Xander stalked across the cemetery, muttering to himself. "Go look for the crazed vamp, Xander. Drusilla? No. The other crazed vamp, Xander. Jeez. First, it's grunt work for the slayer; now it's grunt work for her former arch nemesis, who really isn't that bad a guy, all so that we can defeat her really extra crazed nemesis who also happens to be her former lover, so that the former nemesis can have his girlfriend back. For this, I left high school?"

He kicked a tombstone, mildly mollified when it broke instead of his foot because hey, come on, pretty cool. "And while we're at it, Xander, no more comfy clothes for you. Oh, no. You're a vamp now. Gotta shop at the house of Black and Black and More Black. And wear things that'd cut off my circulation if I had any. Hah."

"Oh, and by the way, Xander, you're to act like a bloody vampire. Hey, redundant much Spike? Jeez." He shoved his hands in his pockets and kept walking. "But no drawing attention to yourself, Xander, especially not from the slayer. So no tasty Willows for the Xand-man." Especially not with the little addendum Spike had tacked on to the end: I don't share well, pet. So don't go bringing home any strays neither.

He'd managed to wrangle an okay to snap a few jock necks, but just his luck, they were all home in bed like good little boys.

Weren't jocks supposed to be out all hours of the night partying?

And the Twinkie he'd swiped from the news stand just didn't taste the same.

What was the point of living forever if Twinkies tasted like shit?

Of course, people who ate Twinkies might taste better. With a shrug, Xander decided it was worth trying out. He was considering the ways he could track down potential Twinkie eaters when a familiar glitter in the grass caught his eye.

Cordelia's heart pendant.

He should recognize it. He bought it. And had gone through a nice bit of hell thanks to its help.

But as far as he knew, the last time he'd seen it, it hadn't smelled of Angel. Frowning, Xander sat in the grass to examine the pendant, letting it slowly spin and dangle in front of his eyes.

He remembered picking it out. Remembered the funny feeling in his stomach while he waited to give it to Cordelia. Maybe love. Some kind of love. He'd even be willing to admit that it might have been puppy love, but it'd been something. Xander hadn't chosen a heart out of completely cliché sentiment, but because it was an impossible message to miss, or he'd thought so at the time.

He wondered if Spike gave Drusilla Valentine's Day gifts. Probably. Probably real live hearts. Xander snorted, trying to imagine Spike handing over a still warm heart to a thrilled Drusilla, and surprised himself when he couldn't quite. He tried picturing Spike giving Drusilla the kind of heart he'd given Cordelia, and found that a little bit easier.

So could vampires love?

Xander thought about Cordelia. Okay, definite interest centered on the neck going on there. But necking had always been most of what he and Cordy were about, just not that kind of necking, till now.

Maybe it'd be easier to think about Willow. He knew he loved Willow. Real love. Life long love. Bite you, turn you, keep you with me forever love. God, she'd look hot in leather. Xander winced.

Question answered. Xander let out an unnecessary breath and willed his erection to play nice and go back to sleep in the tight jeans please. And how the hell did creatures without circulation walk around with constant boners? It was worse than being a teenaged human boy, and he'd know!

Right. Loved Willow, at least it felt like love. Wanted different things for her now, maybe, but still loved Willow. But who could blame him? What kind of guy would he be to watch his best friend grow old, get sick, and die? Xander relaxed against the tombstone, and crossed his legs at the ankles. A little tap set the heart to swinging again.

But he also needed Willow. So maybe it was just the need talking.

Someone newer then. Buffy.

A tingle like the kind he always got watching tentacle hentai shot to his balls. Okay. Slayer equals serious vampire kink. Check.

But love?

Not so sure.

How about Spike?

And there, Xander got a warm, gooey feeling in his stomach like red velvet cake, and a desperate feeling in his chest like he used to get for Buffy. Kay. Possible love there. Definite lust.

What was it with vampires. Were they all omnisexual?

Xander thought about sheep.

Okay, maybe just bisexual.

He thought about that for a bit, then decided he could handle it. And, weird much that it didn't bother him? He was pretty sure it would have bothered him a few days ago, but then, he was pretty sure feeding on a couple of Doublemeat Palace employees would have bothered him a few days ago too.

He was also pretty sure that he'd expected to feel a lot different if he ever got turned. And he didn't.

Which got him to thinking about Jesse, and that was too close to the whole love thing when all he could remember was Jesse dusting on him.

Right, not thinking about Jesse. Much. Cause if Jesse felt about him anything like he was feeling about Willow just then, he could . . . understand.

Xander cocked his head, waiting for the familiar rush of regret and nagging worry that always accompanied thoughts of Jesse. It didn't come.

Huh. Cool. No guilt. Bit of regret. Maybe this vampire thing wasn't so bad.

Xander tossed the heart, caught it, and was about to shove it in his pocket when he heard the voices.

"It had to have fallen off here. There's no other time it could have. I mean, did you see the way he landed on me? God, what an animal!" Cordelia.

"Vampire. Pretty much required." Oz, then.

"Don't worry. We'll find it. I mean, you're right. If it was going to fall off, it probably fell off when Angel jumped you." Xander's teeth itched, and he scrambled behind the Alpert tomb. Willow. She smelled . . . like Twinkies. He grabbed onto the marble columns to resist temptation.

"This is all Buffy's fault, you know," Cordelia said, and Xander could hear them pacing back and forth across the grass. He looked down at the heart in his hand, realizing that was what they were looking for. "If she hadn't gotten sick, Angel wouldn't have gotten anywhere near me. I wouldn't even have been out in an icky cemetery after dark!"

Slayers were allowed to get sick?

"It's not where you fell." Oz again.

"Maybe we should come back in the morning." Willow, this time. "When there's light. I don't feel safe leaving Buffy in the hospital alone. I mean, what if Angelus showed up there?"

Hospital? And hey, good idea. The only flaw in it was that to get to the hospital, Xander would have to first get past Willow, Oz, and Cordelia. He looked down at the pendant in his hand, shrugged, and lobbed it over the roof of the tomb.

"What was that?"

"It came from over there."

"Cordy's pendant."

"It must have gotten caught in the trees. . . "

The conversation faded out on Willow as Xander ran away, eyes and mind fixed only on the hospital, and before dawn, and hopefully not getting his ass kicked by anyone there or on the way. Which shouldn't be too difficult since pretty much everything in Sunnydale was a ten minute walk away, and that'd been as a human. As a vampire, he found himself at the hospital in under five.

He was already wondering if he could swipe blood bags to take home and put in the fridge next to the beer when he pushed through the waiting room doors and checked out the map beside the front desk. Bagged blood might be a good idea if he could manage a quick lift. Because even in Sunnydale, pizza delivery places were gonna stop sending food to the house pretty soon if he and Spike kept eating the delivery guys.

He was lost in wondering where the hospital kept the blood, and what tune was being whistled down the hospital corridor from him when an uncomfortably familiar voice made him freeze in his tracks.

"Aw, look what Spikey made. Does it have a name?"

Prickles ran up the back of Xander's neck, and he turned slowly, fighting the urge to ease his back closer to a wall, instinctive safety. "Name's the same as it ever was, Deadboy. I don't pretend I'm somebody else when I want people to trust me."

"Y'know," Angelus said, conversationally leaning in closer to Xander until Xander could smell the rot at the heart of the roses Angelus carried, where they'd already begun to die too subtle for the human nose to detect. "That's gonna be really interesting to see when your friends find out about your little change of allegiance."

"Hasn't all changed," Xander answered, and where the hell were these words coming from when every cell in his brain knew it was a bad idea to piss Angelus off?!

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. I still hate you, for example."

Angelus's hand shot out, catching Xander around the neck and slamming him into the wall hard enough to make him struggle and gasp until he remembered he didn't need to breathe, and stilled, glaring into Angelus's eyes. "If I decided to take you on right here, right now, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?"

"Maybe not. But if you try anything, I'll drop right here, and when they check me for a pulse, there won't be one. You'll probably be able to get away from the police, but do you wanna bet you'll get away from them before dawn? Or before Buffy's out of the hospital again and safe in her house?"

"Buffy's White Knight." Angelus looked him over slowly, the ugly smirk on his face growing with what he saw. "You still love her? It must just eat you up that I got there first, and now that you're like me, you'll never be anything to her but a monster to stake."

"Like you." Xander held Angelus's eyes, taking his courage from the human security trappings around them, or maybe it was just the stupid talking. Xander was used to the stupid talking. "Only you're gonna die. And I'm gonna be there."

Angelus smacked the flowers he held against Xander's chest, hard enough to rock him back on his feet, then caught Xander's shoulder and leaned in to murmur cool words against his ear. "Tell her I stopped by. If she lets you live that long."