Look-ee here boys, it’s the
Slayer,” one of them said, laughing mockingly, “You’re rather small and skinny
for a demon hunter, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, well good things come in little
packages and all that.” Buffy said, sarcasm dripping from every word. “Can we do
the fighting bit now? My sister’s waiting for me to go home and I don’t want to
keep her up past her bedtime.”
“But of course. I never keep a lady
waiting.” The demon did a funny little bow and launched his attack.
Xander quickly found himself surrounded by three of the demons, the
other five circling Buffy. He did his best to fight them and he managed to kill
one and seriously injure another before someone grabbed his axe from behind and
threw it away. He turned around and come face to face with their leader. Why was
he here? Wasn’t the leader always supposed to go for the slayer? He
warily walked backwards glancing around for possible avenues of escape or help.
Buffy was too busy dealing with the three remaining demons and before he
realized what was happening he was backed against a tree. Seeing the knife at
the demon’s hands, he started praying for divine interference when he saw Spike
running towards them. His boyfriend was anything but divine, but he was good
enough for Xander!
He looked at the demon that was looking at him with
mocking amusement and yelled at the top of his lungs “Spike! A little help
here!”
Spike looked at his direction and then turned towards Buffy.
Xander watched him turn away and shouted again, voice tinged with
desperation, “Spike, please. Spike!”
The last thing he saw before the
knife plunged into him was Spike looking towards him again and running to help
the Slayer. His last thought before he lost consciousness was ‘He left me here.
For her.’ And that hurt more that the knife.
-------------------
Xander woke up in the hospital,
disoriented and confused. He looked down and noticed a mop of blond hair resting
on the bed near his knees. He smiled at the thought of Spike refusing to go
anywhere while Xander was in here. Such a possessive, overprotective demon was
his vampire; he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone coming near a loved one
without him being present to make sure everything was okay. He’d been that way
when Xander sprained his ankle a few months back and they hadn’t even been
together then.
Reaching down he petted Spike’s hair, and tried to
remember what he was doing in the hospital. It must have been those funny gray
demons, he concluded, they’d really packed a punch. As Spike’s eyes slowly
opened, he looked in them and smiled a good morning.
His vampire smiled
back at him. “You’re awake,” he said, relief and joy stamping every word. Spike
turned his face to call for a nurse and something stirred at the back of
Xander’s mind. He snatched his hand back and stared at Spike in shock and
confusion. He saw himself screaming for help, and he saw Spike turn away. Then
it all came back to him. Spike had left him, he’d had a choice and he’d chosen
Buffy. Not him. Buffy. Suddenly it was all too much to bear.
“Get out,”
he whispered harshly.
“What?” It was Spike’s turn to be shocked and
confused.
“I said, get out.” Xander repeated, an edge of hysteria
creeping into his voice.
“Xander, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” his vampire
asked, worried blue eyes trying to figure out how to help him. No wait, not
his vampire, Buffy’s vampire, acting like he cared.
“Get out damn
you!” screaming now, getting more hysterical with every word “You lied to me you
bastard, get the fuck out, you don’t love me, you love her, you lied to me and
you left me there to die, you left me there! To help her! Get out, just
fuck off, and get the fuck out”
Alarms started blaring at the monitors
hooked up to Xander’s body and a nurse ran in, efficiently inserting a needle in
his arm and sternly telling Spike to leave, he was upsetting her patient and the
boy didn’t need that right now.
The combination of the drugs and the
outburst suddenly crashed into Xander, leaving him drained and shattered. He
turned his head away from Spike and closed his eyes, blocking out everything,
including Spike’s stricken and fearful face. What right did he have to be
upset; he’s the one that had left Xander there with a knife coming at
him.
Spike wandered out of the room shocked and upset. He couldn’t
understand why Xander was acting that way, why he renounced Spike. Where did all
that animosity come from? He found Willow in the waiting area. Buffy and Dawn
had gone home a little while ago, the Slayer needing to recuperate a little
herself. The redhead took one look at him and realized something was
wrong.
“Spike? Is Xander… is he okay?” she asked anxiously.
“He’s
f…” Spike took a deep breath. Xander wasn’t fine. “He woke up,” he
amended.
“That’s good news right? Spike, if he’s awake why are you like
this?” Willow questioned.
“He hates me,” Spike said disbelievingly. “He
hates me and he got hysterical and he wanted me to go.”
“Spike what are
you on about, Xander doesn’t hate you, he’s in love with you,” Willow burst out,
trying to get to the bottom of this.
“He…” the blond frowned and looked
at Willow. “You know,” he stated.
The redhead sighed. “I’m his best
friend Spike. I’ve known him since we were babies. Of course I know,” she said
quietly, “Now tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know. He woke up, smiled
at me, and then suddenly he froze for a minute. He asked me to get out and I
didn’t and then he got hysterical and started going on about how I left him to
die, to help her. What her? I never left him anywhere! He said I lied and I
didn’t love him. Why would he say that?” he appealed to Willow, looking lost and
bewildered.
“I don’t know Spike. He seemed fine on the way to the
cemetery. Buffy didn’t mention anything happening other than those demons.”
Willow looked as confused as he felt.
At that moment, the nurse that had
responded to Xander’s alarms going off approached them. “He’s calmed down now,”
she said. “I would prefer it if you didn’t go to see him sir. Your presence
upsets him and we need him to be as calm as possible right now. He asked for a
Willow?”
“That’s me. Can I go see him?”
“Of course. Please try
not to upset him.” The nurse nodded and left.
Willow turned to Spike and
touched him softly on the shoulder. “I’ll see if I can find out okay?” she said
and walked away.
-------------------
The minute his friend walked
in the room Xander finally let the tears fall. Willow rushed to his side and sat
next to him on the bed, wrapping her arms around him. She waited quietly for his
tears to stop, comforting him best she could with her arms.
“He doesn’t
love me,” he finally said, voice muffled by her sweater.
“Xander, of
course he does. You were out of it for over a day and he was frantic with worry.
He wouldn’t leave your room for any reason. He even refused to get himself blood
to feed,” Willow said, stroking his hair.
Xander lifted his head from her
shoulder, eyes red from crying, skin pale from the injury.
“He’d do that
for anyone he cares for. He’s not in love with me Willow. He’s in love with
Buffy. He left me there with a demon holding me at knifepoint and he ran to help
the Slayer. I begged him and he left me there, for her. He may care for me but
he loves her. More than life.” He laughed bitterly. “More than my
life anyway.”
“Xander no!”
The two people on the bed turned to
look at the distraught vampire standing on the doorway.
“Spike maybe you
should -” Willow started to say only to be interrupted by a desperately babbling
Spike.
“I didn’t see you! We did research after, those were Aora demons,
they…they can make it so their victims so they can’t be seen. He covered you
Xander, I couldn’t see you until after…I- I found you under the tree and you
were bleeding and there was so much blood and you were so pale. I thought you’d
died.” Spike shuddered at the memory.
Xander just stared at him, an
inscrutable look on his face.
“I love you Xan. Please, believe me, I love
you,” Spike pleaded.
Xander looked down on his lap for a few moments.
When he spoke again he did so quietly, flatly, no inflexion of any kind in his
voice. “So these demons can make themselves and their victims invisible. Do they
mask sound and smell as well?”
Willow frowned in thought. “No, no they
don’t. That’s how Spike was able to get the one that stabbed you. He was walking
towards the tree we found you under and he heard the demon move.”
Xander
nodded as if that made perfect sense. “Spike, remember when I asked you how you
knew to pounce on me when I was coming down the stairs to the basement of the
Magic Shop?” he asked.
Spike stared at Xander disbelievingly, not knowing
what to make of this apparent change of subject. “Yeah, love.”
“Don’t
call me that,” Xander said and, not giving Spike a chance to reply, he
continued, “Tell me what you said Spike. Tell me how you knew it was
me.”
“Your heartbeat is different, I could hear it and your scent is
fairly distinctive Xan. What’s all this about?” Spike replied frustrated and not
understanding what Xander was driving at.
“I yelled for you Spike. The
demon didn’t cloak my voice did he? Or my heartbeat. Or my scent. I begged you
to help me and you looked my way for a second before you run to Buffy,” the boy
explained in that same flat, emotionless voice.
“No Xander, I love you, I
wouldn’t - “
“You did though, didn’t you?” Xander interrupted, “You love
me, but you’ll always love Buffy more. And I need time to think on that.”
Spike looked at him in shock, trying to find the words to explain that
it wasn’t true. It wasn’t. He loved Xander. He started to say something,
anything to fix this but he before he could even utter a word he was interrupted
by a gentle voice. “I think you should leave him alone for a while,” Willow
said, not unkindly, “I want to speak to you anyway.”